Well this isn’t this awkward, not the Charles Hamilton Cd but like actually awkward. I haven’t said anything in a good few month since the season 2 finale. This isn’t public speaking, but damn I legit don’t know how to start this off.
Legit just heard a voice that said TAKE YA TIME PASTOR!!
For me that means I’ll just word vomit as Friday Night Plans plays in the background. OMG I love her so much.I do.
A lot has happened since the last issue. When I say a lot I mean a lot. This is my first Saturday when I have not left the house in fucking months. I will start off by saying I didn’t go speak at my homegirls daughters school like i was asked to, things got busy on my end. Maybe next time on DBZ I’ll get to inspire the youth with my JRPG level art journey. Now that will beyond awkward, for me at least. Spoiler Alert, I am not a role model ya’ll, I’m not….at least I don’t think so. But it is possible that I inspire someone the way anime and comics inspired me, and still do.
Money also inspires me, and not having to work at bullshit cotton fields.My toxic treat is that I hope the cotton field I shuck and jive at closes down and I’m not too tired to work on my comic series. And there ya have it folks the segue to what this issue is about.
Heavy Yeet.
I just finished an issue, so by Yeet Gawd logic I release an issue. It makes sense right? Side note, I legit finished this issue in 2017. Again I say I don’t know why I took so long to release it, but it prob was a good thing. One of my friends has been reviewing my grammar since I’m not smarter than 5th grader. See kids when you work bullshit jobs that don’t involve grammatical skills, you forget simple things like where do you insert a comma. I wish i was lying but NOPE.
As of right now she has reviewed issues 1-13. The next batch i send her will be issues 14-20, but that is when I’m completely done with this epic. I just finished issue 15 and as of right now I have 240 pages. Here is hoping the last 5 will feel like doing the first 5.
I hope.
My goal is to abstain from doing art shows and being a merchant as much as I can, because this past year I was really on tour. I can be satiated being out of the public eye to work on my magnum opus. Doing shows is a lot, a lot my nigga. We can talk about that next time tho. But once I finish this series in its entirety I prob will release issues in a faster method.
Did anyone go yay? Or is that feeling of ain’t no one checking for me correct.
Hey Google play Feel by Kendrick Lamar.
Sorry existential September is on the way and that wave has been washing over my ankles lately and my socks are drenched.
Shit.
At any rate issue 5 is here and thus the end of Act 1 of this JRPG level story.
Synopsis time.
Watatsumi and Kagutsuchi arrive and time to stop Abyssals rampage. But now they must face the one who is responsible for this ordeal. Secrets will finally be revealed as emotions fly high on the battlefield.
That is it for now. The next issue will be ummmm Idk. I can’t say for certain when Season 3 will start, but at least you have 2 seasons to re read to hold ya over until then.
Kinda the way DBZ took forever to get to season 3 with the fight with the remain Ginyu Force members and Freeza.
Yea y’all read that correctly this is a season finale. A 4 part season finale IN Black History Month.
But Jano what do you mean a 4 part season finale?
Excellent question. In case you forgot the point of my photo portion of my JRPG Bizarre Art Journey was to get more experience working with models since I’ve mostly done events. However as of now I reached that point i was at in January of the trying times of 2020, where I have no more shoots to talk about. Well I do but they are all events which I legit disassociate while doing.
I phase out and don’t’ get attached while being there. Like I’m the Watcher from Marvel Comics or something.
And since I feel like I will be doing filler issues for the next 4 months and literally have no patience for that. Today I give you a rare treat of 4 a part season finale, kinda like 90s cartoon. Prime example, the X-men episodes when Apocalypse was at the nexus of time and we saw Psylocke for the first time and a slew of random team ups.
This isn’t that epic, but you get the point. The only real comparison is that they came back with new episodes even thought that finale was supposed to be the final arc.
As if.
At least we will get a new X-Men series continuing from the episodes that followed the aforementioned arc.You may want to get a book mark to help you along with the entirety of this issue.
A Quinceañera….with no subtitles
This part of the issue if brought to you by Cotton field 10, the place that inadvertently gave me more than a lumped out throat. Not enough to fully live off,but ya know other things. Case in point even tho I left when the Covid lockdown occurred that accomplished nothing, but pissing off white people. My girlfriend stayed in that hellish landscape and over time made friends. Look at her making friends and shit. One of her friends knew that I was a photographer and also knew someone who was looking one. Ding Ding Ding. This Spanish family needed someone for their daughters Quinceanera and I was the first person they thought of. Have I ever worked a Quinceanera before? Absolutely not. But i was about to. I didn’t make contact with the client but my girlfriend did, and she literally coordinated the whole thing.
Side note we are in July of 2021 and my car is still very much not working. Actually at this point, it is sitting in a shop being ignored and the owners telling me shit that isn’t true.
Anyway.
So the Saturday comes and after she comes home from work and gets ready, we go to the newly appointed location since the initial location they wanted was congested with possible Covid contaminated humans.and we wait….and wait….and wait.
Side note, in case you are wondering why I linked the last sentence twice, it is because I did shoots in the areas this clients wanted, and the current shoot takes place where I shot someone before. Just in case it wasn’t obvious.
We wait for at least 2 hours, because the daughters hair stylist canceled on her or something. I don’t remember. I don’t. It don’t help that I didn’t exactly speak to them, I literally can’t speak Spanish.
At all.
So my Puerto Rican girlfriend was the primary contact with this family. We did some shots in the park, but this portion felt very rushed. They still had to be at the venue at a certain time, despite the 2 hr delay. After the rush job we left and headed to the hotel…and a yo real shit i don’t have a good recollection of events. You know how when you watch something in a foreign language and there is subtitles so you are a little more connected to the event.
Yea, there were no subtitles. No such subtitles exist. It was a fully Spanish event with me being the sole Negro in desperate need of a translator communicating with my brain.
Spoiler Alert.
She told me what was happening and what I needed to get shots that was of significance for this type of event while my photographer instinct helped guide the way. But real shit I was highly detached from this like most events i do.
I can tell you that I realized I had to raise my rate for events.
Why?
Because events are fucking exhausting. That is why. Niggas just be sitting there for elongated periods of time as nothing happens, waiting.
Fucking waiting Janolytes. FUCKING WAITING.
So yeah i raised my rate and realized photo shoots and events are on different levels. On a positive notes besides my amazing ass images with a flash I’ve barely used. The amount of money I got from this helped me repair my car from the problems that were plaguing it since late March. Of course I didn’t get it fixed until October. But you know a win is a win.
Go ahead and read my subtitle less experience and we will fast forward to September.
Mad Monster Expo!
Fall was approaching and I had just started a new cotton field while being on pause from Jeff Bezos slave pit.
Jano how did you pause a slave pit?
Don’t worry about that. Just be happy for me that I found something else that had my body in less pain even though i worked longer hours. Esp since the litany of car repairs that were meaningless had tapped my wallets heart.Plus my trip to New York City wasn’t cheap. Blessed Be for seasonal slave pits that I somehow get kept at. In midst of me readjusting to a new plantation my actress homegirl hit me up asking if i could video panels at Mad Monster Expo.
Ummm videos?
Legit have never done videos, at all. Luckily Google and You tube are a thing. I watch a few and realize maybe I’m over thinking this process. I def have to buy a bigger memory card.
Side note, I’m legit glad how NOW you can get so much space for like $24, its fucking amazing bro.
I tell her I’m down and make arrangements to borrow my girlfriends car, because sadly my car is still not repaired.
Time Out.
My car literally sat at these south of the border niggas shop for 5 weeks and nothing happened. Nothing Happened. I came back from NYC getting a fucking convo full of fuckery. Luckily someone I met Jeff Bezoes slave pit told me about a place, problem was getting my car in said shop because niggas leave their cars there to die. So that was a thing until the end of September.
Legit wasn’t planning on my car repairs to be a part of my Bizarre art Journey, but here we are.
Time in.
I tell my homegirl that I will do Saturday and Sunday. The weekend comes and before I head to the Expo I have to go buy a lens that I think I lost in the woods.
UGH, the irony is I never bought that lens and now a squirrel is using it help fend off its kids from snakes. FUN.
I arrive at the Expo, and man so many white people. So many white people, enough that i play my usual game of count the ethnic folk just in case. I meet with her and then we meet with the organizer who needs a videographer. He seems chill which is good, and explains to me that the people who he had video taping the panels were so starstruck that they forget to hit record.
AYO!!
I have no clue who these niggas are bro, so don’t worry about that. Spoiler Alert, I’ve seen so little movies in life. SO LITTLE. Most of my friends are disappointed in me, and I’m ok with that.
I found out my YouTube crash course in Videography was unnecessary, as fuck. He already had equipment and had a whole methodology for it. A simple method,so fucking simple.
He tells me the process and also that i don’t have to do much other than hit record and make sure the guest stay in the frame. And that the only people I should listen to is another Expo Media member.
Pretty Simple right?
MAN. my first celebrity I was recording was Meatloaf. That nigga who sang that song I would do anything for love but i won’t do that, and if that is being a decent human being he died lonely.
OMG JANO HOW COULD YOU TALK ABOUT MEATLOAF?
Spoiler Alert, that nigga was a rude cunt to me and the media team. I legit don’t’ give a fuck who gets upset from reading that. I don’t give a fuck. Being an old white washed up celebrity does not entitle you to be rude and disregard Covid protocols in a pandemic.
Jano, you really are speaking ill of the dead?
Yes, Yes I am because that is what fucking happened.
Anyway fuck him and his carcass. Can’t do shit for love now huh? Man I ain’t said nothing assholic up here in a while. MAN I feel like a whole fuckin Yeet GAWD again.
Anyway on to the rest of the show.
The bulk of my experience there was me hitting record listening to what they had to say in the process and then hitting stop. Besides dealing with the aforementioned bloated gas bag cunt I saw Shawnee Smith who complimented my hair, legit may watch The Saw movies now. Bonnie Aarons from The Nun, Nick Castle,Will Sanden, and John Michael Graham from Halloween. The Scream Panel was huge with Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich. Matthew Lillard is a koolio dude, he took a picture of me while i was recording him.It was interesting in listening to about the life of an actor and how productions they didn’t think were going to be big become iconic pieces for a generation. There were a few other people but I don’t remember who they were and the program I had isn’t available anymore. Plus there was a Miss Mad Monster pageant which was interesting.
Eh oh well.
Anyway to see the few images I did snap when not filming go here.
Time for another time leap into the semi frigid month of November.
I visited them one weekend to catch up since I hadn’t seen them really since May. While we were chatting he told me about an impromptu skateboard competition. Even though I never skated despite peoples assumption about me, I think its pretty kool. The next day came and I went to the abandoned lot of what use to be Eastland Mall.
MAN the concept of time is terrifying. very. I use to go there when I was a kid and now its demolished. But in its ashes a group of skaters found a new home, which is pretty fucking dope. I got there first and my friend did later.
Bruh, on god. That shit was chill. Niggas were just skating with music blasting from a car with a nice system. I smelled drugs as I practiced my spider sense of knowing when to hit the shutter as I heard the skater approach. Shit was WAKA FLOCKA FIYA FLAME.
Did i fully understand the maneuvers of what they were doing?
Fuck no.
Did I enjoy it?
Fuck yea nigga.
The competition wasn’t long, but it was dope as fuck for me and my home boy. He actually got inspired to start skating again. Thats that yeet bro. It is.
I love the simplicity of life sometimes. I do. Legit the day this happened I was going to go see the new Spiderman movie (which at this point is 2 months old, but i’m late because I hadn’t seen Eternals, Shang Chi, and Black Widow yet) with home boy since high school. But he was busy dealing with internet fuckery…CHILD THE FUCKERY.
WHEWWWW!!!
But we had to reschedule which was fine. In the meantime I saw a post that caught my attention. It was a female concert series at Camp North End. I had texted my art journalist friend I met at my art show in June. He actually was well aware of it and I met him out there. Did I plan on doing photography related things ?
No.
But when your ancestors tell you to go somewhere you go. On Kami.
Eventually I found him. i say eventually because there was a slew of construction that had popped up since my last visit in October when I did my last show. Maneuvering in a newly warped space was a thing.
As if.
It was the first time seeing each other since June, we caught up as I told him journeys are weird and turbulent at times but don’t give up. Artist performed in the background and he went to shoot as I went to appease my stomach.
Yay for dumplings. Yay for fucking dumplings.
He asked would I help interview the musical artist,I was down. Literally all i did was have to hit record on his phone. His first guest was Natalie Carr.
Next was Reecee Raps, her soud was dope too. I was bopping to her in the cotton field today. In the midst of us waiting for her to come to his station for an interview, he ran into another friend he knows who is an artist, named BlackSmith Sundays. He introduced us and told me he did the Toonami Beats albums he told me about when we met last June. I legit fan girled out and was like oh shit. I just listened to him the other day. So fucking shway bro. So shway.
I didn’t say shway,but it is tho.
He interviewed them both in aforementioned order i discussed them, not at that exact moment but maybe an hour later.
Shout out to these local artist that make shit i can listen to while on my art journey.
YEET TO THE GAWDZ.
At any rate to see this yeetful images all you have to do is click this word.
And that is it guys. I don’t know why I thought this would be a short blurb of storied, i really forgot how i talk, my random tangents and me talking shit about dead celebrities.
OOPS.
I literally have been typing for damn near 3 hours and my fingers hurt. I don’t know exactly when my next issue will be, I really don’t. I may be back next month with something, I may let things pile up like I usually do and come back for another season, or I may release issues as I do shoots. I have no clue. I will be releasing issues of my book tho, so there is that at least.
In an ideal world I would have clients and the shoots I’ve been trying to do for the past few years would have happened by now. But nope my JRPG Bizarre Art Adventure is forever full of complication.
But I know I need to step back to focus on my book.
And non profit things, like finding a staff, and getting us funded so that I can stop working these bullshit cotton fields. FUCK THEM ALL!!!
In the meantime if you want to get your monthly fill of Jano, The Azure Prince. Feel free to buy my books, somemerchandise,or follow me on my social media channels listed in the side menu.
Until next time Janolytes, whenever that will be.
*Rolls credits on Season 2 of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure
Well here we are in 2022. I won’t be foolish enough to say that this will be my year and neither should you. Let us just hope for the best and brace for the worse. As Spike Spiegel said
“Whatever happens, happens.”
But i’m hoping i don’t loose my shit like I did in the extra trying times of 2021.
Holy fucking fuck of fuckdom, and we lost Betty White. SHIT!!!
Kinda wanna watch Golden Girls now. I’ve seen a few episodes but not enough to say I was a fan. But it was enjoyable. At some point I’ll watch it, some point.
I just jumped down The Witcher 3 hole. I saw my homeboy play it back in 2016, that and Dragon Age Inquisition but i chose the Dragon Age Path. Whenever I finish my book, i’m going to play through all the Dragon Age games thus far. I’m somewhere in 1 right now. At this point I’m hoping I finish my series before Dragon Age 4 comes out.Legit looking forward to playing games with no guilt again. So many games….to beat…so many….
Anyway time for Adventure time C’mon tell a friend.
The chaotic spring of 2021, shortly after me having Covid and in the midst of my car randomly shutting off on me….yea.
My non profit boss, who helped me do the groundwork for my store, decided that she was going to create a new shop.
YEEET.
Crystals, Candles, and all those other witchy related things that make your soul go
YAAAAAAAAS….or maybe that just me. Is it just me? Can’t be. This is a safe witch zone.
Omg Jano are you a witch?
Spoiler Alert.
I’ve been interested since i was fledgling, but I didn’t have money for a witch life style until cotton field 10.
Blessed be. But also fuck that job.
Anyway I told her if she helped me buy a photo light wand, I would help her do her product photography. Surprisingly she bought me a wand and here we are 7 months later. When I held the wand I felt like i was holding a light saber.
Use the Force Jano.
MAN It was so cool, so fucking kool. I yeeted as my meat leaked. I ordered myself another light saber because balance is a thing. When my Covid quarantine was over her and I agreed on the nearest Saturday. I packed my car with my newly acquired light sabers, light studio set, and all my witchy things.
“Ma I’ve been Hussling rocks” as Cam’ron said.
Ya know crystals, incense, sage cauldron, charcoal, and herbs. The basices.I drove to her house and we stopped by Dollar Tree to get a few other things.
And food, niggas need food to properly function in all aspects in life.
I like how my art interest and witchy interest intersected here. In this moment my life was a Venn diagram.
She had a piece of fabric that I used as a backdrop which helped with the mystic mood. I placed the products and props on the table and the light sabers on the adjacent side of the table. I shifted the colors to match the corresponding of each candle.As smoke flowed through each image as the water flows down a stream.
ISSA VIBE!!!
Ain’t that what the kids say?
I used my newly acquired tripod since I didn’t want a repeat of the headshots from last issue. Literally the only thing that moved in these images were the smoke, that it. No such other movement existed.
It was a fun 1-2 hrs for me. Product photography is interesting, at least this was since I am interested in this subject matter.
And that was the end of that. My metaphysical image buzz ended unfortunately as my car shut off on me while on the way home.
UGH.
Side note, I like how my photo journey in my car problems are synonymous for the early part of last year. Not really tho.
Anyway to see the images from this mystic day click here. And if you want things to help you with your occult journey and want to support black owned business, yonder over here.
I’m going to do my hair now, because that is what you do when your love your curls.
I think I reached the point in my bizarre adventure where I am going to start calling ya’ll Jano’s Acolytes or JanoLytes for short.
Yea,I think i like the sound of that…I think.Give me until the next issue and I will know for sure.
This is it, this is the last issue of 202 fucking 1. This year has been arduous for no real reason at all. Just so abusive, almost as abusive as Big Mom on One piece. On kami, she still terrifies me. That bitch was killing her own children because she was hungry, countries wrecked because she had a sweet tooth…NIIGGAAAAAA!! But I finished the Big Mom Arc and just finished JuJutsu Kaisen less than an hour ago. Definitly late to the party on that, but i liked it.
Side Note, I legit don’t want to see anymore animes with the 3 man team format like Naruto. *side eye.
All anime tangents aside I blame all the retrogrades for the this year, I do. That is my ninja way…well ninja witch way.
Despite the turbulence I somehow got my book in a store, created my online boutique (I got earrings now bitches), and finally got to the final level of my comic series. YAAAAAAASSS Final arc time.
*Geek masturbation time.
Nice to know came out of the fire and flames with new Stands forged.
Oh Jano, was that a Jojo reference?
Why yes, yes it was.
Legit hoping next year I will make more progress in terms of completion of my book, and reaching those level 2 products i wan to make.
Jano,Wait what?
Huh? Time for Adventure time come on tell a friend.
This story started back in 2013 on Tate Street near UNCG.
Really? Like really fucking really? You have to start at the beginning, way back, back in time.
Yes, actually no. This story started back in 2008 when I was poking random girls on Facebook for no real reason. No there was a reason, i was socially awkward and had time between class. I poked someone and her and I became friends. At some point I met another dude through her and him and I became friends.
Actually this dude is how the Luke Cage saga occurred. Damn its wild what friendship were born because I poked someone on Facebook. Simple Times. Simple fucking times.
See Janolytes this is why history is important, especially for the sake how these shoots occured. Context Motha Fucka’s, Context.
Back to this saga.
So aforementioned homeboy had a Bday party and her and I met. Fast Foward to December 2020, yep last year. She asked me how much I charge for photo shoots and i told her. She told me about an idea she had for a birthday shoot she wanted to do and of course i’m down, esp if I’m getting paid.
Y’all getting paid for a skill you have is a great thing. You can do things like eat, buy stuff to make your heart happy, or use it to fix your car….something that happened allot this year….so fucking much.
*Deep sigh.
We both decided that we will do it in 2021 because 1.I had a super slave amazon holiday schedule and 2. her schedule and she wanted to drop the Covid Lockdown 15. Which i fully get. I think i gained more than 15 last year, but I’m pretty sure i sweated it out in Jeff Bezos Slave pit.
Spoiler Alert, this is a pretty non dramatic issue. It may seem like its a Game of Thrones Saga, but nope. Not at all.
Spring came along and we started to plan possible dates. We decided on the last weekend of April. I had scouted the area where i could shoot her downtown. Initially she had said Raleigh or Greensboro, but in the end we chose here in Charlotte. Which was probably for the best considering at this point my car was acting so erratic.
Terrifyingly Erratic.
I found a location, emailed her a picture collage of the area I was going to shoot her and she was excited about the potential. The weekend came and she let me know when she left Greensboro. I started to get ready and eventually headed to the location. The most dramatic part of this arc was the parking situation. Her Gps sent her to a different location. At some point her and I found each other and we walked to the location, which wasn’t far. This was our first time seeing each other since…..Summer 2015.
Man being an adult sucks, you go years without seeing your friends because of Sponsibilites. I feel your pain Angelica Pickles, I feel it.
Anyway, my home girl had a spectacular scarlet ensemble. YAAAAAAS. Spectators complimented her as we walked around.We covered a good amount of the area in an hour. When it was all said and done I walked her to her car, and she drove me back to my car. We talked about possibly doing other shoots, art journeys, college experiences and natural hair products.
And that’s all folks.
I told ya it was a pretty chill saga….well minus when I tried to upload the pictures to dropbox when i was done with the edits. Why was dropbox being a cunt? i don’t know.
Anyway to see the images from this literal Walk in a downtown park (or uptown park, whatever) click here.
With that being said this wraps up the issues for 2021 of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventures. I still have a few more stories from this year, but they will have to wait until next year.
Because monthly tradition is important.
AYO, these essential oils are starting to take affect. I’ll see you Janolytes next year. Safe to say I have decided on dubbing you all Janolytes. I feel like i need to make a shirt of that now. I do.
Shit, I just woke up and the original intro I had for this issue is a blank to me now.
FUCK, I had a clear monologue prepared from picking cotton today and now its a blur.
Eh, oh well.
*Boyz II Men End of the Road plays in the background. No Literally its playing, Spoiler Alert.
Guys, this is it…Kinda.
Its finally happened, I’ve caught up with all the photoshoots I’ve done since I began this journey since July 2016. Kinda.
Jano, explain all these kindas.
When I started when this photography part of my art journey, the whole point was to gain experience working with models because for the bulk of my life has been me doing events, What ensued the summer of 2016 was a myriad of quests of trying to capture ideas with the lens of my camera. There are a few side quest I am still pursing, but for right now I am all caught up with all my adventures.
I do have images from doing a workshop for the nonprofit organization Back To Black, and from my New Years Florida vacation but those are just events to me. Not to say that I won’t do events any more but 1. they don’t feel essential to my art quest, and 2. at this point right now they feel like filler episodes. And personally I am not a fan of filler episodes, I will not be like Naruto.
No Ma’am.
I rather be like Attack on Titan, Seven Deadly Sins, Fairy Tail, and My Hero Academia and have off seasons and come back when I have something significant.
From this point on the monthly issue format you have gotten accustomed to will dissipate into the ether, and I will be updating this site on a more random sporadic basis. It’ll be ironic that even after I make this issue that I still have monthly issues.
In the meantime, I’ll be focusing on coloring my comic series. I had this bad habit in recent months of saying I would get my issue out at the beginning of the month so that I could get it out the way. But obviously there were times I wouldn’t and my foolish mindset was to focus only on that and nothing else would get done since that was the only thing I was focused on.
Smh at my damn self and my raggedy thought process.
Also with that being said I’m not accepting any commissions of any sorts, not that I had an influx of orders or anything.
I’ll still be updating my social media channels (see side navigation) with images every month from previous adventures, and if you don’t follow me on anything then subscribe via email (see side navigation) to be notified when the updates occur.
Stay woke.
In the meantime check out this issue, to help me fundraise for my comic quest.
For now guys that’s it, see ya’ll again hopefully…..maybe…….
First and fucking foremost, I am legit upset that I didn’t get superpowers from this spider bite on my leg. The only thing I got is 1. immense fragging pain 2. probably a huge bill for going to the Emergency Room for the first time in years, and 3. I didn’t get to wear my Vegeta costume that I ordered for Halloween last year, but didn’t arrive until after aforementioned Holiday because I was passed out in pain. NO NIGGA WE AIN’T YEETING HERE.
Maybe later in this issue but at this current point, nope this is a yeet free zone.
Anyway.
So for those who have not been paying attention on any of my social media channels and never clicked on my about me page. The picture above is of me, and I just did my first art show. I know right I am a pretty dude, and thank youuuuuu.
The lead up to this was legit unexpected but deeply appreciated it.
Side note, to avoid the excessive use of pronouns I will be referring to some people by their IG names.
So September day whilst I was picking cotton, well making sure the cotton was up to par before it got sent out to random cunts who I’ll probably never meet. One of the field slaves I shuck and jive with, PurpleKloudz, randomly started talking, ya know about anime, art, dreams to be chased and nigga shit. He was telling me how one of his goals was to be in an art show before the year is over, I was like yooooo go ahead and follow your dreams. As the convo went on,I found out it was an anime and art show that he was going to be in.
Hold up, I like anime and I’m an artist. The voices of my ancestors told me I needed to be part of this. Spoiler Alert, When the voices of your ancestors speak you listen, always.
I asked him for more details and how I could be a part of it, he said he would talk to our other slave we shuck and jive with for the scraps master give us, JohnnyLovely.
Look I get it, I am laying it on thick with the slave cotton field references, but I legit work in a plantation that contains majority cotton so I am allowed to say these things. Hella allowed, especially since this is my damn site.
Anyway.
So at some point after a day of picking cotton, me and both of the aforementioned fellow slaves had a nerd gathering in the parking lot. Thats where it went down. YEET YEET.
JohnnyLovely told me about how this is the second anime and art show that his friend was having. I asked could I show any of my pieces, and he was like ummmm idk. Fuck it, I’ll try anyway and I did. He gave me the information of the person who was orchestrating the event. I sent him the links to all of my galleries, ALL of my galleries. Need a reminder, no problem. Starting from oldest to the most recent we have Miasmic Emancipation, Velvet Sweaters,Numinously Noir, Emerald Evisceration and oh yeah my house party invites just for good measure.
And he said I was in. YEET YEET NIGGA. Actually Yeet didn’t really do justice for how excited I was, especially when you hear people saying you shouldn’t draw the things you draw. Well fuck you naysayers, especially those I am genetically linked to.
The next step was to choose which images I wanted to display. Eventually I chose the 3 below.
Yep that last one was def chosen. Not gonna lie the process was hard. When it was all said and done,I hit up one of my friends I use to pick cotton with at another field a few years ago. I asked him would he mind printing out my images for the show, and he said sure. It was going good but due to the amount of colors I use in my drawings, I kinda killed his blue printhead. Yea, I wasn’t expecting that. So for images 2 and 3, I had to go to Office Max to get those printed out. Pretty sure they were confused and concerned about what I had them make.
As if I give a fuck, Spoiler Alert I don’t.
I got my frames and bam, I was all set.Since I finally got my images printed and frame I could actually start posting ads for it on social media. The last thing I wanted to do was post I was going to be in an art show and not have my stuff ready. The day before I met with the organizer of the show, and briefly dropped off the above pieces along with some small ones I had made when I did the pop art show in 2017. I got home, did my hair because my hair was an arid dry mess, and passed the fuck out.
The day of the show came, and I wish I requested off. I was excited, legit excited as fuck. Me and my girl left the cotton field, grabbed food from Chick Fil A, and went back to my place. I changed first then she did. Joy is when you get to wear a shirt you ordered a month ago for the first time at a kool event that you are in.While she did I meditated, because sometimes you got to do that before something major in your life is about to happen. On the way there I legit was trying to find a song to amp me, this is the bad thing about primary listening to somber music. I did find some pleasure in Rapsody’s Nina and Cleo and J.Cole’s Middle Child. In hindsight I wish I remembered Awerooh’s- Its My turn now, that was my shit, 3 years ago when I was developing my website.
Eh, maybe next time.
We got to Camp North End, did a brief photoshoot before we headed to the event. Yo, real shit I am legit awkward in front of a camera, I am. Yea I take selfies but full body poses aren’t a thing I’m use to doing, even though I tell others what to do when I am behind the lens. The event didn’t start until 7, but I wanted to be there to see the set up process and place flyers for my site, and a copy of my book series for people to view.
The night flew by after that honestly. Lush Lofi flowed in the background,feeling as if I was in an episode of Samurai Champloo. Her and I walked around for a while at some point we saw our fellow slaves who were also having their art exhibited, the one’s told me about the show. As the night went on, I was both the subject and the usual detached observer while I took photos of the event. Its a weird feeling since I am never am the subject of an event.
I promise sometimes I feel like I am the unborn child of Samantha White and Lionel Higgins from Dear White People.
Our other slave friends showed up, and we were all like AWWW SHIT NIGGA. She helped get people to look at book, Yaaaaaaas honey Yaaaaaaas. In case anyone hasn’t noticed I’m shy as shit, so her amping me up defiantly helped my spirit. My friend who printed one of my images came with his wife and daughter, and at some point the 5 of us walked around. Eventually we doubled back to the event and they head out.
Another slave showed up, who I met in an odd way. Well not really odd considered the digital word we live in. We work at the same place, but our first interaction was when she liked a post I did of me starting a book on AfroFuturism by YTasha L. Womack.
I still need to finish that book.
At the time I didn’t know who she was, until one day at work I was stopped and she was like I think I liked your post. Oh shit, wasn’t ready. The convo couldn’t last long because if masta see’s us lil field niggas not picking his cotton we gets in bigs trouble, and we don’t wants no trouble.
But Jano, how is this relevant to the story?
I’m about to get to that, impatient ass.
She showed up with her daughter, and she was thoroughly impressed with the pieces that me and our fellow field slaves had to put up. From the perspective that we had worked hard to create something, and going to the extra effort of making our work being seen to the public something that some people hesitate to do. The fact that the artist space was primarily created by and for black artist thrilled her more. Thrilled her to the point that she felt inspired to do something similar and create an AfroFuturism con here in Charlotte.
Now you get the relevance.
Oh shit, that would be awesome. I’ve been hoping to do shows especially black themed sci fi art shows, it would be an added bonus if there was one here in Charlotte. Hopefully this will manifest into something flourishes, heavily.
The night trickled on, at some point there was a group photo taken of me and the other artist. Still awkward as hell for me to pose, so fucking awkward. After that me and some of the people I pick cotton with went on to go play Cards Against Humanity. I bounced back to the event to get my prints, at some point the dude who organized all this said there would be another one in March. Nigga I’m so down.
And thats it. I was talking with JohnnyLovely a few times before the day of the show. At some point he said a black art renaissance is heading towards Charlotte, and after this I can see it happening. Another conversation, I made reference to Dear White People, how after the Black Face Party there were a series of events that occurred after and it affected everyone differently. My ancestors say that both of our feelings are accurate. Was this event an adequate save point and it will propel me into another direction that will benefit me greatly or will I stagnate and float on in a void of despair?
Spoiler Alert, either result will be chronicled here as usual.
Hopefully this clearing will lead to an oasis that splinters many paths of abundance. In the meantime to see photos from the even go here.
Pretty sure this was a big save point in my art journey. Speaking of save points I’m gonna resume from the one in Final Fantasy 7 and hopefully beat it before the year is over. Also next issue we will go back to the regular flowing timeline. This was an omg I need to talk about it now so my spirit can go back to chill mode, and I have.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
FUUUUCK!!!!!
*deep breath
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
Riiiiight.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
Yay.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
Again.
UGH,
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
YAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
FUCK.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
*deep breath
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed. Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival. Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.
And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.
YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice
Anyway.
This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.
Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.
So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.
In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life. Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.
I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.
I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.
Nigga what?
You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.
Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.
This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.
Typical.
Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.
Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid,a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.
Anyway.
I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.
Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.
Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies. We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.
For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.
But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?
Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose. At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house. Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera. Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.
None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.
But Jano why don’t you decorate?
Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.
I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.
Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.
I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.
But Jano, didn’t you practice?
Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.
Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem
We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her. The ironic part is that for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.
As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras. Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did. Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.
Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.
Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.
But for right now I am going to wash my hair.
Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.
Damn its February already, fuck thats wild. But this polar vortex is even wilder, FUCK its so fucking cold when I leave my house to go pick cotton before the freaking sun is up. Its 2019 and I’ve never heard of a polar vortex ever in my life prior to this week. Is this the end of everything??? If it is I hope I get my X-Men Vs Street Fighter game first, it still hasn’t arrived since last issue. GRRRSSSH.
Anyway.
I type this as I breath in Lavender and Peppermint mist from my diffuser, hopefully it will calm me down as I type this.
But Jano Why?
Because 2018 was a fucking existential photographic nightmare. Thats right, as of this issue we are now in 2018 and will be for only 5 issues after this issue. I had so many photographic aspirations and goals last years that went unfulfilled. And here I was thinking that it would be simpler than the concepts I tried to pursue in 2017. Definitely found out there are deeper levels to feeling like trash. But we will get to that later.
As for right now we are gonna flashback to January 2018. My actress homegirl friend England Simpson, wanted to do another birthday photoshoot with her sister like we did in 2017. Her and her sister share the same birthday as Edgar Allen Poe, yes the Edgar Allen Poe. I don’t know why I felt the need to say the Edgar Allen Poe like there is more than one. Fuck its 2019 and I’m going for dramatic effect for no reason. Anyway after our initial convo I started thinking of places where we could shoot at. The first place I thought of was McGill Rose Garden, figured it would be a nice ambiance.
Well it would have been. The original day we were going to do it England was on her deathbed (not really) and since I don’t like the idea of shooting someone when they are not feeling good we postponed it. The new shoot day became that Monday on Martin Luther King Jr Day, but we found out that the rose garden was closed on Mondays.
FUUUUUCK.
Spoiler Alert, I wasn’t that upset.
I scrolled my brain for possible new places and I remembered Stone Jackson Military School. My spirit was hit with so much joy.
But Jano why?
Stone Jackson Military School is an abandoned school with a mass amount of empty buildings. And I legit have been wanting to do an abandoned shoot for the longest period in my life. Well more so since I got serious about my photography journey in 2016. I had scouted it back in the summer of 2017, I had only drove by it though. But the campus is huge, impressive as fuck, and filled with so much potential.
That Monday came, the girls met at my house on the frigid fucking morning and we headed toward the campus. In retrospect there may have been a polar vortex that day too, cuz NIGGA it was cold. Oppressively and disrespectfully cold. England had told me on the drive up there that she was excited because she had viewed it online and saw some of the photos others had shot there. We were all filled with high hopes and magical negro joy.
Right about that.
We got there and all the buildings were fenced up, not regular fences but Jurassic Park style fences. Nigga is there a T-Rex here?
Oh nigga I was upset, when I drove by this place a few months prior these fences weren’t in existence. Well they were in existence but not there. Since the vibe from this place was forbidden as fuck, I parked at a store strip mall down the street from the school and we walked to the school.
Did I say it was cold as fuck? No well it was cold as fuck.
It only took a few minutes to get to campus from where I parked. We had to make sure not to step and slip on freshly frozen patches, the last thing was 3 negroes seen busting their asses on forbidden property. We looked around trying to see if there was any place we could sneak in a building.
*sigh*
Everything was boarded up and if it wasn’t boarded it was enclosed by fences that might as well be electric. At some point an old black man drove by and gave us a warning about us being on the property. At first we thought he was gonna be an informant and the cops would pull up and arrest us shortly after. But in retrospect he probably was just looking out for us so we wouldn’t be a new statistic of cop racism.
Despite his warning we stayed on campus a little while longer trying to make the best out of a blarghed scenario. The whole gated ambiance legit killed my mood, worse than an anime death scene I’ve seen. Shit was worse than seeing Neji die. At some point we saw a gated building that had a hole in it, so England and I decided that we were gonna sneak in to get some shots while her sister decided to watch out. We literally just got in the gate and she told us that she heard a car, we bolted out of the enclosure ASAP. England escaped with no problems, me not so much. My coat got snagged as did my jeans, HARD. Cotton oozed from my goat and my thigh to my shin was exposed.
NIGGA!!!
That frigid weather is way worse when your body is exposed. I felt the wind fill my pants and tickle my balls. My whole ball sack and butt hole was frozen.
Spoiler Alert it is not a pleasant feeling, no such feelings existed for me that day. GOD DAMN IT my balls were cold.
We stayed a little bit longer to get some more shots of what we could so this trip wouldn’t be a total waste, but at some point our collective negro spider senses said we should leave to avoid police confrontation. The last thing I wanted was to have icicles growing out my asshole while dealing with a problematic racist cop while pursing my dreams.
We left, arrived back at my house, and as they chose their photos I changed pants and reclaimed the heat that I had been deprived of for the past 2 hours. The shoot was ok, minus that and everything being fucking gated as fuck. Maybe one day I’ll get to shoot an abandoned building without fear of prosecution. Martin Luther King Jr died for the right to purse my art dreams.
Anyway to view some of the photos from the day my nuts became surrounded by ice click here.
Anyway as Bugs Bunny says Thats All Folks, for this issue at least. Hopefully by the next issue I will have gotten my damn X-Men Vs Street Fighter game, beaten Final Fantasy 7, went to Anderson Paaks Concert, and somehow managed to finish coloring as issue of my comic series. Yo real shit I miss being unemployed like I was in 2016 – early 2017, I could stay up all night and work on my art all night. I just wanna color damn it.
Hail to the Guardian of the Watch Tower. Sun, Moon, Star, North, South, East and West. Help me find time and give me the strength to color the rest of my comic series Azure Ascendance. Help me get it to where it is on Netflix and never have work these jobs I care nothing for ever again. And that I do the photoshoots that I didn’t get to last year.
Yo On God my nigga, I hate summer rain forecast. How am I supposed to accurately plot out my life if it says it is going to rain, but yet it is as dry as all the old cum in my belly button. Now Summer Rain By Carl Thomas is playing in my head, great because I don’t have enough over emotional ass songs playing in my head.
Anyway.
Remember when I said I did 3 photoshoots last April, well this is the final one. AWWW the simple times of picking a location, asking someone to model for you, then shooting them on a set date. MAN, what a time to be alive.
But Jano what do you mean?
You’ll see in upcoming issues. Holy Fuck you will see.
Anyway.
Back in the cunt bag year of 2016 in August when I was unemployed and foolishly trying to get a stable job as a web designer.
I went to a crash course coding networking event for the now defunct as fuck Iron Yard. It was in Uptown/ Downtown Charlotte in this building called Packard Place.While I was waiting for this event aka waste of my time to start, I stared out the window and saw Romare Bearden Park. I started thinking it would be fun to do a shoot there.
Fast Forward to March 2017.
Two of my friends from college decided to visit me. At some point when they were having a conversation which I could contribute nothing to, so I started scrolling on Instagram.
Jano, that is so rude.
Fuck off, ya’ll do it too.
Anyway, I was scrolling and saw a photo from one of my former slave coworkers from the plantation, IKEA. At some point I decided to ask if she would model for me, she said yea, and I internally while externally went YAAAAS.
I promise ON GOD, ON GOD MY NIGGA, this is the last time that a model search will be this fucking easy for me. I legit just face palmed.
Anyway.
Even though me and her worked together at that cunt customer cotton field for 3 years, I legit didn’t know anything about her or fashion sense. Real shit majority of the time I saw her I talked shit to her. But not hardcore shit that would make someone do a Hannah Baker, but like soft core shit that you could put on a ice cream cone and serve up with a smile.
I just threw up in my mouth a little with that analogy.
We met up so I could browse her closet and we picked an outfit each, picked a date, and caught up about life after. The next day I went to downtown to plan a route for how I wanted this shoot to go. Because ya know its important to storyboard mentally how you want events to go that you are planning. At least in my world.
Alicia Keys so simple is so playing in my head right now.
The day came and I was one of the few who realized that drinking and driving isn’t a good thing and spent the night at a friends house after a bday party. Safety First. Fast Forward through slow service at Midnight Diner, Goodbyes, college buddy group photos, and me going home to showering (because ya know hygiene is key), it was shoot time.
She had never modeled before and I was like girl you’ll be fine.
And she was, Legitly.
She had a lot of excitement and I didn’t regret my choice. She channeled her Americas Next Top Model as she got comfortable being in front of the camera. I almost felt bad for all the soft serve shit I gave her in the cotton field. Almost.
Everything for the next few hours were Kool….. except when my nuts met a guard rail. HOLY FUCK OF FUCKING FUCKED CUNTS, FUCKING JOB HAZARDS. She told me to shhh my yelling because a child was near by. NIGGA FUCK THAT CHILD!!. My tender freshly clean nuts just got more tenderized by this fucking metal guard rail. NIGGA!!!!
Spoiler Alert, if we do a shoot and I get hurt in an extreme way I will yell. No fucks shall be given about the opinions and ear drums of the surrounding people. None, no such fucks shall exist.
Anyway to see the by product of this blissfully planned day go here.
In case ya’ll have been wondering why I keep emphasizing how easy things went is because the next four photoshoots I talk about were arduous as when Vegeta was trying to become a Super Saiyan. Didn’t get that anime reference? Fine, it was like trying to avoid spoilers on the internet when you haven’t seen an episode or movie yet. Actually I rather try to avoid spoilers then deal with the fuckery I dealt with last summer.
Ironically enough despite planning it is happening again this year.
Spoiler Alert, the next few issues will be full of shade, sarcasm and salt. So much Salt that you would think I was gonna put Mortons Salt out of business.
The moment you realize that your Art Journey is similar to a Role Playing Game.
Dear Janolytes,
Dear Friends of Jano,