Fuck, I don’t even know how to start this issue. Although technically I did just start it with a nice medium size fuck.
You know what else is fun? The fact that I’ve been checking my website stats and people are actually coming to my website on a more frequent basis. I’m impressed because no one was coming here for a while when this first started. Are people actually reading the lengthy thesis level issues I present on a monthly basis? I have no idea, but you’ve been logged in the record book either way niggaaaaaa.
So Spoiler Alert, this isn’t going to be your standard issue of me recalling a photoshoot. Honestly at this point in my life I am too exhausted for it right now.
Despite the fact that the next few issues are pretty straight forward and simple. Probably because they aren’t my ideas and don’t involve the chaos of me trying to find a model, a location, etc, etc, et fuckin cera.
Yay, I guess.
But right now I am legit not in the mood for a flashback of Jano Bizarre JRPG Adventure….and I may not be for a month, or two…or more…..
I type this as I listen to Minthaze latest album which matches my somber mood as of late.
OMG Jano are you ok?
Eh, its a litany of things honestly.
Hey Google play H.E.R. I’m not ok. If this was Myspace i would totally have that song embedded on this issue. Simpler times…kinda.
I’m not sure why September sucks for me, but it does. Every year for no apparent reason, maybe it is some form of seasonal affective disorder. You may think I say this in jest, but I’m not. Like clockwork when September arrives my spirit withers for the bulk of the month, even if there is no type of dramatic saga occuring.
However this year it is coupled with a few things.
My Car still isn’t working sadly. I finally took it to the shop and I’m hoping next week ends me having to depend on lyft drivers and using my girlfriends car. At this point in my life I just wanna do hoodrat shit with my friends while surviving a pandemic and racism. That feels like a facebook status, but right now I think I am about to be in recluse mode and disappear off the internet for a while. But this saga has persisted for the last 6 months and I just want it to end.
Essentially I have been grounded and as such I’ve tried to make the best of my time. And with that I have been doing entirely too fucking much in hopes to get my art in these streets. Particularly in the streets of Atlanta, New York City and California via bookstores.
Thats the goal at least. I already have it in one here in Charlotte, but that isn’t good enough for me. I think going to New York City really changed my perspective on somethings. At some point I want to have a book signing event, but I’m still currently making merchandise to ideally sell.
Thats right, lil ol Jano is crafting up in these streets. Ideally before October ends there will at least be a store front. I say ideally because I wanted all this shit done over the fucking summer. But when you combine a Jeff Bezos cottonfield that doesn’t provide many hours nor chances to pick up extra shifts and a car problem that isn’t properly diagnosed, and other things that i can’t put in quick quip phrases. It makes any plans that involve cash rather difficult to fulfill.
So there is that as well.
On top of that I found out I have another art show in a month, which i need to make 2 new pieces for which isn’t so bad. However, I really want to finish coloring issue 13 and do the final touches on act 3 of my comic series. Sadly that may be the last full issue I finish this year.Maybe i can get through issue 14, maybe. The current cottonfield I’m in is busy until Halloween and after that everything tapers off. The real question is will I get kept afterwards and then how long. If i could be unemployed for a few months to work on my book that would be great, but things cost fucking money and its upsetting. Here’s hoping things work out on the art front of life and everything else follows suit.
In midst of all this I found out a friend from college passed away from cancer, adding fuel to the existential fire. Contemplation of how at some points we will either be mourning the lost of friends over the years or we will be the one who is being mourned.
The concept of time is absolutely terrifying. As is how eventually we drift apart from each other after we leave a space, and eventually get caught up in the space of our new lives to the point where we rarely reach out to those we no longer share a space with. That sentence was probably a run on but you. caught what I was pitching.
It hurts….at least for me. I miss my friends as I navigate this trail of trials.
I realized in the 4 years I’ve had this site this is the most vulnerable I’ve been.
Sometimes vulnerability is needed tho. Especially when it comes to breaking a pattern I have established over the bulk of the past four years. Right now I’m not in the space to recall a saga with all the plates I need to prepare for consumption as well. Maybe I’ll be gone til November…maybe by then I’ll be back to just working on my book and an issue a month.
In non somber news, I just finished Dear White People today. I legit loved that show. I was hoping to be finished with my comic before it was over, that and Insecure. However it does not appear to be the case. Ugh I just got somber and existential again.
As long as I finish before One Piece ends. That is still doable…I think.
Side note, if you want to help me get out of these bullshit seasonal cottonfields, while wanting to help have a meaningful job that helps the community and care about the black community. You should donate to Back to Black, the organization I help out with when not wandering through the art fields.
Was that a shameless promotion to help me the non profit work with to get funded faster so that I can have real job?
Do I give a shit how tactless that was?
At least it wasn’t as tasteless as a youtube ad.
FUCK, i just remember another Mercury Retrograde is on the way.
Man I actually worked a full summer, that hasn’t happened in years. Def not a fan, even though I did get to do fun things this summer. The price of freedom yields monetary gain for joy. Yay Capitalism…. I suppose.
This another entry in the existential Infinity stone saga that started in the wee early days of 2017. For those keeping up this would be the fourth stone of the arc, 2 more and I’ll have a full set.
Side note, As I type this I am still in search of those two stones. As long as it has taken to get to this point I hope that they are worth it.
MAN, on god nigga, on GOD my nigga this concept was pretty simplistic, it was. But for some reason it took a year and four months to achieve it.
Who remembers that one part of the mermaid saga when I said I went to go scout Midtown Park for a possible shoot location? Well I am piggy backing off that for this issue. When 2018 started I remembered that location on that aggravating as fuck day. Couple that and the random images I see on the internet from Instagram and Pintrest, an idea gestated in my mind. I decide to do a 90’s era photoshoot.
But Jano that sounds like it would be simple to pull off. Why did it take so long?
Have ya’ll not been paying attention to my life? How often are any of my ideas simple? Exactly. I promise this art journey comes with more side quest than most modern video games. I should have hella trophies unlocked now. Fuck I should have bonus points for cussing anyone out. Wait would I get a trophy for actually loosing my cool? I might go for a trophy next time I get hit with some 1080 HD 4k fuckery.
I was scrolling through my IG timeline and thought to ask this girl I follow and models, who I thought would do it. I had asked her to model for me in 2017, but I didn’t really have an idea in mind unlike this time. I approached her with the idea and the time frame I wanted to do it, Ie when it wasn’t cold as fuck. She was down for it.
I wasn’t saying Yeet last year, but I am now, So fuck it. Time travels is a fluid concept.
Eventually I bought an Old school 90’s boombox, ya know the type you would see on TV. The type you can carry on your shoulder and disturb all the peace, but be harmonious to yourself and those who appreciate the genre of music you like. I found some old blank cassette tapes I had in my room from when I use to actually listen to the radio, and record music off.
MAN the nostalgia of simple times, take a nigga back. Not gonna lie tho Spotify is def the best, especially since I can’t stand what is on the radio nowadays.
At this point we are in Mid March. I emailed her asking what songs would she want on the mixtape. I like going for a full effect of what the fuck I am trying to shoot if I can.
Ya’ll bitches be the worse. They do, the absolute fucking worse.
I would email her, and assuming that not everyone checks their mail all the time (even though our initial conversation about what I was trying to achieve with this shoot was via email and she replied, but whatever) I would message her asking if she got my email as a prompt for her to check it. Bitch would leave me left on read, but on god would like all my memes. All of em.
At some point when I attempted to communicate with her, she did reply saying that she hadn’t checked her email. I took a screenshot of the msg and sent it to her via IG DM’s….and still no reply.
Just absolute fuck it.
Ya’ll think this is bad, wait til we get the last 2 stones. Oh boy those are true anime arcs, long as fuck. Filled with Daunting moments of existentialism.
Timeline wise we are near the nigger heat summer of 2018. I got laid off from my job, so I was free as fuck. Figured I’d make the best of my time the best I can. It was upsetting because on the photography part of the art journey, you can’t do a photoshoot without a model. And unlike the mermaid saga and the candy queen arc, this wasn’t a difficult concept.
Summer came and I would fill my days of being laid off of going to restaurants, of stuffing my face, working on acts 3 and 4 of my book, while using their wifi to play hours of music on Spotify. At various points I would have random text conversations with friends.
One friend in particular, I was telling her about the aforementioned events. And she said she would do it. Awe struck I was, especially since she told me can’t be out in the sun for too long. Truthfully I had thought about asking her, but there was reasons I didn’t. Mainly because us hanging out is always difficult, typically the days we have attempted to hang out something always happened. At this point in time, we had only seen each other 2 times….
…and we had known each other for a few years. I know adult friendships are hard but this was final level boss hard.
I knew better, but hoped for the best.
Unfortunately the same patterns repeated themselves. The days when we had made plans to meet up to pick the songs for the mixtape, something drastic came up on her end. And at some point I stopped hearing from her for a while, found out who later on why which has no bearing on the rest of this issue.
Again this project was dead in the water. I kept searching, and eyeballing people of who I would want to do this. Eventually I started working a new job in October and 2018 ended and 2019 arrived.
Now we are getting to the climax of this story.
At some point in the cotton field I became cool with one of the fellow slaves. Due to the weekend shift being dissolved, her and a few others were now part of my shift. As time went on I noticed she had a 90s aesthetic. I figured maybe I should ask and see would she model for me.
So one February day in the cotton field I asked.
She seemed squeamish to the idea, but gave me her email anyway so I could give her all the details of what I am trying to do for the project. She told me she would give it some thought, I was like Koolio beanzo.
However, *deep sigh*
Her started to get complicated for various reasons which I don’t feel like typing. But emotionally she was starting to go through it. The tiny part of me that is humane thought it would be in bad taste to ask her about it.
I promise this could have been so simple, but was like Nah Nigga.
Anyway, One week I saw an art event on Facebook about Art, Beer and Chicken. And this nigga likes chicken and art.
Friday came, and I made an effort to stay awake post cotton field. If I passed out like I usually do I would have not made there at all. I got there and legit didn’t plan on seeing anyone I know at all. I didn’t. Social skills was not a thing I was planning on using that night.
Ironically enough I did.
At some point I went to the restroom, came back and while I was waiting in line there was a girl ahead of me in line. I recognized the green hair and the pointy cat ear frames, internally I was like I think thats a person I follow online. And it was.
You know how you what if scenarios play in your head? Well sometimes I have ones where I’m out and someone who follows me online sees me and they go OMG you are so kool, nice to meet you, you are hilarious as fuck. Well thats what happened.
We catch eyes and she starts talking to me, and me being the awkward, tired person I am finds myself in a scenario I legit never thought was gonna happen especially since I didn’t think I would run into anyone that night. Oh irony. We talk for a few mins, goes off to grab some food and thats it for our interaction for the night. I see her with 2 other people, but don’t go over to them because I legit didn’t wanna be a odd as fuck spare wheel who is socially awkward. At some point I leave to go home and pass out, but before I do send her a message sorry if I came off awkward as fuck. She said it was kool, she thought she was awkward and I was like nah you were ok.
Awww tender moments.
Ironically enough, I ran into her the next day at Abari’s block party and it was like we were friends from 10 years ago. It was me, her, the two guys I saw her with last night and my homegirl. It was a pretty chill day. At some point I started to think maybe she would model for me.
The following week I asked my aforementioned coworker when did she want to work on her mixtape. Man the apprehension and nervous on her face was all the answer I needed, and after a discourse she told me my least favorite words when it comes to a photoshoot.
I’ll let you know.
Essentially those words are nails in a coffin for me, because no one ever lets me know shit. Spoiler Alert, its several months later and I still have not been let known anything. I decide to message my recent internet friend to real life friend, and she said would totally be down.
HOLY FUCK, THE YEEET I FELT DEEP IN MY HEART. The ball started rolling finally. Something that should have happened last fucking spring finally was happening.
We started an email correspondence, of what songs she would want on the mixtapes, when each of us would be free, and what not. Her playlist was crack on a stick. I somehow downloaded all the songs from Spotify using some program, and the transferred them to a cassette tape.
The transfer didn’t go as smooth as I had planned. First I had to order a new flash drive because my kool Transformer Ravage one fragged out on me. Even after that I didn’t get the order of the songs arranged like I thought. And for some reason the last 30 secs to minute of the song would abruptly cut off, which was really fucking odd considering the songs were downloaded in full.
Odd, but not odd enough for me to sweat it. We chose Easter Sunday to do the shoot. As excited as I was, I was also nervous as fuck. To be honest I was nervous that it would be a repeat event of Incandescent Spirits, where I had acted like I never held a camera before Plus this was the first photoshoot Ive done since August 2018.That was humiliating for me and I didn’t want that to occur again. At any costs. As usual I spent the day mentally preparing how I wanted this to go down. I had recently scouted the area again, since the last time I was there was August 2017.
She and her boyfriend arrived, which was kool because he helped carry some of the things that were brought. Oh I forgot to mention, she had never modeled before which really didn’t matter because she did a great job. She had made a comment how she hated how she looks in photos, and then I showed her and she was like well damn.
Not to be cocky, but thats usually the reaction when I show people photos of them. Nice how I make people believe in themselves….even though I am a legit asshole.
As the shoot went on we laughed each time a song ended abruptly, not gonna lie it was hilarious and annoying when it was a song we all really liked. At some point we called it quits for various reasons. She was exhausted from her job which I totally understood, and there was a still a good amount of the park to shoot. Plus there were other areas we had to skip over because people were shooting there already. And she wanted to do her make up better than she had for today. We ended it for the day, and did the 2nd half a week later.
MAAAAN Listen. She came out her car looking like Rachel True from The Craft and I won’t mad at it. At all. We did the rest of the park with no problems.
Wait, no there was a problem. So at some point this random old white man, who we presumed was homeless and drunk. Decided to piss in the area where we are shooting.
NIGGA!, There is a whole park for you to piss in and you chose the area where we are. Smells like racism and expired Budweiser. Cunt.
And after that I fulfilled my promise of feeding her when it was over. She originally wanted to go this sushi restaurant, but at some point we were talking about how I went to this Ecuadorian restaurant that my friend took me to while I was in Raleigh J.Cole’s Dreamville festival which led us to Viva Chicken. OMG blessed be Viva Chicken and the purple and yellow sauce.
YEET NIGGA YEET.
Also Dreamville Festival is where I heard the word Yeet. It was during J.Cole’s performance, and at some point after he performed Middle Child this white girl yelled it and it has been part of lexicon ever since. Damn White girls.
Anyway to see the images from this shoot that honestly should have taken this damn long go here.
With this the 4th stone was collected. Green did infect beat gold after all.
Anyway I legit just spent a good while typing this, and I’m all typed out plus hungry for some chicken.
Until next time.
2 stones left.
On another note, my goal is to finish Final Fantasy 7 this month and finish Grave Destiny by Kalayna Price. Since ya know they should have been done along time ago.
This has been a sporadic and slaveful as summer,at least for me. FUCK. Kanye West Spaceship is legit playing both in my head and on my Spotify Can my Azure Ascendance spaceship come in and so I can fly away and do art things instead.
This saga actually isn’t complicated, compared to some of the others I’ve shared. Its just more so a matter of waiting.
It literally started Spring 2017 with a white girl.
But Jano, how did it go from white girl to your friend we have seen model for you 3 times who clearly isn’t white?
Well if you shut the fuck up you will find out :).
At some point in Spring 2017 when I was unemployed as fuck, yep that unemployment streak that started January 2016. MAN that was an arduous time.
I random white girl followed me on IG. At the time I was not posting anything on any social media platform. At the time my mindset I wasn’t gonna post anything until I got a full time job finally…
HA I was foolish.
Anyway because of that some of the most recent things I posted were photos of cosplay images. She DM’d me saying she would like to do a cosplay shoot, and me at the time who has not done one yet was down.
What followed was a series of events that made me more so loose patience with humanity, more so.
For those who weren’t paying attention, I wasn’t employed at the time.Employment didn’t happen until mid April and lasted until Early June. Followed by me being unemployed for 2 weeks, working for a month, then unemployed again until September. All of which, except for the 1st weekend of new slavery, I had the weekends off.
I would hit her up multiple times, and yet despite it being her idea she was never available. I appreciated her actually replying but at the same time I was irked. From the time period of Mid July to September, asking became ridiculous. She would tell me that she had alot going on, but then her IG stories would have a caption of going to meet a photographer. Days later it would be photos up of her in the outfit from the IG stories from said photographers.
Ya’ll listen, the older I get the less fucks I give.
I’m not gonna continue to chase people down for something that was their idea. I’m not.That mindset translate into a lot of things these days. I don’t have the time nor patience from it.
If you have an idea that you want done, and you don’t make an effort to make it happen. I.E. if I keep asking and the only thing you tell me is you’ll let me know, I’ll let it go.
During the mermaid saga when I finally had my model solidified. I told my homegirl about the aforementioned treachery, and she told she would do a cosplay photoshoot for me.
So let me publicly gush for once. She is legit my favorite model out of all the people I worked with.
She is, she drove down to help me out multiple times to help me fulfill my art dreams and was willing to do it again. I’m sorry none of you others can compare to her at all. Some of you may be mad, but I don’t give a fuck. If I actually get to shoot any of them more than once for another idea of mine I will be surprised. So to my homegirl I want to say you are the best, and I’m glad we met at that winter comic convention in 2013. Whenever I see you again I owe you food for all the times you helped when I was unemployed, plus you left your brush here.
Tender moments are over.
Back to this journey.
Even though she had agreed to help me out, it wasn’t that a simple thing. No major reason, just schedule conflicts. We both were working retail, and even when my schedule switched to weekend availability in the Spring of 2018 she still wasn’t able to make it down. Which sucked because I did have an idea to do it during the Spring while the trees were blooming new leaves for the year after a frigid callous winter.
Eventually August 2018, it happened after the original agreement was formed in September 2017. The day came and she arrived at my house, it took a minute before we actually did the shoot. I was recovering from a lush filled night, ironically enough when I did the masquerade shoot it was the day after I drank on a Sunday in August too.
She prepared herself make up wise, while I got my equipment ready. I drove to downtown where I envisioned this happening. The weather was perfect, as in I didn’t have to worry about her dying from heat exhaustion. It was a cloudy chill day so neither of us would sweat our spirits away.
Nothing extraordinary happened. She knew more about the character than I do, so my usual look at Pintrest for posing ideas was useless. The only other things that happened was that children thought that she was kool and wanted pictures with her. There was this one nigga, who was exactly that a nigga. I regret letting him take a photo with her, his last words were that picture will get ya’ll famous.
Negro please I didn’t even edit that nonsense.
I reject thou niggatry with the greatest power of the force.
We ended the shoot since she hadn’t eaten all day. We had talked about doing a night shoot but that didn’t happen. Partially because I was afraid it would be a repeat of what happened in Incandescent Spirits, the other half was because niggas were tired as fuck. OMG, I really need to start stretching before I shoot people I do.
At any rate, we went to get something to eat. She introduced me to Poke’bowls and Poke’ Burritoes. OMFG, they are so great. Blessed Be Korean food. We went back to my house and hung out, while she played her favorite songs.
Ugh, I just remembered how she played that foolishness of Kanye West Lift Yourself…OMG. I legit didn’t think it was him, and I’m upset I heard it.. A far from cry from Spaceship I mentioned earlier.
Someone save Kanye from Kanye
At any rate to see the images from that day click here.
On another note, this is actually the photoshoot I did of 2018. Not by choice, not by choice at all. As far “Infinity Stones” go, at this point I have 3 of the 6 I am determined to get. Other shoots were supposed to happen, but ya know life and peoples fickleness.
Moral of the story, Don’t trust white girls who slide and your DM’s. As well don’t chase anyone down when it is their idea.
Next issue will take place in 2019. I am almost caught up with time…or something…whatever…..
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed. Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival. Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.
And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.
YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice
This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.
Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.
So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.
In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life. Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.
I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.
I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.
You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.
Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.
This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.
Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.
Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid,a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.
I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.
Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.
Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies. We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.
For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.
But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?
Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose. At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house. Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera. Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.
None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.
But Jano why don’t you decorate?
Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.
I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.
Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.
I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.
But Jano, didn’t you practice?
Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.
Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem
We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her. The ironic part is that for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.
As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras. Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did. Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.
Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.
Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.
But for right now I am going to wash my hair.
Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.
First off, ya’ll Stan Lee is dead. Like Dead, like Thanos snapped away his life with the Infinity Gauntlet dead. Usually I don’t give a damn when a celebrity dies, but this shit, this shit right here nigga blew my mind. Imagine getting off work, checking your phone and seeing that an old white man you never met but who had a hand in some of the geeky intellectual properties is dead. Nigga. I had a chance to meet him at Heroes Con 2012 but the line to meet him was tooooo fucking long and I had to meet my college friends in Greensboro for a bday party that day. Plus real shit I didn’t have 90 dollars to spare. Le sigh.
Second. Winter is coming and it feels like institutional racism and the harshest oppression. There is a legit lament and heart felt yearning for it to be 90 degrees and me being unemployed like I was for four months this year as I wake up before the sun and drive through frigid temperatures.Oh god it fucking hurts. Blargh it all.
I wanted to do this issue earlier this month, but work makes me so tired that I don’t want to type anything significant lately. Kinda sad.
So at this point I got the witch concept knocked out the park and had two more concepts I wanted to bring to life. A masquerade theme. I legit don’t know where this came from, part of it was probably because of the internet. That darn internet and its random elements that I want to incorporate into an amalgamated theme. The initial idea hit me around May 2017 and shortly after the model hunt began.
MAN fuck this model hunt. That shit is the worse. So there was a girl I was following on IG, who I decided to message initially and she was like I’m interested. I was legit excited like damn you replied? damn you said yes? word?
But then I never heard from her again. Of course.
People would reply on Craigslist, honestly none of them were what I wanted at all. I was scrolling on my timeline again on IG and decided to ask this other girl I follow after I saw she did some modeling photos. Honestly what I liked about her was her colorful hair. Thats it, her face was ok. Nothing special. She had a basic white becky face but she was colorful.
Spoiler Alert; I told you these issues will be filled with shade, salt and sarcasm.
She was down for the idea. At some point I asked what color boa would she prefer to wear during the shoot and she told me blue. So next check I brought the boa and had an arts and crafts night,. I had some pink feathers I brought summer 2016 and tied into the boa. The masquerade mask I had from my birthday party in 2015, I applied gems and feathers to it as well.
Ya’ll, when I say I never heard from this pale face basic becky bitch again.I never heard from her again in my mother fucking life.
Jano, Maybe she never got the messages.
Nah, that bitch left me on read. I hope herpes eat her heart muscles while Paramore plays in the background as she grasps for air while she scratches her chest ferociously. Cunt.
After I wrote this bitch off mentally, I remembered I had asked one of my friends to model for me summer 2016, and she said yea. I decided to see if she was still down, she was. WOOT. Yay for people you become friends with during your art journey. Back in 2011, I saw an ad in Creative Loafing about a sketch group that met at Showmars and I started going. She was a waitress and we became friends. Origin story over.
I told her about the idea, the location and what I had prop wise. The only thing we really had to decide was the date. Since I was unemployed at the time that wasn’t an issue for me. Another factor was the fucking rain, summer rain was legit forecasted every…..fucking….day.
And sometimes it wouldn’t even fucking rain. THE FUCK!!!
We picked a Sunday and it was magical. Well kinda. Two of my friends had a party the night before and I didn’t get drunk, its just that I slept in a weird position in their chair. So I really didn’t sleep, but at least I didn’t drive intoxicated so that’s something. Right?
But Nigga I was in pain the next day. She drove from Monroe to help me out. Nigga, Monroe, NC. And bitches here couldn’t even answer a message. She changed and we went to NODA. The goal was to go early because it was supposed to be hot as fuck that day. So to avoid super slave heat we went before noon, so it was only semi slave heat. She told me she never really modeled before, but for someone who never really modeled before she did a really good job. More so since I couldn’t full annunciate my ideas from lack of sleep and she filled in the blanks instantly so YAAAAAAASSS to that. Some shots I couldn’t get because I overestimated my lens. But overall I got most of the shots I wanted.
To see the images from that day with my friend with a pretty face and colorful hair click. here.
Anyway thats it for now. Next Issue will be the last issue of the year and filled with oh so much shade you would think that Unicron and Galactus is hovering the planet. Google it if you didn’t get the reference. Who would have thought searching for a mermaid would be so much fucking trouble.
Passing out now, 5am comes early. FUCK. I just want to not pick cotton for the rest of my life. There is a unique solace in being unemployed and it being 90 degrees.
Holy Fuck it actually feels like fall outside, a month later after its initial arrival. I legit will miss summer minus the days it felt like having skin wasn’t necessary. Along with several other things from this past summer.
Things like what Jano?
Well not being employed, living with someone who didn’t clean after themselves, and fickle ass models. Which brings us to the subject of this issue, nice segue right?
So this summer I decided to expand my portfolio with four specific ideas. Two of which were inspired by me JUST now seeing The Craft movie ( I know I’m 20 years late), a masquerade style shoot and a mermaid. What should have taken a few weeks literally turned into a four month fucking god damn journey. Holy fucking fuck.
After an unnecessary amount of bullshit from fickle ass people, I finally brought these ideas to life. I am legit satisfied as fuck with the four who helped me out, They are the real damn MVP.
But Jano what about those who were fickle as fuck with you?
I don’t give a fuck about their lives and they can get raped by a gaggle of squirrels, catch AIDS, and get their vaginas bashed with a bag of rocks superglued with glass fragments. They are completely useless to me and should be gone from my sight. Spoiler alert, no apologies at all. I’m actually pretty darn chill until you waste my time.
I’ll go into more details when I reach these shoots in my timeline, but for right now I just wanted to give a preview of what is to come. In other news I am about to start inking Act 2 of my comic series, Azure Ascendance. On another note it is amazing how much better I can focus now that I don’t live with a filthy odorous ogre.
Man there is a lot of salt in this issue, oh well. Consider your eyes seasoned for the day 🙂
In non salty news, I legit love the new Star Trek Discovery. The Gifted is ok so far, what the fuck is this Mutant Holocaust they keep alluding to? As far as this season of Gotham I hope it isn’t trash, legit getting possible trash vibes. Not as trashy as Boruto, that shit is growing flies daily. Sadly it will probably go on for another 10 years, it can’t be worse than Dragon Ball Gt, right? Never mind that may be a thing.
Man, now that I got all of this salt out of my system I feel like a person again. I’m still an asshole, but ya know a friendly asshole.
Yo first and fucking foremost fuck not having my computer, OMG first world problems is a real thing. I just got it back after having to send it off to Apple land. Why? Because the mouse decided that it wanted to frag up on me out of the clear blue sky. And not just any clear blue sky, when I was watching One Piece in my anime block. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. I promise you before I sent it off I was hearing every old school 90’s r&b song that was about missing someone. So much sadness, ya’ll just don’t understand.
Now that I got my existential crisis out of the way, we can go on with the next stop of Jano’s model practice journey.
So once upon a time, I was dressed as Deadpool at Charlotte Comic Con December 2013, and there was this girl dressed as Poison Ivy. We met and became friends, and she decided to help me out. Because who doesn’t want to help a cute nerd with a smart ass mouth,who looks good in spandex and who went to the same college as you.The end.
Well not really, don’t leave yet.
Ironically enough the location we shot at I initially scouted for another photoshoot that got cancelled.(Which sucked because I totally could have used the money, Fuck you 2016). Anyway the location has a dead track, well that is at least what I was hoping as I was walking it. (Getting hit by a train is not part of my life goals.) The most aggravating part about this day was
1. That as we were getting ready to leave it rained, but only for an hour.
2.When it was over I was so fucking damn sore, NIGGA. I have to be the most skinny out of shape person in life. I have to be. This is what happens when you don’t go to the gym for a while, but the money is still be drafted out of your account. Yea, I need to work on that. I promise you the entire time we watched Sailor Moon R the Movie and ate pizza I questioned if It was normal to be this sore.
At any rate some of the pictures from that sore ass day are here.
Spoiler Alert: This won’t be the last time you see her. You should check out her cosplay pages in the meantime right here.
Meanwhile while ya’ll are doing that I need to catch up on my shows (Insecure, Boruto, DragonBall Super, Rick and Morty, Ninja Turtles, One Piece, X-Men, and Fairy Tail). Like I said first world problems are a real thing especially when you are not gonna pay for cable. That shit is high as fuck for no reason. Actually, no I need to do my hair, then I’ll watch my shows.
Have you ever played Sonic Cd? I feel the bulk of you just went no, well 1. Why? 2. It is ok because I will explain. In Sonic CD, Sonic the Hedgehog would be in the past, present and future at various points in the game. Why is this relevant because I realized that is how this website will seem sometimes. The theme song is now playing in my head.
So there are some perks to being unemployed, kinda. I get to spend my time story boarding Act 2 of comic series Azure Ascendance and try to get some photo projects well when life lets me. Let me explain. As I said I’ve been storyboarding the fuck out of Act 2, which you would think would be easy since I literally wrote the story a while ago. But I have to make sure the story still makes sense, characters are anatomically correct, and I don’t do the same boring character stances every single fucking panel. Once I actually finish gesturing out Act 2(currently on issue 10), then I will go back and confirm the line work, ink, scan and then spend the next several months coloring. Yes, you read that write several months.
But Jano isn’t each Act going to be 5 issues?
Yes, and ideally I should get 1 issue done a month. BUT that is ideally and as we all know sometimes idealism is not a reality. Hence why I am saying several months instead of 5. As far as Issue 2 is concerned that will be released soon.I don’t plan on releasing an Issue until I can purchase the copyright. Let me remind ya’ll, if someone steals my work I will stab the fuck out of their life and sign their dead body with my cum. Spoiler alert: I have a foul mouth and make no apologies for it. My parents would be so proud….not really.
As far as my photo projects that I’ve been trying to bring life to since April. YO, Unprofessional people are the absolute worse, they can get stabbed in their cunt hole souls. I had wanted to try to do a few more fantasy concept shoots but after the arduous, annoying, and aggrevating ordeal of securing models the past few months for the 4 ideas I had, I legit will wait to next spring before to pursue those artistic visions I desired. Spoiler Alert: when I am done with these few remains shoots, there is a high chance I will be retiring my camera for the next few months. The only way I am going to do a shoot is if I am getting paid, unless we have a prior arrangement. And if we do have a prior arrangement (example when you say you will model for me), after a courtesy check I will not continue to chase you down if you expressed an interest.The only way I may do it is if 1. You actually matter to me as a person or 2. wait, there is no 2. I am totally ok with dropping worthless souls from my life 😉
That’s essentially where I stand with my projects.I did one of my concept shoots on Sunday and I will be working on those photos this week. I legit want to spend a lot of my time playing video games but I know if I pick up the controller I may go down the rabbit hole and won’t work on my book. Yay for moderation and a tiny bit of laziness. In other news there is only 1 episode left of Game of Thrones this season(UGH),Remember Dragon Lives Matter. The Defenders still made me wanna burn The Iron Fist.Rick is the koolest pickle I’ve ever seen in my life, he could be a Defender.Eclipses are magical, and remember when you see a Nazi stab them and make it look sexy.
Yea I hate Nazi’s, that’s a thing.
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