This week feels so very chaotic, and I’m not sure why. Wait, yes I do. Besides Office Depot fucking up my god damn order. Is there another printing service that can get my images done within a day, but in a correct manner? Please let me know, please let me know. Niggas fucking up when there are no planets in retrograde.
None, no such retrograde exists.
My ability to type and have stuff flow out is being damned up by some force that is rather bothersome at the moment. I think its the week, yeah we are blaming it on the week. Wait we are in Mercury Retrograde Shadow period, maybe that is what it is. FUCK IT!!
That is what we will blaming this blah on.
True to my word, I said I would be releasing issues at a faster rate. At least for now.
OMG Jano why?
Well I’m waiting for issues 6-13 to be proof read by one of my homegirls. And since she has real life grad school responsibilities and I am not a cunt, I have no plans to rush her. But lets hope by the time i release issue 5 the other issues will be done and i can have a consistent release schedule.
Lets hope. Hell lets hope I can color the last 295 pages of my JRPG anime level epic.
I really just want to be a regular boy without a million things to do.
NO REALLY!!! OMG, i just wanna chill yo. I did a web diagram of my life and projects.
NIGGAAAASS!!! It is so much shit, so much shit on my plate.
Enough of that though…for now. Its time for the release of Level 4 of my series.
*Prepares to read script.
Abyssal returns to the battlefield with a new source of power no one expected. An alliance forged from the desperate need for survival is formed among those who started off as enemies. The Empress and newly revealed masked ally race to the battlefield, but will they make it in time.
Spoiler Alert, Souls will be crushed…nothing compared to what happens in Level 5
And head on to the publications page to order your copy of Level 4…and the other levels if you haven’t already.
And just like that this is issue over. Now to work on my task list like getting ready to show my work at the high school of my homegirls daughter for Black history month.
Yep, that is a thing I never thought i would say. Any of you ever watch Insecure? When Issa was speaking at school then somehow her broken pussy rap was discovered by tech savvy children?
Yea that may be me by the end of the week.I don’t have a broken pussy video but my mouth is pretty rancid….HA. Legit hoping I piss off the PTA the same way Eminem pissed off parents in the early 2000s but that nigga flourished despite that. Lets hope Janolytes.
Here we are. You and I gazing into an abyss of the internet as I post a new page in my Bizarre Art Journey.
I don’t know, i didn’t really have an actual opening plan so I just started spouting words.
Tonight we have a special occasion. I am releasing a new issue of comic series.
Small confession, I have literally been done with Issues 1-5 since Summer 2017.
But Jano why haven’t you been releasing them at a faster rate?
Legitly there is no real reason. Although I am glad I didn’t because just recently a friend went through the aforementioned issues and pointed out my grammatical errors. So much gringe. This is what happens when you work bullshit slave jobs after graduating, your sense of grammar and proper sentence structure dies.
So just in case you ever wondered why these issues have so many run on sentences and what not that is why.
As I was saying I don’t have an exact reason why I haven’t been releasing them, I don’t. Part of me wanted to have the whole series done, another part wanted to have a certain gap between issues. Now I literally have a ten issue gap seeing that i just finished coloring issue 13. As of right now I have only seven issues left with a total of 319 pages.
Spoiler Alert, this is only going to be a 20 issue series. If you wanted a new Naruto, DBZ, Sailormoon, Bleach or One piece this def isn’t it.
But i’m legit looking forward to finally coloring the next 7 issues, especially considering I did issues 11-20 in the summer of 2018.
Yea…So in case you haven’t figured it out coloring has been a journey. I blame cotton field fatigue for it all. What I hoped to finish in 4 years from the fall of 2016 has not manifested.
Issues 1-5 were done by spring 2017, issue 6 June 2019, Issue 7-10 summer 2020 (thanks lockdown), Issues 11-13 Fall 2020-Fall 2021.
Ugh. So much fucking ugh.
But since I actually have my book in a local bookstore and I just did the QC Zine fest, where people actually expressed interest in my book. I may actually try to release these in a faster rate. Maybe 1 every 2 months? Maybe, no promises. Hopefully I’ll be done with this JRPG saga before the releases catch up.
*does math…2025, that is if i drop an issue every 2 months from this point on. On kami if i’m not done with this saga by then I’m trash, legit trash.
Hey Google, play Charles Hamilton Loser.
Side note, if you are wondering what the final villain is gonna look like. Head towards my boutique and look at the current tshirt and prints I have for sale.
Super Final Battle JRPG Vibes bro.
With all that out of the way I present Level 3 of my comic book series Azure Ascendance.
*starts narrator voice
A battle royal begins. Coco, Boumei, Raiken, Coral and Kuchihige battle fiercely as Princess Yosei is still passed out from her recent ordeal. Meanwhile Watatsumi finds out the true identity of her masked savior. Truths are revealed as a battle rages on in another part of Azure while a new foe waits to ravage bodies indiscriminately.
*ends narrator voice
The intensity continues to build in this story my ancestors told me to write in a medium I was fond of growing up. At usual I have a preview page so that you can view.
And as usual you can find this issue on my publications page along with the back issues. I have the full witches intent to put an issue out every 2 months, especially since now this little hermit has people who are interested in this saga I’ve created. I need to do another show to keep this momentum growing.
As Namie Amuro…This is for all my fans.
Maaaan if I get people cosplaying my characters and get this animated I will yeet so hard I may cum.
First off, let us talk about something. I legit have never feared for a group of Anime Protagonist the way I do for the Straw Hat pirates as the assassination attempt on Big Mom has failed MISERABLY.
Holy fucking fuck.
Not even Team Toguro had me this shook. The next 50 episodes will be interesting…as fuck.
Anyway. How goes it? Was your October as exhausting as mine? When I was at UNCG I had periods in my semesters were it was just periods of Academic rape for at least a month.
On Kami October 2021 felt like an retro 2000 academic rape session.
OMG Jano, did you just say Academic Rape? You’re canceled.
Eh, ok. Spoiler Alert, I coined that phrase between 2002-2009. I just haven’t had a reason to say since graduating it in 2009….until now.
At any rate, if September was emotionally exhausting then October was just fucking taxing in the sense of having too much to fucking do. It has been the culmination of events I started back in March of this year.
Er before all the car dilemmas that plagued my spirit and my wallet.
Let me explain.
At some point in Jeff Bezo’s slave pit I thought maybe I should heed the psychics advice in December of starting my own business. It has something that has teetered in my head for random parts of the last decade, but i never fully pursued it. But when a psychic who is speaking with your ancestors tells you that you will be successful at something you have been too timid to do, you say fuck it and fuck it raw with big black mega meat. BOOM BOOM.
I met with my non profit boss and thus the laying of a foundation began. We discussed products, vendors, and all that other businessy stuff. Transitioning my brain from coloring to mathematical shit is a transition, especially all your jobs have been basic slave nigga shit. A week later while at an art show, i drafted up some designs for keychains and pins. The goal was to keep it as simple as possible since i’m literally still working on a comic series. I had to figure out I was going to make said keychains and pins, yeet to the gawdz for youtube.
Shortly after I found out from a friend where I could get stickers made. And a friend who I made via my girlfriend helped me get some shirts. At this point I think we are in May when I wasn’t driving my car because the stalling and starting was taking its toll and was a safety issue.
Spoiler Alert, the creation of these products probably was as complicated as my mermaid and candy queen shoots. As the late great DMX Said “I wish it was a lie, but everything I said meant it.”
June came and I finally was able to get some of the supplies I need, but of course there were complications. Complications in the sense of ink cartridges disappearing and reappearing (no really, like really fucking really), and buying the fucking wrong type of shrink paper. Fun. Things hit a halt until July when I had money to spare to buy the things I need. But didn’t really get going again til September a few weeks later after starting this new cottonfield after coming back from New York City.
Ya’ll, I’m tired just from explaining all this.
I bought my stickers, had to do trial and error with the shrink paper, and various other supplies i needed. I finally got the tshirt press machine from a friend I use to pick cotton with, the goal was to get the machine in the spring but her and I were both having issues in our life. Even making the shirts were a problem.
YO I PROMISE ALL THESE RETROGRADES CHOSE VIOLENCE AGAINST ME, MY SPIRIT AND MY PEACE!!!! THE ENEMY DID NOT WANT ME TO SUCCEED!! ON KAMI!!!!
I just heard a church organ play in my head. SMH.
But here i am with all my products ready finally. I told my non profit college friend boss that I wanted to have my store up and running either before the art show I had last week, or the QC city zine fest I will be this saturday. I didn’t have it up last week, but now it is finally up and running.
Did you check it out? You did and you came back? Yeet.
Even though my store wasn’t ready, i did take some merchandise to be sold in the forms of prints and stickers.
YA’LL PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOUGHT MY SHIT!!!!
It all happened so fast, literally. Within 20 mins of each other I made four sales. I was so floored.
Am I one step closer to becoming a pretty art idol like i want? EXTOL ME MEAT SACK HOES!!!
Excuse me my Vegeta level Narcissism was flaring up again. Pardon me humans.
But in short my store is finally up, and at the moment i don’t think I need to buy anything else…right now. Side note, I got my table banner for art shows. I looked at it and I feel like a One Piece pirate.
Def part of the Worst Generation.
Anyway. Without any more delays or awkward side rants I present to you
I plan on adding more items as time goes on, but right now this is my starting point. And as I have told you I still want to finish my comic series, so please be patient. I’ll make announcements as usual if I had anything new. I’m still navigating through this business owner space. As I navigate remember to sign up for updates on my site.
Also if you reside in Charlotte, like zines, comics and other printed materials. Come to the Queen City Zine Fest to check out me selling copies of my comic series.
Real shit, if you were to tell me my awkward shy ass I would be doing shows, with colored hair, looking kooler than usual to promote my book to get an idol fanbase I wouldn’t have believed you.
Fuck, I don’t even know how to start this issue. Although technically I did just start it with a nice medium size fuck.
You know what else is fun? The fact that I’ve been checking my website stats and people are actually coming to my website on a more frequent basis. I’m impressed because no one was coming here for a while when this first started. Are people actually reading the lengthy thesis level issues I present on a monthly basis? I have no idea, but you’ve been logged in the record book either way niggaaaaaa.
So Spoiler Alert, this isn’t going to be your standard issue of me recalling a photoshoot. Honestly at this point in my life I am too exhausted for it right now.
Despite the fact that the next few issues are pretty straight forward and simple. Probably because they aren’t my ideas and don’t involve the chaos of me trying to find a model, a location, etc, etc, et fuckin cera.
Yay, I guess.
But right now I am legit not in the mood for a flashback of Jano Bizarre JRPG Adventure….and I may not be for a month, or two…or more…..
I type this as I listen to Minthaze latest album which matches my somber mood as of late.
OMG Jano are you ok?
Eh, its a litany of things honestly.
Hey Google play H.E.R. I’m not ok. If this was Myspace i would totally have that song embedded on this issue. Simpler times…kinda.
I’m not sure why September sucks for me, but it does. Every year for no apparent reason, maybe it is some form of seasonal affective disorder. You may think I say this in jest, but I’m not. Like clockwork when September arrives my spirit withers for the bulk of the month, even if there is no type of dramatic saga occuring.
However this year it is coupled with a few things.
My Car still isn’t working sadly. I finally took it to the shop and I’m hoping next week ends me having to depend on lyft drivers and using my girlfriends car. At this point in my life I just wanna do hoodrat shit with my friends while surviving a pandemic and racism. That feels like a facebook status, but right now I think I am about to be in recluse mode and disappear off the internet for a while. But this saga has persisted for the last 6 months and I just want it to end.
Essentially I have been grounded and as such I’ve tried to make the best of my time. And with that I have been doing entirely too fucking much in hopes to get my art in these streets. Particularly in the streets of Atlanta, New York City and California via bookstores.
Thats the goal at least. I already have it in one here in Charlotte, but that isn’t good enough for me. I think going to New York City really changed my perspective on somethings. At some point I want to have a book signing event, but I’m still currently making merchandise to ideally sell.
Thats right, lil ol Jano is crafting up in these streets. Ideally before October ends there will at least be a store front. I say ideally because I wanted all this shit done over the fucking summer. But when you combine a Jeff Bezos cottonfield that doesn’t provide many hours nor chances to pick up extra shifts and a car problem that isn’t properly diagnosed, and other things that i can’t put in quick quip phrases. It makes any plans that involve cash rather difficult to fulfill.
So there is that as well.
On top of that I found out I have another art show in a month, which i need to make 2 new pieces for which isn’t so bad. However, I really want to finish coloring issue 13 and do the final touches on act 3 of my comic series. Sadly that may be the last full issue I finish this year.Maybe i can get through issue 14, maybe. The current cottonfield I’m in is busy until Halloween and after that everything tapers off. The real question is will I get kept afterwards and then how long. If i could be unemployed for a few months to work on my book that would be great, but things cost fucking money and its upsetting. Here’s hoping things work out on the art front of life and everything else follows suit.
In midst of all this I found out a friend from college passed away from cancer, adding fuel to the existential fire. Contemplation of how at some points we will either be mourning the lost of friends over the years or we will be the one who is being mourned.
The concept of time is absolutely terrifying. As is how eventually we drift apart from each other after we leave a space, and eventually get caught up in the space of our new lives to the point where we rarely reach out to those we no longer share a space with. That sentence was probably a run on but you. caught what I was pitching.
It hurts….at least for me. I miss my friends as I navigate this trail of trials.
I realized in the 4 years I’ve had this site this is the most vulnerable I’ve been.
Sometimes vulnerability is needed tho. Especially when it comes to breaking a pattern I have established over the bulk of the past four years. Right now I’m not in the space to recall a saga with all the plates I need to prepare for consumption as well. Maybe I’ll be gone til November…maybe by then I’ll be back to just working on my book and an issue a month.
In non somber news, I just finished Dear White People today. I legit loved that show. I was hoping to be finished with my comic before it was over, that and Insecure. However it does not appear to be the case. Ugh I just got somber and existential again.
As long as I finish before One Piece ends. That is still doable…I think.
Side note, if you want to help me get out of these bullshit seasonal cottonfields, while wanting to help have a meaningful job that helps the community and care about the black community. You should donate to Back to Black, the organization I help out with when not wandering through the art fields.
Was that a shameless promotion to help me the non profit work with to get funded faster so that I can have real job?
Do I give a shit how tactless that was?
At least it wasn’t as tasteless as a youtube ad.
FUCK, i just remember another Mercury Retrograde is on the way.
Spoiler Alert, detoxing is a major goal right now.
But Jano why?
Because I just came back from NYC and man I deviated so much my diet.
Dudes I’m drinking Green Tea and Hibiscus as I speak. I need to shit all of these delicious NYC toxins out of my system. Aside from that it was a fun trip, side note it was the first time I was ever on a plane.
But Jano you have never flown before?
Nope, everywhere I have traveled has been via wheels on the Earth. Terror and finances are a thing.
Heavily a thing.
It was fun tho. It was nice to be not on my phone so much also. If I had a fear of public transportation prior to last week, it def has been dispelled over the course of the last few days. Subways, planes and ferries oh my.
Side note, subway heat and bum piss are a horrible combination, just saying.
Also rats and STUFF junkies. Holy fuck that was terrifying at 4 am on the way to the airport to return home.
But I was inspired artistically which is important, and definitely want to do some shoots up there. NYC is nice to visit but I don’t think I would want to live up there. Maybe just to do art related business but that is it.
Personal Life Tangent over.
Now back to my art journey and me talking shit, because that’s what we are here for right? Exactly.
We are about to step into the first shoot I did of 2021. The sequel to 2020 because covid fuckery is still abound and I’ve had a plethora of problems with my car.
Here is hoping I get it back this week and there are no more issues for the rest of this year.
Before we press play lets rewind to fall 2018 when I arrived at cotton field 10. The place I thought I would be able to stay at, get actual raises, and work on my book.
HA, I was foolish indeed.
So fuckin’ foolish.
When I started as usual I didn’t talk to anyone, however I would observe and make note of people. There was a girl who I would see in another department and at some point she didn’t work there anymore. Not a big deal to me since your life has nothing to do with stranger person.
Until life goes, hey do you remember them? They need a photographer.
Ummm sure. …ok.
At some point in January, my girlfriend told me that she was friends with aforementioned girl. She showed me a picture of her and I was like oh I remember her. Some how some way I was tasked with being the photographer for her baby shower in March. I say some how some way because I don’t remember who contacted who, just her and I were communicating about needing a photographer for her baby shower.
We chatted over Facebook and she let me know the date, time and I let her know my rates.
Spoiler Alert, this is another non conflictual issue. It is. Honestly the next few are going to be lacking of me talking shit about the subjects involved in the shoots.
Legit just realized it is the shoots that I try to do that mostly have the conflictual issues.
Well thats disappointing in the grand scheme of things.
Anyway March came and so did the Saturday of the event. The event was actually at a church across the street from an elementary school I use to go to from 1993-1995….Holy Fuck the concept of time….FUCK.
When we arrived the family of the parents to be were decorating, and I got the usual shots of decorations.
At some point the mother to be arrived and the festivities begun….which I don’t really remember. Clearly I took images of the event but I really disassociate from event when I shoot them.
I don’t attach myself to what is going on. I primarily shoot the subject of interest and whatever is going on at the time, but I don’t get involved with what is happening. Kinda like The Watcher from Marvel, or Kami.
Niggas just be looking with observing fucking eyes.
I sound callous but events have no value to me after doing so many. My only concern is getting the moments shot right especially I am getting paid.
The Baby Shower lasted at least 2 hrs. When it was all said and done she Cash App’d me the amount, we talked briefly, and her and my girlfriend talked then we left.
Told ya this is a real simple issue, and here are the images for said issue.
Anyway folks thats all. Time to go back to doing a litany of task to achieve my art dreams while balancing cottonfields and the exhaustion they cause.
Life has been a bit wonky lately. Part of me wants to blame it on Mercury Retrograde….ya know what fuck it. I totally blame it on Mercury Retrograde. More so since I found out there has been 2 this year so far and a third is still to come.
What type of fuckery is this?
All I wanna do is do hood rat shit with my friends, play video games, be a witch, work on my comic series, and save up enough money from the bullshit cotton field I work at and from art products I want to make and sell so that I can quit and work on my book again until its completed.
Spoiler Alert, I Just want to color all night like I did in 2016.
Thats all. I’m a simple man.
But no, lately its been trying to figure why the fuck my car keeps on stalling. Dude its so annoying and traumatic all things considered, on Kami. Hopefully this will be resolved soon.
Anyway today I felt nostalgic as fuck as I realized the position of the calendar day of this month. 5 years ago in the trying times of 2016….actually in retrospect 2016 was kinda fun, minus being unemployed….I was trying to figure out how to build this fucking website on a Saturday after watching Dope for the first time.
FUCK, its been 5 years since i really got serious in this art journey.
The concept of time is so scary….also are all these fire works that are being shot off right now as I type this.As a nigga in the hood I know the difference between firecrackers and gunshots. Although right now it sounds like canons are being shot off.
Swing your dicks bro, I guess.
I’ve been bathing in a sea of existential ennui today as i wonder have I even achieved that much in my journey. I have learned ways to improve over the years. I’m not so awkward at shooting models, 5 years ago tho nigga i was trash.
So much trash.
But for the most part all I did was events which weren’t much of a challenge. None, no such challenge exist. The bond with my camera has gotten closer in terms of technical skills. I’m not the best but i def know more than i did 5 years ago. MAN the shoots i’ve done and the journeys to complete them have felt like quest in JRPGs. Some I would redo just for the sake of a new skill level.
Spoiler Alert, I still am on the search of the last 2 infinity stones that I started search for at the tail end of 2017. UGH. Unfortunately, i don’t think i will get them this year…its a another jrpg side quest it seems.
Might as well segue off JPRG and link it to my comic that i started in the fall of 2016.
Man. MAAAAN. MAAAAAAAAAN.
That has been the bulk of the past 5 years, legitly. The irony is when 2016 started was hoping to have a stable job and not bounce from cotton field to cotton field. But here I am thanking life for all the times I was not working, because without it I wouldn’t have gotten as much as done.
Here I am hoping for another employment break so I can finish the last 8 issues. Thats right 8 issues are left for me to color. Being quarantined because of Covid at the end of April, Early May def helped. If i can get at least 1 page done a day I should reach my goal of finishing before the end of 2022.
If life stops distracting me with these ordeals I can go back to focusing on what is important to me.
When it is over, honestly I just want to be a real boy. Of chilling, playing video games, and no big major projects. I miss that portion of my life. That may not ever truly return but at least I won’t have a major project looming over my head anymore.
There will be projects surely, but not a project that is at least 1000 pages.
FUCK! *Tyler the Creator voice.
Despite what you just read, I still love my story with all my heart.
Will I ever do another comic series? Honestly I don’t know. I want to say no because of how arduous this one has been, but random storyboard thoughts and character design flow through my head. If I did do it, It would be way shorter than my current saga or I would be paid for it.
But what I do have planned art wise are the following.
A store with art products I’ve designed. Literally the only thing I have to do is make said products and the store.
Yes, amid all the craziness of this spring I got my book in one of the local book stores here. Nigga when I got the email I screamed like Will Smith did in various episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
YEET TO THE GAWDZ!!!!
Right now I’m playing email tag with the owner. Hopefully things will go smoother since Retrograde is over.
Also more art shows. At this point i’ve done 4 and I dare say I’m getting use to them, Kinda. The next time I hope I have aforementioned merchandise ready.
Moral of the story; Jano is on the way to becoming an Icon that will make you yeet so hard cum will leak from your organs. I def need to get some photoshoots of me done for the sake of my narcissism and my website.
May this lead to me getting my Jrpg comic saga animated and so much more.
With that being said thats it for now. Next month I’ll pick back up on my photo journey with the shoots I’ve done this year so far. They are not chaotic in the slightest in the terms of what I have gone through for the shoots of summer 2017.
If you were helpful to me on this journey in the last 5 years Thank you. If not and you pissed me off…fuck you and everything you stand for.
Also big shout to Spotify for being there as I work on all my projects, and slowly learning my music habits. I appreciate you and your creepy ways.
Hail to the Guardians of the watch tower, Sun, Moon, star, North, south, east and west. Please help me achieve all my art dreams, those spoken and not spoken of. Let my life being balanced of art, joy, relaxation and no stress.
MAN, I want to have one month this year without car problems. Actually no, not just one. Several months. My car has been stalling on me faithfully, and It hurts.
Oh how it hurts so much.
UGH, so much fucking UGH. At least this time I was in my driveway and not on the highway.
Yea that was a thing. A horrible fucking thing.
2021 is almost making me miss 2020. At least in 2020 there wasn’t this reoccurring issue.
Anyway Its adventure time. C’mon tell a friend.
Side note, I’m hoping the next issue will be a more joyful intro. The ironic thing is I actually have really good news to share.
Spoiler Alert, that may get its own issue.
So back in the fall of 2018, I started working at what I call Cotton field 10. When I started it was ok I guess, but then ya know the whole throat swelling up because I was allergic to the actual job thing happened. Fuckers.
At some point I saw this guy and I literally thought….this nigga is dressed like a black Dracula. My nigga had on something that looked like Velvet, ole smooth as looking nigga. At some point him and I ended up working on the same shift and we became friends. Side note, he is one of the reasons I ended up being in my first art show.
AWWW tender moments.
Fast forward to fall 2020 I hit up said Dracula looking nigga asking would he be down to model for me, and he was.
Ok, so I forgot to mention this is actually another chill issue with no type of drama what so ever. This like what the 5th one this year. This is so odd for me. Is this what peace feels like? Or at least a semblance of peace? Nevermind the projects I still have to do.
At any rate we coordinated our schedules between our new different cotton fields. He told me he would need me to pick him up, which was fine considering he is helping with a random artist vision of mine of a nigga in the woods.
No really, thats was the vision.
I went to go pick him up on a not so cold as fuck December day. It was nice to see him again, it was. The last time I saw him was during super slave season when he quit that raggedy ass cotton field. I drove up to the location where I did the mermaid saga, but on the other side. I had walked the other side a few times during the unemployed summer of 2018. It was a bit difference from the other side, the key difference of having a well, a bridge, and some type of camp site that may or may not have been haunted.
We jumped right into it. Now equipped with new knowledge of how my fucking lens worked, I found myself switching between all 3 of my lens. It is nice to be loaded with new information, but the lens switching process became tedious after a while as we traversed through the dead leaf trail.
Honestly that may be the most conflict in this whole issue, and I’m ok with that.
Wait no, at some point I saw that the fucking well was no longer there. Aggravated, aggravated as fuck. That was so key in my mind. Nigga I was bothered. Like angry Vegeta yelling bothered. UGGGGH.
Niggas out here really taking the time to disassemble a well. There is a whole ass super virus fucking up humanity and you raggedy motha fuckas wanna break a well. Bitch go buy some legos and do some other shit.
Ok, I’m done.
As we walked to the other side he started to tell me about his love life. The crushes, the heartbreaks, the emotions felt and the cascade of sorrow that swept him under at times. It was very touching, and the emotions he felt as he told his story translated on his face as he shot him.
You never really know someone until you walk with them in the woods and take their pictures for an artistic vision of yours.
When it was all done I drove him back home, said our goodbyes, and laid the fuck down. At this time Masta had me shucking and jiving at 4 fucking am. NIGGAS ARE TIIIIIED.
That is actually the last photoshoot of the trying times of 2020. WOOOOOOO, lucky I survived it. Legit lucky I survived it, shit was a long ass black mirror episode no one asked to be part of.
Speaking of photoshoots (of the sorts), I had my fourth art show today. Man a nigga yeeted today. Literally as we were about to leave a swarm of bikers came toward the end, just to get pictures of us.\
ON KAMI NIGGA. I’ve never felt so flabbergasted in my life. A literal group of people I’ve never met in my life came to support me and my 2 friends who are local artist. Shit is pretty dope. I need to get better in being in front of the camera. I’m use to being behind it in case you haven’t noticed.
I guess I we are at the point in the JRPG journey were I need to level up my in front of camera stats.
I don’t know if thats a thing, but right now in this moment we are going to make it a thing.
Yo I think Nigger heat season is officially over, never mind fall started like 2 weeks ago but whatever. Yay for global warming, not really the Earth is fucked.
Anyway as I type this, my homegirl is shooting a movie in my place. We will talk about that later. What I will say about it right now is that someone’s feet is horrendous as fuck and I am so damn over it.
FUCK BRUH! White people don’t be taking care of their feet I promise you, shit be smelling like old corn chips, mildew and expired grease.
Ok, thats enough for now
So this is peaceful issue, and by peaceful I don’t have the urge to cut anyone’s throat. At all.
So this story starts with a cotton field, the same cotton field that I am unfortunately about to be in for a whole year. Ugh.
Anyway through a series of events, ie our mutual friends who were smart enough to leave this cotton field, me and the model of this issue became close as time went on.
More so over this past summer.
Texting, post cotton field hang outs, and things of that nature. She told me her last birthday was trash on a stick. And since I do that thing called listening, I tried to figure out something to do for her bday that she might actually like.
At first the thought was an art museum, at first.
But at some point I met up with a friend I made at another cotton field. He was paying back for watching over his dog as well as me giving him back the keys to his place. We hang out for a while, since its been a while and we don’t share the same cotton field anymore. Within that time frame he told me about this place called Portal, which is an interactive art gallery.
I googled it and it made a nigga YEET.
August 4th came, and we got ready for the day. She got ready in the dress I got her, she told me not to look as she got ready. That was easy enough. When she came out, I was impressed.
So impressed that I actually decided that I thought we could walk around downtown and shoot some images of her.
I wasn’t playing about this being a simple issue, this is an actual easy flowing issue.
We parked in the same parking deck as when I shot Sunday Stroll, the walk is relatively short. The wind burst to her attire were troublesome but it was short lived. Very short lived.
We arrived, if it wasn’t for the sign pointing to it we would have missed it completely. The space was small but effective. Despite what the website when I purchased the ticket there was no allotted time to be there. We could stay as long as we desired, which I’m grateful for because this place was an example of the word dope.
Dope as fuck.
There were at least 6-8 rooms. Within seeing the first two rooms and I asked one of the employees was it cool to go back to my car and get my camera. A few minutes later and it was business time.
Man that last part was corny, but this place was deemed to be worth of talking about on my website. At first glance it was going to be just a camera phone adventure.
Upgrade Motha Fuckaaaaaaa.
Despite the huge amount of selfies she has taken, she has never modeled before. It didn’t show at all. None what so ever. She took directions wonderfully, and improvised parts she wanted to try as well.
I legit like when people who have never modeled before, do a wonderful job on their own. Makes things so much more easier for me. So much.
However, because of mistakes on my part there weren’t as many good shots as there could have been. I totally need to practice in between shoots. The events that happened in this issue occurred in August, and the issue prior was April, before that ummm August 2018.
Yea you get the point.
I asked her would she model for me again, and she said yea. The aspiration is there, maybe I could use her for one of the stones I’m looking for.
MAN I hope so because looking for a model for that project has irked the fuck out of my soul. Ya’ll have no idea how much of an arduous journey that is going to be for me to type. FML with a god damn pig.
Anyway to see the images from her bday present from me. click here.
In other random news because sharing is caring and this is good news on my side of life, I am going to be in my first art show, YEET.
Some fellow slaves I pick cotton with at the same place that allowed this issue to happen told me about it. It will be an art show inspired by anime. Fuck yeah nigga I’m in there like cum in a bellybutton.
But Jano, you mean they saw what you draw and allowed it.
For those who live in Charlotte, it will be October 25th 7pm-10pm at Camp North End.
Spoiler Alert, I am both pretty as fuck and Awkward as fuck.
Depending on how life goes I may talk about it next issue.
I may be in a RAW artist show on November 20th at the Filmore. That is still in the making, but I just accepted my invite.
My legit goal is to be like the music artist I’ve seen this year (Anderson Paak, Kilo Kish, Marsha Ambrosious , J. Cole, Kota the Friend, Banks, and soon to be Sabrina Claudio and Incubus.) promote art, have people buy said art, get easier to get models, and somehow SOMEHOW get my comic series animated, streamed on popular tv services and reap the seeds of what I sowed. Oh yeah and at some point to open up my own non profit.
Speaking of my comic series, I just off an urge to add a few pages to an issue and redo the cover of the next issue. As far as the actual progress of said AfroFuturism comic series,
I legit need a new cotton field to shuck and jive in that doesn’t leave so fucking exhausted. A nigga just wants to color and follow his dreams. Thats all.
Anyway thats it for now, I legit have to get ready for said cotton field. 336 am comes early. If I don’t see you on October 25th, I’ll see you next issue.
Man I actually worked a full summer, that hasn’t happened in years. Def not a fan, even though I did get to do fun things this summer. The price of freedom yields monetary gain for joy. Yay Capitalism…. I suppose.
This another entry in the existential Infinity stone saga that started in the wee early days of 2017. For those keeping up this would be the fourth stone of the arc, 2 more and I’ll have a full set.
Side note, As I type this I am still in search of those two stones. As long as it has taken to get to this point I hope that they are worth it.
MAN, on god nigga, on GOD my nigga this concept was pretty simplistic, it was. But for some reason it took a year and four months to achieve it.
Who remembers that one part of the mermaid saga when I said I went to go scout Midtown Park for a possible shoot location? Well I am piggy backing off that for this issue. When 2018 started I remembered that location on that aggravating as fuck day. Couple that and the random images I see on the internet from Instagram and Pintrest, an idea gestated in my mind. I decide to do a 90’s era photoshoot.
But Jano that sounds like it would be simple to pull off. Why did it take so long?
Have ya’ll not been paying attention to my life? How often are any of my ideas simple? Exactly. I promise this art journey comes with more side quest than most modern video games. I should have hella trophies unlocked now. Fuck I should have bonus points for cussing anyone out. Wait would I get a trophy for actually loosing my cool? I might go for a trophy next time I get hit with some 1080 HD 4k fuckery.
I was scrolling through my IG timeline and thought to ask this girl I follow and models, who I thought would do it. I had asked her to model for me in 2017, but I didn’t really have an idea in mind unlike this time. I approached her with the idea and the time frame I wanted to do it, Ie when it wasn’t cold as fuck. She was down for it.
I wasn’t saying Yeet last year, but I am now, So fuck it. Time travels is a fluid concept.
Eventually I bought an Old school 90’s boombox, ya know the type you would see on TV. The type you can carry on your shoulder and disturb all the peace, but be harmonious to yourself and those who appreciate the genre of music you like. I found some old blank cassette tapes I had in my room from when I use to actually listen to the radio, and record music off.
MAN the nostalgia of simple times, take a nigga back. Not gonna lie tho Spotify is def the best, especially since I can’t stand what is on the radio nowadays.
At this point we are in Mid March. I emailed her asking what songs would she want on the mixtape. I like going for a full effect of what the fuck I am trying to shoot if I can.
Ya’ll bitches be the worse. They do, the absolute fucking worse.
I would email her, and assuming that not everyone checks their mail all the time (even though our initial conversation about what I was trying to achieve with this shoot was via email and she replied, but whatever) I would message her asking if she got my email as a prompt for her to check it. Bitch would leave me left on read, but on god would like all my memes. All of em.
At some point when I attempted to communicate with her, she did reply saying that she hadn’t checked her email. I took a screenshot of the msg and sent it to her via IG DM’s….and still no reply.
Just absolute fuck it.
Ya’ll think this is bad, wait til we get the last 2 stones. Oh boy those are true anime arcs, long as fuck. Filled with Daunting moments of existentialism.
Timeline wise we are near the nigger heat summer of 2018. I got laid off from my job, so I was free as fuck. Figured I’d make the best of my time the best I can. It was upsetting because on the photography part of the art journey, you can’t do a photoshoot without a model. And unlike the mermaid saga and the candy queen arc, this wasn’t a difficult concept.
Summer came and I would fill my days of being laid off of going to restaurants, of stuffing my face, working on acts 3 and 4 of my book, while using their wifi to play hours of music on Spotify. At various points I would have random text conversations with friends.
One friend in particular, I was telling her about the aforementioned events. And she said she would do it. Awe struck I was, especially since she told me can’t be out in the sun for too long. Truthfully I had thought about asking her, but there was reasons I didn’t. Mainly because us hanging out is always difficult, typically the days we have attempted to hang out something always happened. At this point in time, we had only seen each other 2 times….
…and we had known each other for a few years. I know adult friendships are hard but this was final level boss hard.
I knew better, but hoped for the best.
Unfortunately the same patterns repeated themselves. The days when we had made plans to meet up to pick the songs for the mixtape, something drastic came up on her end. And at some point I stopped hearing from her for a while, found out who later on why which has no bearing on the rest of this issue.
Again this project was dead in the water. I kept searching, and eyeballing people of who I would want to do this. Eventually I started working a new job in October and 2018 ended and 2019 arrived.
Now we are getting to the climax of this story.
At some point in the cotton field I became cool with one of the fellow slaves. Due to the weekend shift being dissolved, her and a few others were now part of my shift. As time went on I noticed she had a 90s aesthetic. I figured maybe I should ask and see would she model for me.
So one February day in the cotton field I asked.
She seemed squeamish to the idea, but gave me her email anyway so I could give her all the details of what I am trying to do for the project. She told me she would give it some thought, I was like Koolio beanzo.
However, *deep sigh*
Her started to get complicated for various reasons which I don’t feel like typing. But emotionally she was starting to go through it. The tiny part of me that is humane thought it would be in bad taste to ask her about it.
I promise this could have been so simple, but was like Nah Nigga.
Anyway, One week I saw an art event on Facebook about Art, Beer and Chicken. And this nigga likes chicken and art.
Friday came, and I made an effort to stay awake post cotton field. If I passed out like I usually do I would have not made there at all. I got there and legit didn’t plan on seeing anyone I know at all. I didn’t. Social skills was not a thing I was planning on using that night.
Ironically enough I did.
At some point I went to the restroom, came back and while I was waiting in line there was a girl ahead of me in line. I recognized the green hair and the pointy cat ear frames, internally I was like I think thats a person I follow online. And it was.
You know how you what if scenarios play in your head? Well sometimes I have ones where I’m out and someone who follows me online sees me and they go OMG you are so kool, nice to meet you, you are hilarious as fuck. Well thats what happened.
We catch eyes and she starts talking to me, and me being the awkward, tired person I am finds myself in a scenario I legit never thought was gonna happen especially since I didn’t think I would run into anyone that night. Oh irony. We talk for a few mins, goes off to grab some food and thats it for our interaction for the night. I see her with 2 other people, but don’t go over to them because I legit didn’t wanna be a odd as fuck spare wheel who is socially awkward. At some point I leave to go home and pass out, but before I do send her a message sorry if I came off awkward as fuck. She said it was kool, she thought she was awkward and I was like nah you were ok.
Awww tender moments.
Ironically enough, I ran into her the next day at Abari’s block party and it was like we were friends from 10 years ago. It was me, her, the two guys I saw her with last night and my homegirl. It was a pretty chill day. At some point I started to think maybe she would model for me.
The following week I asked my aforementioned coworker when did she want to work on her mixtape. Man the apprehension and nervous on her face was all the answer I needed, and after a discourse she told me my least favorite words when it comes to a photoshoot.
I’ll let you know.
Essentially those words are nails in a coffin for me, because no one ever lets me know shit. Spoiler Alert, its several months later and I still have not been let known anything. I decide to message my recent internet friend to real life friend, and she said would totally be down.
HOLY FUCK, THE YEEET I FELT DEEP IN MY HEART. The ball started rolling finally. Something that should have happened last fucking spring finally was happening.
We started an email correspondence, of what songs she would want on the mixtapes, when each of us would be free, and what not. Her playlist was crack on a stick. I somehow downloaded all the songs from Spotify using some program, and the transferred them to a cassette tape.
The transfer didn’t go as smooth as I had planned. First I had to order a new flash drive because my kool Transformer Ravage one fragged out on me. Even after that I didn’t get the order of the songs arranged like I thought. And for some reason the last 30 secs to minute of the song would abruptly cut off, which was really fucking odd considering the songs were downloaded in full.
Odd, but not odd enough for me to sweat it. We chose Easter Sunday to do the shoot. As excited as I was, I was also nervous as fuck. To be honest I was nervous that it would be a repeat event of Incandescent Spirits, where I had acted like I never held a camera before Plus this was the first photoshoot Ive done since August 2018.That was humiliating for me and I didn’t want that to occur again. At any costs. As usual I spent the day mentally preparing how I wanted this to go down. I had recently scouted the area again, since the last time I was there was August 2017.
She and her boyfriend arrived, which was kool because he helped carry some of the things that were brought. Oh I forgot to mention, she had never modeled before which really didn’t matter because she did a great job. She had made a comment how she hated how she looks in photos, and then I showed her and she was like well damn.
Not to be cocky, but thats usually the reaction when I show people photos of them. Nice how I make people believe in themselves….even though I am a legit asshole.
As the shoot went on we laughed each time a song ended abruptly, not gonna lie it was hilarious and annoying when it was a song we all really liked. At some point we called it quits for various reasons. She was exhausted from her job which I totally understood, and there was a still a good amount of the park to shoot. Plus there were other areas we had to skip over because people were shooting there already. And she wanted to do her make up better than she had for today. We ended it for the day, and did the 2nd half a week later.
MAAAAN Listen. She came out her car looking like Rachel True from The Craft and I won’t mad at it. At all. We did the rest of the park with no problems.
Wait, no there was a problem. So at some point this random old white man, who we presumed was homeless and drunk. Decided to piss in the area where we are shooting.
NIGGA!, There is a whole park for you to piss in and you chose the area where we are. Smells like racism and expired Budweiser. Cunt.
And after that I fulfilled my promise of feeding her when it was over. She originally wanted to go this sushi restaurant, but at some point we were talking about how I went to this Ecuadorian restaurant that my friend took me to while I was in Raleigh J.Cole’s Dreamville festival which led us to Viva Chicken. OMG blessed be Viva Chicken and the purple and yellow sauce.
YEET NIGGA YEET.
Also Dreamville Festival is where I heard the word Yeet. It was during J.Cole’s performance, and at some point after he performed Middle Child this white girl yelled it and it has been part of lexicon ever since. Damn White girls.
Anyway to see the images from this shoot that honestly should have taken this damn long go here.
With this the 4th stone was collected. Green did infect beat gold after all.
Anyway I legit just spent a good while typing this, and I’m all typed out plus hungry for some chicken.
Until next time.
2 stones left.
On another note, my goal is to finish Final Fantasy 7 this month and finish Grave Destiny by Kalayna Price. Since ya know they should have been done along time ago.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.