First off, let us talk about something. I legit have never feared for a group of Anime Protagonist the way I do for the Straw Hat pirates as the assassination attempt on Big Mom has failed MISERABLY.
Holy fucking fuck.
Not even Team Toguro had me this shook. The next 50 episodes will be interesting…as fuck.
Anyway. How goes it? Was your October as exhausting as mine? When I was at UNCG I had periods in my semesters were it was just periods of Academic rape for at least a month.
On Kami October 2021 felt like an retro 2000 academic rape session.
OMG Jano, did you just say Academic Rape? You’re canceled.
Eh, ok. Spoiler Alert, I coined that phrase between 2002-2009. I just haven’t had a reason to say since graduating it in 2009….until now.
At any rate, if September was emotionally exhausting then October was just fucking taxing in the sense of having too much to fucking do. It has been the culmination of events I started back in March of this year.
Er before all the car dilemmas that plagued my spirit and my wallet.
Let me explain.
At some point in Jeff Bezo’s slave pit I thought maybe I should heed the psychics advice in December of starting my own business. It has something that has teetered in my head for random parts of the last decade, but i never fully pursued it. But when a psychic who is speaking with your ancestors tells you that you will be successful at something you have been too timid to do, you say fuck it and fuck it raw with big black mega meat. BOOM BOOM.
I met with my non profit boss and thus the laying of a foundation began. We discussed products, vendors, and all that other businessy stuff. Transitioning my brain from coloring to mathematical shit is a transition, especially all your jobs have been basic slave nigga shit. A week later while at an art show, i drafted up some designs for keychains and pins. The goal was to keep it as simple as possible since i’m literally still working on a comic series. I had to figure out I was going to make said keychains and pins, yeet to the gawdz for youtube.
Shortly after I found out from a friend where I could get stickers made. And a friend who I made via my girlfriend helped me get some shirts. At this point I think we are in May when I wasn’t driving my car because the stalling and starting was taking its toll and was a safety issue.
Spoiler Alert, the creation of these products probably was as complicated as my mermaid and candy queen shoots. As the late great DMX Said “I wish it was a lie, but everything I said meant it.”
June came and I finally was able to get some of the supplies I need, but of course there were complications. Complications in the sense of ink cartridges disappearing and reappearing (no really, like really fucking really), and buying the fucking wrong type of shrink paper. Fun. Things hit a halt until July when I had money to spare to buy the things I need. But didn’t really get going again til September a few weeks later after starting this new cottonfield after coming back from New York City.
Ya’ll, I’m tired just from explaining all this.
I bought my stickers, had to do trial and error with the shrink paper, and various other supplies i needed. I finally got the tshirt press machine from a friend I use to pick cotton with, the goal was to get the machine in the spring but her and I were both having issues in our life. Even making the shirts were a problem.
YO I PROMISE ALL THESE RETROGRADES CHOSE VIOLENCE AGAINST ME, MY SPIRIT AND MY PEACE!!!! THE ENEMY DID NOT WANT ME TO SUCCEED!! ON KAMI!!!!
I just heard a church organ play in my head. SMH.
But here i am with all my products ready finally. I told my non profit college friend boss that I wanted to have my store up and running either before the art show I had last week, or the QC city zine fest I will be this saturday. I didn’t have it up last week, but now it is finally up and running.
Did you check it out? You did and you came back? Yeet.
Even though my store wasn’t ready, i did take some merchandise to be sold in the forms of prints and stickers.
YA’LL PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOUGHT MY SHIT!!!!
It all happened so fast, literally. Within 20 mins of each other I made four sales. I was so floored.
Am I one step closer to becoming a pretty art idol like i want? EXTOL ME MEAT SACK HOES!!!
Excuse me my Vegeta level Narcissism was flaring up again. Pardon me humans.
But in short my store is finally up, and at the moment i don’t think I need to buy anything else…right now. Side note, I got my table banner for art shows. I looked at it and I feel like a One Piece pirate.
Def part of the Worst Generation.
Anyway. Without any more delays or awkward side rants I present to you
I plan on adding more items as time goes on, but right now this is my starting point. And as I have told you I still want to finish my comic series, so please be patient. I’ll make announcements as usual if I had anything new. I’m still navigating through this business owner space. As I navigate remember to sign up for updates on my site.
Also if you reside in Charlotte, like zines, comics and other printed materials. Come to the Queen City Zine Fest to check out me selling copies of my comic series.
Real shit, if you were to tell me my awkward shy ass I would be doing shows, with colored hair, looking kooler than usual to promote my book to get an idol fanbase I wouldn’t have believed you.
Life has been a bit wonky lately. Part of me wants to blame it on Mercury Retrograde….ya know what fuck it. I totally blame it on Mercury Retrograde. More so since I found out there has been 2 this year so far and a third is still to come.
What type of fuckery is this?
All I wanna do is do hood rat shit with my friends, play video games, be a witch, work on my comic series, and save up enough money from the bullshit cotton field I work at and from art products I want to make and sell so that I can quit and work on my book again until its completed.
Spoiler Alert, I Just want to color all night like I did in 2016.
Thats all. I’m a simple man.
But no, lately its been trying to figure why the fuck my car keeps on stalling. Dude its so annoying and traumatic all things considered, on Kami. Hopefully this will be resolved soon.
Anyway today I felt nostalgic as fuck as I realized the position of the calendar day of this month. 5 years ago in the trying times of 2016….actually in retrospect 2016 was kinda fun, minus being unemployed….I was trying to figure out how to build this fucking website on a Saturday after watching Dope for the first time.
FUCK, its been 5 years since i really got serious in this art journey.
The concept of time is so scary….also are all these fire works that are being shot off right now as I type this.As a nigga in the hood I know the difference between firecrackers and gunshots. Although right now it sounds like canons are being shot off.
Swing your dicks bro, I guess.
I’ve been bathing in a sea of existential ennui today as i wonder have I even achieved that much in my journey. I have learned ways to improve over the years. I’m not so awkward at shooting models, 5 years ago tho nigga i was trash.
So much trash.
But for the most part all I did was events which weren’t much of a challenge. None, no such challenge exist. The bond with my camera has gotten closer in terms of technical skills. I’m not the best but i def know more than i did 5 years ago. MAN the shoots i’ve done and the journeys to complete them have felt like quest in JRPGs. Some I would redo just for the sake of a new skill level.
Spoiler Alert, I still am on the search of the last 2 infinity stones that I started search for at the tail end of 2017. UGH. Unfortunately, i don’t think i will get them this year…its a another jrpg side quest it seems.
Might as well segue off JPRG and link it to my comic that i started in the fall of 2016.
Man. MAAAAN. MAAAAAAAAAN.
That has been the bulk of the past 5 years, legitly. The irony is when 2016 started was hoping to have a stable job and not bounce from cotton field to cotton field. But here I am thanking life for all the times I was not working, because without it I wouldn’t have gotten as much as done.
Here I am hoping for another employment break so I can finish the last 8 issues. Thats right 8 issues are left for me to color. Being quarantined because of Covid at the end of April, Early May def helped. If i can get at least 1 page done a day I should reach my goal of finishing before the end of 2022.
If life stops distracting me with these ordeals I can go back to focusing on what is important to me.
When it is over, honestly I just want to be a real boy. Of chilling, playing video games, and no big major projects. I miss that portion of my life. That may not ever truly return but at least I won’t have a major project looming over my head anymore.
There will be projects surely, but not a project that is at least 1000 pages.
FUCK! *Tyler the Creator voice.
Despite what you just read, I still love my story with all my heart.
Will I ever do another comic series? Honestly I don’t know. I want to say no because of how arduous this one has been, but random storyboard thoughts and character design flow through my head. If I did do it, It would be way shorter than my current saga or I would be paid for it.
But what I do have planned art wise are the following.
A store with art products I’ve designed. Literally the only thing I have to do is make said products and the store.
Yes, amid all the craziness of this spring I got my book in one of the local book stores here. Nigga when I got the email I screamed like Will Smith did in various episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
YEET TO THE GAWDZ!!!!
Right now I’m playing email tag with the owner. Hopefully things will go smoother since Retrograde is over.
Also more art shows. At this point i’ve done 4 and I dare say I’m getting use to them, Kinda. The next time I hope I have aforementioned merchandise ready.
Moral of the story; Jano is on the way to becoming an Icon that will make you yeet so hard cum will leak from your organs. I def need to get some photoshoots of me done for the sake of my narcissism and my website.
May this lead to me getting my Jrpg comic saga animated and so much more.
With that being said thats it for now. Next month I’ll pick back up on my photo journey with the shoots I’ve done this year so far. They are not chaotic in the slightest in the terms of what I have gone through for the shoots of summer 2017.
If you were helpful to me on this journey in the last 5 years Thank you. If not and you pissed me off…fuck you and everything you stand for.
Also big shout to Spotify for being there as I work on all my projects, and slowly learning my music habits. I appreciate you and your creepy ways.
Hail to the Guardians of the watch tower, Sun, Moon, star, North, south, east and west. Please help me achieve all my art dreams, those spoken and not spoken of. Let my life being balanced of art, joy, relaxation and no stress.
MAN, I want to have one month this year without car problems. Actually no, not just one. Several months. My car has been stalling on me faithfully, and It hurts.
Oh how it hurts so much.
UGH, so much fucking UGH. At least this time I was in my driveway and not on the highway.
Yea that was a thing. A horrible fucking thing.
2021 is almost making me miss 2020. At least in 2020 there wasn’t this reoccurring issue.
Anyway Its adventure time. C’mon tell a friend.
Side note, I’m hoping the next issue will be a more joyful intro. The ironic thing is I actually have really good news to share.
Spoiler Alert, that may get its own issue.
So back in the fall of 2018, I started working at what I call Cotton field 10. When I started it was ok I guess, but then ya know the whole throat swelling up because I was allergic to the actual job thing happened. Fuckers.
At some point I saw this guy and I literally thought….this nigga is dressed like a black Dracula. My nigga had on something that looked like Velvet, ole smooth as looking nigga. At some point him and I ended up working on the same shift and we became friends. Side note, he is one of the reasons I ended up being in my first art show.
AWWW tender moments.
Fast forward to fall 2020 I hit up said Dracula looking nigga asking would he be down to model for me, and he was.
Ok, so I forgot to mention this is actually another chill issue with no type of drama what so ever. This like what the 5th one this year. This is so odd for me. Is this what peace feels like? Or at least a semblance of peace? Nevermind the projects I still have to do.
At any rate we coordinated our schedules between our new different cotton fields. He told me he would need me to pick him up, which was fine considering he is helping with a random artist vision of mine of a nigga in the woods.
No really, thats was the vision.
I went to go pick him up on a not so cold as fuck December day. It was nice to see him again, it was. The last time I saw him was during super slave season when he quit that raggedy ass cotton field. I drove up to the location where I did the mermaid saga, but on the other side. I had walked the other side a few times during the unemployed summer of 2018. It was a bit difference from the other side, the key difference of having a well, a bridge, and some type of camp site that may or may not have been haunted.
We jumped right into it. Now equipped with new knowledge of how my fucking lens worked, I found myself switching between all 3 of my lens. It is nice to be loaded with new information, but the lens switching process became tedious after a while as we traversed through the dead leaf trail.
Honestly that may be the most conflict in this whole issue, and I’m ok with that.
Wait no, at some point I saw that the fucking well was no longer there. Aggravated, aggravated as fuck. That was so key in my mind. Nigga I was bothered. Like angry Vegeta yelling bothered. UGGGGH.
Niggas out here really taking the time to disassemble a well. There is a whole ass super virus fucking up humanity and you raggedy motha fuckas wanna break a well. Bitch go buy some legos and do some other shit.
Ok, I’m done.
As we walked to the other side he started to tell me about his love life. The crushes, the heartbreaks, the emotions felt and the cascade of sorrow that swept him under at times. It was very touching, and the emotions he felt as he told his story translated on his face as he shot him.
You never really know someone until you walk with them in the woods and take their pictures for an artistic vision of yours.
When it was all done I drove him back home, said our goodbyes, and laid the fuck down. At this time Masta had me shucking and jiving at 4 fucking am. NIGGAS ARE TIIIIIED.
That is actually the last photoshoot of the trying times of 2020. WOOOOOOO, lucky I survived it. Legit lucky I survived it, shit was a long ass black mirror episode no one asked to be part of.
Speaking of photoshoots (of the sorts), I had my fourth art show today. Man a nigga yeeted today. Literally as we were about to leave a swarm of bikers came toward the end, just to get pictures of us.\
ON KAMI NIGGA. I’ve never felt so flabbergasted in my life. A literal group of people I’ve never met in my life came to support me and my 2 friends who are local artist. Shit is pretty dope. I need to get better in being in front of the camera. I’m use to being behind it in case you haven’t noticed.
I guess I we are at the point in the JRPG journey were I need to level up my in front of camera stats.
I don’t know if thats a thing, but right now in this moment we are going to make it a thing.
This has been a sporadic and slaveful as summer,at least for me. FUCK. Kanye West Spaceship is legit playing both in my head and on my Spotify Can my Azure Ascendance spaceship come in and so I can fly away and do art things instead.
This saga actually isn’t complicated, compared to some of the others I’ve shared. Its just more so a matter of waiting.
It literally started Spring 2017 with a white girl.
But Jano, how did it go from white girl to your friend we have seen model for you 3 times who clearly isn’t white?
Well if you shut the fuck up you will find out :).
At some point in Spring 2017 when I was unemployed as fuck, yep that unemployment streak that started January 2016. MAN that was an arduous time.
I random white girl followed me on IG. At the time I was not posting anything on any social media platform. At the time my mindset I wasn’t gonna post anything until I got a full time job finally…
HA I was foolish.
Anyway because of that some of the most recent things I posted were photos of cosplay images. She DM’d me saying she would like to do a cosplay shoot, and me at the time who has not done one yet was down.
What followed was a series of events that made me more so loose patience with humanity, more so.
For those who weren’t paying attention, I wasn’t employed at the time.Employment didn’t happen until mid April and lasted until Early June. Followed by me being unemployed for 2 weeks, working for a month, then unemployed again until September. All of which, except for the 1st weekend of new slavery, I had the weekends off.
I would hit her up multiple times, and yet despite it being her idea she was never available. I appreciated her actually replying but at the same time I was irked. From the time period of Mid July to September, asking became ridiculous. She would tell me that she had alot going on, but then her IG stories would have a caption of going to meet a photographer. Days later it would be photos up of her in the outfit from the IG stories from said photographers.
Ya’ll listen, the older I get the less fucks I give.
I’m not gonna continue to chase people down for something that was their idea. I’m not.That mindset translate into a lot of things these days. I don’t have the time nor patience from it.
If you have an idea that you want done, and you don’t make an effort to make it happen. I.E. if I keep asking and the only thing you tell me is you’ll let me know, I’ll let it go.
During the mermaid saga when I finally had my model solidified. I told my homegirl about the aforementioned treachery, and she told she would do a cosplay photoshoot for me.
So let me publicly gush for once. She is legit my favorite model out of all the people I worked with.
She is, she drove down to help me out multiple times to help me fulfill my art dreams and was willing to do it again. I’m sorry none of you others can compare to her at all. Some of you may be mad, but I don’t give a fuck. If I actually get to shoot any of them more than once for another idea of mine I will be surprised. So to my homegirl I want to say you are the best, and I’m glad we met at that winter comic convention in 2013. Whenever I see you again I owe you food for all the times you helped when I was unemployed, plus you left your brush here.
Tender moments are over.
Back to this journey.
Even though she had agreed to help me out, it wasn’t that a simple thing. No major reason, just schedule conflicts. We both were working retail, and even when my schedule switched to weekend availability in the Spring of 2018 she still wasn’t able to make it down. Which sucked because I did have an idea to do it during the Spring while the trees were blooming new leaves for the year after a frigid callous winter.
Eventually August 2018, it happened after the original agreement was formed in September 2017. The day came and she arrived at my house, it took a minute before we actually did the shoot. I was recovering from a lush filled night, ironically enough when I did the masquerade shoot it was the day after I drank on a Sunday in August too.
She prepared herself make up wise, while I got my equipment ready. I drove to downtown where I envisioned this happening. The weather was perfect, as in I didn’t have to worry about her dying from heat exhaustion. It was a cloudy chill day so neither of us would sweat our spirits away.
Nothing extraordinary happened. She knew more about the character than I do, so my usual look at Pintrest for posing ideas was useless. The only other things that happened was that children thought that she was kool and wanted pictures with her. There was this one nigga, who was exactly that a nigga. I regret letting him take a photo with her, his last words were that picture will get ya’ll famous.
Negro please I didn’t even edit that nonsense.
I reject thou niggatry with the greatest power of the force.
We ended the shoot since she hadn’t eaten all day. We had talked about doing a night shoot but that didn’t happen. Partially because I was afraid it would be a repeat of what happened in Incandescent Spirits, the other half was because niggas were tired as fuck. OMG, I really need to start stretching before I shoot people I do.
At any rate, we went to get something to eat. She introduced me to Poke’bowls and Poke’ Burritoes. OMFG, they are so great. Blessed Be Korean food. We went back to my house and hung out, while she played her favorite songs.
Ugh, I just remembered how she played that foolishness of Kanye West Lift Yourself…OMG. I legit didn’t think it was him, and I’m upset I heard it.. A far from cry from Spaceship I mentioned earlier.
Someone save Kanye from Kanye
At any rate to see the images from that day click here.
On another note, this is actually the photoshoot I did of 2018. Not by choice, not by choice at all. As far “Infinity Stones” go, at this point I have 3 of the 6 I am determined to get. Other shoots were supposed to happen, but ya know life and peoples fickleness.
Moral of the story, Don’t trust white girls who slide and your DM’s. As well don’t chase anyone down when it is their idea.
Next issue will take place in 2019. I am almost caught up with time…or something…whatever…..
MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed. Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival. Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.
And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.
YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice
This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.
Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.
So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.
In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life. Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.
I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.
I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.
You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.
Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.
This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.
Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.
Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid,a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.
I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.
Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.
Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies. We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.
For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.
But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?
Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose. At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house. Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera. Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.
None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.
But Jano why don’t you decorate?
Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.
I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.
Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.
I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.
But Jano, didn’t you practice?
Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.
Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem
We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her. The ironic part is that for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.
As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras. Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did. Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.
Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.
Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.
But for right now I am going to wash my hair.
Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.
First off, ya’ll Stan Lee is dead. Like Dead, like Thanos snapped away his life with the Infinity Gauntlet dead. Usually I don’t give a damn when a celebrity dies, but this shit, this shit right here nigga blew my mind. Imagine getting off work, checking your phone and seeing that an old white man you never met but who had a hand in some of the geeky intellectual properties is dead. Nigga. I had a chance to meet him at Heroes Con 2012 but the line to meet him was tooooo fucking long and I had to meet my college friends in Greensboro for a bday party that day. Plus real shit I didn’t have 90 dollars to spare. Le sigh.
Second. Winter is coming and it feels like institutional racism and the harshest oppression. There is a legit lament and heart felt yearning for it to be 90 degrees and me being unemployed like I was for four months this year as I wake up before the sun and drive through frigid temperatures.Oh god it fucking hurts. Blargh it all.
I wanted to do this issue earlier this month, but work makes me so tired that I don’t want to type anything significant lately. Kinda sad.
So at this point I got the witch concept knocked out the park and had two more concepts I wanted to bring to life. A masquerade theme. I legit don’t know where this came from, part of it was probably because of the internet. That darn internet and its random elements that I want to incorporate into an amalgamated theme. The initial idea hit me around May 2017 and shortly after the model hunt began.
MAN fuck this model hunt. That shit is the worse. So there was a girl I was following on IG, who I decided to message initially and she was like I’m interested. I was legit excited like damn you replied? damn you said yes? word?
But then I never heard from her again. Of course.
People would reply on Craigslist, honestly none of them were what I wanted at all. I was scrolling on my timeline again on IG and decided to ask this other girl I follow after I saw she did some modeling photos. Honestly what I liked about her was her colorful hair. Thats it, her face was ok. Nothing special. She had a basic white becky face but she was colorful.
Spoiler Alert; I told you these issues will be filled with shade, salt and sarcasm.
She was down for the idea. At some point I asked what color boa would she prefer to wear during the shoot and she told me blue. So next check I brought the boa and had an arts and crafts night,. I had some pink feathers I brought summer 2016 and tied into the boa. The masquerade mask I had from my birthday party in 2015, I applied gems and feathers to it as well.
Ya’ll, when I say I never heard from this pale face basic becky bitch again.I never heard from her again in my mother fucking life.
Jano, Maybe she never got the messages.
Nah, that bitch left me on read. I hope herpes eat her heart muscles while Paramore plays in the background as she grasps for air while she scratches her chest ferociously. Cunt.
After I wrote this bitch off mentally, I remembered I had asked one of my friends to model for me summer 2016, and she said yea. I decided to see if she was still down, she was. WOOT. Yay for people you become friends with during your art journey. Back in 2011, I saw an ad in Creative Loafing about a sketch group that met at Showmars and I started going. She was a waitress and we became friends. Origin story over.
I told her about the idea, the location and what I had prop wise. The only thing we really had to decide was the date. Since I was unemployed at the time that wasn’t an issue for me. Another factor was the fucking rain, summer rain was legit forecasted every…..fucking….day.
And sometimes it wouldn’t even fucking rain. THE FUCK!!!
We picked a Sunday and it was magical. Well kinda. Two of my friends had a party the night before and I didn’t get drunk, its just that I slept in a weird position in their chair. So I really didn’t sleep, but at least I didn’t drive intoxicated so that’s something. Right?
But Nigga I was in pain the next day. She drove from Monroe to help me out. Nigga, Monroe, NC. And bitches here couldn’t even answer a message. She changed and we went to NODA. The goal was to go early because it was supposed to be hot as fuck that day. So to avoid super slave heat we went before noon, so it was only semi slave heat. She told me she never really modeled before, but for someone who never really modeled before she did a really good job. More so since I couldn’t full annunciate my ideas from lack of sleep and she filled in the blanks instantly so YAAAAAAASSS to that. Some shots I couldn’t get because I overestimated my lens. But overall I got most of the shots I wanted.
To see the images from that day with my friend with a pretty face and colorful hair click. here.
Anyway thats it for now. Next Issue will be the last issue of the year and filled with oh so much shade you would think that Unicron and Galactus is hovering the planet. Google it if you didn’t get the reference. Who would have thought searching for a mermaid would be so much fucking trouble.
Passing out now, 5am comes early. FUCK. I just want to not pick cotton for the rest of my life. There is a unique solace in being unemployed and it being 90 degrees.
Holy Fuck it actually feels like fall outside, a month later after its initial arrival. I legit will miss summer minus the days it felt like having skin wasn’t necessary. Along with several other things from this past summer.
Things like what Jano?
Well not being employed, living with someone who didn’t clean after themselves, and fickle ass models. Which brings us to the subject of this issue, nice segue right?
So this summer I decided to expand my portfolio with four specific ideas. Two of which were inspired by me JUST now seeing The Craft movie ( I know I’m 20 years late), a masquerade style shoot and a mermaid. What should have taken a few weeks literally turned into a four month fucking god damn journey. Holy fucking fuck.
After an unnecessary amount of bullshit from fickle ass people, I finally brought these ideas to life. I am legit satisfied as fuck with the four who helped me out, They are the real damn MVP.
But Jano what about those who were fickle as fuck with you?
I don’t give a fuck about their lives and they can get raped by a gaggle of squirrels, catch AIDS, and get their vaginas bashed with a bag of rocks superglued with glass fragments. They are completely useless to me and should be gone from my sight. Spoiler alert, no apologies at all. I’m actually pretty darn chill until you waste my time.
I’ll go into more details when I reach these shoots in my timeline, but for right now I just wanted to give a preview of what is to come. In other news I am about to start inking Act 2 of my comic series, Azure Ascendance. On another note it is amazing how much better I can focus now that I don’t live with a filthy odorous ogre.
Man there is a lot of salt in this issue, oh well. Consider your eyes seasoned for the day 🙂
In non salty news, I legit love the new Star Trek Discovery. The Gifted is ok so far, what the fuck is this Mutant Holocaust they keep alluding to? As far as this season of Gotham I hope it isn’t trash, legit getting possible trash vibes. Not as trashy as Boruto, that shit is growing flies daily. Sadly it will probably go on for another 10 years, it can’t be worse than Dragon Ball Gt, right? Never mind that may be a thing.
Man, now that I got all of this salt out of my system I feel like a person again. I’m still an asshole, but ya know a friendly asshole.