Well this isn’t this awkward, not the Charles Hamilton Cd but like actually awkward. I haven’t said anything in a good few month since the season 2 finale. This isn’t public speaking, but damn I legit don’t know how to start this off.
Legit just heard a voice that said TAKE YA TIME PASTOR!!
For me that means I’ll just word vomit as Friday Night Plans plays in the background. OMG I love her so much.I do.
A lot has happened since the last issue. When I say a lot I mean a lot. This is my first Saturday when I have not left the house in fucking months. I will start off by saying I didn’t go speak at my homegirls daughters school like i was asked to, things got busy on my end. Maybe next time on DBZ I’ll get to inspire the youth with my JRPG level art journey. Now that will beyond awkward, for me at least. Spoiler Alert, I am not a role model ya’ll, I’m not….at least I don’t think so. But it is possible that I inspire someone the way anime and comics inspired me, and still do.
Money also inspires me, and not having to work at bullshit cotton fields.My toxic treat is that I hope the cotton field I shuck and jive at closes down and I’m not too tired to work on my comic series. And there ya have it folks the segue to what this issue is about.
I just finished an issue, so by Yeet Gawd logic I release an issue. It makes sense right? Side note, I legit finished this issue in 2017. Again I say I don’t know why I took so long to release it, but it prob was a good thing. One of my friends has been reviewing my grammar since I’m not smarter than 5th grader. See kids when you work bullshit jobs that don’t involve grammatical skills, you forget simple things like where do you insert a comma. I wish i was lying but NOPE.
As of right now she has reviewed issues 1-13. The next batch i send her will be issues 14-20, but that is when I’m completely done with this epic. I just finished issue 15 and as of right now I have 240 pages. Here is hoping the last 5 will feel like doing the first 5.
My goal is to abstain from doing art shows and being a merchant as much as I can, because this past year I was really on tour. I can be satiated being out of the public eye to work on my magnum opus. Doing shows is a lot, a lot my nigga. We can talk about that next time tho. But once I finish this series in its entirety I prob will release issues in a faster method.
Did anyone go yay? Or is that feeling of ain’t no one checking for me correct.
Hey Google play Feel by Kendrick Lamar.
Sorry existential September is on the way and that wave has been washing over my ankles lately and my socks are drenched.
At any rate issue 5 is here and thus the end of Act 1 of this JRPG level story.
Watatsumi and Kagutsuchi arrive and time to stop Abyssals rampage. But now they must face the one who is responsible for this ordeal. Secrets will finally be revealed as emotions fly high on the battlefield.
In the deep bowels of my spirit I think November went by entirely too fucking fast. It did. There is no reason for it to be 1 week before thanksgiving when this month just fraggin started.
At least the academic rape like sessions akin to my UNCG undergrad years of October are over. Sadly so is Fairy Tail, I just finished it last night. Kinda sad…BUT apparently a new season is coming next year. YEET.
And Bleach is coming back. BIG FUCKING YEET.
Enough of my usual pre flashback tangent. Time for another Tale of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure *cue music.
This issue begins back in 1998 on Planet Namek.
Nigga what the fuck??
Don’t worry there are time leaps. Anyway as I was saying it was Spring 1998. Goku just landed on Namek, defeated Recoome, and Vegeta dropped the term for the first time in an English dub. The world waited for what seems like an eternity (especially when you are 14) for the next episode of DBZ when Goku fought Burter and Jeice of the Ginyu Force. In summer 1999, VHS tapes of the last part of the Freeza saga started to be released. And my geek ass def start buying them as soon as they dropped. $24.00 per fucking tape with 3-4 episodes.
Man those purchases aged badly when said out loud.
Fall 1999 came. I was a sophomore in high school and i was approached by someone walking to the bus I legit never knew in life. He asked if i was ______, and i was like yea. He had heard I had the new season of DBZ tapes and i said yea.
Side note, life was so fucking simple then. Holy fucking fuck.
Anyway we formed a friendship founded in anime, and have still been friends since the tender age of 14.
AWWWWW tender moments.
Fast forward to Spring 2021.
He had hit me up one day as I was leaving the slave pit Jeff Bezos slave pit. He asked me could I do headshots of his girlfriend. I told him yea I actually have a light set which I have never used.
Yep, I got Christmas money for it in 2016 but I never had an opportunity to use it at all. I practiced on one of my friends kinda in 2017, but it wasn’t that deep.
We made a plans for the following Sunday, so that weekend i decided this may be a good time to practice since it is actually going to be used for an actual client.
Blessed be youtube. On Kami.
Sunday came, and i went to his place after I left the slave pit, changed and got my equipment.
Him and I chatted as I prepared everything. Practice makes perfect kids. Legit didn’t struggle as much this time settling up as the first time I did. I took test shots with my lights in various ways to minimize the harshness of the shadow being casted. Eventually his girlfriend came out and we started.
She was nervous at first. I told her to relax as best she can because it will show on her face and its not flattering.
It didn’t take long for her to relax and get comfortable. I encouraged to play some music and envision yourself as someone you admire. Sometimes I actually am inspirational when I’m not talking shit.
And that was it. The shoot lasted for an hour, despite that i took a plethora of photos as usual. When I was editing I realized I need to buy a damn tripod because there was no reason for some of those images to be blurry.
None, no such fuckin reason existed.
Hey Google, Play Joe Public live and learn.
As i said the issues that are drama free are the ones when its a client. The one’s where i am chasing an artistic vision my ancestors inserted in my head, MaAAAAAAN its like an anime arc or a final battle rpg fight.
Sephirtoth level shit…which I still need to beat.
The rest of the time i was there we all hung out, he showed me the Snyder cut of Justice league. Which …i just remembered I need to finish that. I meant to but, yea life said fuck your summer plans nigga. fuck your plans nigga. *Dave Chappele Rick James fuck your couch voice.
At any rate to see my LinkedIn level images i snapped click here.
Next month is another client so it isn’t complicated. Avril Lavinge would be proud.
Anyone catch that? no? ok fuck yall.
I’m going try to relax without passing out…if that is a thing.
Moral of story, friendships formed in anime lead to opportunities that help your dreams…or some shit.
Well here we are March 2021, a whole year into a pandemic.
Terrifying and sobering as well. I’m glad I gave up hope of going to concerts and anime cons again. At this point wondering when this pandemic is going to end is like how many episodes there are left until Namek explodes. Just long as shit for no valid reason.
Time for another care free issue with less drama than any previous issue, Rpg or anime I’ve watched in general.
Side Quest time.
It is weird typing issues like this. But also, Spoiler alert, I’m still in the search of the last 2 “infinity stones” that I began in 2017.
UGH. We can talk about that whenever the fuck I get there….hopefully soon. Watch me finish my comic series and my infinity gauntlet around the same time…prob next year. This is all I live for. Wait, is that why some of ya’ll are still tuning in each month? Am I your new favorite saga, Jano Bizarre’s Art Adventure.
AWWW SHIT NIGGA!!!
Need a reminder of said stones before I continue? Sure take a gander or reminder depending how often you have been to my website. I should name these stones while I’m at, right?
So here we are summer of the trying times of 2020, corona has crippled the world. Literally. Activities are limited, bodies are crippled and demolished by the fiend known as corona. Meanwhile protest for social justice spread like wild fire, since cops seem to literally get away with murder for killing black people.
If this sounds like an intro to a dystopian nightmare it is because it was the trying times of 2020, spoiler alert.
I had finished coloring act 2 of my comic series, and decided that my break needed a break. After months of my back curling up like a snail shell design.I decided to focus on helping the nonprofit I am apart of, called Back to Black.
But Jano what is Back to Black?
WELL, essentially it is a non profit organization whose goal it is to help improve the black community. It was started by my friend who I met at UNC Greensboro. One day in Fall 2019 I was picking up an order from her hair and beauty store, because ya know I need to stay pretty and have my curls flowing.
We decided to get dinner the next day catch up and talk about things, and she told me about her non profit dreams to help the black community. I told her you need to pursue the vision you were given, because if not there is no point in having them.
A month later when we met up for a college friends bday, I found out she added me to her staff. MAN I was not ready, at all. I have non profit experience from the past decade of cotton field experience, but still.
Moral of the Story, sometimes I can be inspiring when I am not talking shit.
Fast forward to last summer, so I guess we are now just…rewinding….wait how does this work?
Anyway. She had planned to do a photoshoot for the clothing line we were launching. The initial goal was to use our fellow staff members, but life was like nah.
Insert me, and having friends. There is a 90s after school lesson somewhere.
I hit up my friend who helped me get the 90s stone….I really need to think of better name for these stones. I asked her would she, her boyfriend and other friends be willing to model for us. The concept was simple, black people living their best life and be unapologetically black. They agreed luckily, because this literally was a last minute thing. We met up at Camp North End under the scorching summer sun. It was a pretty chill event actually….despite the sun emitting full oppression nigger heat.
Like I said this this isn’t a dramatic thing, no long expose’s, no existential dread.None, no such things exist…
In this issue.
We decided to do another one at another time, but in downtown Charlotte a few weeks later.
And that’s it. Fade to black. End scene.
Wait, not yet. But thats all for the events of this issue. To check out the byproducts from the day the sun enter the group chat go forth here. Also check out the music page and CBD hemp store of one of the models.
I know I said this at the beginning of my summer issues last year, but nigga its hot. Full Nigger heat is in effect, its more so aggravating since I can actually afford to use my ac this year and the shit is broke. American Home Shield is literally pissing me the fuck off.
Anyway. Let me not be a literal heated black man right now, at least one damn regard.
So this is one of those special issue things that wasn’t in the forecast for this year, but it is here now so fuck it.
To be honest this isn’t my first time going to ConCarolinas.
The first time I went was in 2014 but only for the room parties in the Hilton Hotel that it was being hosted at. I had no idea the con existed at all. I saw some other friends and made one I still talk to. While I was with them I saw George RR Martin, also didn’t know at the time who the fuck he was. But my friends did and they were like OMG thats the guy who made Game of Thrones, meanwhile I hadn’t heard of that either. Look Niggas I live in cave, is that established now? Good.
The next time I went was last year for the same reason. But this year it was for the actual con.
My favorite and only actress friend England Simpson, hit me up about having a guest pass and of course I was like Yasss, I’m so down. The day came and figured it would be a to wear my new DBZ Freeza Saga shirt. Yes I spell Freeza’s name that way and not Frieza the Amerikkka way.
Anyway I arrive at the Con and I try to figure out where is my VIP pass that would have me feeling like a boss. I call her to let her know that I was in the building as I scoured around the venue. Side Note a pass really isn’t necessary at all, security was pretty lax to the point of non existence. But I’ll take that VIP Pass to feel like my Black Life Matters for once.
While I’m waiting for her, I overheard a group of people say her name. Usually I pay no mind to others conversations but for some reason I was like Huh, did someone say the name of my homegirl?
Not sure why I did that, but whatever. They were trying to remember her full name and I filled in the blanks. I introduced myself and then kept walking around because I am so awkward as fuck for no reason.
At some point I saw one of my homeboys who has a Guardian of Geekery podcast. Literally haven’t seen or talked to him in a year because adult friendships are hard kids. Spoiler Alert.
England came down shortly after, we got my badge and just walked around the venue. She spoke to other con goers and they were impressed by the panel she did the night before. From the sound of it I missed out, yay cotton field exhaustion causes me to miss out on all the kool things. We checked out the dealers room, saw the R2 D2 unit we saw last year.I asked her to take a picture of it with me. YEET.
The day went on as her, her family and I walked around until it was time to be part of a panel discussion. Also side note at this point I started to get hungry, so I started to zone in and out of life while planning of what I wanted to put in my mouth.
The first panel was about the adversity they have faced while attempting to be casted in films and such. Side note in case you haven’t paying attention England was the only black woman on the panel, everyone else white, white, white with sprinkles, white with wrinkles, and all white with privilege. Personally I was hoping for that Childish Gambino Stay woke ballad playing as they were illuminated by her truth, but instead they attempted to use their rationale to explain why things occurred the way they do.
Some white people can understand Namekian, Dothraki, Klingon, and R2D2’s native tongue but can’t understand white privilege at all.
Anyway, my hunger consumed me more and I mentally checked out of this underwhelming discussion. We left to go grab food and at some point some random person waved and I was like um me. It was one of those random people I spoke to earlier. The bad thing is I legit introduced myself to this girl, but never solidified her face in my head. Not gonna lie, didn’t think I was gonna see her again.
She was sitting with her mother and they reveled they were looking for her. The mother told her you have the full rights to illuminate her audience with what you have been through, regardless if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not since the people who gave you those experiences didn’t care for your comfort. Meanwhile I talked to aforementioned daughter about her personal journey in film, all while being hungry as fuck.
Look I’m sorry, but I was hungry as fuck ok. Having a convo while my brain saying feed me nigga feed me, is impressive.
Anyway fast foward, they exchanged contact info and recently met up to talk about stuff and thangs which hopefully have a ripple effect for all parties involved. Especially me since I kinda am the reason they met.
YAAAAAAS. Go Jano Go.
Anyway we ate from this food truck, and then we attended another panel that was about Microfilm. Annnnnnd…
Yea no lie, I wasn’t paying that much attention. Sooooo *hits fast foward button.
Ok and that was pretty much it con wise. England was exhausted meanwhile I was still kinda awake. I took my equipment to my car and decided to check out this party this girl told me about during the con.
Ya’ll listen. I have been to lots of white parties in my day.Lots of them, but this was the first one where I heard my ancestors go
Nigga get out.
And I learned when the voice of your ancestors tell you to leave, you get the fuck out. Flashes of the episode of Dear White People when Reggie almost got killed came to mind and yea I couldn’t shake that. So I left.
The first year where I didn’t attend the hotel parties but the actual con.
Anyway to see the images from that day click here.
Before we get back to our regular scheduled program of Jano’s Photo Journey there is another issue coming this month.
Spoiler Alert, it has been a long time coming.
Anyway thats it for now, I gotta do my hair.It is a dry fucking mess, my ancestors would not be proud.
Also since Black Mermaids are trending, go check out my mermaid saga. Especially if you aren’t out here looking ridiculous saying that mermaids can’t be black.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.