Here we are. You and I gazing into an abyss of the internet as I post a new page in my Bizarre Art Journey.
Nigga What???
I don’t know, i didn’t really have an actual opening plan so I just started spouting words.
As if.
Tonight we have a special occasion. I am releasing a new issue of comic series.
YEEEEEEET.
Small confession, I have literally been done with Issues 1-5 since Summer 2017.
But Jano why haven’t you been releasing them at a faster rate?
Legitly there is no real reason. Although I am glad I didn’t because just recently a friend went through the aforementioned issues and pointed out my grammatical errors. So much gringe. This is what happens when you work bullshit slave jobs after graduating, your sense of grammar and proper sentence structure dies.
So just in case you ever wondered why these issues have so many run on sentences and what not that is why.
As I was saying I don’t have an exact reason why I haven’t been releasing them, I don’t. Part of me wanted to have the whole series done, another part wanted to have a certain gap between issues. Now I literally have a ten issue gap seeing that i just finished coloring issue 13. As of right now I have only seven issues left with a total of 319 pages.
Spoiler Alert, this is only going to be a 20 issue series. If you wanted a new Naruto, DBZ, Sailormoon, Bleach or One piece this def isn’t it.
But i’m legit looking forward to finally coloring the next 7 issues, especially considering I did issues 11-20 in the summer of 2018.
Yea…So in case you haven’t figured it out coloring has been a journey. I blame cotton field fatigue for it all. What I hoped to finish in 4 years from the fall of 2016 has not manifested.
Issues 1-5 were done by spring 2017, issue 6 June 2019, Issue 7-10 summer 2020 (thanks lockdown), Issues 11-13 Fall 2020-Fall 2021.
Ugh. So much fucking ugh.
But since I actually have my book in a local bookstore and I just did the QC Zine fest, where people actually expressed interest in my book. I may actually try to release these in a faster rate. Maybe 1 every 2 months? Maybe, no promises. Hopefully I’ll be done with this JRPG saga before the releases catch up.
*does math…2025, that is if i drop an issue every 2 months from this point on. On kami if i’m not done with this saga by then I’m trash, legit trash.
Hey Google, play Charles Hamilton Loser.
Side note, if you are wondering what the final villain is gonna look like. Head towards my boutique and look at the current tshirt and prints I have for sale.
Super Final Battle JRPG Vibes bro.
With all that out of the way I present Level 3 of my comic book series Azure Ascendance.
*starts narrator voice
A battle royal begins. Coco, Boumei, Raiken, Coral and Kuchihige battle fiercely as Princess Yosei is still passed out from her recent ordeal. Meanwhile Watatsumi finds out the true identity of her masked savior. Truths are revealed as a battle rages on in another part of Azure while a new foe waits to ravage bodies indiscriminately.
*ends narrator voice
The intensity continues to build in this story my ancestors told me to write in a medium I was fond of growing up. At usual I have a preview page so that you can view.
And as usual you can find this issue on my publications page along with the back issues. I have the full witches intent to put an issue out every 2 months, especially since now this little hermit has people who are interested in this saga I’ve created. I need to do another show to keep this momentum growing.
As Namie Amuro…This is for all my fans.
Maaaan if I get people cosplaying my characters and get this animated I will yeet so hard I may cum.
MAN alot has happened since the last time I wrote to y’all.
A whole fucking lot.
2020 was the unmitigated shit show that no one wanted. But here we are, most of us…..
For those who didn’t catch the …, I was alluding to all those who have died due to the Coronavirus…and racism, fucking racism.
Concerts got cancelled. FUCK. I was supposed to see Jhene Aiko, Halsey, Snoh, Aalegra, and R.LUM.R. Probably more but ya know humanity proved unequivocally that they won’t do anything to survive.
LIES FUCKING LIES.
But despite all the chaos of 2020, I found a way to clear a path for my art journey. Priorities folks, priorities.
A week after my bday in March, thats when shit hit the fan at my previous cotton field. And when that shit splattered I took my chance to hide under a tent of what was left of the toilet paper.
Side note, can someone please explain to me why the fuck all the toilet paper was being hoarded. Why the FUCK was that a thing?
Anyway.
Cottonfield 10 decided to comply with my cities lockdown orders, thus not counting attendance against us for the next month. So guess who did not go to the cottonfield, not I said the hybrid, not I. Well I did but only to drop off my girlfriend off since she has more of a reason to go. Me, I’m just a lowly field nigga.
But me, me nigga I rested. It felt great not to have to go to a place where my throat swelled up despite allergy medicine and masks efforts. I watched so many shows, on Kami. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is the legit most beautiful ridiculous anime I have seen. Ill be glad when the next part gets on Hulu. Baby Yoda is so fucking cute, Community was Hilarious. Alot of shows were watched, movies seen for the first time over the next few months. I won’t go through them all but if you are that interested then you can go through my tags for this post.
But most importantly I worked on my comic series, yea the thing that has took a deep stake in my heart since 4 years ago. For those who weren’t paying attention I reached an impasse because of CottonField 10. Simply put I was so fucking tired, SO FUCKING TIRED. 2019 to early 2020 I probably only did at least 1 and a half issues, which was the rest of Issue 6 and most of Issue 7. Frustration doesn’t even describe how I felt.
Shout out to Corona for giving me the chance to color all night like I did in 2016.
But of course all good things come to an end. Masta sent out a message to us slaves early May saying attendance was about to be mandatory again. Had the pandemic ended? Spoiler Alert, it didn’t. Actually it is still very much thriving, like the plague of yesteryears.
But shirts take a priority over peoples health I guess, yay capitalism.
Despite that new mandate via electronic pigeons, I dreaded going back. My spirit said nah Nigga. You need to understand, I loathed CottonField 10 as much as Cottonfield 4. Maybe it was the swelling of my throat, maybe it was because no one in my position was ever going to get a raise, maybe it was the new 3 day 12 hr shifts that exhausted me more so on top of the only way to get my 40 hrs was to work a 4th day at the full 12 hour capacity. But I hated that place, contemplating what the fuck am I doing with my life, loathing that I couldn’t work on my book the way I wanted, the existential ennui I felt standing in front of a dryer wondering WTF am I doing with my life.
Fun Right.
Instinctually my spirit said don’t go back. If I went back I would be condemning my spirit and my throat. Pay checks be damned, especially when they are mediocre and stable to a point.
A snake popped in my vision. Relax not a real one but a spirit snake for lack of better words.
Some of you don’t speak witch and it shows.
I know I’ve lost some people, but if you made it to this point you may as well keep reading. That Friday I decided to take a walk at the park where I shot my mermaid adventures. Ironically the date of that Friday was the same date and day as me graduating from college, May 15. I walked around and again I saw that snake, but the skin shed to white as I contemplated my life. I googled white snake symbolism and what I got was transformation and rebirth.
My mind was made up. I quit that blasted slave pit.
I quit on good terms, gave some amalgamated mesh of why I can’t stay. Along the lines of why I left, that I didn’t want to catch it and pass it on to my elder family members. Blah Blah Blah. And just like that I was out.
NIGGA I YEETED. I would have yeeted more if they gave me my unemployment, but fuck them. I hope to never see them again. Side note, my girlfriend told me there was so many cases of Corona every week. As soon Lockdown wave 1 ended they went back to their bullshit slave practices of forcing everyone to be in the same area.
But me personally, I was good. I colored to my hearts content, more so when my girlfriend got me a new chair. MAAAAAN listen my cheeks were so relieved they yeeted. So fucking relieved. I had some revisions to do, 2017 should be slapped for just hastily throwing stuff on paper. Slapped so hard. but I finally finished Act 2.
OMFG, I’m literally at the half way point. 10 issues down. 10 issues to go.
I should have kept going, but back pain was a thing. When July hit I took a hiatus to ya know live. Play video games, finally hacked my PSP that I got 11 years ago when I graduated college.
That was um a process to say the least. bricked it a few times. But I got it, at some point. Joy is playing Phantasy Star 4, and beating it. Especially when you were stuck at one part as a child.
RPG JOY BITCHES!!!
Beat Spiderman, Discovered AWICH, (YEET TO HER LIFE), did non profit work, went to Charleston finally, back to Atlanta because of the aquarium we saw in Charleston, Kayaked, climbed a mountain, taught photography to someone who helped me get one of the Infinity Stones, tried new recipes, read some books, got inspired by things for my next set of random ass drawings.Ya know all the simple things that ya don’t get to do when you are exhausted from a cotton field.
On Kami. On the Kami of all YEETS. If could just be unemployed and work on my art I would. Literally looking forward to my next unemployment stint.
I’m working at a place I never really wanted to work at again, but money is needed and I needed to loose weight from the past few months. I really became a chunky fuck. EWWWWW.
So October I restarted being a slave again, at a horrible fucking hour. The next place I shuck and jive at I hope I can wake up after the fucking sun. Thats all I ask bro. My comic work took a back seat to financial catch up, car registration and getting money for presents.
Ugh Life be like.
But my slave schedule changes soon, eventually I’ll be back to staying up all night while coloring as Spotify blares in the background. Nice to have to something to look forward to ya know.
Do I have any real hopes for 2021. nah bruh. I just wanna return status to zero by finishing all my art projects, enjoy concerts again, go to AfroPunk FINALLY, go to anime and comic cons, see my friends, not have anxiety attacks when I go out in public, survive a mutant super virus that has been ravishing the world for the past year, ya know the simple things.
I wish I could say I have alot of content for ya’ll, but I don’t. The typical Jano luck of photoshoots happening despite being talked about still ran true in 2020 as previous years. Actually I had planned on posting this issue when I did the photo and try to be con current with my life but obviously that didn’t happen.
Moral of the Story; If you hate the cotton field you shuck and jive and you get a chance to leave, leave that bitch if you can. ON KAMI. They don’t give a fuck about you or your life, and if you leave they will replace you like you never existed. Follow your dreams and take care of yourself.
It is the way.
This will probably be the most positive thing I say on this platform.
Maybe. Depends on how life goes.
At any rate thats all for now. I just woke up. Here’s hoping 2021 has way less fuckery than 2020, for the culture.
Spiderman on Ps4 is a great game, I haven’t beaten it at all but I like what I’ve done so far. I def need to finish Final Fantasy 7 before I fully emerge myself into this masterpiece.
Speaking of Masterpieces
I’m finally releasing Azure Ascendance Issue 2.
YEET.
But Jano why the delay?
Yea well a lot of things, but thats not really important, ie I don’t feel like typing all that. I will say that I can finally afford the copyright for this issue. Point of the story is that I am releasing the next chapter of my saga which I conceived in the demon year of 2016.
At any rate lets dive into Issue 2.
Watatsumi and other members of the Posei Kingdom recover in the hideout of their unknown masked assailant. As they wonder how they will save Princess Yosei, threats loom within the enemy camp that threaten her life. Will the Posei Kingdom be able to save her in time? Or will Yosei fall prey to more anguish than she has already experienced?
I’m so excited to put the next issue out, I hoping to go at a faster rate. But fuck adulthood and having a job. I wonder is this how TeamFourStar feels when they produce videos.
Anyway to see a preview page, go here. And to actually purchase the issue venture forth to Amazon here.
And with that being said we now go back to our regular scheduled program. In the meantime I’ll be web slinging my spirit away or maybe I’ll finally finish Final Fantasy 7 so that I can enjoy Spiderman without wondering can I beat Sephiroth.
Sidenote, Fuck the whole PDF process that I have to go through to create this issue. The admin process is literally the worse.
Frag this shit, but at the same time I am glad to have it ooze out like juice out of a vagina.
Moist as fuck.
*Crosses Fingers that this gets me closer to having it animated on a streaming services, so I can stop working cotton fields that don’t feed my soul.
I know I said this at the beginning of my summer issues last year, but nigga its hot. Full Nigger heat is in effect, its more so aggravating since I can actually afford to use my ac this year and the shit is broke. American Home Shield is literally pissing me the fuck off.
Anyway. Let me not be a literal heated black man right now, at least one damn regard.
So this is one of those special issue things that wasn’t in the forecast for this year, but it is here now so fuck it.
To be honest this isn’t my first time going to ConCarolinas.
Sorta.
The first time I went was in 2014 but only for the room parties in the Hilton Hotel that it was being hosted at. I had no idea the con existed at all. I saw some other friends and made one I still talk to. While I was with them I saw George RR Martin, also didn’t know at the time who the fuck he was. But my friends did and they were like OMG thats the guy who made Game of Thrones, meanwhile I hadn’t heard of that either. Look Niggas I live in cave, is that established now? Good.
The next time I went was last year for the same reason. But this year it was for the actual con.
My favorite and only actress friend England Simpson, hit me up about having a guest pass and of course I was like Yasss, I’m so down. The day came and figured it would be a to wear my new DBZ Freeza Saga shirt. Yes I spell Freeza’s name that way and not Frieza the Amerikkka way.
Stay woke.
Anyway I arrive at the Con and I try to figure out where is my VIP pass that would have me feeling like a boss. I call her to let her know that I was in the building as I scoured around the venue. Side Note a pass really isn’t necessary at all, security was pretty lax to the point of non existence. But I’ll take that VIP Pass to feel like my Black Life Matters for once.
While I’m waiting for her, I overheard a group of people say her name. Usually I pay no mind to others conversations but for some reason I was like Huh, did someone say the name of my homegirl?
Not sure why I did that, but whatever. They were trying to remember her full name and I filled in the blanks. I introduced myself and then kept walking around because I am so awkward as fuck for no reason.
At some point I saw one of my homeboys who has a Guardian of Geekery podcast. Literally haven’t seen or talked to him in a year because adult friendships are hard kids. Spoiler Alert.
England came down shortly after, we got my badge and just walked around the venue. She spoke to other con goers and they were impressed by the panel she did the night before. From the sound of it I missed out, yay cotton field exhaustion causes me to miss out on all the kool things. We checked out the dealers room, saw the R2 D2 unit we saw last year.I asked her to take a picture of it with me. YEET.
The day went on as her, her family and I walked around until it was time to be part of a panel discussion. Also side note at this point I started to get hungry, so I started to zone in and out of life while planning of what I wanted to put in my mouth.
The first panel was about the adversity they have faced while attempting to be casted in films and such. Side note in case you haven’t paying attention England was the only black woman on the panel, everyone else white, white, white with sprinkles, white with wrinkles, and all white with privilege. Personally I was hoping for that Childish Gambino Stay woke ballad playing as they were illuminated by her truth, but instead they attempted to use their rationale to explain why things occurred the way they do.
Some white people can understand Namekian, Dothraki, Klingon, and R2D2’s native tongue but can’t understand white privilege at all.
Anyway, my hunger consumed me more and I mentally checked out of this underwhelming discussion. We left to go grab food and at some point some random person waved and I was like um me. It was one of those random people I spoke to earlier. The bad thing is I legit introduced myself to this girl, but never solidified her face in my head. Not gonna lie, didn’t think I was gonna see her again.
She was sitting with her mother and they reveled they were looking for her. The mother told her you have the full rights to illuminate her audience with what you have been through, regardless if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not since the people who gave you those experiences didn’t care for your comfort. Meanwhile I talked to aforementioned daughter about her personal journey in film, all while being hungry as fuck.
Look I’m sorry, but I was hungry as fuck ok. Having a convo while my brain saying feed me nigga feed me, is impressive.
Anyway fast foward, they exchanged contact info and recently met up to talk about stuff and thangs which hopefully have a ripple effect for all parties involved. Especially me since I kinda am the reason they met.
YAAAAAAS. Go Jano Go.
Anyway we ate from this food truck, and then we attended another panel that was about Microfilm. Annnnnnd…
Yea no lie, I wasn’t paying that much attention. Sooooo *hits fast foward button.
*Stops cassette.
Ok and that was pretty much it con wise. England was exhausted meanwhile I was still kinda awake. I took my equipment to my car and decided to check out this party this girl told me about during the con.
Ya’ll listen. I have been to lots of white parties in my day.Lots of them, but this was the first one where I heard my ancestors go
Nigga get out.
And I learned when the voice of your ancestors tell you to leave, you get the fuck out. Flashes of the episode of Dear White People when Reggie almost got killed came to mind and yea I couldn’t shake that. So I left.
The first year where I didn’t attend the hotel parties but the actual con.
Anyway to see the images from that day click here.
Before we get back to our regular scheduled program of Jano’s Photo Journey there is another issue coming this month.
Spoiler Alert, it has been a long time coming.
Anyway thats it for now, I gotta do my hair.It is a dry fucking mess, my ancestors would not be proud.
Also since Black Mermaids are trending, go check out my mermaid saga. Especially if you aren’t out here looking ridiculous saying that mermaids can’t be black.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
FUUUUCK!!!!!
*deep breath
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
Riiiiight.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
Yay.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
Again.
UGH,
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
YAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
FUCK.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
*deep breath
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
