Well here we are March 2021, a whole year into a pandemic.
Terrifying and sobering as well. I’m glad I gave up hope of going to concerts and anime cons again. At this point wondering when this pandemic is going to end is like how many episodes there are left until Namek explodes. Just long as shit for no valid reason.
Time for another care free issue with less drama than any previous issue, Rpg or anime I’ve watched in general.
Side Quest time.
It is weird typing issues like this. But also, Spoiler alert, I’m still in the search of the last 2 “infinity stones” that I began in 2017.
UGH. We can talk about that whenever the fuck I get there….hopefully soon. Watch me finish my comic series and my infinity gauntlet around the same time…prob next year. This is all I live for. Wait, is that why some of ya’ll are still tuning in each month? Am I your new favorite saga, Jano Bizarre’s Art Adventure.
AWWW SHIT NIGGA!!!
Need a reminder of said stones before I continue? Sure take a gander or reminder depending how often you have been to my website. I should name these stones while I’m at, right?
So here we are summer of the trying times of 2020, corona has crippled the world. Literally. Activities are limited, bodies are crippled and demolished by the fiend known as corona. Meanwhile protest for social justice spread like wild fire, since cops seem to literally get away with murder for killing black people.
If this sounds like an intro to a dystopian nightmare it is because it was the trying times of 2020, spoiler alert.
I had finished coloring act 2 of my comic series, and decided that my break needed a break. After months of my back curling up like a snail shell design.I decided to focus on helping the nonprofit I am apart of, called Back to Black.
But Jano what is Back to Black?
WELL, essentially it is a non profit organization whose goal it is to help improve the black community. It was started by my friend who I met at UNC Greensboro. One day in Fall 2019 I was picking up an order from her hair and beauty store, because ya know I need to stay pretty and have my curls flowing.
We decided to get dinner the next day catch up and talk about things, and she told me about her non profit dreams to help the black community. I told her you need to pursue the vision you were given, because if not there is no point in having them.
A month later when we met up for a college friends bday, I found out she added me to her staff. MAN I was not ready, at all. I have non profit experience from the past decade of cotton field experience, but still.
Moral of the Story, sometimes I can be inspiring when I am not talking shit.
Fast forward to last summer, so I guess we are now just…rewinding….wait how does this work?
Anyway. She had planned to do a photoshoot for the clothing line we were launching. The initial goal was to use our fellow staff members, but life was like nah.
Insert me, and having friends. There is a 90s after school lesson somewhere.
I hit up my friend who helped me get the 90s stone….I really need to think of better name for these stones. I asked her would she, her boyfriend and other friends be willing to model for us. The concept was simple, black people living their best life and be unapologetically black. They agreed luckily, because this literally was a last minute thing. We met up at Camp North End under the scorching summer sun. It was a pretty chill event actually….despite the sun emitting full oppression nigger heat.
Like I said this this isn’t a dramatic thing, no long expose’s, no existential dread.None, no such things exist…
In this issue.
We decided to do another one at another time, but in downtown Charlotte a few weeks later.
And that’s it. Fade to black. End scene.
Wait, not yet. But thats all for the events of this issue. To check out the byproducts from the day the sun enter the group chat go forth here. Also check out the music page and CBD hemp store of one of the models.
MAN alot has happened since the last time I wrote to y’all.
A whole fucking lot.
2020 was the unmitigated shit show that no one wanted. But here we are, most of us…..
For those who didn’t catch the …, I was alluding to all those who have died due to the Coronavirus…and racism, fucking racism.
Concerts got cancelled. FUCK. I was supposed to see Jhene Aiko, Halsey, Snoh, Aalegra, and R.LUM.R. Probably more but ya know humanity proved unequivocally that they won’t do anything to survive.
LIES FUCKING LIES.
But despite all the chaos of 2020, I found a way to clear a path for my art journey. Priorities folks, priorities.
A week after my bday in March, thats when shit hit the fan at my previous cotton field. And when that shit splattered I took my chance to hide under a tent of what was left of the toilet paper.
Side note, can someone please explain to me why the fuck all the toilet paper was being hoarded. Why the FUCK was that a thing?
Cottonfield 10 decided to comply with my cities lockdown orders, thus not counting attendance against us for the next month. So guess who did not go to the cottonfield, not I said the hybrid, not I. Well I did but only to drop off my girlfriend off since she has more of a reason to go. Me, I’m just a lowly field nigga.
But me, me nigga I rested. It felt great not to have to go to a place where my throat swelled up despite allergy medicine and masks efforts. I watched so many shows, on Kami. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is the legit most beautiful ridiculous anime I have seen. Ill be glad when the next part gets on Hulu. Baby Yoda is so fucking cute, Community was Hilarious. Alot of shows were watched, movies seen for the first time over the next few months. I won’t go through them all but if you are that interested then you can go through my tags for this post.
But most importantly I worked on my comic series, yea the thing that has took a deep stake in my heart since 4 years ago. For those who weren’t paying attention I reached an impasse because of CottonField 10. Simply put I was so fucking tired, SO FUCKING TIRED. 2019 to early 2020 I probably only did at least 1 and a half issues, which was the rest of Issue 6 and most of Issue 7. Frustration doesn’t even describe how I felt.
Shout out to Corona for giving me the chance to color all night like I did in 2016.
But of course all good things come to an end. Masta sent out a message to us slaves early May saying attendance was about to be mandatory again. Had the pandemic ended? Spoiler Alert, it didn’t. Actually it is still very much thriving, like the plague of yesteryears.
But shirts take a priority over peoples health I guess, yay capitalism.
Despite that new mandate via electronic pigeons, I dreaded going back. My spirit said nah Nigga. You need to understand, I loathed CottonField 10 as much as Cottonfield 4. Maybe it was the swelling of my throat, maybe it was because no one in my position was ever going to get a raise, maybe it was the new 3 day 12 hr shifts that exhausted me more so on top of the only way to get my 40 hrs was to work a 4th day at the full 12 hour capacity. But I hated that place, contemplating what the fuck am I doing with my life, loathing that I couldn’t work on my book the way I wanted, the existential ennui I felt standing in front of a dryer wondering WTF am I doing with my life.
Instinctually my spirit said don’t go back. If I went back I would be condemning my spirit and my throat. Pay checks be damned, especially when they are mediocre and stable to a point.
A snake popped in my vision. Relax not a real one but a spirit snake for lack of better words.
Some of you don’t speak witch and it shows.
I know I’ve lost some people, but if you made it to this point you may as well keep reading. That Friday I decided to take a walk at the park where I shot my mermaid adventures. Ironically the date of that Friday was the same date and day as me graduating from college, May 15. I walked around and again I saw that snake, but the skin shed to white as I contemplated my life. I googled white snake symbolism and what I got was transformation and rebirth.
My mind was made up. I quit that blasted slave pit.
I quit on good terms, gave some amalgamated mesh of why I can’t stay. Along the lines of why I left, that I didn’t want to catch it and pass it on to my elder family members. Blah Blah Blah. And just like that I was out.
NIGGA I YEETED. I would have yeeted more if they gave me my unemployment, but fuck them. I hope to never see them again. Side note, my girlfriend told me there was so many cases of Corona every week. As soon Lockdown wave 1 ended they went back to their bullshit slave practices of forcing everyone to be in the same area.
But me personally, I was good. I colored to my hearts content, more so when my girlfriend got me a new chair. MAAAAAN listen my cheeks were so relieved they yeeted. So fucking relieved. I had some revisions to do, 2017 should be slapped for just hastily throwing stuff on paper. Slapped so hard. but I finally finished Act 2.
OMFG, I’m literally at the half way point. 10 issues down. 10 issues to go.
I should have kept going, but back pain was a thing. When July hit I took a hiatus to ya know live. Play video games, finally hacked my PSP that I got 11 years ago when I graduated college.
That was um a process to say the least. bricked it a few times. But I got it, at some point. Joy is playing Phantasy Star 4, and beating it. Especially when you were stuck at one part as a child.
RPG JOY BITCHES!!!
Beat Spiderman, Discovered AWICH, (YEET TO HER LIFE), did non profit work, went to Charleston finally, back to Atlanta because of the aquarium we saw in Charleston, Kayaked, climbed a mountain, taught photography to someone who helped me get one of the Infinity Stones, tried new recipes, read some books, got inspired by things for my next set of random ass drawings.Ya know all the simple things that ya don’t get to do when you are exhausted from a cotton field.
On Kami. On the Kami of all YEETS. If could just be unemployed and work on my art I would. Literally looking forward to my next unemployment stint.
I’m working at a place I never really wanted to work at again, but money is needed and I needed to loose weight from the past few months. I really became a chunky fuck. EWWWWW.
So October I restarted being a slave again, at a horrible fucking hour. The next place I shuck and jive at I hope I can wake up after the fucking sun. Thats all I ask bro. My comic work took a back seat to financial catch up, car registration and getting money for presents.
Ugh Life be like.
But my slave schedule changes soon, eventually I’ll be back to staying up all night while coloring as Spotify blares in the background. Nice to have to something to look forward to ya know.
Do I have any real hopes for 2021. nah bruh. I just wanna return status to zero by finishing all my art projects, enjoy concerts again, go to AfroPunk FINALLY, go to anime and comic cons, see my friends, not have anxiety attacks when I go out in public, survive a mutant super virus that has been ravishing the world for the past year, ya know the simple things.
I wish I could say I have alot of content for ya’ll, but I don’t. The typical Jano luck of photoshoots happening despite being talked about still ran true in 2020 as previous years. Actually I had planned on posting this issue when I did the photo and try to be con current with my life but obviously that didn’t happen.
Moral of the Story; If you hate the cotton field you shuck and jive and you get a chance to leave, leave that bitch if you can. ON KAMI. They don’t give a fuck about you or your life, and if you leave they will replace you like you never existed. Follow your dreams and take care of yourself.
It is the way.
This will probably be the most positive thing I say on this platform.
Maybe. Depends on how life goes.
At any rate thats all for now. I just woke up. Here’s hoping 2021 has way less fuckery than 2020, for the culture.
Its 2020, and yep its a whole new decade….*insert flashbacks and existential episode here.
You ever come back from a vacation and you have issues readjusting to life, when you already were bleh about it anyway? That has legit been me since I came back from the southern part of Florida. If you ever get a chance to check out Sanibel Island, do it. Industrialization has for the most part has not touched this part of the world. It is legit so beautiful.
Whats not so beautiful is the racism I experienced while in Cape Coral. Shit was repulsive.
Dear White People, Your logic of ignoring a black customer while having a black coworker is foolish. One day you are going to fuck with the wrong one, and I hope to hear about it on the news.
Anyway. Here I am weeks later on typing this issue finally. Like I said readjusting has been hard, as is finding the words to write this. This isn’t an actual major issue, at least for me. For lack of better words this is a filler issue….like some other issues.
But Jano, what is a filler?
Well if you are asking that you obviously don’t watch anime. A filler is an adventure is detailed that is unrelated, or tangential, to the main story arc(s).
In this case, the main arc is the collection of my “Infinity Stones”, which at this point still is 2 remaining photo shoots that have yet to occur. Although this may not be essential to my journey, sharing this would be helpful for another creative.
Who remembers my friend England Simpson? If that name sounds familiar then I really fuck with you, because she has been the subject of a few of my issues at this point. If not well, go read some back issues.
At some point in 2018, she had told me that my place would be a perfect place to film a movie.I told her she could as long as she paid me, she said of course. Time went by, like nearly 2 years really and she told me she is gonna do it the 1st weekend of October of 2019.
Side note, this issue actually takes place before the events of my first art show. Usually I do things chronologically but I was excited as fuck to talk about it.
At any rate we made preparations, and she came by one Sunday morning. She arrived probably 930 -10ish. I legit had no idea long of a day it was gonna be, I didn’t but whatever its happening now so I would find out. They arranged my living room to how they wanted it, prepped the actors, props and did script reads.
I stayed out the way since my only part was to provide a place for part of the movie to be filmed. I joked with her Sisters, read the rest of Grave Destiny and started reading AfroFuturism….which I still need to finish actually. One of the photographers showed me his work, plus showed me the capabilities of one my lenses. Honestly that was probably the best part.
The worst part tho….nigga…..
So, there was a person who catered the event. Which was ok because you know food is a necessary thing….but what isn’t necessary is this bloated bare foot lady horrendous foot odor. OMFG.
At various points I would walk from the living room to my room, passing the kitchen in the mean time and I would catch a whiff of something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I didn’t like it. At some point in the afternoon this pasty land whale sat in the living room on one of my couches, and when she descended as did the foul smell that was in tow from her toes. OMG that shit right there, that shit right there made me escape my own living room. I don’t know if escape rooms are that easy but spoiler alert that day it was. To add insult to injury this bulbous blob big bitch took the top to one of my pots, which I didn’t realize until a few weeks later.
OMG Jano, how could you say all this?
Because it actually happened, spoiler alert.
Other than the stinky gender bent version of Blob, the day was pretty chill. Not gonna lie at some point I was thinking I need you niggas to get the fuck out of my house. If I didn’t have to work early it wouldn’t be such an issue, but 336 am comes early sadly. UGH.
The whole thing ended around 11ish. They left the house in the same manner they found it clean…minus the top of my pot. I feel like Captain Ahab and hunting me a fucking whale.
Dear White people, don’t pollute houses with your unclean appendages and steal shit like your fucking ancestors did.
For a description and a trailer of the movie which called Fat Henry, click here. To see some of the behind the scenes images go here.
Not gonna lie, I had no idea what was this movie was about even though it was being filmed in my house.
The frigid season of winter is damn near, but it already feels like the bottom of a frozen ocean. FUCK MAN. So far the only good thing that has happened this month is that I got to see Incubus in concert.
At various points before they started playing I thought how I wish Gym Class Heroes was still a thing like Incubus, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco and everyone else. Can someone make this a thing.
Anyway, honestly this is gonna be a brief and easy issue. And by brief and easy I mean itisn’t dramatic as fuck as much as my other issues about my art journey. Thats right this issue will be inadvertently family friendly for the holidays.
One blazing as fuck summer day this summer, one of my friends texted me saying that she wanted to do pictures of her son. That sounds doable. We started discussing slave schedules and locations. She texted me a location that she saw on her mail route, but was open for other locations. Since data limits were a thing for me this year, I waited til I got home to google the area.
Not gonna lie, I wasn’t impressed…at all.
And I told her that. I suggested Freedom Park the same place where I shot (Insert issue link here) since 1.It actually has more visually as opposed to an open grass field with a raggedy ass swing that the original park had and 2. It would be more for her son to interact with.
She was down for it. We set a date for a Friday afternoon in August. I left the cotton field, grabbed a sandwich from Harris Teeter and headed to the park.
I told ya’ll this is a really simple story.
I waited for her to arrive. She called me at some point because she wasn’t sure of the area. Eventually she showed up and we walked into the park.
Remind me to never to do a photoshoot of a child after picking cotton all day.Lil dude was an energy dynamo, like Finn from Adventure Time. On god nigga, On god. I was struggling to keep up, but I took solace in the fact how much I was gonna pass out when I got home.We were there for 2 hours at best, and we dispersed to separate paths and life.
See like I said this a real simple issue. To see the jubilation of my friends child click here.
Anyway this is probably gonna be last issue of the year. I had hoped to release another one before the year was out, but the way my slavery schedule is looking and the physicallimits of this human vessel I inhabit that may not happen.
Hopefully I can, but spoiler alert don’t hold your breath.
Hopefully 2020 I will accomplish more of my goals on my journey. To be honest I am so disappointed with myself. I still have 2 stones left that have yet to acquire. If you have been paying attention to these issues and know about Thanos, I really appreciate ya’ll I do. If not well, go back and do some reading.
Need some guidance on stone journey? Well here ya go the stones I collected purple, pink, blue and green. Honestly the other issues I released this year were just, well for a lack of better words filler issues.
As far as my comic saga Azure Ascendance, Man I’m so irked that I didn’t get as far as I wanted. Real shit this job exhaust the shit out of me, a nigga just wants to color like its 2016, that’s it. And ya know eventually get it animated on a streaming service,
Thats it.Ya know simple things.
Spoiler Alert, depending on how the next few months go will determine if I will be releasing issues monthly as I have the past few years. I’m literally all caught up in my photo journey after the next issue.
Hail to the Guardians of WatchTower
Sun, Moon, star, north, south, east and west.
Osiris my king
Hekate my queen
Let 2020 be a more productive year for my photography. Let me acquire the last 2 stones, as well the other shoots that I want to do.Free me from this current cotton field and please let me be able to workon my comic series, Azure Ascendance and release issues on a more steady rate. While eventually working toward a way to get my series animated in the way I imagine.
Man I actually worked a full summer, that hasn’t happened in years. Def not a fan, even though I did get to do fun things this summer. The price of freedom yields monetary gain for joy. Yay Capitalism…. I suppose.
This another entry in the existential Infinity stone saga that started in the wee early days of 2017. For those keeping up this would be the fourth stone of the arc, 2 more and I’ll have a full set.
Side note, As I type this I am still in search of those two stones. As long as it has taken to get to this point I hope that they are worth it.
MAN, on god nigga, on GOD my nigga this concept was pretty simplistic, it was. But for some reason it took a year and four months to achieve it.
Who remembers that one part of the mermaid saga when I said I went to go scout Midtown Park for a possible shoot location? Well I am piggy backing off that for this issue. When 2018 started I remembered that location on that aggravating as fuck day. Couple that and the random images I see on the internet from Instagram and Pintrest, an idea gestated in my mind. I decide to do a 90’s era photoshoot.
But Jano that sounds like it would be simple to pull off. Why did it take so long?
Have ya’ll not been paying attention to my life? How often are any of my ideas simple? Exactly. I promise this art journey comes with more side quest than most modern video games. I should have hella trophies unlocked now. Fuck I should have bonus points for cussing anyone out. Wait would I get a trophy for actually loosing my cool? I might go for a trophy next time I get hit with some 1080 HD 4k fuckery.
I was scrolling through my IG timeline and thought to ask this girl I follow and models, who I thought would do it. I had asked her to model for me in 2017, but I didn’t really have an idea in mind unlike this time. I approached her with the idea and the time frame I wanted to do it, Ie when it wasn’t cold as fuck. She was down for it.
I wasn’t saying Yeet last year, but I am now, So fuck it. Time travels is a fluid concept.
Eventually I bought an Old school 90’s boombox, ya know the type you would see on TV. The type you can carry on your shoulder and disturb all the peace, but be harmonious to yourself and those who appreciate the genre of music you like. I found some old blank cassette tapes I had in my room from when I use to actually listen to the radio, and record music off.
MAN the nostalgia of simple times, take a nigga back. Not gonna lie tho Spotify is def the best, especially since I can’t stand what is on the radio nowadays.
At this point we are in Mid March. I emailed her asking what songs would she want on the mixtape. I like going for a full effect of what the fuck I am trying to shoot if I can.
Ya’ll bitches be the worse. They do, the absolute fucking worse.
I would email her, and assuming that not everyone checks their mail all the time (even though our initial conversation about what I was trying to achieve with this shoot was via email and she replied, but whatever) I would message her asking if she got my email as a prompt for her to check it. Bitch would leave me left on read, but on god would like all my memes. All of em.
At some point when I attempted to communicate with her, she did reply saying that she hadn’t checked her email. I took a screenshot of the msg and sent it to her via IG DM’s….and still no reply.
Just absolute fuck it.
Ya’ll think this is bad, wait til we get the last 2 stones. Oh boy those are true anime arcs, long as fuck. Filled with Daunting moments of existentialism.
Timeline wise we are near the nigger heat summer of 2018. I got laid off from my job, so I was free as fuck. Figured I’d make the best of my time the best I can. It was upsetting because on the photography part of the art journey, you can’t do a photoshoot without a model. And unlike the mermaid saga and the candy queen arc, this wasn’t a difficult concept.
Summer came and I would fill my days of being laid off of going to restaurants, of stuffing my face, working on acts 3 and 4 of my book, while using their wifi to play hours of music on Spotify. At various points I would have random text conversations with friends.
One friend in particular, I was telling her about the aforementioned events. And she said she would do it. Awe struck I was, especially since she told me can’t be out in the sun for too long. Truthfully I had thought about asking her, but there was reasons I didn’t. Mainly because us hanging out is always difficult, typically the days we have attempted to hang out something always happened. At this point in time, we had only seen each other 2 times….
…and we had known each other for a few years. I know adult friendships are hard but this was final level boss hard.
I knew better, but hoped for the best.
Unfortunately the same patterns repeated themselves. The days when we had made plans to meet up to pick the songs for the mixtape, something drastic came up on her end. And at some point I stopped hearing from her for a while, found out who later on why which has no bearing on the rest of this issue.
Again this project was dead in the water. I kept searching, and eyeballing people of who I would want to do this. Eventually I started working a new job in October and 2018 ended and 2019 arrived.
Now we are getting to the climax of this story.
At some point in the cotton field I became cool with one of the fellow slaves. Due to the weekend shift being dissolved, her and a few others were now part of my shift. As time went on I noticed she had a 90s aesthetic. I figured maybe I should ask and see would she model for me.
So one February day in the cotton field I asked.
She seemed squeamish to the idea, but gave me her email anyway so I could give her all the details of what I am trying to do for the project. She told me she would give it some thought, I was like Koolio beanzo.
However, *deep sigh*
Her started to get complicated for various reasons which I don’t feel like typing. But emotionally she was starting to go through it. The tiny part of me that is humane thought it would be in bad taste to ask her about it.
I promise this could have been so simple, but was like Nah Nigga.
Anyway, One week I saw an art event on Facebook about Art, Beer and Chicken. And this nigga likes chicken and art.
Friday came, and I made an effort to stay awake post cotton field. If I passed out like I usually do I would have not made there at all. I got there and legit didn’t plan on seeing anyone I know at all. I didn’t. Social skills was not a thing I was planning on using that night.
Ironically enough I did.
At some point I went to the restroom, came back and while I was waiting in line there was a girl ahead of me in line. I recognized the green hair and the pointy cat ear frames, internally I was like I think thats a person I follow online. And it was.
You know how you what if scenarios play in your head? Well sometimes I have ones where I’m out and someone who follows me online sees me and they go OMG you are so kool, nice to meet you, you are hilarious as fuck. Well thats what happened.
We catch eyes and she starts talking to me, and me being the awkward, tired person I am finds myself in a scenario I legit never thought was gonna happen especially since I didn’t think I would run into anyone that night. Oh irony. We talk for a few mins, goes off to grab some food and thats it for our interaction for the night. I see her with 2 other people, but don’t go over to them because I legit didn’t wanna be a odd as fuck spare wheel who is socially awkward. At some point I leave to go home and pass out, but before I do send her a message sorry if I came off awkward as fuck. She said it was kool, she thought she was awkward and I was like nah you were ok.
Awww tender moments.
Ironically enough, I ran into her the next day at Abari’s block party and it was like we were friends from 10 years ago. It was me, her, the two guys I saw her with last night and my homegirl. It was a pretty chill day. At some point I started to think maybe she would model for me.
The following week I asked my aforementioned coworker when did she want to work on her mixtape. Man the apprehension and nervous on her face was all the answer I needed, and after a discourse she told me my least favorite words when it comes to a photoshoot.
I’ll let you know.
Essentially those words are nails in a coffin for me, because no one ever lets me know shit. Spoiler Alert, its several months later and I still have not been let known anything. I decide to message my recent internet friend to real life friend, and she said would totally be down.
HOLY FUCK, THE YEEET I FELT DEEP IN MY HEART. The ball started rolling finally. Something that should have happened last fucking spring finally was happening.
We started an email correspondence, of what songs she would want on the mixtapes, when each of us would be free, and what not. Her playlist was crack on a stick. I somehow downloaded all the songs from Spotify using some program, and the transferred them to a cassette tape.
The transfer didn’t go as smooth as I had planned. First I had to order a new flash drive because my kool Transformer Ravage one fragged out on me. Even after that I didn’t get the order of the songs arranged like I thought. And for some reason the last 30 secs to minute of the song would abruptly cut off, which was really fucking odd considering the songs were downloaded in full.
Odd, but not odd enough for me to sweat it. We chose Easter Sunday to do the shoot. As excited as I was, I was also nervous as fuck. To be honest I was nervous that it would be a repeat event of Incandescent Spirits, where I had acted like I never held a camera before Plus this was the first photoshoot Ive done since August 2018.That was humiliating for me and I didn’t want that to occur again. At any costs. As usual I spent the day mentally preparing how I wanted this to go down. I had recently scouted the area again, since the last time I was there was August 2017.
She and her boyfriend arrived, which was kool because he helped carry some of the things that were brought. Oh I forgot to mention, she had never modeled before which really didn’t matter because she did a great job. She had made a comment how she hated how she looks in photos, and then I showed her and she was like well damn.
Not to be cocky, but thats usually the reaction when I show people photos of them. Nice how I make people believe in themselves….even though I am a legit asshole.
As the shoot went on we laughed each time a song ended abruptly, not gonna lie it was hilarious and annoying when it was a song we all really liked. At some point we called it quits for various reasons. She was exhausted from her job which I totally understood, and there was a still a good amount of the park to shoot. Plus there were other areas we had to skip over because people were shooting there already. And she wanted to do her make up better than she had for today. We ended it for the day, and did the 2nd half a week later.
MAAAAN Listen. She came out her car looking like Rachel True from The Craft and I won’t mad at it. At all. We did the rest of the park with no problems.
Wait, no there was a problem. So at some point this random old white man, who we presumed was homeless and drunk. Decided to piss in the area where we are shooting.
NIGGA!, There is a whole park for you to piss in and you chose the area where we are. Smells like racism and expired Budweiser. Cunt.
And after that I fulfilled my promise of feeding her when it was over. She originally wanted to go this sushi restaurant, but at some point we were talking about how I went to this Ecuadorian restaurant that my friend took me to while I was in Raleigh J.Cole’s Dreamville festival which led us to Viva Chicken. OMG blessed be Viva Chicken and the purple and yellow sauce.
YEET NIGGA YEET.
Also Dreamville Festival is where I heard the word Yeet. It was during J.Cole’s performance, and at some point after he performed Middle Child this white girl yelled it and it has been part of lexicon ever since. Damn White girls.
Anyway to see the images from this shoot that honestly should have taken this damn long go here.
With this the 4th stone was collected. Green did infect beat gold after all.
Anyway I legit just spent a good while typing this, and I’m all typed out plus hungry for some chicken.
Until next time.
2 stones left.
On another note, my goal is to finish Final Fantasy 7 this month and finish Grave Destiny by Kalayna Price. Since ya know they should have been done along time ago.
This has been a sporadic and slaveful as summer,at least for me. FUCK. Kanye West Spaceship is legit playing both in my head and on my Spotify Can my Azure Ascendance spaceship come in and so I can fly away and do art things instead.
This saga actually isn’t complicated, compared to some of the others I’ve shared. Its just more so a matter of waiting.
It literally started Spring 2017 with a white girl.
But Jano, how did it go from white girl to your friend we have seen model for you 3 times who clearly isn’t white?
Well if you shut the fuck up you will find out :).
At some point in Spring 2017 when I was unemployed as fuck, yep that unemployment streak that started January 2016. MAN that was an arduous time.
I random white girl followed me on IG. At the time I was not posting anything on any social media platform. At the time my mindset I wasn’t gonna post anything until I got a full time job finally…
HA I was foolish.
Anyway because of that some of the most recent things I posted were photos of cosplay images. She DM’d me saying she would like to do a cosplay shoot, and me at the time who has not done one yet was down.
What followed was a series of events that made me more so loose patience with humanity, more so.
For those who weren’t paying attention, I wasn’t employed at the time.Employment didn’t happen until mid April and lasted until Early June. Followed by me being unemployed for 2 weeks, working for a month, then unemployed again until September. All of which, except for the 1st weekend of new slavery, I had the weekends off.
I would hit her up multiple times, and yet despite it being her idea she was never available. I appreciated her actually replying but at the same time I was irked. From the time period of Mid July to September, asking became ridiculous. She would tell me that she had alot going on, but then her IG stories would have a caption of going to meet a photographer. Days later it would be photos up of her in the outfit from the IG stories from said photographers.
Ya’ll listen, the older I get the less fucks I give.
I’m not gonna continue to chase people down for something that was their idea. I’m not.That mindset translate into a lot of things these days. I don’t have the time nor patience from it.
If you have an idea that you want done, and you don’t make an effort to make it happen. I.E. if I keep asking and the only thing you tell me is you’ll let me know, I’ll let it go.
During the mermaid saga when I finally had my model solidified. I told my homegirl about the aforementioned treachery, and she told she would do a cosplay photoshoot for me.
So let me publicly gush for once. She is legit my favorite model out of all the people I worked with.
She is, she drove down to help me out multiple times to help me fulfill my art dreams and was willing to do it again. I’m sorry none of you others can compare to her at all. Some of you may be mad, but I don’t give a fuck. If I actually get to shoot any of them more than once for another idea of mine I will be surprised. So to my homegirl I want to say you are the best, and I’m glad we met at that winter comic convention in 2013. Whenever I see you again I owe you food for all the times you helped when I was unemployed, plus you left your brush here.
Tender moments are over.
Back to this journey.
Even though she had agreed to help me out, it wasn’t that a simple thing. No major reason, just schedule conflicts. We both were working retail, and even when my schedule switched to weekend availability in the Spring of 2018 she still wasn’t able to make it down. Which sucked because I did have an idea to do it during the Spring while the trees were blooming new leaves for the year after a frigid callous winter.
Eventually August 2018, it happened after the original agreement was formed in September 2017. The day came and she arrived at my house, it took a minute before we actually did the shoot. I was recovering from a lush filled night, ironically enough when I did the masquerade shoot it was the day after I drank on a Sunday in August too.
She prepared herself make up wise, while I got my equipment ready. I drove to downtown where I envisioned this happening. The weather was perfect, as in I didn’t have to worry about her dying from heat exhaustion. It was a cloudy chill day so neither of us would sweat our spirits away.
Nothing extraordinary happened. She knew more about the character than I do, so my usual look at Pintrest for posing ideas was useless. The only other things that happened was that children thought that she was kool and wanted pictures with her. There was this one nigga, who was exactly that a nigga. I regret letting him take a photo with her, his last words were that picture will get ya’ll famous.
Negro please I didn’t even edit that nonsense.
I reject thou niggatry with the greatest power of the force.
We ended the shoot since she hadn’t eaten all day. We had talked about doing a night shoot but that didn’t happen. Partially because I was afraid it would be a repeat of what happened in Incandescent Spirits, the other half was because niggas were tired as fuck. OMG, I really need to start stretching before I shoot people I do.
At any rate, we went to get something to eat. She introduced me to Poke’bowls and Poke’ Burritoes. OMFG, they are so great. Blessed Be Korean food. We went back to my house and hung out, while she played her favorite songs.
Ugh, I just remembered how she played that foolishness of Kanye West Lift Yourself…OMG. I legit didn’t think it was him, and I’m upset I heard it.. A far from cry from Spaceship I mentioned earlier.
Someone save Kanye from Kanye
At any rate to see the images from that day click here.
On another note, this is actually the photoshoot I did of 2018. Not by choice, not by choice at all. As far “Infinity Stones” go, at this point I have 3 of the 6 I am determined to get. Other shoots were supposed to happen, but ya know life and peoples fickleness.
Moral of the story, Don’t trust white girls who slide and your DM’s. As well don’t chase anyone down when it is their idea.
Next issue will take place in 2019. I am almost caught up with time…or something…whatever…..
Before we start can we talk Avengers End Game, like holy fuck. I won’t post spoilers, but damn my heart. Thanos was still slapping people with his big purple dick one year later. Then 2 days later I saw the Battle at Winterfell on Game of Thrones….NIGGA!!!! I was not ready for how that episode ended, at all. I need to rewatch this show when it is over in a few weeks because there is so much I don’t remember, like why the fuck The Night King was searching for Bran.
Ok so this actually a legit chill ass issue.
It is. There is no crisis, long search for a model, prop preparation, location search. None of the things that ya’ll have gotten accustomed to my issues is here.
None, no such dilemmas exist.
Thats next issue.
Its honestly comparable to one of those feel good stories episodes you see in a show after a vail of fog has been lifted and you see holes of light poking through illuminating the cast.
This issue is a continuation of this one, kinda. My homegirl from college recently surprised me with the fact that she was pregnant when I came to take pictures for their house unveiling for social media. This was in April 2018, this issue takes place June 2018.
She invited me to her gender reveal party, and obviously I went. I didn’t have to take my camera but I took my camera. Force of habit, plus since I was unemployed I had to give some type of gift and pictures of this big moment seem appropriate. For me this was an event like all the ones I attended when I volunteered at non profits and interned at church. Plus considering I barely I knew anyone there beside my homegirl, her husband and my one of our friends from our UNCG college days being occupied by my camera kept me from being completely awkward. I legit can’t contribute to conversations about stable jobs, families and having successful side business, I can’t. I know nothing of those lives.
When I wasn’t snapping photos of the event, I was mostly talking to our friend from college about how life has been since I haven’t seen him since December 2014 in Raleigh when I came for the mothers to be bday party. Between our convos there were games of guess the baby food (which seemed disgusting as fuck) and a few other ones.
Eventually we got to the big moment of the reveal, and my spider sense was right. But we will get that in a minute. The rest of the event was pretty chill, eventually everyone left and It was really my friends from college and their lovers as we sat outside and enjoyed a chill June night.
Look I told ya’ll this wasn’t a dramatic issue at all. Pretty relaxed, sometimes issues like this are good for ya, especially me since there is less I have to have PTSD about.
Anyway to see what my homegirl had go forth and click here.
See told ya this was a hella short issue, like hella fucking short. Now next months issue that’s gonna be lengthy, maybe as lengthy as the mermaid issue. In the meantime I’m gonna hopefully watch of all Gundam Iron Blood Orphans, I doubt it will be better than Gundam Wing but we will see. Finish up Naruto Shippuden and the DressRosa Arc of One Piece, I can promise you this I prob will never rewatch Naruto after this week. And work on the photos from the photoshoot I just recently did that I have been trying to do since last year.
The only thing now is to find a model for my Gold Stone Project, UGGGH.
MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed. Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival. Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.
And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.
YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice
This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.
Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.
So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.
In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life. Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.
I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.
I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.
You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.
Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.
This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.
Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.
Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid,a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.
I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.
Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.
Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies. We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.
For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.
But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?
Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose. At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house. Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera. Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.
None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.
But Jano why don’t you decorate?
Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.
I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.
Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.
I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.
But Jano, didn’t you practice?
Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.
Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem
We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her. The ironic part is that for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.
As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras. Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did. Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.
Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.
Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.
But for right now I am going to wash my hair.
Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.
First off, ya’ll Stan Lee is dead. Like Dead, like Thanos snapped away his life with the Infinity Gauntlet dead. Usually I don’t give a damn when a celebrity dies, but this shit, this shit right here nigga blew my mind. Imagine getting off work, checking your phone and seeing that an old white man you never met but who had a hand in some of the geeky intellectual properties is dead. Nigga. I had a chance to meet him at Heroes Con 2012 but the line to meet him was tooooo fucking long and I had to meet my college friends in Greensboro for a bday party that day. Plus real shit I didn’t have 90 dollars to spare. Le sigh.
Second. Winter is coming and it feels like institutional racism and the harshest oppression. There is a legit lament and heart felt yearning for it to be 90 degrees and me being unemployed like I was for four months this year as I wake up before the sun and drive through frigid temperatures.Oh god it fucking hurts. Blargh it all.
I wanted to do this issue earlier this month, but work makes me so tired that I don’t want to type anything significant lately. Kinda sad.
So at this point I got the witch concept knocked out the park and had two more concepts I wanted to bring to life. A masquerade theme. I legit don’t know where this came from, part of it was probably because of the internet. That darn internet and its random elements that I want to incorporate into an amalgamated theme. The initial idea hit me around May 2017 and shortly after the model hunt began.
MAN fuck this model hunt. That shit is the worse. So there was a girl I was following on IG, who I decided to message initially and she was like I’m interested. I was legit excited like damn you replied? damn you said yes? word?
But then I never heard from her again. Of course.
People would reply on Craigslist, honestly none of them were what I wanted at all. I was scrolling on my timeline again on IG and decided to ask this other girl I follow after I saw she did some modeling photos. Honestly what I liked about her was her colorful hair. Thats it, her face was ok. Nothing special. She had a basic white becky face but she was colorful.
Spoiler Alert; I told you these issues will be filled with shade, salt and sarcasm.
She was down for the idea. At some point I asked what color boa would she prefer to wear during the shoot and she told me blue. So next check I brought the boa and had an arts and crafts night,. I had some pink feathers I brought summer 2016 and tied into the boa. The masquerade mask I had from my birthday party in 2015, I applied gems and feathers to it as well.
Ya’ll, when I say I never heard from this pale face basic becky bitch again.I never heard from her again in my mother fucking life.
Jano, Maybe she never got the messages.
Nah, that bitch left me on read. I hope herpes eat her heart muscles while Paramore plays in the background as she grasps for air while she scratches her chest ferociously. Cunt.
After I wrote this bitch off mentally, I remembered I had asked one of my friends to model for me summer 2016, and she said yea. I decided to see if she was still down, she was. WOOT. Yay for people you become friends with during your art journey. Back in 2011, I saw an ad in Creative Loafing about a sketch group that met at Showmars and I started going. She was a waitress and we became friends. Origin story over.
I told her about the idea, the location and what I had prop wise. The only thing we really had to decide was the date. Since I was unemployed at the time that wasn’t an issue for me. Another factor was the fucking rain, summer rain was legit forecasted every…..fucking….day.
And sometimes it wouldn’t even fucking rain. THE FUCK!!!
We picked a Sunday and it was magical. Well kinda. Two of my friends had a party the night before and I didn’t get drunk, its just that I slept in a weird position in their chair. So I really didn’t sleep, but at least I didn’t drive intoxicated so that’s something. Right?
But Nigga I was in pain the next day. She drove from Monroe to help me out. Nigga, Monroe, NC. And bitches here couldn’t even answer a message. She changed and we went to NODA. The goal was to go early because it was supposed to be hot as fuck that day. So to avoid super slave heat we went before noon, so it was only semi slave heat. She told me she never really modeled before, but for someone who never really modeled before she did a really good job. More so since I couldn’t full annunciate my ideas from lack of sleep and she filled in the blanks instantly so YAAAAAAASSS to that. Some shots I couldn’t get because I overestimated my lens. But overall I got most of the shots I wanted.
To see the images from that day with my friend with a pretty face and colorful hair click. here.
Anyway thats it for now. Next Issue will be the last issue of the year and filled with oh so much shade you would think that Unicron and Galactus is hovering the planet. Google it if you didn’t get the reference. Who would have thought searching for a mermaid would be so much fucking trouble.
Passing out now, 5am comes early. FUCK. I just want to not pick cotton for the rest of my life. There is a unique solace in being unemployed and it being 90 degrees.
Yo if anyone gets me the new Spider Man game for PS4 I PROMISE, I fucking promise on god that I will….probably just be extremely grateful. Idk. I’m not big on making promises that I may not or don’t want to keep.
Anyway, here we are. That nice little bonus issue that I was talking about in my last issue filled with high grade NaCl.
Some of you are probably googling NaCl. Salt niggas, Salt. Which I don’t plan on having an abundance of in this issue.
Anyway I want to debut my new Sketchtape.
Definition of Sketchtape, a clever combination of Sketchbook and Mixtape.
Used in a sentence,
Jano Ryusaru Presents his new Sketchtape Emerald Evisceration.
I actually finished this earlier this year, but didn’t want to premiere it until I finish debuting each image on my social media pages from my last project Numinously Noir.
I started working on this spring 2017. At some point when I was working on Act 1 of my comic series Azure Ascendance, I had an urge to draw crazy ridiculous shit like I did in my first Sketchtape Miasmic Emancipation.
No thoughts, no fucks, just random line strokes and whatever formed is what formed. In a sense it was my Marshall Mathers 2. You can try to figure out “the meaning” of each image if you want, its your cognitive function you are wasting not mine.
However Spoiler alert, only 2 of these images in this project have any significance to me at all. If you figure out which then feel free to email me which 2 you think it is. The only thing you will get is a right or wrong answer. So if validation is what you are seeking feel free. Don’t expect us to do a discussion on it though.
The initial plan was to color these images when I was all finished with my comic series, but ya know how life be. Me getting my computer and drawing tablet stolen really fucked up my production schedule of my series. So I shifted to a mindset of I’ll color Act 2 once I finish storyboarding Act 3 and 4. Eventually I got my replacements, but the photography projects that I thought I would be able to knock out with no problems kept having well problems. Hell it still it is, here it is September and I still haven’t been able to do the 6 shoots I wanted to do this year. Fickle ass cunts denying me my infinity stones.I promise you disrespect is when someone says they will do the shoot, you buy the supplies and you never hear from them again. A message saying “I changed my mind” or something similar would suffice, instead of me foolishly reaching out and wasting my time waiting.
OMG Jano, what if they are reading this?
Spoiler Alert; I don’t give a fuck.
What does this have to do with my SketchTape, well a person has to self medicate some how. Some people buy adult coloring books, I color in images that I already drew a year prior. The combination of continuous cancellations and delays, fickle mindsets of those who previously agreed and a hidden episode from a saga in 2016 hit me pretty hard. Gotta love an existential crisis that you can numb through coloring with a myriad of hex codes, while blasting Incubus, Jungle Pussy, and Krizz Kaliko. I think I would have rather fought Thanos instead but an art catharsis is kool too, I guess.
I emotionally stroke this project down and didn’t pull out. Drip Drip.
You can either view the project in its entirety here. Or you can either follow my social media pages (see links on side bar navigation because I am not linking each of them here again) and watch me drop an image a month. Your choice, not my concern.
Next issue we continue my photography journey. Until then I’m gonna do hood rat shit with my friends, I think I have earned it after the past few months. But right now I am gonna lay here and let my back heal from drawing. Yea you read that right. Also yay for Iron Fist season 2 not sucking, I actually didn’t cringe nearly as much as I did in season 1.