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Existential 5 year save file

04 Sunday Jul 2021

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Dear friends of Jano,

Man. MAN.

Life has been a bit wonky lately. Part of me wants to blame it on Mercury Retrograde….ya know what fuck it. I totally blame it on Mercury Retrograde. More so since I found out there has been 2 this year so far and a third is still to come.

What type of fuckery is this?

All I wanna do is do hood rat shit with my friends, play video games, be a witch, work on my comic series, and save up enough money from the bullshit cotton field I work at and from art products I want to make and sell so that I can quit and work on my book again until its completed.

Spoiler Alert, I Just want to color all night like I did in 2016.

Thats all. I’m a simple man.

But no, lately its been trying to figure why the fuck my car keeps on stalling. Dude its so annoying and traumatic all things considered, on Kami. Hopefully this will be resolved soon.

Hopefully.

Anyway today I felt nostalgic as fuck as I realized the position of the calendar day of this month. 5 years ago in the trying times of 2016….actually in retrospect 2016 was kinda fun, minus being unemployed….I was trying to figure out how to build this fucking website on a Saturday after watching Dope for the first time.

FUCK, its been 5 years since i really got serious in this art journey.

The concept of time is so scary….also are all these fire works that are being shot off right now as I type this.As a nigga in the hood I know the difference between firecrackers and gunshots. Although right now it sounds like canons are being shot off.

Swing your dicks bro, I guess.

I’ve been bathing in a sea of existential ennui today as i wonder have I even achieved that much in my journey. I have learned ways to improve over the years. I’m not so awkward at shooting models, 5 years ago tho nigga i was trash.

So much trash.

But for the most part all I did was events which weren’t much of a challenge. None, no such challenge exist. The bond with my camera has gotten closer in terms of technical skills. I’m not the best but i def know more than i did 5 years ago. MAN the shoots i’ve done and the journeys to complete them have felt like quest in JRPGs. Some I would redo just for the sake of a new skill level.

Spoiler Alert, I still am on the search of the last 2 infinity stones that I started search for at the tail end of 2017. UGH. Unfortunately, i don’t think i will get them this year…its a another jrpg side quest it seems.

Might as well segue off JPRG and link it to my comic that i started in the fall of 2016.

Man. MAAAAN. MAAAAAAAAAN.

That has been the bulk of the past 5 years, legitly. The irony is when 2016 started was hoping to have a stable job and not bounce from cotton field to cotton field. But here I am thanking life for all the times I was not working, because without it I wouldn’t have gotten as much as done.

Literally.

Here I am hoping for another employment break so I can finish the last 8 issues. Thats right 8 issues are left for me to color. Being quarantined because of Covid at the end of April, Early May def helped. If i can get at least 1 page done a day I should reach my goal of finishing before the end of 2022.

Ideally.

If life stops distracting me with these ordeals I can go back to focusing on what is important to me.

When it is over, honestly I just want to be a real boy. Of chilling, playing video games, and no big major projects. I miss that portion of my life. That may not ever truly return but at least I won’t have a major project looming over my head anymore.

There will be projects surely, but not a project that is at least 1000 pages.


FUCK! *Tyler the Creator voice.

Despite what you just read, I still love my story with all my heart.

I do.

Will I ever do another comic series? Honestly I don’t know. I want to say no because of how arduous this one has been, but random storyboard thoughts and character design flow through my head. If I did do it, It would be way shorter than my current saga or I would be paid for it.

But what I do have planned art wise are the following.

A store with art products I’ve designed. Literally the only thing I have to do is make said products and the store.

Finish the process of getting my book in stores.

Jano what?

Yes, amid all the craziness of this spring I got my book in one of the local book stores here. Nigga when I got the email I screamed like Will Smith did in various episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

YEET TO THE GAWDZ!!!!

Right now I’m playing email tag with the owner. Hopefully things will go smoother since Retrograde is over.

Hopefully.

Also more art shows. At this point i’ve done 4 and I dare say I’m getting use to them, Kinda. The next time I hope I have aforementioned merchandise ready.

Moral of the story; Jano is on the way to becoming an Icon that will make you yeet so hard cum will leak from your organs. I def need to get some photoshoots of me done for the sake of my narcissism and my website.

May this lead to me getting my Jrpg comic saga animated and so much more.

With that being said thats it for now. Next month I’ll pick back up on my photo journey with the shoots I’ve done this year so far. They are not chaotic in the slightest in the terms of what I have gone through for the shoots of summer 2017.

If you were helpful to me on this journey in the last 5 years Thank you. If not and you pissed me off…fuck you and everything you stand for.

Also big shout to Spotify for being there as I work on all my projects, and slowly learning my music habits. I appreciate you and your creepy ways.

Hail to the Guardians of the watch tower, Sun, Moon, star, North, south, east and west. Please help me achieve all my art dreams, those spoken and not spoken of. Let my life being balanced of art, joy, relaxation and no stress.

Blessed be.

Juvenescent Jubilation

08 Sunday Dec 2019

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AQVY9LiF

Dear Friends of Jano,

The frigid season of winter is damn near, but it already feels like the bottom of a frozen ocean. FUCK MAN. So far the only good thing that has happened this month is that I got to see Incubus in concert.

YEET. 

At various points before they started playing I thought how I wish Gym Class Heroes was still a thing like Incubus, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco and everyone else. Can someone make this a thing. 

Please.

Anyway, honestly this is gonna be a brief and easy issue. And by brief and easy I mean it  isn’t dramatic as fuck as much as my other issues about my art journey. Thats right this issue will be inadvertently family friendly for the holidays. 

One blazing as fuck summer day this summer, one of my friends texted me saying that she wanted to do pictures of her son. That sounds doable. We started discussing slave schedules and locations. She texted me a location that she saw on her mail route, but was open for other locations. Since data limits were a thing for me this year, I waited til I got home to google the area.

Not gonna lie, I wasn’t impressed…at all.

And I told her that. I suggested Freedom Park the same place where I shot (Insert issue link here) since 1.It actually has more visually as opposed to an open grass field with a raggedy ass swing that the original park had and 2. It would be more for her son to interact with.

She was down for it. We set a date for a Friday afternoon in August. I left the cotton field, grabbed a sandwich from Harris Teeter and headed to the park.

I told ya’ll this is a really simple story. 

I waited for her to arrive. She called me at some point because she wasn’t sure of the area. Eventually she showed up and we walked into the park. 

Remind me to never to do a photoshoot of a child after picking cotton all day.  Lil dude was an energy dynamo, like Finn from Adventure Time. On god nigga, On god. I was struggling to keep up, but I took solace in the fact how much I was gonna pass out when I got home.  We were there for 2 hours at best, and we dispersed to separate paths and life.

See like I said this a real simple issue. To see the jubilation of my friends child click here.

Anyway this is probably gonna be last issue of the year. I had hoped to release another one before the year was out, but the way my slavery schedule is looking and the physical  limits of this human vessel I inhabit that may not happen. 

UGH

Hopefully I can, but spoiler alert don’t hold your breath.

Hopefully 2020 I will accomplish more of my goals on my journey. To be honest I am so disappointed with myself. I still have 2 stones left that have yet to acquire. If you have been paying attention to these issues and know about Thanos, I really appreciate ya’ll I do.   If not well, go back and do some reading.

Need some guidance on stone journey? Well here ya go the stones I collected purple, pink, blue and green. Honestly the other issues I released this year were just, well for a lack of better words filler issues.

*shrugs*

As far as my comic saga Azure Ascendance, Man I’m so irked that I didn’t get as far as I wanted. Real shit this job exhaust the shit out of me, a nigga just wants to color like its 2016, that’s it. And ya know eventually get it animated on a streaming service,

Thats it.  Ya know simple things.

Spoiler Alert, depending on how the next few months go will determine if I will be releasing issues monthly as I have the past few years. I’m literally all caught up in my photo journey after the next issue. 

Yea…

Hail to the Guardians of WatchTower

Sun, Moon, star, north, south, east and west. 

Osiris my king

Hekate my queen

Let 2020 be a more productive year for my photography. Let me acquire the last 2 stones, as well the other shoots that I want to do.Free me from this current cotton field and please let me be able to work  on my comic series, Azure Ascendance and release issues on a more steady rate. While eventually working toward a way to get my series animated in the way I imagine.

Blessed Be.

Abandoned Ravens Nest

01 Friday Feb 2019

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unspecified-11Dear Friends of Jano,

Damn its February already, fuck thats wild. But this polar vortex is even wilder, FUCK its so fucking cold when I leave my house to go pick cotton before the freaking sun is up.  Its 2019 and I’ve never heard of a polar vortex ever in my life prior to this week.  Is this the end of everything??? If it is I hope I get my X-Men Vs Street Fighter game first, it still hasn’t arrived since last issue. GRRRSSSH.

Anyway.

I type this as I breath in Lavender and Peppermint mist from my diffuser, hopefully it will calm me down as I type this.

But Jano Why?

Because 2018 was a fucking existential photographic nightmare. Thats right, as of this issue we are now in 2018 and will be for only 5 issues after this issue. I had so many photographic aspirations and goals last years that went unfulfilled. And here I was thinking that it would be simpler than the concepts I tried to pursue in 2017. Definitely found out there are deeper levels to feeling like trash. But we will get to that later.

As for right now we are gonna flashback to January 2018. My actress homegirl friend England Simpson, wanted to do another birthday photoshoot with her sister like we did in 2017.  Her and her sister share the same birthday as Edgar Allen Poe, yes the Edgar Allen Poe. I don’t know why I felt the need to say the Edgar Allen Poe like there is more than one. Fuck its 2019 and I’m going for dramatic effect for no reason. Anyway after our initial convo I started thinking of places where we could shoot at. The first place I thought of was McGill Rose Garden, figured it would be a nice ambiance.

Well it would have been. The original day we were going to do it England was on her deathbed (not really) and since I don’t like the idea of shooting someone when they are not feeling good we postponed it. The new shoot day became that Monday on Martin Luther King Jr Day, but we found out that the rose garden was closed on Mondays.

FUUUUUCK.

Spoiler Alert, I wasn’t that upset.

I scrolled my brain for possible new places and I remembered Stone Jackson Military School. My spirit was hit with so much joy.

But Jano why?

Stone Jackson Military School is an abandoned school with a mass amount of empty buildings. And I legit have been wanting to do an abandoned shoot for the longest period in my life. Well more so since I got serious about my photography journey in 2016. I had scouted it back in the summer of 2017, I had only drove by it though. But the campus is huge, impressive as fuck, and filled with so much potential.

That Monday came, the girls met at my house on the frigid fucking morning and we headed toward the campus. In retrospect there may have been a polar vortex that day too, cuz NIGGA it was cold. Oppressively and disrespectfully cold. England had told me on the drive up there that she was excited because she had viewed it online and saw some of the photos others had shot there. We were all filled with high hopes and magical negro joy.

Right about that.

We got there and all the buildings were fenced up, not regular fences but Jurassic Park style fences.  Nigga is there a T-Rex here?

Oh nigga I was upset, when I drove by this place a few months prior these fences weren’t in existence. Well they were in existence but not there. Since the vibe from this place was  forbidden as fuck, I parked at a store strip mall down the street from the school and we walked to the school.

Did I say it was cold as fuck? No well it was cold as fuck.

It only took a few minutes to get to campus from where I parked. We had to make sure not to step and slip on freshly frozen patches, the last thing was 3 negroes seen busting their asses on forbidden property. We looked around trying to see if there was any place we could sneak in a building.

*sigh*

Everything was boarded up and if it wasn’t boarded it was enclosed by fences that might as well be electric. At some point an old black man drove by and gave us a warning about us being on the property. At first we thought he was gonna be an informant and the cops would pull up and arrest us shortly after. But in retrospect he probably was just looking out for us so we wouldn’t be a new statistic of cop racism.

Despite his warning we stayed on campus a little while longer trying to make the best out of a blarghed scenario. The whole gated ambiance legit killed my mood, worse than an anime death scene I’ve seen. Shit was worse than seeing Neji die. At some point we saw a  gated building that had a hole in it, so England and I decided that we were gonna sneak in to get some shots while her sister decided to watch out. We literally just got in the gate and she told us that she heard a car, we bolted out of the enclosure ASAP. England escaped with no problems, me not so much. My coat got snagged as did my jeans, HARD. Cotton oozed from my goat and my thigh to my shin was exposed.

NIGGA!!!

That frigid weather is way worse when your body is exposed. I felt the wind fill my pants and tickle my balls. My whole ball sack and butt hole was frozen.

Spoiler Alert it is not a pleasant feeling, no such feelings existed for me that day. GOD DAMN IT my balls were cold.

We stayed a little bit longer to get some more shots of what we could so this trip wouldn’t be a total waste, but at some point our collective negro spider senses said we should leave to avoid police confrontation. The last thing I wanted was to have icicles growing out my asshole while dealing with a problematic racist cop while pursing my dreams.

We left, arrived back at my house, and as they chose their photos I changed pants and reclaimed the heat that I had been deprived of for the past 2 hours. The shoot was ok, minus that and everything being fucking gated as fuck. Maybe one day I’ll get to shoot an abandoned building without fear of prosecution. Martin Luther King Jr died for the right to purse my art dreams.

Anyway to view some of the photos from the day my nuts became surrounded by ice click here.

Anyway as Bugs Bunny says Thats All Folks, for this issue at least. Hopefully by the next issue I will have gotten my damn X-Men Vs Street Fighter game, beaten Final Fantasy 7, went to Anderson Paaks Concert, and somehow managed to finish coloring as issue of my comic series. Yo real shit I miss being unemployed like I was in 2016 – early 2017, I could stay up all night and work on my art all night. I just wanna color damn it.

Hail to the Guardian of the Watch Tower.  Sun, Moon, Star, North, South, East and West. Help me find time and give me the strength to color the rest of my comic series Azure Ascendance. Help me get it to where it is on Netflix and never have work these jobs I care nothing for ever again. And that I do the photoshoots that I didn’t get to last year.

Blessed Be.