Well here we are in 2022. I won’t be foolish enough to say that this will be my year and neither should you. Let us just hope for the best and brace for the worse. As Spike Spiegel said
“Whatever happens, happens.”
But i’m hoping i don’t loose my shit like I did in the extra trying times of 2021.
Holy fucking fuck of fuckdom, and we lost Betty White. SHIT!!!
Kinda wanna watch Golden Girls now. I’ve seen a few episodes but not enough to say I was a fan. But it was enjoyable. At some point I’ll watch it, some point.
I just jumped down The Witcher 3 hole. I saw my homeboy play it back in 2016, that and Dragon Age Inquisition but i chose the Dragon Age Path. Whenever I finish my book, i’m going to play through all the Dragon Age games thus far. I’m somewhere in 1 right now. At this point I’m hoping I finish my series before Dragon Age 4 comes out.Legit looking forward to playing games with no guilt again. So many games….to beat…so many….
Anyway time for Adventure time C’mon tell a friend.
The chaotic spring of 2021, shortly after me having Covid and in the midst of my car randomly shutting off on me….yea.
My non profit boss, who helped me do the groundwork for my store, decided that she was going to create a new shop.
YEEET.
Crystals, Candles, and all those other witchy related things that make your soul go
YAAAAAAAAS….or maybe that just me. Is it just me? Can’t be. This is a safe witch zone.
Omg Jano are you a witch?
Spoiler Alert.
I’ve been interested since i was fledgling, but I didn’t have money for a witch life style until cotton field 10.
Blessed be. But also fuck that job.
Anyway I told her if she helped me buy a photo light wand, I would help her do her product photography. Surprisingly she bought me a wand and here we are 7 months later. When I held the wand I felt like i was holding a light saber.
Use the Force Jano.
MAN It was so cool, so fucking kool. I yeeted as my meat leaked. I ordered myself another light saber because balance is a thing. When my Covid quarantine was over her and I agreed on the nearest Saturday. I packed my car with my newly acquired light sabers, light studio set, and all my witchy things.
“Ma I’ve been Hussling rocks” as Cam’ron said.
Ya know crystals, incense, sage cauldron, charcoal, and herbs. The basices.I drove to her house and we stopped by Dollar Tree to get a few other things.
And food, niggas need food to properly function in all aspects in life.
I like how my art interest and witchy interest intersected here. In this moment my life was a Venn diagram.
She had a piece of fabric that I used as a backdrop which helped with the mystic mood. I placed the products and props on the table and the light sabers on the adjacent side of the table. I shifted the colors to match the corresponding of each candle.As smoke flowed through each image as the water flows down a stream.
ISSA VIBE!!!
Ain’t that what the kids say?
I used my newly acquired tripod since I didn’t want a repeat of the headshots from last issue. Literally the only thing that moved in these images were the smoke, that it. No such other movement existed.
It was a fun 1-2 hrs for me. Product photography is interesting, at least this was since I am interested in this subject matter.
And that was the end of that. My metaphysical image buzz ended unfortunately as my car shut off on me while on the way home.
UGH.
Side note, I like how my photo journey in my car problems are synonymous for the early part of last year. Not really tho.
Anyway to see the images from this mystic day click here. And if you want things to help you with your occult journey and want to support black owned business, yonder over here.
I’m going to do my hair now, because that is what you do when your love your curls.
Damn its February already, fuck thats wild. But this polar vortex is even wilder, FUCK its so fucking cold when I leave my house to go pick cotton before the freaking sun is up. Its 2019 and I’ve never heard of a polar vortex ever in my life prior to this week. Is this the end of everything??? If it is I hope I get my X-Men Vs Street Fighter game first, it still hasn’t arrived since last issue. GRRRSSSH.
Anyway.
I type this as I breath in Lavender and Peppermint mist from my diffuser, hopefully it will calm me down as I type this.
But Jano Why?
Because 2018 was a fucking existential photographic nightmare. Thats right, as of this issue we are now in 2018 and will be for only 5 issues after this issue. I had so many photographic aspirations and goals last years that went unfulfilled. And here I was thinking that it would be simpler than the concepts I tried to pursue in 2017. Definitely found out there are deeper levels to feeling like trash. But we will get to that later.
As for right now we are gonna flashback to January 2018. My actress homegirl friend England Simpson, wanted to do another birthday photoshoot with her sister like we did in 2017. Her and her sister share the same birthday as Edgar Allen Poe, yes the Edgar Allen Poe. I don’t know why I felt the need to say the Edgar Allen Poe like there is more than one. Fuck its 2019 and I’m going for dramatic effect for no reason. Anyway after our initial convo I started thinking of places where we could shoot at. The first place I thought of was McGill Rose Garden, figured it would be a nice ambiance.
Well it would have been. The original day we were going to do it England was on her deathbed (not really) and since I don’t like the idea of shooting someone when they are not feeling good we postponed it. The new shoot day became that Monday on Martin Luther King Jr Day, but we found out that the rose garden was closed on Mondays.
FUUUUUCK.
Spoiler Alert, I wasn’t that upset.
I scrolled my brain for possible new places and I remembered Stone Jackson Military School. My spirit was hit with so much joy.
But Jano why?
Stone Jackson Military School is an abandoned school with a mass amount of empty buildings. And I legit have been wanting to do an abandoned shoot for the longest period in my life. Well more so since I got serious about my photography journey in 2016. I had scouted it back in the summer of 2017, I had only drove by it though. But the campus is huge, impressive as fuck, and filled with so much potential.
That Monday came, the girls met at my house on the frigid fucking morning and we headed toward the campus. In retrospect there may have been a polar vortex that day too, cuz NIGGA it was cold. Oppressively and disrespectfully cold. England had told me on the drive up there that she was excited because she had viewed it online and saw some of the photos others had shot there. We were all filled with high hopes and magical negro joy.
Right about that.
We got there and all the buildings were fenced up, not regular fences but Jurassic Park style fences. Nigga is there a T-Rex here?
Oh nigga I was upset, when I drove by this place a few months prior these fences weren’t in existence. Well they were in existence but not there. Since the vibe from this place was forbidden as fuck, I parked at a store strip mall down the street from the school and we walked to the school.
Did I say it was cold as fuck? No well it was cold as fuck.
It only took a few minutes to get to campus from where I parked. We had to make sure not to step and slip on freshly frozen patches, the last thing was 3 negroes seen busting their asses on forbidden property. We looked around trying to see if there was any place we could sneak in a building.
*sigh*
Everything was boarded up and if it wasn’t boarded it was enclosed by fences that might as well be electric. At some point an old black man drove by and gave us a warning about us being on the property. At first we thought he was gonna be an informant and the cops would pull up and arrest us shortly after. But in retrospect he probably was just looking out for us so we wouldn’t be a new statistic of cop racism.
Despite his warning we stayed on campus a little while longer trying to make the best out of a blarghed scenario. The whole gated ambiance legit killed my mood, worse than an anime death scene I’ve seen. Shit was worse than seeing Neji die. At some point we saw a gated building that had a hole in it, so England and I decided that we were gonna sneak in to get some shots while her sister decided to watch out. We literally just got in the gate and she told us that she heard a car, we bolted out of the enclosure ASAP. England escaped with no problems, me not so much. My coat got snagged as did my jeans, HARD. Cotton oozed from my goat and my thigh to my shin was exposed.
NIGGA!!!
That frigid weather is way worse when your body is exposed. I felt the wind fill my pants and tickle my balls. My whole ball sack and butt hole was frozen.
Spoiler Alert it is not a pleasant feeling, no such feelings existed for me that day. GOD DAMN IT my balls were cold.
We stayed a little bit longer to get some more shots of what we could so this trip wouldn’t be a total waste, but at some point our collective negro spider senses said we should leave to avoid police confrontation. The last thing I wanted was to have icicles growing out my asshole while dealing with a problematic racist cop while pursing my dreams.
We left, arrived back at my house, and as they chose their photos I changed pants and reclaimed the heat that I had been deprived of for the past 2 hours. The shoot was ok, minus that and everything being fucking gated as fuck. Maybe one day I’ll get to shoot an abandoned building without fear of prosecution. Martin Luther King Jr died for the right to purse my art dreams.
Anyway to view some of the photos from the day my nuts became surrounded by ice click here.
Anyway as Bugs Bunny says Thats All Folks, for this issue at least. Hopefully by the next issue I will have gotten my damn X-Men Vs Street Fighter game, beaten Final Fantasy 7, went to Anderson Paaks Concert, and somehow managed to finish coloring as issue of my comic series. Yo real shit I miss being unemployed like I was in 2016 – early 2017, I could stay up all night and work on my art all night. I just wanna color damn it.
Hail to the Guardian of the Watch Tower. Sun, Moon, Star, North, South, East and West. Help me find time and give me the strength to color the rest of my comic series Azure Ascendance. Help me get it to where it is on Netflix and never have work these jobs I care nothing for ever again. And that I do the photoshoots that I didn’t get to last year.
Its 2019 and it is a legit warm day opposed day compared to how cold it felt during the fall. MAN I hope it stays like this for like the rest of winter. My bank account would so appreciate it. Legit don’t want to pay more of a gas bill than necessary. No seriously. Keeping warm is fun until you have to pay for it.SMH.
Anyway right now I am legit typing this after deep throating a Burrito at Qdoba and fighting my urge to fully pass the fuck out like I usually do post cotton field. Spoiler Alert, I legit picked cotton today. No seriously. I felt the pain of my ancestors today in a diluted form, Moments like this why I totally sided with Killmonger. Nigga where the fuck is Wakanda??
This issue will actually be a stark contrast to the last four in terms of the amount of salt, shade and sarcasm. As in little to none.
But Jano why? I like the asshole part of you.
Awwww thanks, I actually feel warm because of that. Still tired as shit, but just a lil bit warm. Is this what humanity feels like?
But this issue is a family issue, and the events of this photoshoot was no where near as difficult as the last four. Side note this is the last photoshoot I did of 2017. By choice? No, but we will talk about that later on.
MAAAAN 2017-2018 was an existential nightmare. As Avril Lavigne’s complicated plays in my head now.
Hell this issue probably won’t be that long.
So my really close awesome homegirl friend, mother of the child I shot in Nature Badge, told me that she wanted to get photos of all her children. And since her and I have been besties since the era of Tom and Myspace I said that’s kool. The only actual issue there was with his entire shoot was to pick a time that we were both available.
In case you forgot I wasn’t working for 9 weeks over the summer of 2017, and when I did start working again it was back in the cursed land of retail. Fun. She told me about this Freedom Park Festival thing, which I literally have never heard of before a day in my life. Interestingly enough my schedule for that week allowed me to be free when she wanted. Look at retail hours not fucking up my life. Kinda.I was working 5am shifts, which are kool to a point., but nigga when you get off your body is ready to crash like *insert crashing body reference here.
Around the time it was time for me to get off I saw the store getting filled with people and it looked like my coworkers needed help…and I made no effort to help at all. Nope, no such help existed. I went to Food Lion to get cookies for the kids for a bribe. Yep, I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not good with children at all, so if snacks as a reward are gonna help you said children right so I can get photos of said children, then damn it I’m gonna buy snacks, with the parents permission. Consent is key.,
We all arrive at the park, and I’m legit trying to stay awake and keep up with the pace of life. I talked mostly to my home girls eldest daughter who I shot before, still not legit use to children liking me. Unlike R.Kelly I don’t spend time around underaged people. The whole event was fun though, the kids got their face painted, had funnel cakes, play on the playground, and did other kid things. At some point I got pointed out that a member of the Carolina Panthers was there. Don’t ask me who I legit couldn’t tell ya.
I told ya’ll this is a pretty peaceful issue. Did I give the Spoiler alert? if not
Spoiler Alert, this is a pretty peaceful issue.
To see the chillest and most relaxed photoshoot I did of 2017 click here.. Most of these are candids, but I do candids oh so well.
Anyway like I said this is the last shoot I did of 2017. Next issue will be the start of the existential crisis that was 2018.
Spoiler Alert, unlike 2017 all of the photoshoots I did in 2018 will be premiered on may website this year.
SMH.
Anyway, I am about to do what I did after the events of this shoot….go home and pass the fuck out. Well probably after I watch Naruto and One Piece. This year I’m on the final episodes of Naruto, and the DressRosa Arc of One Piece. At some point before next issue I need to beat Final Fantasy 7. Especially since I just ordered X-Men vs Street Fighter. I can finally play it in the manner it was intended 20 years ago. 14 year old Jano would be happy as fuck.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
DAMN!
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
But.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
*Deep Breath*
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Rates?
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
FUCK.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
…..
Well…
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
UGH.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
*deep breath.
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.
Yo, I’m tired as shit. Like Really, like really fucking really. I legit haven’t felt like typing anything significant all month, tweets and facebook status don’t count.
But Jano why?
Because after four months of not working I finally started working again and my body hasn’t adjusted yet.
Wait you wasn’t working?
Yea that was a thing (again) this summer. And once I started working 4 weeks ago, I literally had the most random work and sleep schedule. The only thing I felt like doing was bathing my senses in streaming media, in particular Adventure Time, DareDevil Season 3, Seven Deadly Sins, and now Castlevania. And now here it is Halloween. Holy Fuck. Sucks my costume won’t get here until after Halloween, but my scouter arrived tho Fuckery. Blargh it all.
Anyway.
Fuck, I literally just woke up and I am trying to remember how to use words. Especially since I haven’t typed anything significant in a while. Blargh. This may legit be a short issue since I have to be up in a few hours for the new cotton field I shuck and jive for. Real shit, I kinda miss being unemployed and doing art. Awww tender moments.
Oh yea the next quest in my art journey.
So I had done one part of the photoshoot that was inspired by The Craft, but there was still another part I wanted to do. A goth girl on UNCC’s campus.
I went back to craigslist to find another model.
But Jano why didn’t you ask the model who you shot in the graveyard?
Honestly, I don’t know. Working with her was fun but just decided to find another one.
*shrugs*
There may be a more legit reason, but like I said I just woke up and probably can’t remember at this moment.
So back to a barrage of replies via Craigslist. The few people that replied I was like nah ma’am y’all ain’t it. Until one Thursday night when I was at my friends house after doing a drawing session for my comic I got an email. Bingo we had a winner.Top grade aesthetic. We agreed to shoot on the upcoming Sunday.
Legit just remembered this is actually a short story, although considering how long it took me to get to this point is what make it feels long as hell.
That Sunday arrived and she asked if we could shoot earlier than we originally agreed on, which was kool. I went to go pick her up and we headed to UNCC’s campus.
Spoiler Alert, UNCC’s campus is big as fuck. It is. Especially considered to UNCG’s. The first time I ever walked on that campus, I legit got lost trying to find my car after arriving too late for a B.O.B concert in 2010. I would walk it at times for no real reason years after and realize this place has a lot of photo potential.
We arrive on campus and she told me doesn’t have a lot of model experience, which is fine because I’m still trying to gain experience directing models. I probably would have a lot more if people didn’t ghost on me all the fucking time, yet still like my social media post. OOPS there goes that shade covered sodium chloride.
The shoot went fine though. I have everything pre visualized before I shoot someone, and whatever I forgot gets replaced by a random idea. Balance in the name of Thanos. *Finger Snap. We talked about ideas that would be fun to do as we traversed that huge sun beat campus. I dropped her off and that was that.
Yea, this is a short story after all. Fuck it. I’ll give you a verbal preview of next issue.
Jano continues his art journey with a new concept. He purchases props for the concept once he finds a model who is down for the idea but he never hears from her again as she continues to post online. Will Jano find a new model? Or will she reply to help him out?
If reading that made you go damn nigga and aroused your curiosity, then you’ll wanna read the next issue. Until then check out the images from this quest here.
Anyway, I’m over using words right now. Plus I have to be up in 4 hours for cotton field duties. Happy Halloween. Maybe next year I will get to be my favorite Saiyan Prince.
Yo if anyone gets me the new Spider Man game for PS4 I PROMISE, I fucking promise on god that I will….probably just be extremely grateful. Idk. I’m not big on making promises that I may not or don’t want to keep.
Just Saying.
Anyway, here we are. That nice little bonus issue that I was talking about in my last issue filled with high grade NaCl.
Some of you are probably googling NaCl. Salt niggas, Salt. Which I don’t plan on having an abundance of in this issue.
Anyway I want to debut my new Sketchtape.
Definition of Sketchtape, a clever combination of Sketchbook and Mixtape.
Used in a sentence,
Jano Ryusaru Presents his new Sketchtape Emerald Evisceration.
TADA.
I actually finished this earlier this year, but didn’t want to premiere it until I finish debuting each image on my social media pages from my last project Numinously Noir.
I started working on this spring 2017. At some point when I was working on Act 1 of my comic series Azure Ascendance, I had an urge to draw crazy ridiculous shit like I did in my first Sketchtape Miasmic Emancipation.
No thoughts, no fucks, just random line strokes and whatever formed is what formed. In a sense it was my Marshall Mathers 2. You can try to figure out “the meaning” of each image if you want, its your cognitive function you are wasting not mine.
However Spoiler alert, only 2 of these images in this project have any significance to me at all. If you figure out which then feel free to email me which 2 you think it is. The only thing you will get is a right or wrong answer. So if validation is what you are seeking feel free. Don’t expect us to do a discussion on it though.
Anyway.
The initial plan was to color these images when I was all finished with my comic series, but ya know how life be. Me getting my computer and drawing tablet stolen really fucked up my production schedule of my series. So I shifted to a mindset of I’ll color Act 2 once I finish storyboarding Act 3 and 4. Eventually I got my replacements, but the photography projects that I thought I would be able to knock out with no problems kept having well problems. Hell it still it is, here it is September and I still haven’t been able to do the 6 shoots I wanted to do this year. Fickle ass cunts denying me my infinity stones.I promise you disrespect is when someone says they will do the shoot, you buy the supplies and you never hear from them again. A message saying “I changed my mind” or something similar would suffice, instead of me foolishly reaching out and wasting my time waiting.
OMG Jano, what if they are reading this?
Spoiler Alert; I don’t give a fuck.
What does this have to do with my SketchTape, well a person has to self medicate some how. Some people buy adult coloring books, I color in images that I already drew a year prior. The combination of continuous cancellations and delays, fickle mindsets of those who previously agreed and a hidden episode from a saga in 2016 hit me pretty hard. Gotta love an existential crisis that you can numb through coloring with a myriad of hex codes, while blasting Incubus, Jungle Pussy, and Krizz Kaliko. I think I would have rather fought Thanos instead but an art catharsis is kool too, I guess.
I emotionally stroke this project down and didn’t pull out. Drip Drip.
You can either view the project in its entirety here. Or you can either follow my social media pages (see links on side bar navigation because I am not linking each of them here again) and watch me drop an image a month. Your choice, not my concern.
ANYWAY.
Next issue we continue my photography journey. Until then I’m gonna do hood rat shit with my friends, I think I have earned it after the past few months. But right now I am gonna lay here and let my back heal from drawing. Yea you read that right. Also yay for Iron Fist season 2 not sucking, I actually didn’t cringe nearly as much as I did in season 1.
Before we get started I just want to publicly lament how I couldn’t accomplish any of my travel goals this year because of typical job fickleness. Maybe next year I can I go afford to go to DragonCon, AfroPunk, and Charleston SC.Oh the goals I had this year, and how life scoffed at said goals. Maybe next year. Hell I hope next year I can afford to use the air conditioning,NIGGA it is September and it is still hot as fuck. NIGGA!! At this point my body has adjusted to the heat, mostly.
At least Eminem dropped a new CD which I heard is fiya. Its the little things in life that give me pleasure, especially the big victories that allude me.
ANYWAY.
Spoiler Alert. The next few issues about my photography journey will be filled with mass amounts of Shade, Salt and Sarcasm. More so than usual.
So who remembers the movie The Craft? Ya know the movie with 4 witches on the west coast. Right, well I just recently saw the movie for the first time in December of the cunt bag year of 2016.
Damn Jano, why so late?
Look we can have a whole discussion of all the movies I never saw growing up, if you really want that disappointment just email me.
I saw it and my spirit liked it, so much to the point that it inspired to do a Craft themed photoshoot. April 2017 came and I took to Craigslist and placed an ad, figured since I got a model in a quick fashion last time it would be just as easy.
Things were not that easy. Not at All.
When I planned this out in my head I wanted this to be a two parter. Half of it would take place on UNCC’s campus and the other half in a graveyard. Not any graveyard, I wanted a graveyard with actual headstones not just plaques. I had to google graveyards, because not like I spend times chilling in graveyards. Well there was that one time back in summer 08 when I was home for break. Two of my friends were like lets go hang out at a graveyard and drink late Saturday night. Spoiler Alert, that shit was kinda odd at least for me, for my two homeboys it was just another night.. Fear of being arrested is a very real thing. But man things were simpler back then.
Anyway.
My graveyard search didn’t last long, literally the first place I decided to check out had the atmosphere I was looking for. Thank you Elmwood Cemetery. Now for the model.
MAAAAAAN Listen. Arduous does not define the fuckery of this process. Holy fucking fuck of AIDS cunt fuckdom. I did get some candidates who I were legit impressed by, but these basic face Beckys would stop replying. How the FUCK do you sign up to do a witch themed photoshoot but have issues taking pictures in a graveyard? Basic fucking white girls.
Dear White People, don’t claim a lifestyle that you ain’t really down for.
The other candidates who replied to the Ad, I legit didn’t like their aesthetic. At all. Spoiler Alert, I am picky at times. Despite the desire to knock out a project I’m not just gonna accept anybody. What type of nigga do you think I am? Gosh.
There was one girl who was totally excited for the entire concept. She was fine with the graveyard, I liked her face (well how she made up her face) and I genuinely thought she was going to bring my project to life.
Nope.
At some point this little pale,sour face, anorexia nervosa, spoiled cunt stopped replying to my messages when I reached out to see if she was still down. I think I saw her working at a Starbucks at Northlake mall. I legit wanted to bash her head into the pastry container and pour hot coffee on this bitch, after I pummel her to death with a god damn scone.I bet her pussy smells like rotten garlic and a spoiled Mcdonald egg mcmuffin.
Side note, I’m actually a really chill and lackadaisical person….until you waste my time or piss me off.
At this point we are in July. Yes Friends of Jano, fucking July.
A girl replies and says she wants to model for me but thinks because she is black I won’t pick her. I tell her I don’t give a fuck as long I think she can help bring my idea to life. So she replied back with her photo and I was like YAAAAAAS. I liked her face, especially since unlike the others girls who replied she didn’t have much if any make up on in any of the photos she sent me.
And now ya’ll know where I got the term basic face Beckys, because majority of the white girl population have very beat down and bland faces without make up. Google it. Even though I don’t think this should be news.Some don’t and I applaud ya’ll for over coming that genetic defect.
Anyway we make plans to meet one day. I get downtown and try to figure out a place to park, I almost had to push this old white woman into traffic when I asked her about downtown parking and she replied with a preppy attitude. Bitch I hope your lover gives you an STD, and lets a homeless person piss on your sunburnt skin.
I told ya’ll I’m full of high grade sodium chloride for the next few issues.
We meet at the Graveyard and we vibe with each other the entire time. She tells me she hasn’t modeled in a while, I tell her its Kool as we both played off each others ideas. I had to go get quarters for our parking meters at some point, as I did that she did an outfit change. The only problem I had the entire time that there was a homeless guy who 1. Looked like he was gonna take out stuff and 2. This nigga was in the back of my potential shots so I had to rearrange what I wanted to.
OMG Jano, I can’t believe you actually did a photoshoot in a graveyard.
Look, I have dreams to follow. Plus according to all the tombstones I’m pretty sure everyone buried were old racist fucking white people. And I took great joy in trampling over their hate filled graves. I would legit fuck in a graveyard, pull out and bust my nigga cum from my bbc. Bukake for all the dead racist spirits.
Reparations Nigga!! *Dave Chappelle voice.
Anyway.
When it was over we went Amelies and she told me about the type of photos she wanted to do. I was like word sounds fun. None of them have happened yet but maybe one day hopefully. In the meantime to see the photos from this day that took 3 months in the fucking making click here.
Next issue will be special issue for lack of better words, so it won’t be any where near this amount of shade and hostility. Not to say it won’t be there but it will be diluted compared to this. Until then I’m gonna finish up rewatching Gundam Wing. 18 years later I still love that show.
I legit debated if I wanted to try this given the results of last time.
Jano, what happened last time? Why are you being vague as fuck? Why do you ask yourself questions in 3rd person?
Back in 2016 when I started this Art Journey and was unemployed as fuck, I decided to make an Indiegogo page to raise funds to get some camera equipment.
Spoiler Alert: No one donated anything. None, no such donations existed.
I legit saw the most random of causes from help me get a new pet to I need a new video game system because my ex girl friend destroyed it when she saw I cheated on her. Legit was being funded by people, meanwhile I got nothing.
My faith in humanity dropped more so, as my inadequacy and trash complex grew more than the Grinches heart when he heard the Whos down in Whoville sang after he stole EVERYTHING.
What did Charles Hamilton say in that song off his mixtape Pink LavaLamp, oh yea
“I once was the loser, now I’m older still the same loser.”
I promise I think that may be one of my theme songs in life.Nihilism at its finest.
Anyway.
I was on wikipedia a few weeks ago looking up Dear White People after I finished watching Season 2. I found out that the movie was funded through an Indiegogo page. And that is how we got here.
Legit thought maybe, just maybe, my comic series Azure Ascendance could gain the money for copyrights through a fundraiser.
But Jano don’t you have a college degree and that hasn’t that got you good high paying jobs?
HA, Nigga you funny. The only thing I have gotten is bullshit low paying retail jobs, or seasonal based projects that believe lay offs are life. I am about to be on my 10th cotton field since graduation. None of which allow me to fully support myself.
Stay In School kids…..could you taste the sarcasm, salt and shade? You could? YAAAASSS, deep throat it, no teeth.
Anyway. My hope is that this will help me get the copyright funds for the rest of my series which I have dedicated my soul to. The same way Thanos wants to balance the universe is my dedication to this project, yea its that deep.
Minus the genocide of the universe part….maybe.
To check out my fundraiser, go forth and click here.
Oh yea here too. Because why not try my luck on two different fund raising sites.
Nevermind the fact that luck was non existent 2 years ago. SMH
I’m actually going to pass out with dreams of my comic series being on Netflix one day. I would say Toonami, but I don’t want my material censored ;).
Ok before we talk about anything relating to my photographic journey I holy need to say Holy Fuck in regards to Avengers Infinity War. After somehow dodging most of the spoilers on social media I saw it last night and damn Thanos. That big purple nigga has me reevaluating my favorite villains in life. Every time he came on screen I was legit shook, like damn it is the Captain of the Death Rape Squad. Thanos is the type of the nigga who doesn’t pull out after he rapes you because he is going to abort the life he blasted inside you and your life when its all done in the name of balance. DAMN. I wish Thanos would blast Kanye West into atomic particles, since this nigga want to slave that slavery was a choice. This Nugga.
Anyway.
So spoiler alert I follow a lot of random things on instagram. photographers, art, models, suicide girls, alternate models, anime and other things that I can’ think of right now. Since I’m bombarded by an array of images of course I am going to be inspired and want to incorporate new things into my art. In particular I wanted to start alternate photography and since I know no one who does it I went to Craigslist.
Spoiler Alert, this was the beginning of so many fucking ads in months to come. But unlike future episodes, I got a model on the first try. Man if it was always this fucking easy. OH MY FUCKING GOD.
She replied, we picked a time, I picked her up, we went to good ol’ Slave ghost filled Latta Plantation park and started shooting. At some point some guy who worked there spoke to us about how photography wasn’t allowed and I would have to pay an amount to shoot.
Look here ya fucking colonizer descendant:
1. I’m not paying a fucking fine to shoot with my fucking equipment. You can suck my whole dick, veins and circles.
2.My ancestors were slaves picking cotton in this god damn park that ya’ll filthy colonizers made a tribute park to. I’ll take photos here freely in honor of them. Now kill yourself ya descendant of murdering colonizing cunt.
Anyway, she did an outfit change and we migrated to the part of the park that wasn’t as plantationy. (New word bonus) That lasted for about another hour, that was about it and I dropped her off. When I did I told her I’ll get her the photos as I can, my calendar was gonna be busy compared to how it usually was with other photoshoots I had to do. More so since I was about to start working.
Holy Shit Jano you finally got a job after not 1 yr and 4 months? Congrats.Holy fuck, where was it?
Don’t Matter since I don’t work there anymore, it was insanely short lived. So one day she texts me where are her pictures? I tell her I’m working on them, I promise you I read nothing but attitude when she replied just send them to me. I don’t deal with unnecessary attitudes especially when I let you know before hand things are gonna be hectic for me. She got the pictures a few days later and that was the end of that. There was a plan to do another shoot with the lights I had got a few months prior but that never happened, fine by me.
I wanna type more but at the same time, I wanna lay down and play some more Final Fantasy 7 while listening to J.Coles new cd again. I need to regain focus on my book. OMG.There are goals I’m hoping to meet within the next few months. The last thing I want is another existential crisis, did I say those are fun. Oh I didn’t because they ain’t. But in joyous news the new season of Dear White People comes out this w.end, so they may help my spirit in some fashion.
Before we go lets take a minute to pay our respects who lost their lives due to the Mad Titan Thanos. He definitely raped the souls out of their bodies. YES LAWD *Anderson Paak voice.
A series of flashbacks of my art journey since the summer of that fuck boy 2016.
OOOOOOOOH
Right now that my special issues are out of the way, we go back to where we left off. 2017.
Man, two thousand fucking seventeen. Holy fuck my niggas it was a legit a god damn motha fucking journey.
Was it as bad as 2016?
No, but I promise you it felt like an RPG at some point in this journey. Spoiler alert we will get to that in a few issues.
But for now we are gonna enjoy simple times and talk about the first photoshoot I did of last year. Spoiler Alert I got paid for it. YES LAWD * Anderson Paak voice. I could afford life for a brief moment in my continued unemployment stint.
One Friday night in January while I was watching YuYu Hakusho when right at Yusuke and Sensui were starting their battle, my phone went off. Hermit me was like who in blue hell is emailing me. It was my actress homegirl England Simpson. Her and her twin sister wanted to do a photoshoot, and the theme of it was to be similar to Beyonce’s Lemonade music video.
Ok so this may piss some people off (Oh well) but I don’t like Beyonce enough to keep up with her music. She is ok but do I care when she release something, nah not at all.
So I watch the Lemonade video to see what they want. Real Shit main thing I saw was a plantation. What? It couldn’t have been just me. Then went to my Bff Google to see if Charlotte has any plantations and holy fuck it does. Legit wasn’t ready for that. Damn the monuments of slavery still fucking exist along side systematic racism and oppression.
FIX IT OBAMA PLEASE!!
Remember when I said 2017 was a journey. Well this was the first part of the literally journey. Spoiler Alert, I drove around a lot last year scouting locations.
So I spent my Sunday plantation hunting, yes that was a legit a thing.
The first place was a pass and honestly not worth describing past this sentence. Place two, hot damn. I arrive and as soon as I pull into the property this old white meth face lady hits the gas and follows me like I am a runaway slave. At some point we both open our windows, I lead to ask her some questions. Her answer was basically leave nigger before I Lynch ya.
Well damn.
Then she drove to chase someone else down. Look Bitch if you don’t want people to visit, close the fucking gate to your low budget Candy Land. Points if you caught the Django reference. Should have burned that whole bitch down.
Place three was a legit charm, well despite the fact that it was a plantation. As much as I hate slavery, I legit never saw myself looking for a plantation. Anyway Latta Plantation was the location and it ddef had that old colonial vibe of Lynch a nigger, rape his wife and then raise the child to be a foot stool, Ding Ding Ding we had a winner. Thank you for still existing a racist ass testament to the dark ages.
I email my friends and tell them that we are all set, Kinda, turns out they would be closed on the day we wanted to shoot.
Fuck. But do I give them points for being closed on Martin Luther King Jr day? Nah cuz it is still fucking plantation.
We defaulted to Independence Park which is off Hawthorne Lane….not Independence Boulevard….wait what? Fuck it. Anyway nigga it was cold as fuck. I need to get that out the way before we continue to establish the setting of this narrative. England and Ingrid had their poses already worked out and how they wanted to go, which made the shoot go faster was fine since it was cold as fuck. Did I say it was as cold as fuck earlier? Just making sure. I think I had one idea I wanted them to bring to life but that was it, and I’m Kool with that.
And that’s all folks, we came back to my place and they picked out their photos as well what they wanted edit wise.
To see some of the pictures from that project, click here.
Real shit I would type more but I think I’m done now. I’m going to indulge myself in Final Fantasy 7 for the first time. I know I’m 20 years late with that. Same with me just now starting to listen to Incubus. Either are a good distraction from recent depression episodes and this existential crisis. Yeah those are loads of fun, not really.
Dear Janolytes,
Dear Friends of Jano,
Dear Friends of Jano,
