In the deep bowels of my spirit I think November went by entirely too fucking fast. It did. There is no reason for it to be 1 week before thanksgiving when this month just fraggin started.
As if.
At least the academic rape like sessions akin to my UNCG undergrad years of October are over. Sadly so is Fairy Tail, I just finished it last night. Kinda sad…BUT apparently a new season is coming next year. YEET.
And Bleach is coming back. BIG FUCKING YEET.
Enough of my usual pre flashback tangent. Time for another Tale of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure *cue music.
This issue begins back in 1998 on Planet Namek.
Nigga what the fuck??
Don’t worry there are time leaps. Anyway as I was saying it was Spring 1998. Goku just landed on Namek, defeated Recoome, and Vegeta dropped the term for the first time in an English dub. The world waited for what seems like an eternity (especially when you are 14) for the next episode of DBZ when Goku fought Burter and Jeice of the Ginyu Force. In summer 1999, VHS tapes of the last part of the Freeza saga started to be released. And my geek ass def start buying them as soon as they dropped. $24.00 per fucking tape with 3-4 episodes.
Man those purchases aged badly when said out loud.
Fall 1999 came. I was a sophomore in high school and i was approached by someone walking to the bus I legit never knew in life. He asked if i was ______, and i was like yea. He had heard I had the new season of DBZ tapes and i said yea.
Side note, life was so fucking simple then. Holy fucking fuck.
Anyway we formed a friendship founded in anime, and have still been friends since the tender age of 14.
AWWWWW tender moments.
Fast forward to Spring 2021.
He had hit me up one day as I was leaving the slave pit Jeff Bezos slave pit. He asked me could I do headshots of his girlfriend. I told him yea I actually have a light set which I have never used.
Wait what?
Yep, I got Christmas money for it in 2016 but I never had an opportunity to use it at all. I practiced on one of my friends kinda in 2017, but it wasn’t that deep.
We made a plans for the following Sunday, so that weekend i decided this may be a good time to practice since it is actually going to be used for an actual client.
Blessed be youtube. On Kami.
Sunday came, and i went to his place after I left the slave pit, changed and got my equipment.
Him and I chatted as I prepared everything. Practice makes perfect kids. Legit didn’t struggle as much this time settling up as the first time I did. I took test shots with my lights in various ways to minimize the harshness of the shadow being casted. Eventually his girlfriend came out and we started.
She was nervous at first. I told her to relax as best she can because it will show on her face and its not flattering.
It didn’t take long for her to relax and get comfortable. I encouraged to play some music and envision yourself as someone you admire. Sometimes I actually am inspirational when I’m not talking shit.
Spoiler Alert.
And that was it. The shoot lasted for an hour, despite that i took a plethora of photos as usual. When I was editing I realized I need to buy a damn tripod because there was no reason for some of those images to be blurry.
None, no such fuckin reason existed.
Hey Google, Play Joe Public live and learn.
As i said the issues that are drama free are the ones when its a client. The one’s where i am chasing an artistic vision my ancestors inserted in my head, MaAAAAAAN its like an anime arc or a final battle rpg fight.
Sephirtoth level shit…which I still need to beat.
FUCK….FUCK.
The rest of the time i was there we all hung out, he showed me the Snyder cut of Justice league. Which …i just remembered I need to finish that. I meant to but, yea life said fuck your summer plans nigga. fuck your plans nigga. *Dave Chappele Rick James fuck your couch voice.
At any rate to see my LinkedIn level images i snapped click here.
Next month is another client so it isn’t complicated. Avril Lavinge would be proud.
Anyone catch that? no? ok fuck yall.
I’m going try to relax without passing out…if that is a thing.
Moral of story, friendships formed in anime lead to opportunities that help your dreams…or some shit.
First off, let us talk about something. I legit have never feared for a group of Anime Protagonist the way I do for the Straw Hat pirates as the assassination attempt on Big Mom has failed MISERABLY.
Holy fucking fuck.
Not even Team Toguro had me this shook. The next 50 episodes will be interesting…as fuck.
Anyway. How goes it? Was your October as exhausting as mine? When I was at UNCG I had periods in my semesters were it was just periods of Academic rape for at least a month.
On Kami October 2021 felt like an retro 2000 academic rape session.
OMG Jano, did you just say Academic Rape? You’re canceled.
Eh, ok. Spoiler Alert, I coined that phrase between 2002-2009. I just haven’t had a reason to say since graduating it in 2009….until now.
At any rate, if September was emotionally exhausting then October was just fucking taxing in the sense of having too much to fucking do. It has been the culmination of events I started back in March of this year.
Er before all the car dilemmas that plagued my spirit and my wallet.
Let me explain.
At some point in Jeff Bezo’s slave pit I thought maybe I should heed the psychics advice in December of starting my own business. It has something that has teetered in my head for random parts of the last decade, but i never fully pursued it. But when a psychic who is speaking with your ancestors tells you that you will be successful at something you have been too timid to do, you say fuck it and fuck it raw with big black mega meat. BOOM BOOM.
I met with my non profit boss and thus the laying of a foundation began. We discussed products, vendors, and all that other businessy stuff. Transitioning my brain from coloring to mathematical shit is a transition, especially all your jobs have been basic slave nigga shit. A week later while at an art show, i drafted up some designs for keychains and pins. The goal was to keep it as simple as possible since i’m literally still working on a comic series. I had to figure out I was going to make said keychains and pins, yeet to the gawdz for youtube.
YEET.
Shortly after I found out from a friend where I could get stickers made. And a friend who I made via my girlfriend helped me get some shirts. At this point I think we are in May when I wasn’t driving my car because the stalling and starting was taking its toll and was a safety issue.
Spoiler Alert, the creation of these products probably was as complicated as my mermaid and candy queen shoots. As the late great DMX Said “I wish it was a lie, but everything I said meant it.”
June came and I finally was able to get some of the supplies I need, but of course there were complications. Complications in the sense of ink cartridges disappearing and reappearing (no really, like really fucking really), and buying the fucking wrong type of shrink paper. Fun. Things hit a halt until July when I had money to spare to buy the things I need. But didn’t really get going again til September a few weeks later after starting this new cottonfield after coming back from New York City.
*deep breath*
Ya’ll, I’m tired just from explaining all this.
I bought my stickers, had to do trial and error with the shrink paper, and various other supplies i needed. I finally got the tshirt press machine from a friend I use to pick cotton with, the goal was to get the machine in the spring but her and I were both having issues in our life. Even making the shirts were a problem.
YO I PROMISE ALL THESE RETROGRADES CHOSE VIOLENCE AGAINST ME, MY SPIRIT AND MY PEACE!!!! THE ENEMY DID NOT WANT ME TO SUCCEED!! ON KAMI!!!!
I just heard a church organ play in my head. SMH.
But here i am with all my products ready finally. I told my non profit college friend boss that I wanted to have my store up and running either before the art show I had last week, or the QC city zine fest I will be this saturday. I didn’t have it up last week, but now it is finally up and running.
Oh, yea I had an art show last Saturday. I was going to make a whole other issue regarding it and the pieces I make for said shows, but since you are here now. I have a gallery for you to check out. Go ahead and take a look then come back when you are done.
Did you check it out? You did and you came back? Yeet.
Even though my store wasn’t ready, i did take some merchandise to be sold in the forms of prints and stickers.
YA’LL PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOUGHT MY SHIT!!!!
It all happened so fast, literally. Within 20 mins of each other I made four sales. I was so floored.
Am I one step closer to becoming a pretty art idol like i want? EXTOL ME MEAT SACK HOES!!!
Excuse me my Vegeta level Narcissism was flaring up again. Pardon me humans.
But in short my store is finally up, and at the moment i don’t think I need to buy anything else…right now. Side note, I got my table banner for art shows. I looked at it and I feel like a One Piece pirate.
Def part of the Worst Generation.
Anyway. Without any more delays or awkward side rants I present to you
I plan on adding more items as time goes on, but right now this is my starting point. And as I have told you I still want to finish my comic series, so please be patient. I’ll make announcements as usual if I had anything new. I’m still navigating through this business owner space. As I navigate remember to sign up for updates on my site.
Also if you reside in Charlotte, like zines, comics and other printed materials. Come to the Queen City Zine Fest to check out me selling copies of my comic series.
Real shit, if you were to tell me my awkward shy ass I would be doing shows, with colored hair, looking kooler than usual to promote my book to get an idol fanbase I wouldn’t have believed you.
Fuck, I don’t even know how to start this issue. Although technically I did just start it with a nice medium size fuck.
Fun.
You know what else is fun? The fact that I’ve been checking my website stats and people are actually coming to my website on a more frequent basis. I’m impressed because no one was coming here for a while when this first started. Are people actually reading the lengthy thesis level issues I present on a monthly basis? I have no idea, but you’ve been logged in the record book either way niggaaaaaa.
Anyway.
So Spoiler Alert, this isn’t going to be your standard issue of me recalling a photoshoot. Honestly at this point in my life I am too exhausted for it right now.
Despite the fact that the next few issues are pretty straight forward and simple. Probably because they aren’t my ideas and don’t involve the chaos of me trying to find a model, a location, etc, etc, et fuckin cera.
Yay, I guess.
But right now I am legit not in the mood for a flashback of Jano Bizarre JRPG Adventure….and I may not be for a month, or two…or more…..
I type this as I listen to Minthaze latest album which matches my somber mood as of late.
OMG Jano are you ok?
Eh, its a litany of things honestly.
Hey Google play H.E.R. I’m not ok. If this was Myspace i would totally have that song embedded on this issue. Simpler times…kinda.
I’m not sure why September sucks for me, but it does. Every year for no apparent reason, maybe it is some form of seasonal affective disorder. You may think I say this in jest, but I’m not. Like clockwork when September arrives my spirit withers for the bulk of the month, even if there is no type of dramatic saga occuring.
However this year it is coupled with a few things.
My Car still isn’t working sadly. I finally took it to the shop and I’m hoping next week ends me having to depend on lyft drivers and using my girlfriends car. At this point in my life I just wanna do hoodrat shit with my friends while surviving a pandemic and racism. That feels like a facebook status, but right now I think I am about to be in recluse mode and disappear off the internet for a while. But this saga has persisted for the last 6 months and I just want it to end.
Essentially I have been grounded and as such I’ve tried to make the best of my time. And with that I have been doing entirely too fucking much in hopes to get my art in these streets. Particularly in the streets of Atlanta, New York City and California via bookstores.
Thats the goal at least. I already have it in one here in Charlotte, but that isn’t good enough for me. I think going to New York City really changed my perspective on somethings. At some point I want to have a book signing event, but I’m still currently making merchandise to ideally sell.
Thats right, lil ol Jano is crafting up in these streets. Ideally before October ends there will at least be a store front. I say ideally because I wanted all this shit done over the fucking summer. But when you combine a Jeff Bezos cottonfield that doesn’t provide many hours nor chances to pick up extra shifts and a car problem that isn’t properly diagnosed, and other things that i can’t put in quick quip phrases. It makes any plans that involve cash rather difficult to fulfill.
So there is that as well.
On top of that I found out I have another art show in a month, which i need to make 2 new pieces for which isn’t so bad. However, I really want to finish coloring issue 13 and do the final touches on act 3 of my comic series. Sadly that may be the last full issue I finish this year.Maybe i can get through issue 14, maybe. The current cottonfield I’m in is busy until Halloween and after that everything tapers off. The real question is will I get kept afterwards and then how long. If i could be unemployed for a few months to work on my book that would be great, but things cost fucking money and its upsetting. Here’s hoping things work out on the art front of life and everything else follows suit.
In midst of all this I found out a friend from college passed away from cancer, adding fuel to the existential fire. Contemplation of how at some points we will either be mourning the lost of friends over the years or we will be the one who is being mourned.
Shit.
The concept of time is absolutely terrifying. As is how eventually we drift apart from each other after we leave a space, and eventually get caught up in the space of our new lives to the point where we rarely reach out to those we no longer share a space with. That sentence was probably a run on but you. caught what I was pitching.
It hurts….at least for me. I miss my friends as I navigate this trail of trials.
I realized in the 4 years I’ve had this site this is the most vulnerable I’ve been.
Sometimes vulnerability is needed tho. Especially when it comes to breaking a pattern I have established over the bulk of the past four years. Right now I’m not in the space to recall a saga with all the plates I need to prepare for consumption as well. Maybe I’ll be gone til November…maybe by then I’ll be back to just working on my book and an issue a month.
Hopefully.
In non somber news, I just finished Dear White People today. I legit loved that show. I was hoping to be finished with my comic before it was over, that and Insecure. However it does not appear to be the case. Ugh I just got somber and existential again.
FUCK.
As long as I finish before One Piece ends. That is still doable…I think.
Side note, if you want to help me get out of these bullshit seasonal cottonfields, while wanting to help have a meaningful job that helps the community and care about the black community. You should donate to Back to Black, the organization I help out with when not wandering through the art fields.
Was that a shameless promotion to help me the non profit work with to get funded faster so that I can have real job?
Yes.
Do I give a shit how tactless that was?
Nope.
At least it wasn’t as tasteless as a youtube ad.
FUCK, i just remember another Mercury Retrograde is on the way.
Wait what was the last issue about? Wait…oh yea….Whale Sharks….right literally almost forgot. Sorry having Corona kinda fucked me up.
OMG JANO!!!???!!!
Yea, I had it. The past 2 weeks were an unnecessary adventure. Do you remember in YuYu Hakusho when Genkai gave Yusuke her spirit orb and he had to absorb it in his body. Some moments he was fine and the next his whole body was on fire, as he laid there cationic.
Yea it was a lot like that, for me. I wish I had a fucking spirit animal to fucking flap around bringing me water. But as if. What would really make up for it would be walking into my old cotton field and murdering the person who caused this fiasco. But ya know murder is problematic (esp if you are black) and my throat lumps up even with allergy meds and a mask.
Ugh, so much fucking As if.
At least I lived, thats important.
*deep sigh.
Anyway.
Hi everyone.
Man I don’t know why I am having an issue with words this month. It’s annoying.
Fuck the segue then.
Today on Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure, it is cosplay time. Come on tell a friend. Meh, that was trash.
As if.
It is now fall of the trying times of 2020. I just restarted working at a cotton field I hoped to never to return to. But desperation creates strange bed fellows. Desperation is honestly an over simplification of things. I legit hate job searching, so much. So fucking much but considering how I never got unemployment from the last slave pit, it was 6 months of no income, and I know it doesn’t take much or long to get hired figured I might as well.
Anyway around November I was scrolling through one of my social people timelines and I asked myself.
Why haven’t I asked my homeboy to model for me as Luke Cage?
We didn’t really come up with an answer, so I hit up my friend and asked would he be down. He was in fact down and we chose a date to do this.
Spoiler Alert, this is actually a really simple issue…and so are the next few too actually. This is kinda odd, but welcome all things considered.
So we chose a date, that wasn’t that hard. It just had to be after I woke up from a slave based nap. Side note the first few months I was working 4am to 8am (830 am, 9am depending how much Masta wanted us to pick.Fun) The place I chose was Camp North End, I had been here a few times, but for him it was his first time. Our GPS’s decided to send us in two different directions, and since I semi know the place I went to the area he was at. Probably for the best because the park situation was not the best where I was.
Anyway.
We met up and I said the classic line of I haven’t seen you since before the plague. No really, I hadn’t. Literally the last time was his bday w.end In February when we all partied and got brunch the day after as usual not knowing a month later when everything would be shut down and fucked with a big corona laced penis that would kill oh so many like a Thanos snap.
Tell me I’m lying.
We chatted as he got his gear, and I looked around as to where I wanted to shoot him first. Side note, aside from the Netflix show I know nothing about Luke Cage, I don’t. I had googled some Pinterest images of additional ways for him to pose, but I was literally assuming since he had been the character he would know about him.
And he did.
We shot for at least 2 hrs. It would have been more BUT there was a literal sea of people between us and the other side of where wanted to go. Some of them weren’t wearing mask either, in a pandemic….nah its time to go. So we did. we picked another date and met up ironically enough the day of my 2nd art show.
WOOT WOOT, I did another art show. which I prob won’t be doing an issue about. *shrugs*. I had thought about it, but meh idk. I’ve done 3 at this point, side note.
Anyway.
The 2nd half went the same as the first, the only difference was now I knew the capabilities of my lenses. Something I honestly should have known for years, but I didn’t. Probably would have helped out in some scenarios, but whatever we are here now.
Spoiler Alert, I was trained in photography the same way Goku was trained in martial arts. That nigga just met people and they thought him shit. Literally thats how I learned. Imagine if I actually went to class, I’d be so much better a yeet gawd.
Curious about this 2 part issue, haha comic pun. Click here.
I’m gonna go enjoy my last night of not working and work on my book. Ugh I don’t wanna go back, I don’t. I have to take a survey before I go back, it’d be a shame if I chose answers that gave me another week off.
OMG Jano, are you still sick?
Nah, but do they know that? Do I talk to anyone at that cotton field on a level that they know about my nickname, or my website? Do motha fuckas even read fully?
Well here we are March 2021, a whole year into a pandemic.
Fascinating.
Terrifying and sobering as well. I’m glad I gave up hope of going to concerts and anime cons again. At this point wondering when this pandemic is going to end is like how many episodes there are left until Namek explodes. Just long as shit for no valid reason.
Anyway.
Time for another care free issue with less drama than any previous issue, Rpg or anime I’ve watched in general.
Side Quest time.
It is weird typing issues like this. But also, Spoiler alert, I’m still in the search of the last 2 “infinity stones” that I began in 2017.
UGH. We can talk about that whenever the fuck I get there….hopefully soon. Watch me finish my comic series and my infinity gauntlet around the same time…prob next year. This is all I live for. Wait, is that why some of ya’ll are still tuning in each month? Am I your new favorite saga, Jano Bizarre’s Art Adventure.
AWWW SHIT NIGGA!!!
Need a reminder of said stones before I continue? Sure take a gander or reminder depending how often you have been to my website. I should name these stones while I’m at, right?
So here we are summer of the trying times of 2020, corona has crippled the world. Literally. Activities are limited, bodies are crippled and demolished by the fiend known as corona. Meanwhile protest for social justice spread like wild fire, since cops seem to literally get away with murder for killing black people.
STILL.
If this sounds like an intro to a dystopian nightmare it is because it was the trying times of 2020, spoiler alert.
I had finished coloring act 2 of my comic series, and decided that my break needed a break. After months of my back curling up like a snail shell design.I decided to focus on helping the nonprofit I am apart of, called Back to Black.
But Jano what is Back to Black?
WELL, essentially it is a non profit organization whose goal it is to help improve the black community. It was started by my friend who I met at UNC Greensboro. One day in Fall 2019 I was picking up an order from her hair and beauty store, because ya know I need to stay pretty and have my curls flowing.
YAAAAAAAAAS.
We decided to get dinner the next day catch up and talk about things, and she told me about her non profit dreams to help the black community. I told her you need to pursue the vision you were given, because if not there is no point in having them.
A month later when we met up for a college friends bday, I found out she added me to her staff. MAN I was not ready, at all. I have non profit experience from the past decade of cotton field experience, but still.
Moral of the Story, sometimes I can be inspiring when I am not talking shit.
Fast forward to last summer, so I guess we are now just…rewinding….wait how does this work?
Anyway. She had planned to do a photoshoot for the clothing line we were launching. The initial goal was to use our fellow staff members, but life was like nah.
Insert me, and having friends. There is a 90s after school lesson somewhere.
I hit up my friend who helped me get the 90s stone….I really need to think of better name for these stones. I asked her would she, her boyfriend and other friends be willing to model for us. The concept was simple, black people living their best life and be unapologetically black. They agreed luckily, because this literally was a last minute thing. We met up at Camp North End under the scorching summer sun. It was a pretty chill event actually….despite the sun emitting full oppression nigger heat.
Like I said this this isn’t a dramatic thing, no long expose’s, no existential dread.None, no such things exist…
In this issue.
We decided to do another one at another time, but in downtown Charlotte a few weeks later.
And that’s it. Fade to black. End scene.
Wait, not yet. But thats all for the events of this issue. To check out the byproducts from the day the sun enter the group chat go forth here. Also check out the music page and CBD hemp store of one of the models.
Before we start can we talk Avengers End Game, like holy fuck. I won’t post spoilers, but damn my heart. Thanos was still slapping people with his big purple dick one year later. Then 2 days later I saw the Battle at Winterfell on Game of Thrones….NIGGA!!!! I was not ready for how that episode ended, at all. I need to rewatch this show when it is over in a few weeks because there is so much I don’t remember, like why the fuck The Night King was searching for Bran.
Anyway.
Ok so this actually a legit chill ass issue.
It is. There is no crisis, long search for a model, prop preparation, location search. None of the things that ya’ll have gotten accustomed to my issues is here.
None, no such dilemmas exist.
Thats next issue.
Spoiler Alert.
Its honestly comparable to one of those feel good stories episodes you see in a show after a vail of fog has been lifted and you see holes of light poking through illuminating the cast.
This issue is a continuation of this one, kinda. My homegirl from college recently surprised me with the fact that she was pregnant when I came to take pictures for their house unveiling for social media. This was in April 2018, this issue takes place June 2018.
She invited me to her gender reveal party, and obviously I went. I didn’t have to take my camera but I took my camera. Force of habit, plus since I was unemployed I had to give some type of gift and pictures of this big moment seem appropriate. For me this was an event like all the ones I attended when I volunteered at non profits and interned at church. Plus considering I barely I knew anyone there beside my homegirl, her husband and my one of our friends from our UNCG college days being occupied by my camera kept me from being completely awkward. I legit can’t contribute to conversations about stable jobs, families and having successful side business, I can’t. I know nothing of those lives.
When I wasn’t snapping photos of the event, I was mostly talking to our friend from college about how life has been since I haven’t seen him since December 2014 in Raleigh when I came for the mothers to be bday party. Between our convos there were games of guess the baby food (which seemed disgusting as fuck) and a few other ones.
Eventually we got to the big moment of the reveal, and my spider sense was right. But we will get that in a minute. The rest of the event was pretty chill, eventually everyone left and It was really my friends from college and their lovers as we sat outside and enjoyed a chill June night.
Look I told ya’ll this wasn’t a dramatic issue at all. Pretty relaxed, sometimes issues like this are good for ya, especially me since there is less I have to have PTSD about.
Anyway to see what my homegirl had go forth and click here.
See told ya this was a hella short issue, like hella fucking short. Now next months issue that’s gonna be lengthy, maybe as lengthy as the mermaid issue. In the meantime I’m gonna hopefully watch of all Gundam Iron Blood Orphans, I doubt it will be better than Gundam Wing but we will see. Finish up Naruto Shippuden and the DressRosa Arc of One Piece, I can promise you this I prob will never rewatch Naruto after this week. And work on the photos from the photoshoot I just recently did that I have been trying to do since last year.
The only thing now is to find a model for my Gold Stone Project, UGGGH.
YO its fucking March now, that shit is wild. Like holy fuck. The concept of time is blowing my mind right now, like woah. Almost as much seeing Anderson Paak in concert did. YES LAWD, that shit was amazing last week. And then Kilo Kish this week. I think concerts maybe a new thing for me, just maybe.
Anyway.
So this months issue is one of those family friendly, wholesome, and full of tender moments that make you believe in humanity. I guess things like this is good for you every once in a while.
Spoiler Alert, I probably won’t be ranting about the events of this shoot…probably.
Side note, I’m legit have some form of writers block right now so the writing in this issue may not be the best.
At some point in February last year while I was scripting my comic series Azure Ascendance, one of my homegirls I met in a Psychology and Law class at UNCG during my last year hit me up. She told me her and her husband were in the process of closing on their first home, and wanted to do house reveal photos. After I gave a wave of holy shit congrats for being real adults, I told her I was down. I let her know I was available on the w.ends mostly. I said mostly because I was technically working two jobs but one wasn’t scheduling me. Right it was odd, not that I was upset but thats another story.
Fuck retail.
Anyway, the date that she wanted to do the photos was actually on Easter and ironically we were close that day. Who knew? Real shit I didn’t know, I didn’t think some retail chains have souls.
*cough Ikea cough*
The day came and I headed to her new house after I got something to eat. I got in her neighborhood and was like oh yea I’m def poor poor and not a real adult. Not at all, no such real adult exist. None.
I parked and walked up to the door.When she opened the door I looked down and saw a pregnancy belly as she yelled surprise.
HOLY FUCK. Wasn’t ready, at all. Like…HOLY FUCK.
Flabbergasted is putting it mildly how shocked I was, I had to sit down. I think I shouted Holy Fuck and Congrats multiple times, along with other things to that affect. Her husband walked in, and I said you couldn’t pull out could ya? We all laughed.
Side note, we all know how babies are made right? Its 2019 and I’m not filtering my mouth for anyone because they missed sex education.
But in case you have no idea I’ll tell ya.
Spoiler Alert, babies are made when sperm bombs explode in a vagina hole.
Anyway after we caught up she told me what type of photos she wanted and we got to it.
Told ya this is a pretty undramatic issue. The only problem that existed was that I need a better lens for wide angle shots. I promise at some point I heard my knee pop while trying to get an all encompassing photo of their house.
FUCK!!!!
Anyway when it was over we went to get something to eat. She asked me if I could I get them done soon so she can do a big social media reveal. So when I got home I knocked it out within a few hours.
Spoiler Alert, I’m the magical pretty negro your parents warned you about.
So Jano what are they having?
Well that will be revealed in another issue. But for right now you can check out my knee popping images here.
If all my shoots were as straight forward as this, I probably wouldn’t be so existential. Just saying.
Thats actually all for this. As far as my comic is concerned I need to do better. Legit need to do better. I haven’t progressed as far as I would want since I restarted coloring mid January.
Jano how many pages have you colored?
6. 6 fucking pages. I’m so disappointed in myself. I blame my job, I do. I’m exhausted as fuck when I get off and have a weird sleep pattern because of it. If this cotton field shut down right now, I would legit be excited because I could color to my souls content.
I just want to see comic turned animated on Netflix and Hulu, fuck these jobs that do nothing for me and my soul. Any witches reading this please feel free to help. It’ll be a nice bday gift for me this month. That and Spiderman for PS4, just saying.
Anyway, I’m going to play X-men Vs Street Fighter since I finally got it to work.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
DAMN!
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
But.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
*Deep Breath*
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Rates?
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
FUCK.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
…..
Well…
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
UGH.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
*deep breath.
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.
Yo, I’m tired as shit. Like Really, like really fucking really. I legit haven’t felt like typing anything significant all month, tweets and facebook status don’t count.
But Jano why?
Because after four months of not working I finally started working again and my body hasn’t adjusted yet.
Wait you wasn’t working?
Yea that was a thing (again) this summer. And once I started working 4 weeks ago, I literally had the most random work and sleep schedule. The only thing I felt like doing was bathing my senses in streaming media, in particular Adventure Time, DareDevil Season 3, Seven Deadly Sins, and now Castlevania. And now here it is Halloween. Holy Fuck. Sucks my costume won’t get here until after Halloween, but my scouter arrived tho Fuckery. Blargh it all.
Anyway.
Fuck, I literally just woke up and I am trying to remember how to use words. Especially since I haven’t typed anything significant in a while. Blargh. This may legit be a short issue since I have to be up in a few hours for the new cotton field I shuck and jive for. Real shit, I kinda miss being unemployed and doing art. Awww tender moments.
Oh yea the next quest in my art journey.
So I had done one part of the photoshoot that was inspired by The Craft, but there was still another part I wanted to do. A goth girl on UNCC’s campus.
I went back to craigslist to find another model.
But Jano why didn’t you ask the model who you shot in the graveyard?
Honestly, I don’t know. Working with her was fun but just decided to find another one.
*shrugs*
There may be a more legit reason, but like I said I just woke up and probably can’t remember at this moment.
So back to a barrage of replies via Craigslist. The few people that replied I was like nah ma’am y’all ain’t it. Until one Thursday night when I was at my friends house after doing a drawing session for my comic I got an email. Bingo we had a winner.Top grade aesthetic. We agreed to shoot on the upcoming Sunday.
Legit just remembered this is actually a short story, although considering how long it took me to get to this point is what make it feels long as hell.
That Sunday arrived and she asked if we could shoot earlier than we originally agreed on, which was kool. I went to go pick her up and we headed to UNCC’s campus.
Spoiler Alert, UNCC’s campus is big as fuck. It is. Especially considered to UNCG’s. The first time I ever walked on that campus, I legit got lost trying to find my car after arriving too late for a B.O.B concert in 2010. I would walk it at times for no real reason years after and realize this place has a lot of photo potential.
We arrive on campus and she told me doesn’t have a lot of model experience, which is fine because I’m still trying to gain experience directing models. I probably would have a lot more if people didn’t ghost on me all the fucking time, yet still like my social media post. OOPS there goes that shade covered sodium chloride.
The shoot went fine though. I have everything pre visualized before I shoot someone, and whatever I forgot gets replaced by a random idea. Balance in the name of Thanos. *Finger Snap. We talked about ideas that would be fun to do as we traversed that huge sun beat campus. I dropped her off and that was that.
Yea, this is a short story after all. Fuck it. I’ll give you a verbal preview of next issue.
Jano continues his art journey with a new concept. He purchases props for the concept once he finds a model who is down for the idea but he never hears from her again as she continues to post online. Will Jano find a new model? Or will she reply to help him out?
If reading that made you go damn nigga and aroused your curiosity, then you’ll wanna read the next issue. Until then check out the images from this quest here.
Anyway, I’m over using words right now. Plus I have to be up in 4 hours for cotton field duties. Happy Halloween. Maybe next year I will get to be my favorite Saiyan Prince.
Yo On God my nigga, I hate summer rain forecast. How am I supposed to accurately plot out my life if it says it is going to rain, but yet it is as dry as all the old cum in my belly button. Now Summer Rain By Carl Thomas is playing in my head, great because I don’t have enough over emotional ass songs playing in my head.
Anyway.
Remember when I said I did 3 photoshoots last April, well this is the final one. AWWW the simple times of picking a location, asking someone to model for you, then shooting them on a set date. MAN, what a time to be alive.
But Jano what do you mean?
You’ll see in upcoming issues. Holy Fuck you will see.
Anyway.
Back in the cunt bag year of 2016 in August when I was unemployed and foolishly trying to get a stable job as a web designer.
I went to a crash course coding networking event for the now defunct as fuck Iron Yard. It was in Uptown/ Downtown Charlotte in this building called Packard Place.While I was waiting for this event aka waste of my time to start, I stared out the window and saw Romare Bearden Park. I started thinking it would be fun to do a shoot there.
Fast Forward to March 2017.
Two of my friends from college decided to visit me. At some point when they were having a conversation which I could contribute nothing to, so I started scrolling on Instagram.
Jano, that is so rude.
Fuck off, ya’ll do it too.
Anyway, I was scrolling and saw a photo from one of my former slave coworkers from the plantation, IKEA. At some point I decided to ask if she would model for me, she said yea, and I internally while externally went YAAAAS.
I promise ON GOD, ON GOD MY NIGGA, this is the last time that a model search will be this fucking easy for me. I legit just face palmed.
Anyway.
Even though me and her worked together at that cunt customer cotton field for 3 years, I legit didn’t know anything about her or fashion sense. Real shit majority of the time I saw her I talked shit to her. But not hardcore shit that would make someone do a Hannah Baker, but like soft core shit that you could put on a ice cream cone and serve up with a smile.
I just threw up in my mouth a little with that analogy.
We met up so I could browse her closet and we picked an outfit each, picked a date, and caught up about life after. The next day I went to downtown to plan a route for how I wanted this shoot to go. Because ya know its important to storyboard mentally how you want events to go that you are planning. At least in my world.
Alicia Keys so simple is so playing in my head right now.
The day came and I was one of the few who realized that drinking and driving isn’t a good thing and spent the night at a friends house after a bday party. Safety First. Fast Forward through slow service at Midnight Diner, Goodbyes, college buddy group photos, and me going home to showering (because ya know hygiene is key), it was shoot time.
She had never modeled before and I was like girl you’ll be fine.
And she was, Legitly.
She had a lot of excitement and I didn’t regret my choice. She channeled her Americas Next Top Model as she got comfortable being in front of the camera. I almost felt bad for all the soft serve shit I gave her in the cotton field. Almost.
Everything for the next few hours were Kool….. except when my nuts met a guard rail. HOLY FUCK OF FUCKING FUCKED CUNTS, FUCKING JOB HAZARDS. She told me to shhh my yelling because a child was near by. NIGGA FUCK THAT CHILD!!. My tender freshly clean nuts just got more tenderized by this fucking metal guard rail. NIGGA!!!!
Spoiler Alert, if we do a shoot and I get hurt in an extreme way I will yell. No fucks shall be given about the opinions and ear drums of the surrounding people. None, no such fucks shall exist.
Anyway to see the by product of this blissfully planned day go here.
In case ya’ll have been wondering why I keep emphasizing how easy things went is because the next four photoshoots I talk about were arduous as when Vegeta was trying to become a Super Saiyan. Didn’t get that anime reference? Fine, it was like trying to avoid spoilers on the internet when you haven’t seen an episode or movie yet. Actually I rather try to avoid spoilers then deal with the fuckery I dealt with last summer.
Ironically enough despite planning it is happening again this year.
Spoiler Alert, the next few issues will be full of shade, sarcasm and salt. So much Salt that you would think I was gonna put Mortons Salt out of business.
The moment you realize that your Art Journey is similar to a Role Playing Game.
Dear Friends of Jano,