In the deep bowels of my spirit I think November went by entirely too fucking fast. It did. There is no reason for it to be 1 week before thanksgiving when this month just fraggin started.
As if.
At least the academic rape like sessions akin to my UNCG undergrad years of October are over. Sadly so is Fairy Tail, I just finished it last night. Kinda sad…BUT apparently a new season is coming next year. YEET.
And Bleach is coming back. BIG FUCKING YEET.
Enough of my usual pre flashback tangent. Time for another Tale of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure *cue music.
This issue begins back in 1998 on Planet Namek.
Nigga what the fuck??
Don’t worry there are time leaps. Anyway as I was saying it was Spring 1998. Goku just landed on Namek, defeated Recoome, and Vegeta dropped the term for the first time in an English dub. The world waited for what seems like an eternity (especially when you are 14) for the next episode of DBZ when Goku fought Burter and Jeice of the Ginyu Force. In summer 1999, VHS tapes of the last part of the Freeza saga started to be released. And my geek ass def start buying them as soon as they dropped. $24.00 per fucking tape with 3-4 episodes.
Man those purchases aged badly when said out loud.
Fall 1999 came. I was a sophomore in high school and i was approached by someone walking to the bus I legit never knew in life. He asked if i was ______, and i was like yea. He had heard I had the new season of DBZ tapes and i said yea.
Side note, life was so fucking simple then. Holy fucking fuck.
Anyway we formed a friendship founded in anime, and have still been friends since the tender age of 14.
AWWWWW tender moments.
Fast forward to Spring 2021.
He had hit me up one day as I was leaving the slave pit Jeff Bezos slave pit. He asked me could I do headshots of his girlfriend. I told him yea I actually have a light set which I have never used.
Wait what?
Yep, I got Christmas money for it in 2016 but I never had an opportunity to use it at all. I practiced on one of my friends kinda in 2017, but it wasn’t that deep.
We made a plans for the following Sunday, so that weekend i decided this may be a good time to practice since it is actually going to be used for an actual client.
Blessed be youtube. On Kami.
Sunday came, and i went to his place after I left the slave pit, changed and got my equipment.
Him and I chatted as I prepared everything. Practice makes perfect kids. Legit didn’t struggle as much this time settling up as the first time I did. I took test shots with my lights in various ways to minimize the harshness of the shadow being casted. Eventually his girlfriend came out and we started.
She was nervous at first. I told her to relax as best she can because it will show on her face and its not flattering.
It didn’t take long for her to relax and get comfortable. I encouraged to play some music and envision yourself as someone you admire. Sometimes I actually am inspirational when I’m not talking shit.
Spoiler Alert.
And that was it. The shoot lasted for an hour, despite that i took a plethora of photos as usual. When I was editing I realized I need to buy a damn tripod because there was no reason for some of those images to be blurry.
None, no such fuckin reason existed.
Hey Google, Play Joe Public live and learn.
As i said the issues that are drama free are the ones when its a client. The one’s where i am chasing an artistic vision my ancestors inserted in my head, MaAAAAAAN its like an anime arc or a final battle rpg fight.
Sephirtoth level shit…which I still need to beat.
FUCK….FUCK.
The rest of the time i was there we all hung out, he showed me the Snyder cut of Justice league. Which …i just remembered I need to finish that. I meant to but, yea life said fuck your summer plans nigga. fuck your plans nigga. *Dave Chappele Rick James fuck your couch voice.
At any rate to see my LinkedIn level images i snapped click here.
Next month is another client so it isn’t complicated. Avril Lavinge would be proud.
Anyone catch that? no? ok fuck yall.
I’m going try to relax without passing out…if that is a thing.
Moral of story, friendships formed in anime lead to opportunities that help your dreams…or some shit.
First off, let us talk about something. I legit have never feared for a group of Anime Protagonist the way I do for the Straw Hat pirates as the assassination attempt on Big Mom has failed MISERABLY.
Holy fucking fuck.
Not even Team Toguro had me this shook. The next 50 episodes will be interesting…as fuck.
Anyway. How goes it? Was your October as exhausting as mine? When I was at UNCG I had periods in my semesters were it was just periods of Academic rape for at least a month.
On Kami October 2021 felt like an retro 2000 academic rape session.
OMG Jano, did you just say Academic Rape? You’re canceled.
Eh, ok. Spoiler Alert, I coined that phrase between 2002-2009. I just haven’t had a reason to say since graduating it in 2009….until now.
At any rate, if September was emotionally exhausting then October was just fucking taxing in the sense of having too much to fucking do. It has been the culmination of events I started back in March of this year.
Er before all the car dilemmas that plagued my spirit and my wallet.
Let me explain.
At some point in Jeff Bezo’s slave pit I thought maybe I should heed the psychics advice in December of starting my own business. It has something that has teetered in my head for random parts of the last decade, but i never fully pursued it. But when a psychic who is speaking with your ancestors tells you that you will be successful at something you have been too timid to do, you say fuck it and fuck it raw with big black mega meat. BOOM BOOM.
I met with my non profit boss and thus the laying of a foundation began. We discussed products, vendors, and all that other businessy stuff. Transitioning my brain from coloring to mathematical shit is a transition, especially all your jobs have been basic slave nigga shit. A week later while at an art show, i drafted up some designs for keychains and pins. The goal was to keep it as simple as possible since i’m literally still working on a comic series. I had to figure out I was going to make said keychains and pins, yeet to the gawdz for youtube.
YEET.
Shortly after I found out from a friend where I could get stickers made. And a friend who I made via my girlfriend helped me get some shirts. At this point I think we are in May when I wasn’t driving my car because the stalling and starting was taking its toll and was a safety issue.
Spoiler Alert, the creation of these products probably was as complicated as my mermaid and candy queen shoots. As the late great DMX Said “I wish it was a lie, but everything I said meant it.”
June came and I finally was able to get some of the supplies I need, but of course there were complications. Complications in the sense of ink cartridges disappearing and reappearing (no really, like really fucking really), and buying the fucking wrong type of shrink paper. Fun. Things hit a halt until July when I had money to spare to buy the things I need. But didn’t really get going again til September a few weeks later after starting this new cottonfield after coming back from New York City.
*deep breath*
Ya’ll, I’m tired just from explaining all this.
I bought my stickers, had to do trial and error with the shrink paper, and various other supplies i needed. I finally got the tshirt press machine from a friend I use to pick cotton with, the goal was to get the machine in the spring but her and I were both having issues in our life. Even making the shirts were a problem.
YO I PROMISE ALL THESE RETROGRADES CHOSE VIOLENCE AGAINST ME, MY SPIRIT AND MY PEACE!!!! THE ENEMY DID NOT WANT ME TO SUCCEED!! ON KAMI!!!!
I just heard a church organ play in my head. SMH.
But here i am with all my products ready finally. I told my non profit college friend boss that I wanted to have my store up and running either before the art show I had last week, or the QC city zine fest I will be this saturday. I didn’t have it up last week, but now it is finally up and running.
Oh, yea I had an art show last Saturday. I was going to make a whole other issue regarding it and the pieces I make for said shows, but since you are here now. I have a gallery for you to check out. Go ahead and take a look then come back when you are done.
Did you check it out? You did and you came back? Yeet.
Even though my store wasn’t ready, i did take some merchandise to be sold in the forms of prints and stickers.
YA’LL PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOUGHT MY SHIT!!!!
It all happened so fast, literally. Within 20 mins of each other I made four sales. I was so floored.
Am I one step closer to becoming a pretty art idol like i want? EXTOL ME MEAT SACK HOES!!!
Excuse me my Vegeta level Narcissism was flaring up again. Pardon me humans.
But in short my store is finally up, and at the moment i don’t think I need to buy anything else…right now. Side note, I got my table banner for art shows. I looked at it and I feel like a One Piece pirate.
Def part of the Worst Generation.
Anyway. Without any more delays or awkward side rants I present to you
I plan on adding more items as time goes on, but right now this is my starting point. And as I have told you I still want to finish my comic series, so please be patient. I’ll make announcements as usual if I had anything new. I’m still navigating through this business owner space. As I navigate remember to sign up for updates on my site.
Also if you reside in Charlotte, like zines, comics and other printed materials. Come to the Queen City Zine Fest to check out me selling copies of my comic series.
Real shit, if you were to tell me my awkward shy ass I would be doing shows, with colored hair, looking kooler than usual to promote my book to get an idol fanbase I wouldn’t have believed you.
First and fucking foremost, I am legit upset that I didn’t get superpowers from this spider bite on my leg. The only thing I got is 1. immense fragging pain 2. probably a huge bill for going to the Emergency Room for the first time in years, and 3. I didn’t get to wear my Vegeta costume that I ordered for Halloween last year, but didn’t arrive until after aforementioned Holiday because I was passed out in pain. NO NIGGA WE AIN’T YEETING HERE.
Maybe later in this issue but at this current point, nope this is a yeet free zone.
Anyway.
So for those who have not been paying attention on any of my social media channels and never clicked on my about me page. The picture above is of me, and I just did my first art show. I know right I am a pretty dude, and thank youuuuuu.
The lead up to this was legit unexpected but deeply appreciated it.
Side note, to avoid the excessive use of pronouns I will be referring to some people by their IG names.
So September day whilst I was picking cotton, well making sure the cotton was up to par before it got sent out to random cunts who I’ll probably never meet. One of the field slaves I shuck and jive with, PurpleKloudz, randomly started talking, ya know about anime, art, dreams to be chased and nigga shit. He was telling me how one of his goals was to be in an art show before the year is over, I was like yooooo go ahead and follow your dreams. As the convo went on,I found out it was an anime and art show that he was going to be in.
Hold up, I like anime and I’m an artist. The voices of my ancestors told me I needed to be part of this. Spoiler Alert, When the voices of your ancestors speak you listen, always.
I asked him for more details and how I could be a part of it, he said he would talk to our other slave we shuck and jive with for the scraps master give us, JohnnyLovely.
Look I get it, I am laying it on thick with the slave cotton field references, but I legit work in a plantation that contains majority cotton so I am allowed to say these things. Hella allowed, especially since this is my damn site.
Anyway.
So at some point after a day of picking cotton, me and both of the aforementioned fellow slaves had a nerd gathering in the parking lot. Thats where it went down. YEET YEET.
JohnnyLovely told me about how this is the second anime and art show that his friend was having. I asked could I show any of my pieces, and he was like ummmm idk. Fuck it, I’ll try anyway and I did. He gave me the information of the person who was orchestrating the event. I sent him the links to all of my galleries, ALL of my galleries. Need a reminder, no problem. Starting from oldest to the most recent we have Miasmic Emancipation, Velvet Sweaters,Numinously Noir, Emerald Evisceration and oh yeah my house party invites just for good measure.
And he said I was in. YEET YEET NIGGA. Actually Yeet didn’t really do justice for how excited I was, especially when you hear people saying you shouldn’t draw the things you draw. Well fuck you naysayers, especially those I am genetically linked to.
The next step was to choose which images I wanted to display. Eventually I chose the 3 below.
Yep that last one was def chosen. Not gonna lie the process was hard. When it was all said and done,I hit up one of my friends I use to pick cotton with at another field a few years ago. I asked him would he mind printing out my images for the show, and he said sure. It was going good but due to the amount of colors I use in my drawings, I kinda killed his blue printhead. Yea, I wasn’t expecting that. So for images 2 and 3, I had to go to Office Max to get those printed out. Pretty sure they were confused and concerned about what I had them make.
As if I give a fuck, Spoiler Alert I don’t.
I got my frames and bam, I was all set.Since I finally got my images printed and frame I could actually start posting ads for it on social media. The last thing I wanted to do was post I was going to be in an art show and not have my stuff ready. The day before I met with the organizer of the show, and briefly dropped off the above pieces along with some small ones I had made when I did the pop art show in 2017. I got home, did my hair because my hair was an arid dry mess, and passed the fuck out.
The day of the show came, and I wish I requested off. I was excited, legit excited as fuck. Me and my girl left the cotton field, grabbed food from Chick Fil A, and went back to my place. I changed first then she did. Joy is when you get to wear a shirt you ordered a month ago for the first time at a kool event that you are in.While she did I meditated, because sometimes you got to do that before something major in your life is about to happen. On the way there I legit was trying to find a song to amp me, this is the bad thing about primary listening to somber music. I did find some pleasure in Rapsody’s Nina and Cleo and J.Cole’s Middle Child. In hindsight I wish I remembered Awerooh’s- Its My turn now, that was my shit, 3 years ago when I was developing my website.
Eh, maybe next time.
We got to Camp North End, did a brief photoshoot before we headed to the event. Yo, real shit I am legit awkward in front of a camera, I am. Yea I take selfies but full body poses aren’t a thing I’m use to doing, even though I tell others what to do when I am behind the lens. The event didn’t start until 7, but I wanted to be there to see the set up process and place flyers for my site, and a copy of my book series for people to view.
The night flew by after that honestly. Lush Lofi flowed in the background,feeling as if I was in an episode of Samurai Champloo. Her and I walked around for a while at some point we saw our fellow slaves who were also having their art exhibited, the one’s told me about the show. As the night went on, I was both the subject and the usual detached observer while I took photos of the event. Its a weird feeling since I am never am the subject of an event.
I promise sometimes I feel like I am the unborn child of Samantha White and Lionel Higgins from Dear White People.
Our other slave friends showed up, and we were all like AWWW SHIT NIGGA. She helped get people to look at book, Yaaaaaaas honey Yaaaaaaas. In case anyone hasn’t noticed I’m shy as shit, so her amping me up defiantly helped my spirit. My friend who printed one of my images came with his wife and daughter, and at some point the 5 of us walked around. Eventually we doubled back to the event and they head out.
Another slave showed up, who I met in an odd way. Well not really odd considered the digital word we live in. We work at the same place, but our first interaction was when she liked a post I did of me starting a book on AfroFuturism by YTasha L. Womack.
I still need to finish that book.
At the time I didn’t know who she was, until one day at work I was stopped and she was like I think I liked your post. Oh shit, wasn’t ready. The convo couldn’t last long because if masta see’s us lil field niggas not picking his cotton we gets in bigs trouble, and we don’t wants no trouble.
But Jano, how is this relevant to the story?
I’m about to get to that, impatient ass.
She showed up with her daughter, and she was thoroughly impressed with the pieces that me and our fellow field slaves had to put up. From the perspective that we had worked hard to create something, and going to the extra effort of making our work being seen to the public something that some people hesitate to do. The fact that the artist space was primarily created by and for black artist thrilled her more. Thrilled her to the point that she felt inspired to do something similar and create an AfroFuturism con here in Charlotte.
Now you get the relevance.
Oh shit, that would be awesome. I’ve been hoping to do shows especially black themed sci fi art shows, it would be an added bonus if there was one here in Charlotte. Hopefully this will manifest into something flourishes, heavily.
The night trickled on, at some point there was a group photo taken of me and the other artist. Still awkward as hell for me to pose, so fucking awkward. After that me and some of the people I pick cotton with went on to go play Cards Against Humanity. I bounced back to the event to get my prints, at some point the dude who organized all this said there would be another one in March. Nigga I’m so down.
And thats it. I was talking with JohnnyLovely a few times before the day of the show. At some point he said a black art renaissance is heading towards Charlotte, and after this I can see it happening. Another conversation, I made reference to Dear White People, how after the Black Face Party there were a series of events that occurred after and it affected everyone differently. My ancestors say that both of our feelings are accurate. Was this event an adequate save point and it will propel me into another direction that will benefit me greatly or will I stagnate and float on in a void of despair?
Spoiler Alert, either result will be chronicled here as usual.
Hopefully this clearing will lead to an oasis that splinters many paths of abundance. In the meantime to see photos from the even go here.
Pretty sure this was a big save point in my art journey. Speaking of save points I’m gonna resume from the one in Final Fantasy 7 and hopefully beat it before the year is over. Also next issue we will go back to the regular flowing timeline. This was an omg I need to talk about it now so my spirit can go back to chill mode, and I have.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
DAMN!
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
But.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
*Deep Breath*
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Rates?
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
FUCK.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
…..
Well…
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
UGH.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
*deep breath.
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.
