I feel like this is a new concept to me again since I didn’t do this for the bulk of the tragic year of 2020…..which has spilled over to 2021. Spoiler Alert, it looks like coronavirus is gonna be sticking around for a while. UGH.
So bothersome, all of it.
Almost as much as me fucking up my back AGAIN at Cotton field 6.5. So here I lay typing another issues of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure with a sharp pain in my side. I can’t Yeet to this shit, I can’t.
This issue is actually less problematic and dramatic than the bulk of the issues I’ve written. On Kami.
*Hits Rewind button.
It was the trying times of 20 fucking 20. Coronavirus was running rampant, much like racism. The only difference is Corona don’t give a fuck your skin complexion nor beliefs. All it wanted was to fuck your life up and stop you from living your best life.
Side note, I’m really trying to speak in past tense, but the shit is still happening. Ugh as if.
Corona is the true definition of cancel culture, because that is exactly what the fuck it did. Concerts, cons, gatherings, school, jobs, fun functions, etc.
Graduations are included in the etc, in case you didn’t realize.
If I was graduating last year I would have been upset more so by this. Imagine your senior year finally arrives and all the things you had been excited about for the past 3 years because halted for safety concerns. Even though I legit didn’t care about any of that 19 years ago, I can empathize for those whose adolescent hearts desires were ripped a sunder.
Tragic.
Thats it for the preface for anyone new to life or for anyone who reads this from a decade from now.
As I mentioned last issue, my ancestors told me not to go back to the cotton field when it was mandated that we return since the stay at home order was no longer in effect. However, my girlfriend stayed and at some point she told me that a coworker wanted to pay for a cap and gown graduation shoot.
Sure, I’ll do it.
Her and I made contact with each other and made arrangements to do the shoot. We chose Freedom Park on a Friday after. A hot, blazing, torch filled afternoon in June.
FUCK. *Witchers voice.
She arrived with her mother, who I haven’t seen since ummmmmm March. We chatted for a little bit and then her and her daughter started to traverse in the park. At first she seemed nervous but as time went on she got comfortable. She was hesitant to smile hard for some reason, I told her that she is allowed to smile as hard as she wants and not to think about how anyone would perceive her.
Translation, fuck what people think.
Side note, I literally was the only who was sweating like a slave in the fields. How she wasn’t in a cap and gown is beyond me.
Nigger heat is real bro. Real and fucking oppressive as fuck. SHIT.
We were out there for at least an hour, I think. We made our way back to the parking lot where her mother paid me and we said our goodbyes.
And thats it.
Told ya this wasn’t a dramatic issue, at all. Honestly the most dramatic part of the whole day was after the shoot. I was going to give photography lessons to a friend who helped me out with a shoot at the same park. While I was waiting for her to arrive I sat on a bench under a web of trees the song Strange Fruit By Billie Holiday was playing in my head.
But Jano why?
Because at some point last summer, random black bodies were found hanging from trees.
Yea. Class can you say Jano was Shook? Because I fucking was.
ON KAMI.
FUCK.
Chills went through my body as I think about it.
FUCK MAN.
Anyway to see the image from that blazeful, blistering, sweaty day click here.
Thats it for me. I dead ass have an urger to BattleToads and Double Dragon on Sega Genesis right now. Which I think I’m gonna do. I’m pretty sure I won’t get far, but whatever.
Side note, I have 3 episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation left and I’m kinda sad about it. Yea there is still the movies that relate to that saga but still, my childhood man.
Here we are the last issue of the year, well last planned issue of the year. Unless something interesting happens….yea this is the last issue of the year. Usually I would start off with some random blurbs about the current circumstances of my life, but this issue is lengthy as fuck.
Jano how long?
Think RPG playtime, final anime boss battle long.
DAMN!
Yea, trust me living it felt a lot longer. OMG it felt like waiting for Planet Namek to explode.
In April of 2017 I thought it be kool to do a shoot about a mermaid. I don’t know if it was because of the internet or the voice of my ancestors, but that idea was planted in my head and damn it stuck. Oh how it stuck. It stuck like a super chain of STDs a serial rapist got for violating the personal space of others who had their own STDS..
As usual I went to Craigslist to sweep through the various communities in hopes to find one that can possibly bring my idea to life. But this time I had another problem to figure out. So in case you haven’t been paying attention I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And for those who weren’t paying attention in elementary school social studies, it lies within the Piedmont region. Which, spoiler alert, means that there isn’t any coastlines or beaches near me. At best there are lakes and rivers, but that is about it.
So not only did I have to find a model, I had to figure where the fuck I was going to do this shoot at. I made an ad for help on that and color me shocked that it didn’t take that long. This dude replied and said that he would be willing to help me out and let me shoot it at as his fathers house. His father resides in South Carolina for some reason and he was house sitting for him. He sent me a picture of the area and I went YES LAAAAAWD * Anderson Paak voice. He wanted to meet first, which makes sense. I let him know at some point that I was black male, cuz we all know sometimes being black comes at ya fast even when you are doing ordinary things such as living.
Real Shit, I was nervous as fuck about this.
But Jano, haven’t you met people off the internet before?
Duh, but never has it been an elder white guy who was going to use his parents house to let me do a photo shoot to fulfill my art dreams. Even typing that now it sounds odd. Fuck, shits crazy.
Despite that we set a date to meet one May morning. The things we do for our dreams.I drove over to his house, with a box cutter in my bag and my home girl informed of my location just in case shit got weird, well weirder. Dude was odd, kool, but odd. The scariest moment of the whole conversation was when he told me how he got rid of stray cats that roamed into his yard. My niggas eyes were so lifeless when he talked of their disposal.
At some point we went to his dad’s house and OMG, the picture he had sent me didn’t do it justice. I fell more in love with the photographic potential more so. OMG. However, there was only problem with this whole scenario. Due to the nature of this dudes job of being an organ delivery driver, if he got called to do a delivery that shoot would have have to be postponed for another time since he wanted to be there on the property. That nagging factor bothered me. I told him I would be back in contact with him once I solidified a model and a time, which was true at the time. But you know life it is a fickle cunt. The girls who had shown interest prior to the meeting went full ghost when I reached back out to them. BLARGH.
But.
Before we go back to the model hunt, lets get these other details out the way. First off the location, since back up plans are a necessary thing. The place creepy cat killer had showed me was near Latta Plantation Park. Yes, the place I mentioned several issues ago. On a whim I decided to walk the path less traveled, Literally. When I was there before I had never walked any of the trails, so I figured might as well.
Yay for whims.
The environment was so Shway for the narrative I wanted to present. At the end of the trial there was a peninsula that had a nice view of the lake and barely any traces of humanity. Side note when I was surveying the area, there were people Jet skiing, I was so hoping one of them would drown and die. Anyway. Safe to say this was my location, I legit never contacted that creepy cat guy again. He has a name, but honestly at this point it doesn’t matter.
As the search for a non fickle model continued, I had to craft some props for this shoot. Timeline wise, we are in mid June at this point. I legit have never crafted shit in my life, aside from art projects in school I never had to. But you are surprised what you learn to do when there is an aesthetic you have in mind. Shout out to Youtube and Pintrest teaching how to use my hands in more magical ways. The goal one Friday June night was to make a mermaid bra and crown. Hobby Lobby and Walmart is where I got most of my supplies, in particular seashells, pipe cleaner, ribbon, and hot glue gun, There was a tiara I needed, which I promise you I have seen a million times before this day BUT the day I actually was going to buy it. Nope couldn’t be found at all. I legit bounced from several different stores to find a fucking tiara. Blessed be Super Target for having it and a bag of jewels. As for the tail, one of my home girls was a mermaid for the last halloween. She said I could borrow her dress, she didn’t have the exact dress but had one similar that I can make it look mermaid tail esque.
Now for the models. Side note, shout out to it being a snow day because real shit this is a lot to navigate through my memories. If I had picked cotton today this wouldn’t be getting done.
Anyway, the model search. Because that is the one thing that is missing from this whole fucking saga.
Spoiler alert; the upcoming contains fuckery, confusion, betrayal and more fuckery than should be encountered.
*Deep Breath*
At this point we are still in June, the girls who had expressed interest were no longer replying and others were replying who honestly I didn’t like their face or vibe. I told ya’ll I’m picky, no apologies.
I was following one girl on IG, and decided to DM her to see if she was down for the concept. And she was….kinda.
When I reached out again to see if she was available for the next week, she had informed me that she got signed to a modeling agency. Congrats I told her and the convo ended there oddly. I hit her back a week later to see if she was free the following w.end, she asked if her manager had informed me of her rates.
Rates?
Bitch a few weeks ago you were so down for the TFP. Now you done got brand new and talking about some rates? The fuck you mean rates? Look I respect the craft, but I can’t afford the craft. Especially when I am working erratic seasonal project jobs with end dates after not working for a year and 4 months. Maybe when I am full level up adult with a stable job, but right now I am relying on the kindness of strangers who with mutual interest to help me make my art dreams come true. I told her I’ll have to pass because of the whole job situation. A legit reason because I was laid off again mid July and didn’t work again until September.
FUCK.
This shit is aggravating. Even recounting this arc is aggravating. I wanna drink some Jano Juice to soothe my spirit. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway
So there was another girl who replied to one of my witch photoshoot ads. I never replied to her about that because obviously I found someone who matched what I wanted more so. But this girl had a mermaid tattoo, so I thought to ask her. MAAAAAAN I shouldn’t have. She had asked how much was she going to paid.
Bitch hold up. In the ads I am very upfront about the only compensation will be copies of the final images. I was so clear about that, so fucking clear. There legit is no room for interpretation. At all. Aside from that maybe you should not reply with ads with dirty bathroom selfies. you pasty posh cunt face.
Ok I’m done for now.
At this point it is July and I’m aggravated, so fucking aggravated. I placed a final ad on Craigslist and I won’t lie I aired out all my grievances. In particulate don’t waste my time with this, if you aren’t serious about this please don’t waste my time and please read all of the ad before asking me stupid fucking questions.
Of course someone replied….
Spoiler Alert; this is the climax of the story. Oh so much climax. That sentence probably does not make sense but fuck it.
Her name was Marlene, and she wanted to know more about the project. I told her and at some point she shared how she always felt she has been a mermaid all of her life. Who the fuck am I to argue that you felt like a mythical creature? If thats what you feel when you wake up, feel it. In my mind it will translate great in the images. Fuck Big Dick Energy, You got that mermaid energy. She inquired about a tail and since it actually seemed like I finally had a model for this fucking project, I figured I actually extend the effort to make it. I hit up my home girl who helped me with Demented Rose and Scarlet Tracks since she is big into cosplay and crafting. I was hoping she had a quick way to make a tail since every way I saw was complicated as fuck. Her answer was to buy one, and I was like nah. I’m legit not spending over 100 on fucking mermaid tail, in case you guys haven’t been paying attention I’ve been dealing with some fickle ass cunts. And I didn’t wanna be stuck with a tail for a model who went ghost on me.
So my homegirl decided to help me out, she said would be willing to help me out. She had recently brought one and would be willing to let this girl use her tail if they were the same size to help me achieve my dreams.
Ya’ll I felt like a person in that one moment. Kinda how in How The Grinch Stole Christmas when his heart grew 3 sizes bigger for some sentimental reason which I can’t exactly remember. She was Cindy Lou Hoo and I was the Grinch who was essentially at the spiritual place of fuck this.
Spoiler Alert,I have a legit complex in case you couldn’t tell.
Emotional Moment Over.
Ironically enough new girl and my friend both wear the same size. The next thing we had to do was see if the bra and crown I made fit. The crown did, but the bra that was something else. SO I let her borrow some of my supplies that I brought to make a bra, we had set a date, I told my friend and we were all in agreement.
…..
Well…
August came as well the week of the shoot, and I messaged new girl asking are we still down for the weekend and was the bra done. She told me that she had been busy with work and school.
Ok here is the thing, I checked UNCC’s school calendar. School hadn’t started yet, it wasn’t going to start until a week later. But I assumed she meant getting ready for school. Man when your ancestors tell you fuckery is afoot, you listen to your ancestors. Thursday came and I asked was she still down for the shoot, and she replied saying that wouldn’t be.
UGH.
So I had to tell my homegirl lives in Raleigh, who took off from work not to come down. She wasn’t happy about it. I can’t blame her, I would be pissed off too. So the next day since my shoot wasn’t happening, I decided to go scout Midtown Park for a future photoshoot I wanna do at some point. I get home and check my snapchat…..this bitch is driving to Baltimore, Maryland.
WHORE!!! I COULD KILL YOU!!!!!! NOT ONLY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME!!!! YOU WASTED MY FRIENDS TIME WHO WAS WILLING TO ME OUT!!!!. I SHOULD CUT YOUR BOULDER SIZE BREAST OFF AND THROW THEM AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FILTHY SNOBBISH CUNT!!!!!!!
*deep breath.
I was so god damn mad.I wanted no still want to set her apartment on fire and hope someone beats her head with a brick as she tries to escape.
I apologize to my friend, for the fact that her time was wasted and this snobbish bitch wasn’t as professional as she seemed. I asked her would she be my mermaid to help me out, she texted me after I got the email saying she would do anything to help me out. Legit felt joy and felt like I mattered to someone. I have never heard those words uttered to me before, at all. And still haven’t since then.
There goes that trash complex again.
Me and her picked a date, and at some point she came down. The first time I had seen her in a year, awwww tender moments. Problem was she forgot the bra, so we had to wait another week to do the shoot. She apologized but it was kool, at this point one more week wasn’t going to hurt all things considered. She came back down a week later, she wanted to stop by Hobby Lobby and got some supplies.
This was it and it was finally happening. 4 months later it was finally happening. Ya’ll have no idea how arduous the past 4 months had been.You legit don’t. At this point we are the on the first weekend of September. I just got a new job, the sun is starting to set earlier and the wind has gotten a chill in it that hasn’t been felt in months. Luckily the area I want to shoot my friend is pretty vacant, as in there is no one there to obstruct the background. People are legit the worse.
The narrative I had in mind was ironically similar to The Little Mermaid, Mermaid washes on shore and explores the new world.I say ironic because I never saw The Little Mermaid. Well I saw it in Spanish in 11th grade, so that doesn’t really count. She switched between her tail and the dress of my friend. At some point that fall chill became a thing and she got cold, so I tried to wrap it up as soon as I can. Defiantly didn’t want her to catch a cold because of me, my conscious can’t deal with that. When it was all said and done we went to get something to eat and watched youtube videos, as my body remembered I need to stretch before I do these shoots that involve me acting like Nightcrawler. Acrobatic as fuck even though I ain’t been to the gym in years.
But wait, before we show the pictures from this saga. We need to finish the arc first.
But Jano, what do you mean….oh that Siren faced no ass bastard.
Well, at some point she called me a week after we were supposed to shoot. But yo wtf do we have to talk about? Honestly I am not a confrontational person, I’m pretty chill until you piss me off. Waisting me and my friends time is def a way to piss me off. *Yusuke Urameshi voice. The day after me and my homegirl did our photoshoot, I checked my snapchat and Siren face had posted a video of the shells and a net saying something about mermaid things or something to that effect. A few days later there was a photo she posted about with her mermaid hashtags. Oh nah, I need my shit back. See I only let her borrow those materials to help me out, not to shoot with some other nigga.
I emailed her and we agreed on a time that week…man that meeting was so awkward. Every cell in my usually chill being wanted to take the net off the wall and Lynch her like they lynched black people in the south, but I kept it together. My father has this saying don’t piss on me and tell me it is rain. This bitch legit treated me like R.Kelly did those teenagers in the early 2000s, metaphorically. I’ll be damn if I let a cunt whore piss on em. The lies she told of how she really wanted to do the shoot but was really busy. Bitch you did the shoot, you didn’t do it with me but you did it. Pretty sure you never even thought of doing a mermaid shoot until you saw that Ad on Craigslist.
Moral of Story, Fuck it I don’t know. Infer one for yourself. But if you get a chance to choke a bitch with a net they made that is hanging on the wall, take that opportunity. Life will figure out the rest later.
I told ya’ll this was a long story, if you actually read the whole thing. Congrats your reward is here.
Hell typing this was exhausting as fuck. Shout out to this snow day again because otherwise I would have been too exhausted to recall this fuckery. I felt like I just wrote a paper when I was at UNCG.
In other news that is fuckery free, I finally finished storyboarding my comic Azure Ascendance. Now the only thing left to do is color the remaining issues. YAAAAASSSS got the impending coloring coma.At least I got that done, sadly I didn’t get all the photoshoots done this year that I wanted. Hopefully the last 3 won’t be no where near this difficult as this was, hopefully. MAN, even typing this arc was a headache.
Anyway. thats it folks. The next issue won’t be no where near this heavy and filled with salt. Its actually the last photoshoot I did of 2017, which will be the first issue…of next…..year…..FUCK IT.
1. There isn’t that much to say about why I drew this 2. I gotta pick cotton in a few hours so ya know.
Anyway.
I saw Black Panther this w.end with 2 of my friends and well Wakanda Forever.
I wonder if we would have had a Wakanda if slavery never existed? Fuck Slavery,Colonialism,and greedy racist white people.
Real Shit this movie is equal to Deadpool to me, even though unlike my favorite Merc with a Mouth I had no knowledge of the Wakanda King what so ever. However my favorite character in the movie was Killmonger. I want to model my life after him, maybe if I do I’ll get me some white slaves. Reparations is goals, so is bound through oppression of my oppressors.
But Jano what about your white friends? Would we be slaves too?
Dear White People, if I know you and actually like you, you’ll be in the house with me.If not you better get ready to pick cotton like my ancestors.
Spoiler Alert, I want to wear nice high quality Bill Cosby sweaters so you better pick that good cotton.
Anyway I decided to draw a picture with the King of Wakanda with the Empress Watatsumi of the Posei Kingdom and all of the country of Azure from my story Azure Ascendance. Yay Black Love and Black Excellence.
But Jano what about Storm?
Look I like Storm and the X-Men, I do they are one of my favorite non anime properties. BUT I felt like drawing my character with T’Challa instead. Straight like that.
Anyway thats it.
To see the image check out the new gallery I made on my Behance Page here.. It will be where I put all drawings that are Bonus special occasionish, I’m calling it Bonus DLC, cute right.
Like I said this was gonna be a short issue cuz I have to be up in a few hours.
Spoiler Alert, this is the first thing I have colored in a month. NIGGA THE CATHARSIS I felt while I colored listening to Ella Mai, Sabrina Claudio, and Halsey on Spotify. While thinking that the new season of Atlanta premieres tonight. NIGGA WHAT!!!
Anyway thats it, next issue will be the Mad Monster Party images from a few weeks ago.
Yo Real Shit I wanna pass back out after just waking up a few hours ago, never mind I kinda I have to so I can be in the cotton field in a few hours. Right now the only thing keeping me awake is listening to Hannibal Buress as I type this. Damn it Spotify stop fragging up on me. Why are you like this?
So anyway since it’s the holidays and there was a period between September and November when my posting schedule got fragged cuz of adjustment to slavery and ain’t shit nigga fuckery. I decided to do another issue this month.
Fuck, I’m so fucking tired. Fuck.
Anyway where am I in this journey, oh yeah August 2016. Like I said a few issues ago I had this grand idea of a photo series about those with artistic abilities. Ya know acting, writing, music, etc. Most people had dropped out but luckily one of my friends was still able to do it. One of my boys I met when I was picking cotton.
Yeah, you read that right, picking cotton. Where? Everyone’s favorite plantation, IKEA. That nazi slave camp, but real shit I met some kool people in the process of shucking and jiving. Spoiler Alert, there will always be a strong slave solidarity against snobbish ass white people.
Anyway.
My fellow freed slave is Producer and Beat Maker Justin Nelms, who makes candy for your ears. Nigga when I say your ear drums will cum slowly from hearing his sounds that is not an exaggeration. If you like Nujabes then you will def like his material. Probably because he was born into a family of music. Genetics can be a good thing at time especially when said source material is augmented by dedication to your craft.
The photo session was insanely chill especially since I didn’t end up in pain like I did in the Scarlet Tracks issue. Unfortunately it was cut short because he had a deadline to meet but we def shot some good material within the time span we were allowed. Despite that it was a good shoot and fun to see one of my fellow slaves free and enjoying life.
Some of the photos from said adventure are here. As for my friend check out his website here, his sound is definitely worth the money. And as with everything please don’t waste anyones time if you decide to work with him. Professionalism is key *inserts flashbacks*, man fuck 2016.
Anyway this is probably going to be the last issue for this year. Sucks right, I am working on Act 2 as we speak, well not currently as we speak because obviously I am working on this issue but you get the point. I am doing coloring videos on my instagram snap chat thingy from time to time, feel free to check that out. You ever see someone color to a soundtrack, no? Ok there ya go. Talk to ya in 2018, here’s hoping I won’t be so damn tired next issue. Meanwhile I’m gonna try to see the new Star Wars, Thor, and Justice League movies. Yeah I’m behind.
Have you ever played Sonic Cd? I feel the bulk of you just went no, well 1. Why? 2. It is ok because I will explain. In Sonic CD, Sonic the Hedgehog would be in the past, present and future at various points in the game. Why is this relevant because I realized that is how this website will seem sometimes. The theme song is now playing in my head.
Anyway.
So there are some perks to being unemployed, kinda. I get to spend my time story boarding Act 2 of comic series Azure Ascendance and try to get some photo projects well when life lets me. Let me explain. As I said I’ve been storyboarding the fuck out of Act 2, which you would think would be easy since I literally wrote the story a while ago. But I have to make sure the story still makes sense, characters are anatomically correct, and I don’t do the same boring character stances every single fucking panel. Once I actually finish gesturing out Act 2(currently on issue 10), then I will go back and confirm the line work, ink, scan and then spend the next several months coloring. Yes, you read that write several months.
But Jano isn’t each Act going to be 5 issues?
Yes, and ideally I should get 1 issue done a month. BUT that is ideally and as we all know sometimes idealism is not a reality. Hence why I am saying several months instead of 5. As far as Issue 2 is concerned that will be released soon.I don’t plan on releasing an Issue until I can purchase the copyright. Let me remind ya’ll, if someone steals my work I will stab the fuck out of their life and sign their dead body with my cum. Spoiler alert: I have a foul mouth and make no apologies for it. My parents would be so proud….not really.
As far as my photo projects that I’ve been trying to bring life to since April. YO, Unprofessional people are the absolute worse, they can get stabbed in their cunt hole souls. I had wanted to try to do a few more fantasy concept shoots but after the arduous, annoying, and aggrevating ordeal of securing models the past few months for the 4 ideas I had, I legit will wait to next spring before to pursue those artistic visions I desired. Spoiler Alert: when I am done with these few remains shoots, there is a high chance I will be retiring my camera for the next few months. The only way I am going to do a shoot is if I am getting paid, unless we have a prior arrangement. And if we do have a prior arrangement (example when you say you will model for me), after a courtesy check I will not continue to chase you down if you expressed an interest.The only way I may do it is if 1. You actually matter to me as a person or 2. wait, there is no 2. I am totally ok with dropping worthless souls from my life 😉
That’s essentially where I stand with my projects.I did one of my concept shoots on Sunday and I will be working on those photos this week. I legit want to spend a lot of my time playing video games but I know if I pick up the controller I may go down the rabbit hole and won’t work on my book. Yay for moderation and a tiny bit of laziness. In other news there is only 1 episode left of Game of Thrones this season(UGH),Remember Dragon Lives Matter. The Defenders still made me wanna burn The Iron Fist.Rick is the koolest pickle I’ve ever seen in my life, he could be a Defender.Eclipses are magical, and remember when you see a Nazi stab them and make it look sexy.
