Yo I think Nigger heat season is officially over, never mind fall started like 2 weeks ago but whatever. Yay for global warming, not really the Earth is fucked.
Anyway as I type this, my homegirl is shooting a movie in my place. We will talk about that later. What I will say about it right now is that someone’s feet is horrendous as fuck and I am so damn over it.
FUCK BRUH! White people don’t be taking care of their feet I promise you, shit be smelling like old corn chips, mildew and expired grease.
DAMN.
Ok, thats enough for now
Anyway.
So this is peaceful issue, and by peaceful I don’t have the urge to cut anyone’s throat. At all.
Spoiler Alert.
So this story starts with a cotton field, the same cotton field that I am unfortunately about to be in for a whole year. Ugh.
Anyway through a series of events, ie our mutual friends who were smart enough to leave this cotton field, me and the model of this issue became close as time went on.
More so over this past summer.
Texting, post cotton field hang outs, and things of that nature. She told me her last birthday was trash on a stick. And since I do that thing called listening, I tried to figure out something to do for her bday that she might actually like.
At first the thought was an art museum, at first.
But at some point I met up with a friend I made at another cotton field. He was paying back for watching over his dog as well as me giving him back the keys to his place. We hang out for a while, since its been a while and we don’t share the same cotton field anymore. Within that time frame he told me about this place called Portal, which is an interactive art gallery.
I googled it and it made a nigga YEET.
August 4th came, and we got ready for the day. She got ready in the dress I got her, she told me not to look as she got ready. That was easy enough. When she came out, I was impressed.
Thoroughly impressed.
So impressed that I actually decided that I thought we could walk around downtown and shoot some images of her.
I wasn’t playing about this being a simple issue, this is an actual easy flowing issue.
We parked in the same parking deck as when I shot Sunday Stroll, the walk is relatively short. The wind burst to her attire were troublesome but it was short lived. Very short lived.
We arrived, if it wasn’t for the sign pointing to it we would have missed it completely. The space was small but effective. Despite what the website when I purchased the ticket there was no allotted time to be there. We could stay as long as we desired, which I’m grateful for because this place was an example of the word dope.
Dope as fuck.
There were at least 6-8 rooms. Within seeing the first two rooms and I asked one of the employees was it cool to go back to my car and get my camera. A few minutes later and it was business time.
Man that last part was corny, but this place was deemed to be worth of talking about on my website. At first glance it was going to be just a camera phone adventure.
Upgrade Motha Fuckaaaaaaa.
Despite the huge amount of selfies she has taken, she has never modeled before. It didn’t show at all. None what so ever. She took directions wonderfully, and improvised parts she wanted to try as well.
I legit like when people who have never modeled before, do a wonderful job on their own. Makes things so much more easier for me. So much.
However, because of mistakes on my part there weren’t as many good shots as there could have been. I totally need to practice in between shoots. The events that happened in this issue occurred in August, and the issue prior was April, before that ummm August 2018.
Yea you get the point.
I asked her would she model for me again, and she said yea. The aspiration is there, maybe I could use her for one of the stones I’m looking for.
Maybe.
MAN I hope so because looking for a model for that project has irked the fuck out of my soul. Ya’ll have no idea how much of an arduous journey that is going to be for me to type. FML with a god damn pig.
Anyway to see the images from her bday present from me. click here.
In other random news because sharing is caring and this is good news on my side of life, I am going to be in my first art show, YEET.
Some fellow slaves I pick cotton with at the same place that allowed this issue to happen told me about it. It will be an art show inspired by anime. Fuck yeah nigga I’m in there like cum in a bellybutton.
But Jano, you mean they saw what you draw and allowed it.
YAAAAAAS,
For those who live in Charlotte, it will be October 25th 7pm-10pm at Camp North End.
Spoiler Alert, I am both pretty as fuck and Awkward as fuck.
Depending on how life goes I may talk about it next issue.
AND
I may be in a RAW artist show on November 20th at the Filmore. That is still in the making, but I just accepted my invite.
My legit goal is to be like the music artist I’ve seen this year (Anderson Paak, Kilo Kish, Marsha Ambrosious , J. Cole, Kota the Friend, Banks, and soon to be Sabrina Claudio and Incubus.) promote art, have people buy said art, get easier to get models, and somehow SOMEHOW get my comic series animated, streamed on popular tv services and reap the seeds of what I sowed. Oh yeah and at some point to open up my own non profit.
Speaking of my comic series, I just off an urge to add a few pages to an issue and redo the cover of the next issue. As far as the actual progress of said AfroFuturism comic series,
SIGH
I legit need a new cotton field to shuck and jive in that doesn’t leave so fucking exhausted. A nigga just wants to color and follow his dreams. Thats all.
Anyway thats it for now, I legit have to get ready for said cotton field. 336 am comes early. If I don’t see you on October 25th, I’ll see you next issue.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
FUUUUCK!!!!!
*deep breath
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
Riiiiight.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
Yay.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
Again.
UGH,
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
YAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
FUCK.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
*deep breath
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed. Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival. Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.
And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.
YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice
Anyway.
This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.
Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.
So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.
In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life. Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.
I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.
I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.
Nigga what?
You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.
Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.
This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.
Typical.
Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.
Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid,a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.
Anyway.
I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.
Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.
Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies. We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.
For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.
But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?
Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose. At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house. Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera. Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.
None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.
But Jano why don’t you decorate?
Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.
I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.
Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.
I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.
But Jano, didn’t you practice?
Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.
Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem
We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her. The ironic part is that for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.
As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras. Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did. Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.
Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.
Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.
But for right now I am going to wash my hair.
Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.
YO its fucking March now, that shit is wild. Like holy fuck. The concept of time is blowing my mind right now, like woah. Almost as much seeing Anderson Paak in concert did. YES LAWD, that shit was amazing last week. And then Kilo Kish this week. I think concerts maybe a new thing for me, just maybe.
Anyway.
So this months issue is one of those family friendly, wholesome, and full of tender moments that make you believe in humanity. I guess things like this is good for you every once in a while.
Spoiler Alert, I probably won’t be ranting about the events of this shoot…probably.
Side note, I’m legit have some form of writers block right now so the writing in this issue may not be the best.
At some point in February last year while I was scripting my comic series Azure Ascendance, one of my homegirls I met in a Psychology and Law class at UNCG during my last year hit me up. She told me her and her husband were in the process of closing on their first home, and wanted to do house reveal photos. After I gave a wave of holy shit congrats for being real adults, I told her I was down. I let her know I was available on the w.ends mostly. I said mostly because I was technically working two jobs but one wasn’t scheduling me. Right it was odd, not that I was upset but thats another story.
Fuck retail.
Anyway, the date that she wanted to do the photos was actually on Easter and ironically we were close that day. Who knew? Real shit I didn’t know, I didn’t think some retail chains have souls.
*cough Ikea cough*
The day came and I headed to her new house after I got something to eat. I got in her neighborhood and was like oh yea I’m def poor poor and not a real adult. Not at all, no such real adult exist. None.
I parked and walked up to the door.When she opened the door I looked down and saw a pregnancy belly as she yelled surprise.
HOLY FUCK. Wasn’t ready, at all. Like…HOLY FUCK.
Flabbergasted is putting it mildly how shocked I was, I had to sit down. I think I shouted Holy Fuck and Congrats multiple times, along with other things to that affect. Her husband walked in, and I said you couldn’t pull out could ya? We all laughed.
Side note, we all know how babies are made right? Its 2019 and I’m not filtering my mouth for anyone because they missed sex education.
But in case you have no idea I’ll tell ya.
Spoiler Alert, babies are made when sperm bombs explode in a vagina hole.
Anyway after we caught up she told me what type of photos she wanted and we got to it.
Told ya this is a pretty undramatic issue. The only problem that existed was that I need a better lens for wide angle shots. I promise at some point I heard my knee pop while trying to get an all encompassing photo of their house.
FUCK!!!!
Anyway when it was over we went to get something to eat. She asked me if I could I get them done soon so she can do a big social media reveal. So when I got home I knocked it out within a few hours.
Spoiler Alert, I’m the magical pretty negro your parents warned you about.
So Jano what are they having?
Well that will be revealed in another issue. But for right now you can check out my knee popping images here.
If all my shoots were as straight forward as this, I probably wouldn’t be so existential. Just saying.
Thats actually all for this. As far as my comic is concerned I need to do better. Legit need to do better. I haven’t progressed as far as I would want since I restarted coloring mid January.
Jano how many pages have you colored?
6. 6 fucking pages. I’m so disappointed in myself. I blame my job, I do. I’m exhausted as fuck when I get off and have a weird sleep pattern because of it. If this cotton field shut down right now, I would legit be excited because I could color to my souls content.
I just want to see comic turned animated on Netflix and Hulu, fuck these jobs that do nothing for me and my soul. Any witches reading this please feel free to help. It’ll be a nice bday gift for me this month. That and Spiderman for PS4, just saying.
Anyway, I’m going to play X-men Vs Street Fighter since I finally got it to work.
Yo On God my nigga, I hate summer rain forecast. How am I supposed to accurately plot out my life if it says it is going to rain, but yet it is as dry as all the old cum in my belly button. Now Summer Rain By Carl Thomas is playing in my head, great because I don’t have enough over emotional ass songs playing in my head.
Anyway.
Remember when I said I did 3 photoshoots last April, well this is the final one. AWWW the simple times of picking a location, asking someone to model for you, then shooting them on a set date. MAN, what a time to be alive.
But Jano what do you mean?
You’ll see in upcoming issues. Holy Fuck you will see.
Anyway.
Back in the cunt bag year of 2016 in August when I was unemployed and foolishly trying to get a stable job as a web designer.
I went to a crash course coding networking event for the now defunct as fuck Iron Yard. It was in Uptown/ Downtown Charlotte in this building called Packard Place.While I was waiting for this event aka waste of my time to start, I stared out the window and saw Romare Bearden Park. I started thinking it would be fun to do a shoot there.
Fast Forward to March 2017.
Two of my friends from college decided to visit me. At some point when they were having a conversation which I could contribute nothing to, so I started scrolling on Instagram.
Jano, that is so rude.
Fuck off, ya’ll do it too.
Anyway, I was scrolling and saw a photo from one of my former slave coworkers from the plantation, IKEA. At some point I decided to ask if she would model for me, she said yea, and I internally while externally went YAAAAS.
I promise ON GOD, ON GOD MY NIGGA, this is the last time that a model search will be this fucking easy for me. I legit just face palmed.
Anyway.
Even though me and her worked together at that cunt customer cotton field for 3 years, I legit didn’t know anything about her or fashion sense. Real shit majority of the time I saw her I talked shit to her. But not hardcore shit that would make someone do a Hannah Baker, but like soft core shit that you could put on a ice cream cone and serve up with a smile.
I just threw up in my mouth a little with that analogy.
We met up so I could browse her closet and we picked an outfit each, picked a date, and caught up about life after. The next day I went to downtown to plan a route for how I wanted this shoot to go. Because ya know its important to storyboard mentally how you want events to go that you are planning. At least in my world.
Alicia Keys so simple is so playing in my head right now.
The day came and I was one of the few who realized that drinking and driving isn’t a good thing and spent the night at a friends house after a bday party. Safety First. Fast Forward through slow service at Midnight Diner, Goodbyes, college buddy group photos, and me going home to showering (because ya know hygiene is key), it was shoot time.
She had never modeled before and I was like girl you’ll be fine.
And she was, Legitly.
She had a lot of excitement and I didn’t regret my choice. She channeled her Americas Next Top Model as she got comfortable being in front of the camera. I almost felt bad for all the soft serve shit I gave her in the cotton field. Almost.
Everything for the next few hours were Kool….. except when my nuts met a guard rail. HOLY FUCK OF FUCKING FUCKED CUNTS, FUCKING JOB HAZARDS. She told me to shhh my yelling because a child was near by. NIGGA FUCK THAT CHILD!!. My tender freshly clean nuts just got more tenderized by this fucking metal guard rail. NIGGA!!!!
Spoiler Alert, if we do a shoot and I get hurt in an extreme way I will yell. No fucks shall be given about the opinions and ear drums of the surrounding people. None, no such fucks shall exist.
Anyway to see the by product of this blissfully planned day go here.
In case ya’ll have been wondering why I keep emphasizing how easy things went is because the next four photoshoots I talk about were arduous as when Vegeta was trying to become a Super Saiyan. Didn’t get that anime reference? Fine, it was like trying to avoid spoilers on the internet when you haven’t seen an episode or movie yet. Actually I rather try to avoid spoilers then deal with the fuckery I dealt with last summer.
Ironically enough despite planning it is happening again this year.
Spoiler Alert, the next few issues will be full of shade, sarcasm and salt. So much Salt that you would think I was gonna put Mortons Salt out of business.
The moment you realize that your Art Journey is similar to a Role Playing Game.
Yo Real Shit I wanna pass back out after just waking up a few hours ago, never mind I kinda I have to so I can be in the cotton field in a few hours. Right now the only thing keeping me awake is listening to Hannibal Buress as I type this. Damn it Spotify stop fragging up on me. Why are you like this?
So anyway since it’s the holidays and there was a period between September and November when my posting schedule got fragged cuz of adjustment to slavery and ain’t shit nigga fuckery. I decided to do another issue this month.
Fuck, I’m so fucking tired. Fuck.
Anyway where am I in this journey, oh yeah August 2016. Like I said a few issues ago I had this grand idea of a photo series about those with artistic abilities. Ya know acting, writing, music, etc. Most people had dropped out but luckily one of my friends was still able to do it. One of my boys I met when I was picking cotton.
Yeah, you read that right, picking cotton. Where? Everyone’s favorite plantation, IKEA. That nazi slave camp, but real shit I met some kool people in the process of shucking and jiving. Spoiler Alert, there will always be a strong slave solidarity against snobbish ass white people.
Anyway.
My fellow freed slave is Producer and Beat Maker Justin Nelms, who makes candy for your ears. Nigga when I say your ear drums will cum slowly from hearing his sounds that is not an exaggeration. If you like Nujabes then you will def like his material. Probably because he was born into a family of music. Genetics can be a good thing at time especially when said source material is augmented by dedication to your craft.
The photo session was insanely chill especially since I didn’t end up in pain like I did in the Scarlet Tracks issue. Unfortunately it was cut short because he had a deadline to meet but we def shot some good material within the time span we were allowed. Despite that it was a good shoot and fun to see one of my fellow slaves free and enjoying life.
Some of the photos from said adventure are here. As for my friend check out his website here, his sound is definitely worth the money. And as with everything please don’t waste anyones time if you decide to work with him. Professionalism is key *inserts flashbacks*, man fuck 2016.
Anyway this is probably going to be the last issue for this year. Sucks right, I am working on Act 2 as we speak, well not currently as we speak because obviously I am working on this issue but you get the point. I am doing coloring videos on my instagram snap chat thingy from time to time, feel free to check that out. You ever see someone color to a soundtrack, no? Ok there ya go. Talk to ya in 2018, here’s hoping I won’t be so damn tired next issue. Meanwhile I’m gonna try to see the new Star Wars, Thor, and Justice League movies. Yeah I’m behind.
