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Dear Friends of Jano,
Fuck, I don’t even know how to start this issue. Although technically I did just start it with a nice medium size fuck.
You know what else is fun? The fact that I’ve been checking my website stats and people are actually coming to my website on a more frequent basis. I’m impressed because no one was coming here for a while when this first started. Are people actually reading the lengthy thesis level issues I present on a monthly basis? I have no idea, but you’ve been logged in the record book either way niggaaaaaa.
So Spoiler Alert, this isn’t going to be your standard issue of me recalling a photoshoot. Honestly at this point in my life I am too exhausted for it right now.
Despite the fact that the next few issues are pretty straight forward and simple. Probably because they aren’t my ideas and don’t involve the chaos of me trying to find a model, a location, etc, etc, et fuckin cera.
Yay, I guess.
But right now I am legit not in the mood for a flashback of Jano Bizarre JRPG Adventure….and I may not be for a month, or two…or more…..
I type this as I listen to Minthaze latest album which matches my somber mood as of late.
OMG Jano are you ok?
Eh, its a litany of things honestly.
Hey Google play H.E.R. I’m not ok. If this was Myspace i would totally have that song embedded on this issue. Simpler times…kinda.
I’m not sure why September sucks for me, but it does. Every year for no apparent reason, maybe it is some form of seasonal affective disorder. You may think I say this in jest, but I’m not. Like clockwork when September arrives my spirit withers for the bulk of the month, even if there is no type of dramatic saga occuring.
However this year it is coupled with a few things.
My Car still isn’t working sadly. I finally took it to the shop and I’m hoping next week ends me having to depend on lyft drivers and using my girlfriends car. At this point in my life I just wanna do hoodrat shit with my friends while surviving a pandemic and racism. That feels like a facebook status, but right now I think I am about to be in recluse mode and disappear off the internet for a while. But this saga has persisted for the last 6 months and I just want it to end.
Essentially I have been grounded and as such I’ve tried to make the best of my time. And with that I have been doing entirely too fucking much in hopes to get my art in these streets. Particularly in the streets of Atlanta, New York City and California via bookstores.
Thats the goal at least. I already have it in one here in Charlotte, but that isn’t good enough for me. I think going to New York City really changed my perspective on somethings. At some point I want to have a book signing event, but I’m still currently making merchandise to ideally sell.
Thats right, lil ol Jano is crafting up in these streets. Ideally before October ends there will at least be a store front. I say ideally because I wanted all this shit done over the fucking summer. But when you combine a Jeff Bezos cottonfield that doesn’t provide many hours nor chances to pick up extra shifts and a car problem that isn’t properly diagnosed, and other things that i can’t put in quick quip phrases. It makes any plans that involve cash rather difficult to fulfill.
So there is that as well.
On top of that I found out I have another art show in a month, which i need to make 2 new pieces for which isn’t so bad. However, I really want to finish coloring issue 13 and do the final touches on act 3 of my comic series. Sadly that may be the last full issue I finish this year.Maybe i can get through issue 14, maybe. The current cottonfield I’m in is busy until Halloween and after that everything tapers off. The real question is will I get kept afterwards and then how long. If i could be unemployed for a few months to work on my book that would be great, but things cost fucking money and its upsetting. Here’s hoping things work out on the art front of life and everything else follows suit.
In midst of all this I found out a friend from college passed away from cancer, adding fuel to the existential fire. Contemplation of how at some points we will either be mourning the lost of friends over the years or we will be the one who is being mourned.
The concept of time is absolutely terrifying. As is how eventually we drift apart from each other after we leave a space, and eventually get caught up in the space of our new lives to the point where we rarely reach out to those we no longer share a space with. That sentence was probably a run on but you. caught what I was pitching.
It hurts….at least for me. I miss my friends as I navigate this trail of trials.
I realized in the 4 years I’ve had this site this is the most vulnerable I’ve been.
Sometimes vulnerability is needed tho. Especially when it comes to breaking a pattern I have established over the bulk of the past four years. Right now I’m not in the space to recall a saga with all the plates I need to prepare for consumption as well. Maybe I’ll be gone til November…maybe by then I’ll be back to just working on my book and an issue a month.
In non somber news, I just finished Dear White People today. I legit loved that show. I was hoping to be finished with my comic before it was over, that and Insecure. However it does not appear to be the case. Ugh I just got somber and existential again.
As long as I finish before One Piece ends. That is still doable…I think.
Side note, if you want to help me get out of these bullshit seasonal cottonfields, while wanting to help have a meaningful job that helps the community and care about the black community. You should donate to Back to Black, the organization I help out with when not wandering through the art fields.
Was that a shameless promotion to help me the non profit work with to get funded faster so that I can have real job?
Do I give a shit how tactless that was?
At least it wasn’t as tasteless as a youtube ad.
FUCK, i just remember another Mercury Retrograde is on the way.
I can’t in my spirit right now.