Tag Archives: Existentialcrisis

Existential 5 year save file

04 Sunday Jul 2021

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Dear friends of Jano,

Man. MAN.

Life has been a bit wonky lately. Part of me wants to blame it on Mercury Retrograde….ya know what fuck it. I totally blame it on Mercury Retrograde. More so since I found out there has been 2 this year so far and a third is still to come.

What type of fuckery is this?

All I wanna do is do hood rat shit with my friends, play video games, be a witch, work on my comic series, and save up enough money from the bullshit cotton field I work at and from art products I want to make and sell so that I can quit and work on my book again until its completed.

Spoiler Alert, I Just want to color all night like I did in 2016.

Thats all. I’m a simple man.

But no, lately its been trying to figure why the fuck my car keeps on stalling. Dude its so annoying and traumatic all things considered, on Kami. Hopefully this will be resolved soon.

Hopefully.

Anyway today I felt nostalgic as fuck as I realized the position of the calendar day of this month. 5 years ago in the trying times of 2016….actually in retrospect 2016 was kinda fun, minus being unemployed….I was trying to figure out how to build this fucking website on a Saturday after watching Dope for the first time.

FUCK, its been 5 years since i really got serious in this art journey.

The concept of time is so scary….also are all these fire works that are being shot off right now as I type this.As a nigga in the hood I know the difference between firecrackers and gunshots. Although right now it sounds like canons are being shot off.

Swing your dicks bro, I guess.

I’ve been bathing in a sea of existential ennui today as i wonder have I even achieved that much in my journey. I have learned ways to improve over the years. I’m not so awkward at shooting models, 5 years ago tho nigga i was trash.

So much trash.

But for the most part all I did was events which weren’t much of a challenge. None, no such challenge exist. The bond with my camera has gotten closer in terms of technical skills. I’m not the best but i def know more than i did 5 years ago. MAN the shoots i’ve done and the journeys to complete them have felt like quest in JRPGs. Some I would redo just for the sake of a new skill level.

Spoiler Alert, I still am on the search of the last 2 infinity stones that I started search for at the tail end of 2017. UGH. Unfortunately, i don’t think i will get them this year…its a another jrpg side quest it seems.

Might as well segue off JPRG and link it to my comic that i started in the fall of 2016.

Man. MAAAAN. MAAAAAAAAAN.

That has been the bulk of the past 5 years, legitly. The irony is when 2016 started was hoping to have a stable job and not bounce from cotton field to cotton field. But here I am thanking life for all the times I was not working, because without it I wouldn’t have gotten as much as done.

Literally.

Here I am hoping for another employment break so I can finish the last 8 issues. Thats right 8 issues are left for me to color. Being quarantined because of Covid at the end of April, Early May def helped. If i can get at least 1 page done a day I should reach my goal of finishing before the end of 2022.

Ideally.

If life stops distracting me with these ordeals I can go back to focusing on what is important to me.

When it is over, honestly I just want to be a real boy. Of chilling, playing video games, and no big major projects. I miss that portion of my life. That may not ever truly return but at least I won’t have a major project looming over my head anymore.

There will be projects surely, but not a project that is at least 1000 pages.


FUCK! *Tyler the Creator voice.

Despite what you just read, I still love my story with all my heart.

I do.

Will I ever do another comic series? Honestly I don’t know. I want to say no because of how arduous this one has been, but random storyboard thoughts and character design flow through my head. If I did do it, It would be way shorter than my current saga or I would be paid for it.

But what I do have planned art wise are the following.

A store with art products I’ve designed. Literally the only thing I have to do is make said products and the store.

Finish the process of getting my book in stores.

Jano what?

Yes, amid all the craziness of this spring I got my book in one of the local book stores here. Nigga when I got the email I screamed like Will Smith did in various episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

YEET TO THE GAWDZ!!!!

Right now I’m playing email tag with the owner. Hopefully things will go smoother since Retrograde is over.

Hopefully.

Also more art shows. At this point i’ve done 4 and I dare say I’m getting use to them, Kinda. The next time I hope I have aforementioned merchandise ready.

Moral of the story; Jano is on the way to becoming an Icon that will make you yeet so hard cum will leak from your organs. I def need to get some photoshoots of me done for the sake of my narcissism and my website.

May this lead to me getting my Jrpg comic saga animated and so much more.

With that being said thats it for now. Next month I’ll pick back up on my photo journey with the shoots I’ve done this year so far. They are not chaotic in the slightest in the terms of what I have gone through for the shoots of summer 2017.

If you were helpful to me on this journey in the last 5 years Thank you. If not and you pissed me off…fuck you and everything you stand for.

Also big shout to Spotify for being there as I work on all my projects, and slowly learning my music habits. I appreciate you and your creepy ways.

Hail to the Guardians of the watch tower, Sun, Moon, star, North, south, east and west. Please help me achieve all my art dreams, those spoken and not spoken of. Let my life being balanced of art, joy, relaxation and no stress.

Blessed be.

Swimming with Giants

17 Saturday Apr 2021

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Dear Friends of Jano,

First and fucking foremost, I Miss DMX. HOLY FUCK His death hurt. FUCK. Fuck Prince Phillip, that nigga did nothing for my life like DMX. Shit.

DAMN!!

So….ugh….lets continue.

Man here we are still in a pandemic. Here we are still trying to avoid a super virus. Here we are trying to avoid a super virus and racism.

Well, some of us.

*Deep exasperated sigh*

So fucking exhausting. Meanwhile I am trying to navigate through the aforementioned lanes, and multiple other avenues of life. MAN I wish knew getting my life together was going to be this complicated years ago…wait did I? I don’t know if I would have stuck around for it.


No really. I’m pretty fucked up. Spoiler Alert.

Meh, but I do like JRPG and that is what I am defining this art journey which I roughly started 5 years ago.

FUCK!! The concept of time is wild. Drive slow homie.

Thats right this is a JRPG. if you know what that stands for man I really fuck with you. If not well google it, I’ll still be here.

What started with a simple quest of me wanting to get better with posing people since I had only really done events, has morphed into…whatever the fuck this is. Am I even close to the final boss? Or am I on a string of side quest with no real end sight? Honestly I have no fucking idea.

I did have a realization that the last summer I had where I didn’t obsess over projects was Summer 2016. So the goal is, as surprising as this may sound considering how much I abhorred that year, is to be as free as I was that blasphemous year.

Whew Chile, that was a sentence that really came out of my mouth. Ok, we are here now.

But I legit just miss playing video games without having some sense of guilt and existential dread/ crisis/ ennui….all of the the existentialism I’ve felt it. Deep, DEEP In my chest.

*deep breath*

Hopefully I can consolidate lanes and reach a destination in Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure.

Yo on Kami, sometimes my metaphors come out so smooth I get a lil moist and juicy.

Anyway, none of that has anything to do with this months issue. None, no such bearing on this issue exist.

This months issue is a peaceful, wholesome issue that occurred during the trying times of 2020. I said fucking wholesome nigga. Translation, nothing to do with my quest to get any of the infinite stones. Yea those things.

Spoiler Alert, It is going to be a while until that guantlet is complete.

Honestly, don’t hold your breath.

This issue is a rare moment where my personal life and my art journey intersect in this Venn diagram, henceforth here we are.

Do you remember the Portal issue? No? Ok go read that if ya didn’t. And if you did well congrats for keeping up with my life. Well her and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary at the tail end of last June.

Awww Jano thats sweet.

Yea tender moments and all that. Well to celebrate we went to Charleston, a place I was going to treat myself when I completed my gauntlet, but ya know that ain’t happened. Plus Charleston is expensive especially when you don’t make shit and you are saving to quit a cottonfield that makes your throat lump up.

Smh fuckin’ horrible bro.

But we went down there on a whim, it felt nice to go esp after I finished coloring Act 2 of my comic series, and it was a legit goal of mine. I went in 2014 as part of a staff retreat but I didn’t get to enjoy it. This time, yea I did.

During our visit we went to an aquarium. YAAAAS to marine life. YAAAAAAS. This lil nigga gets excited about fish, judge me if you want I don’t give a shit. At some point during our visit one of the guides told us that if we liked this one we would enjoy the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. So fast forward to early August we went to Atlanta for her bday.

On kami, that aquarium was huge.Thoughts I had as our hotel was right across from it. Part of the reason it had such girth was because it was the home of whale sharks. Which she made her goal to swim with.

Nigga what?

Yea.Swim with Whale Sharks.

Jano, did you do it too?

If I did, who would have taken the images that you are about to look at? Do you really think I will place someone else art work on MY website. Nigga bye.

Besides

1. I can’t swim

2. Anxiety and terror are a real thing.

3. I still was unemployed at this time, and it wouldn’t be fair to have her spend that large of an amount on something I wasn’t that excited to do. Tickets were at least in the 230-250 range. Sometimes I am decent person, sometimes.

She bought her ticket early on and literally had the entire day until that episode of adventure time aired. Until then we toured the rest of the aquarium. Ya’ll I saw dolphins, turtles, and octopi. Nigga I yeeted.

The time came and she armored up to dive with those behemoths. We were escorted to the top of a tank, meanwhile I chilled in an area designated for those who were accompanying the divers. The experience last for at least an hour. They were told they could no touch the sea spawn as a sign of respect. She told me swimming wasn’t necessary, the gear they was issued out kept you floating without any work on your part.

I still feel like I would have panicked and drowned. As I said anxiety and terror are a very real thing. Very real.

Very.

Fucking.

Real.

Anyway to see this Marine level excursion with whale sharks and manta rays go here.

Like I said , this is a pretty peaceful issue.

Join me next time when…..eh just come back in a month. I’m too tired to do a preview.

No really, I ran errands all day and its now 2:42 am, and I’m supposed to have a shoot tomorrow. Supposed to.

So thats all folks.

DAMN IT RYUSARU!! GET ME PICTURES OF SILK!!

12 Monday Aug 2019

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AxFSyDue

 

Dear Friends of Jano,

This has been a sporadic and slaveful as summer,at least for me. FUCK. Kanye West Spaceship is legit playing both in my head and on my Spotify  Can my Azure Ascendance spaceship come in and so I can fly away and do art things instead.

Anyway.

This saga actually isn’t complicated, compared to some of the others I’ve shared. Its just more so a matter of waiting.

It literally started Spring 2017 with a white girl.

But Jano, how did it go from white girl to your friend we have seen model for you 3 times who clearly isn’t white?

Well if you shut the fuck up you will find out :).

At some point in Spring 2017 when I was unemployed as fuck, yep that unemployment streak that started January 2016. MAN that was an arduous time.

Anyway.

I random white girl followed me on IG. At the time I was not posting anything on any social media platform. At the time my mindset I wasn’t gonna post anything until I got a full time job finally…

HA I was foolish.

Anyway because of that some of  the most recent things I posted were photos of cosplay images. She DM’d me saying she would like to do a cosplay shoot, and me at the time who has not done one yet was down.

What followed was a series of events that made me more so loose patience with humanity, more so.

For those who weren’t paying attention, I wasn’t employed at the time.Employment didn’t happen until mid April and lasted until Early June. Followed by me being unemployed for 2 weeks, working for a month, then unemployed again until September. All of which, except for the 1st weekend of new slavery, I had the weekends off.

I would hit her up multiple times, and yet despite it being her idea she was never available. I appreciated her actually replying but at the same time I was irked. From the time period of Mid July to September, asking became ridiculous. She would tell me that she had alot going on, but then her IG stories would have a caption of going to meet a photographer. Days later it would be photos up of her in the outfit from the IG stories from said photographers.

Ya’ll listen, the older I get the less fucks I give.

Spoiler Alert.

I’m not gonna continue to chase people down for something that was their idea. I’m not.That mindset translate into a lot of things these days. I don’t have the time nor patience from it.

If you have an idea that you want done, and you don’t make an effort to make it happen. I.E. if I keep asking and the only thing you tell me is you’ll let me know, I’ll let it go.

As  I let this go.

Summer 2017 was more hectic than I planned in terms of model searching. Finding models for Graveyard Craft, Schoolgirl Craft, Masquerade day, and and a fucking mermaid was a legit an Rpg type journey.

So….many…..side ….quest…..

During the mermaid saga when I finally had my model solidified. I told my homegirl about the aforementioned treachery, and she told she would do a cosplay photoshoot for me.

So let me publicly gush for once. She is legit my favorite model out of all the people I worked with.

Spoiler Alert.

She is, she drove down to help me out multiple times to help me fulfill my art dreams and was willing to do it again. I’m sorry none of you others can compare to her at all. Some of you may be mad, but I don’t give a fuck. If I actually get to shoot any of them more than once for another idea of mine  I will be surprised. So to my homegirl I want to say you are the best, and I’m glad we met at that winter comic convention in 2013. Whenever I see you again I owe you food for all the times you helped when I was unemployed, plus you left your brush here.

Tender moments are over.

Back to this journey.

Even though she had agreed to help me out, it wasn’t that a simple thing. No major reason, just schedule conflicts. We both were working retail, and even when my schedule  switched to weekend availability in the Spring of 2018 she still wasn’t able to make it down. Which sucked because I did have an idea to do it during the Spring while the trees were blooming new leaves for the year after a frigid callous winter.

Eventually August 2018, it happened after the original agreement was formed in September 2017. The day came and she arrived at my house, it took a minute before we actually did the shoot. I was recovering from a lush filled night, ironically enough when I did the masquerade shoot it was the day after I drank on a Sunday in August too.

Eh.

She prepared herself make up wise, while I got my equipment ready. I drove to downtown where I envisioned this happening. The weather was perfect, as in I didn’t have to worry about her dying from heat exhaustion. It was a cloudy chill day so neither of us would sweat our spirits away.

Nothing extraordinary happened. She knew more about the character than I do, so my usual look at Pintrest for posing ideas was useless.  The only other things that happened was that children thought that she was kool and wanted pictures with her. There was this one nigga, who was exactly that a nigga. I regret letting him take a photo with her, his last words were that picture will get ya’ll famous.

Negro please I didn’t even edit that nonsense.

I reject thou niggatry with the greatest power of the force.

Anyway.

We ended the shoot since she hadn’t eaten all day. We had talked about doing a night shoot but that didn’t happen. Partially because I was afraid it would be a repeat of what happened in Incandescent Spirits, the other half was because niggas were tired as fuck. OMG, I really need to start stretching before I shoot people I do.

At any rate, we went to get something to eat. She introduced me to Poke’bowls and Poke’ Burritoes. OMFG, they are so great. Blessed Be Korean food. We went back to my house and hung out, while she played her favorite songs.

Ugh, I just remembered how she played that foolishness of Kanye West Lift Yourself…OMG. I legit didn’t think it was him, and I’m upset I heard it.. A far from cry from Spaceship I mentioned earlier.

Someone save Kanye from Kanye

SMH.

At any rate to see the images from that day click here.

On another note, this is actually the photoshoot I did of 2018. Not by choice, not by choice at all. As far “Infinity Stones” go, at this point I have 3 of the 6 I am determined to get.  Other shoots were supposed to happen, but ya know life and peoples fickleness.

Moral of the story, Don’t trust white girls who slide and your DM’s. As well don’t chase anyone down when it is their idea.

Next issue will take place in 2019. I am almost caught up with time…or something…whatever…..

WOOT Tomorrow I go see Kota the Friend perform.

YEET.

Jano Out.

 

Abandoned Ravens Nest

01 Friday Feb 2019

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unspecified-11Dear Friends of Jano,

Damn its February already, fuck thats wild. But this polar vortex is even wilder, FUCK its so fucking cold when I leave my house to go pick cotton before the freaking sun is up.  Its 2019 and I’ve never heard of a polar vortex ever in my life prior to this week.  Is this the end of everything??? If it is I hope I get my X-Men Vs Street Fighter game first, it still hasn’t arrived since last issue. GRRRSSSH.

Anyway.

I type this as I breath in Lavender and Peppermint mist from my diffuser, hopefully it will calm me down as I type this.

But Jano Why?

Because 2018 was a fucking existential photographic nightmare. Thats right, as of this issue we are now in 2018 and will be for only 5 issues after this issue. I had so many photographic aspirations and goals last years that went unfulfilled. And here I was thinking that it would be simpler than the concepts I tried to pursue in 2017. Definitely found out there are deeper levels to feeling like trash. But we will get to that later.

As for right now we are gonna flashback to January 2018. My actress homegirl friend England Simpson, wanted to do another birthday photoshoot with her sister like we did in 2017.  Her and her sister share the same birthday as Edgar Allen Poe, yes the Edgar Allen Poe. I don’t know why I felt the need to say the Edgar Allen Poe like there is more than one. Fuck its 2019 and I’m going for dramatic effect for no reason. Anyway after our initial convo I started thinking of places where we could shoot at. The first place I thought of was McGill Rose Garden, figured it would be a nice ambiance.

Well it would have been. The original day we were going to do it England was on her deathbed (not really) and since I don’t like the idea of shooting someone when they are not feeling good we postponed it. The new shoot day became that Monday on Martin Luther King Jr Day, but we found out that the rose garden was closed on Mondays.

FUUUUUCK.

Spoiler Alert, I wasn’t that upset.

I scrolled my brain for possible new places and I remembered Stone Jackson Military School. My spirit was hit with so much joy.

But Jano why?

Stone Jackson Military School is an abandoned school with a mass amount of empty buildings. And I legit have been wanting to do an abandoned shoot for the longest period in my life. Well more so since I got serious about my photography journey in 2016. I had scouted it back in the summer of 2017, I had only drove by it though. But the campus is huge, impressive as fuck, and filled with so much potential.

That Monday came, the girls met at my house on the frigid fucking morning and we headed toward the campus. In retrospect there may have been a polar vortex that day too, cuz NIGGA it was cold. Oppressively and disrespectfully cold. England had told me on the drive up there that she was excited because she had viewed it online and saw some of the photos others had shot there. We were all filled with high hopes and magical negro joy.

Right about that.

We got there and all the buildings were fenced up, not regular fences but Jurassic Park style fences.  Nigga is there a T-Rex here?

Oh nigga I was upset, when I drove by this place a few months prior these fences weren’t in existence. Well they were in existence but not there. Since the vibe from this place was  forbidden as fuck, I parked at a store strip mall down the street from the school and we walked to the school.

Did I say it was cold as fuck? No well it was cold as fuck.

It only took a few minutes to get to campus from where I parked. We had to make sure not to step and slip on freshly frozen patches, the last thing was 3 negroes seen busting their asses on forbidden property. We looked around trying to see if there was any place we could sneak in a building.

*sigh*

Everything was boarded up and if it wasn’t boarded it was enclosed by fences that might as well be electric. At some point an old black man drove by and gave us a warning about us being on the property. At first we thought he was gonna be an informant and the cops would pull up and arrest us shortly after. But in retrospect he probably was just looking out for us so we wouldn’t be a new statistic of cop racism.

Despite his warning we stayed on campus a little while longer trying to make the best out of a blarghed scenario. The whole gated ambiance legit killed my mood, worse than an anime death scene I’ve seen. Shit was worse than seeing Neji die. At some point we saw a  gated building that had a hole in it, so England and I decided that we were gonna sneak in to get some shots while her sister decided to watch out. We literally just got in the gate and she told us that she heard a car, we bolted out of the enclosure ASAP. England escaped with no problems, me not so much. My coat got snagged as did my jeans, HARD. Cotton oozed from my goat and my thigh to my shin was exposed.

NIGGA!!!

That frigid weather is way worse when your body is exposed. I felt the wind fill my pants and tickle my balls. My whole ball sack and butt hole was frozen.

Spoiler Alert it is not a pleasant feeling, no such feelings existed for me that day. GOD DAMN IT my balls were cold.

We stayed a little bit longer to get some more shots of what we could so this trip wouldn’t be a total waste, but at some point our collective negro spider senses said we should leave to avoid police confrontation. The last thing I wanted was to have icicles growing out my asshole while dealing with a problematic racist cop while pursing my dreams.

We left, arrived back at my house, and as they chose their photos I changed pants and reclaimed the heat that I had been deprived of for the past 2 hours. The shoot was ok, minus that and everything being fucking gated as fuck. Maybe one day I’ll get to shoot an abandoned building without fear of prosecution. Martin Luther King Jr died for the right to purse my art dreams.

Anyway to view some of the photos from the day my nuts became surrounded by ice click here.

Anyway as Bugs Bunny says Thats All Folks, for this issue at least. Hopefully by the next issue I will have gotten my damn X-Men Vs Street Fighter game, beaten Final Fantasy 7, went to Anderson Paaks Concert, and somehow managed to finish coloring as issue of my comic series. Yo real shit I miss being unemployed like I was in 2016 – early 2017, I could stay up all night and work on my art all night. I just wanna color damn it.

Hail to the Guardian of the Watch Tower.  Sun, Moon, Star, North, South, East and West. Help me find time and give me the strength to color the rest of my comic series Azure Ascendance. Help me get it to where it is on Netflix and never have work these jobs I care nothing for ever again. And that I do the photoshoots that I didn’t get to last year.

Blessed Be.

Family Friday Fun Festivities

07 Monday Jan 2019

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unspecified-72

Dear Friends of Jano,

Its 2019 and it is a legit warm day opposed day compared to how cold it felt during the fall. MAN I hope it stays like this for like the rest of winter. My bank account would so appreciate it. Legit don’t want to pay more of a gas bill than necessary. No seriously. Keeping warm is fun until you have to pay for it.SMH.

Anyway right now I am legit typing this after deep throating a Burrito at Qdoba and fighting my urge to fully pass the fuck out like I usually do post cotton field. Spoiler Alert, I legit picked cotton today. No seriously. I felt the pain of my ancestors today in a diluted form,  Moments like this why I totally sided with Killmonger. Nigga where the fuck is Wakanda??

This issue will actually be a stark contrast to the last four in terms of the amount of  salt, shade and sarcasm.  As in little to none.

But Jano why? I like the asshole part of you.

Awwww thanks, I actually feel warm because of that. Still tired as shit, but just a lil bit warm. Is this what humanity feels like?

But this issue is a family issue, and the events of this photoshoot was no where near as difficult as the last four. Side note this is the last photoshoot I did of 2017.  By choice? No, but we will talk about that later on.

MAAAAN 2017-2018 was an existential nightmare. As Avril Lavigne’s complicated plays in my head now.

Hell this issue probably won’t be that long.

So my really close awesome homegirl friend, mother of the child I shot in Nature Badge, told me that she wanted to get photos of all her children. And since her and I have been besties since the era of Tom and Myspace I said that’s kool. The only actual issue there was with his entire shoot was to pick a time that we were both available.

In case you forgot I wasn’t working for 9 weeks over the summer of 2017, and when I did start working again it was back in the cursed land of retail. Fun. She told me about this Freedom Park Festival thing, which I literally have never heard of before a day in my life. Interestingly enough my schedule for that week allowed me to be free when she wanted. Look at retail hours not fucking up my life. Kinda.I was working 5am shifts, which are kool to a point., but nigga when you get off your body is ready to crash like *insert crashing body reference here.

Around the time it was time for me to get off I saw the store getting filled with people and it looked like my coworkers needed help…and I made no effort to help at all. Nope, no such help existed. I went to Food Lion to get cookies for the kids for a bribe. Yep, I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not good with children at all, so if snacks as a reward are gonna help you said children right so I can get photos of said children, then damn it I’m gonna buy snacks, with the parents permission.  Consent is key.,

We all arrive at the park, and I’m legit trying to stay awake and keep up with the pace of life. I talked mostly to my home girls eldest daughter who I shot before, still not legit use to children liking me. Unlike R.Kelly I don’t spend time around underaged people. The whole event was fun though, the kids got their face painted, had funnel cakes, play on the playground, and did other kid things. At some point I got pointed out that a member of the Carolina Panthers was there. Don’t ask me who I legit couldn’t tell ya.

I told ya’ll this is a pretty peaceful issue. Did I give the Spoiler alert? if not

Spoiler Alert, this is a pretty peaceful issue.

To see the chillest and most relaxed photoshoot I did of 2017 click here.. Most of these are candids, but I do candids oh so well.

Anyway like I said this is the last shoot I did of 2017. Next issue will be the start of the existential crisis that was 2018.

Spoiler Alert, unlike 2017 all of the photoshoots I did in 2018 will be premiered on may website this year.

SMH.

Anyway, I am about to do what I did after the events of this shoot….go home and pass the fuck out. Well probably after I watch Naruto and One Piece. This year I’m on the final episodes of Naruto, and the DressRosa Arc of One Piece. At some point before next issue I need to beat Final Fantasy 7. Especially since I just ordered X-Men vs Street Fighter. I can finally play it in the manner it was intended 20 years ago. 14 year old Jano would be happy as fuck.

Emerald Evisceration

11 Tuesday Sep 2018

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Peeping_cover with font

Dear Friends of Jano,

Yo if anyone gets me the new Spider Man game for PS4 I PROMISE, I fucking promise on god that I will….probably just be extremely grateful. Idk. I’m not big on making promises that I may not or don’t want to keep.

Just Saying.

Anyway, here we are. That nice little bonus issue that I was talking about in my last issue filled with high grade NaCl.

Some of you are probably googling NaCl. Salt niggas, Salt. Which I don’t plan on having an abundance of in this issue.

Anyway I want to debut my new Sketchtape.

Definition of Sketchtape, a clever combination of Sketchbook and Mixtape.

Used in a sentence,

Jano Ryusaru Presents his new Sketchtape Emerald Evisceration.

TADA.

I actually finished this earlier this year, but didn’t want to premiere it until I finish debuting each image on my social media pages from my last project Numinously Noir.

I started working on this spring 2017. At some point when I was working on Act 1 of my comic series Azure Ascendance, I had an urge to draw crazy ridiculous shit like I did in my first Sketchtape Miasmic Emancipation.

No thoughts, no fucks, just random line strokes and whatever formed is what formed. In a sense it was my Marshall Mathers 2. You can try to figure out “the meaning” of each image if you want, its your cognitive function you are wasting not mine.

However Spoiler alert, only 2 of these images in this project have any significance to me at all. If you figure out which then feel free to email me which 2 you think it is. The only thing you will get is a right or wrong answer. So if validation is what you are seeking feel free. Don’t expect us to do a discussion on it though.

Anyway.

The initial plan was to color these images when I was all finished with my comic series, but ya know how life be. Me getting my computer and drawing tablet stolen really fucked up my production schedule of my series. So I shifted to a mindset of I’ll color Act 2 once I finish storyboarding Act 3 and 4. Eventually I got my replacements, but the photography projects that I thought I would be able to knock out with no problems kept having well problems. Hell it still it is, here it is September and I still haven’t been able to do the 6 shoots I wanted to do this year. Fickle ass cunts denying me my infinity stones.I promise you disrespect is when someone says they will do the shoot, you buy the supplies and you never hear from them again. A message saying “I changed my mind” or something similar would suffice, instead of me foolishly reaching out and wasting my time waiting.

OMG Jano, what if they are reading this?

Spoiler Alert; I don’t give a fuck.

What does this have to do with my SketchTape, well a person has to self medicate some how. Some people buy adult coloring books, I color in images that I already drew a year prior. The combination of continuous cancellations and delays, fickle mindsets of those who previously agreed and a hidden episode from a saga in 2016 hit me pretty hard. Gotta love an existential crisis that you can numb through coloring with a myriad of hex codes, while blasting Incubus, Jungle Pussy, and Krizz Kaliko. I think I would have rather fought Thanos instead but an art catharsis is kool too, I guess.

I emotionally stroke this project down and didn’t pull out. Drip Drip.

You can either view the project in its entirety here. Or you can either follow my social media pages (see links on side bar navigation because I am not linking each of them here again) and watch me drop an image a month. Your choice, not my concern.

ANYWAY.

Next issue we continue my photography journey. Until then I’m gonna do hood rat shit with my friends, I think I have earned it after the past few months. But right now I am gonna lay here and let my back heal from drawing. Yea you read that right. Also yay for Iron Fist season 2 not sucking, I actually didn’t cringe nearly as much as I did in season 1.

Witch Hunt

03 Thursday May 2018

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c33a_preview

Dear Friends of Jano,

Ok before we talk about anything relating to my photographic journey I holy need to say Holy Fuck in regards to Avengers Infinity War. After somehow dodging most of the spoilers on social media I saw it last night and damn Thanos. That big purple nigga has me reevaluating my favorite villains in life. Every time he came on screen I was legit shook, like damn it is the Captain of the Death Rape Squad. Thanos is the type of the nigga who doesn’t pull out after he rapes you because he is going to abort the life he blasted inside you and your life when its all done in the name of balance. DAMN. I wish Thanos would blast Kanye West into atomic particles, since this nigga want to slave that slavery was a choice. This Nugga.

Anyway.

So spoiler alert I follow a lot of random things on instagram. photographers, art, models, suicide girls, alternate models, anime and other things that I can’ think of right now. Since I’m bombarded by an array of images of course I am going to be inspired and want to incorporate new things into my art. In particular I wanted to start alternate photography and since I know no one who does it I went to Craigslist.

Spoiler Alert, this was the beginning of so many fucking ads in months to come. But unlike future episodes, I got a model on the first try.  Man if it was always this fucking easy. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

She replied, we picked a time, I picked her up, we went to good ol’ Slave ghost filled Latta Plantation park and started shooting. At some point some guy who worked there spoke to us about how photography wasn’t allowed and I would have to pay an amount to shoot.

Look here ya fucking colonizer descendant:

1. I’m not paying a fucking fine to shoot with my fucking equipment. You can suck my whole dick, veins and circles.

2.My ancestors were slaves picking cotton in this god damn park that ya’ll filthy colonizers made a tribute park to. I’ll take photos here freely in honor of them. Now kill yourself ya descendant of murdering colonizing cunt.

Anyway, she did an outfit change and we migrated to the part of the park that wasn’t as plantationy. (New word bonus) That lasted for about another hour,  that was about it and I dropped her off. When I did I told her I’ll get her the photos as I can, my calendar was gonna be busy compared to how it usually was with other photoshoots I had to do. More so since I was about to start working.

Holy Shit Jano you finally got a job after not 1 yr and 4 months? Congrats.Holy fuck, where was it?

Don’t Matter since I don’t work there anymore, it was insanely short lived. So one day she texts me where are her pictures? I tell her I’m working on them, I promise you I read nothing but attitude when she replied just send them to me. I don’t deal with unnecessary attitudes especially when I let you know before hand things are gonna be hectic for me. She got the pictures a few days later and that was the end of that. There was a plan to do another shoot with the lights I had got a few months prior but that never happened, fine by me.

Anyway the photos from  that day are right here fam.

I wanna type more but at the same time, I wanna lay down and play some more Final Fantasy 7 while listening to J.Coles new cd again. I need to regain focus on my book. OMG.There are goals I’m hoping to meet within the next few months. The last thing I want is another existential crisis, did I say those are fun. Oh I didn’t because they ain’t. But in joyous news the new season of Dear White People comes out this w.end, so they may help my spirit in some fashion.

Before we go lets take a minute to pay our respects who lost their lives due to the Mad Titan Thanos. He definitely raped the souls out of their bodies. YES LAWD *Anderson Paak voice.

 

Scarlet Tracks

14 Thursday Sep 2017

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k56

 

Dear Friends of Jano,

Yo first and fucking foremost fuck not having my computer, OMG first world problems is a real thing. I just got it back after having to send it off to Apple land. Why? Because the mouse decided that it wanted to frag up on me out of the clear blue sky. And not just any clear blue sky, when I was watching One Piece in my anime block. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. I promise you before I sent it off I was hearing every old school 90’s r&b song that was about missing someone. So much sadness, ya’ll just don’t understand.

Anyway.

Now that I got my existential crisis out of the way, we can go on with the next stop of Jano’s model practice journey.

So once upon a time, I was dressed as Deadpool at Charlotte Comic Con December 2013, and there was this girl dressed as Poison Ivy. We met and became friends, and she decided to help me out. Because who doesn’t want to help a cute nerd with a smart ass mouth,who looks good in spandex and who went to the same college as you.The end.

Well not really, don’t leave yet.

Ironically enough the location we shot at I initially scouted for another photoshoot that got cancelled.(Which sucked because I totally could have used the money, Fuck you 2016). Anyway the location has a dead track, well that is at least what I was hoping as I was walking it. (Getting hit by a train is not part of my life goals.) The most aggravating part about this day was

1. That as we were getting ready to leave it rained, but only for an hour.

2.When it was over I was so fucking damn sore, NIGGA. I have to be the most skinny out of shape person in life. I have to be. This is what happens when you don’t go to the gym for a while, but the money is still be drafted out of your account. Yea, I need to work on that. I promise you the entire time we watched Sailor Moon R the Movie and ate pizza I questioned if It was normal to be this sore.

At any rate some of the pictures from that sore ass day are here.

Spoiler Alert: This won’t be the last time you see her. You should check out her cosplay pages in the meantime right here.

Meanwhile while ya’ll are doing that I need to catch up on my shows (Insecure, Boruto, DragonBall Super, Rick and Morty, Ninja Turtles, One Piece, X-Men, and Fairy Tail). Like I said first world problems are a real thing especially when you are not gonna pay for cable. That shit is high as fuck for no reason. Actually, no I need to do my hair, then I’ll watch my shows.

Oh MacBook, how I’ve missed you.