Its 2020, and yep its a whole new decade….*insert flashbacks and existential episode here.
FUCK.
You ever come back from a vacation and you have issues readjusting to life, when you already were bleh about it anyway? That has legit been me since I came back from the southern part of Florida. If you ever get a chance to check out Sanibel Island, do it. Industrialization has for the most part has not touched this part of the world. It is legit so beautiful.
Whats not so beautiful is the racism I experienced while in Cape Coral. Shit was repulsive.
Dear White People, Your logic of ignoring a black customer while having a black coworker is foolish. One day you are going to fuck with the wrong one, and I hope to hear about it on the news.
Anyway. Here I am weeks later on typing this issue finally. Like I said readjusting has been hard, as is finding the words to write this. This isn’t an actual major issue, at least for me. For lack of better words this is a filler issue….like some other issues.
But Jano, what is a filler?
Well if you are asking that you obviously don’t watch anime. A filler is an adventure is detailed that is unrelated, or tangential, to the main story arc(s).
In this case, the main arc is the collection of my “Infinity Stones”, which at this point still is 2 remaining photo shoots that have yet to occur. Although this may not be essential to my journey, sharing this would be helpful for another creative.
Who remembers my friend England Simpson? If that name sounds familiar then I really fuck with you, because she has been the subject of a few of my issues at this point. If not well, go read some back issues.
At some point in 2018, she had told me that my place would be a perfect place to film a movie.I told her she could as long as she paid me, she said of course. Time went by, like nearly 2 years really and she told me she is gonna do it the 1st weekend of October of 2019.
Side note, this issue actually takes place before the events of my first art show. Usually I do things chronologically but I was excited as fuck to talk about it.
At any rate we made preparations, and she came by one Sunday morning. She arrived probably 930 -10ish. I legit had no idea long of a day it was gonna be, I didn’t but whatever its happening now so I would find out. They arranged my living room to how they wanted it, prepped the actors, props and did script reads.
I stayed out the way since my only part was to provide a place for part of the movie to be filmed. I joked with her Sisters, read the rest of Grave Destiny and started reading AfroFuturism….which I still need to finish actually. One of the photographers showed me his work, plus showed me the capabilities of one my lenses. Honestly that was probably the best part.
The worst part tho….nigga…..
So, there was a person who catered the event. Which was ok because you know food is a necessary thing….but what isn’t necessary is this bloated bare foot lady horrendous foot odor. OMFG.
NIGGA!!!
NIGGAAAAA!!!!!!!
At various points I would walk from the living room to my room, passing the kitchen in the mean time and I would catch a whiff of something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I didn’t like it. At some point in the afternoon this pasty land whale sat in the living room on one of my couches, and when she descended as did the foul smell that was in tow from her toes. OMG that shit right there, that shit right there made me escape my own living room. I don’t know if escape rooms are that easy but spoiler alert that day it was. To add insult to injury this bulbous blob big bitch took the top to one of my pots, which I didn’t realize until a few weeks later.
OMG Jano, how could you say all this?
Because it actually happened, spoiler alert.
Other than the stinky gender bent version of Blob, the day was pretty chill. Not gonna lie at some point I was thinking I need you niggas to get the fuck out of my house. If I didn’t have to work early it wouldn’t be such an issue, but 336 am comes early sadly. UGH.
The whole thing ended around 11ish. They left the house in the same manner they found it clean…minus the top of my pot. I feel like Captain Ahab and hunting me a fucking whale.
Dear White people, don’t pollute houses with your unclean appendages and steal shit like your fucking ancestors did.
ANYWAY.
For a description and a trailer of the movie which called Fat Henry, click here. To see some of the behind the scenes images go here.
Not gonna lie, I had no idea what was this movie was about even though it was being filmed in my house.
The frigid season of winter is damn near, but it already feels like the bottom of a frozen ocean. FUCK MAN. So far the only good thing that has happened this month is that I got to see Incubus in concert.
YEET.
At various points before they started playing I thought how I wish Gym Class Heroes was still a thing like Incubus, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco and everyone else. Can someone make this a thing.
Please.
Anyway, honestly this is gonna be a brief and easy issue. And by brief and easy I mean itisn’t dramatic as fuck as much as my other issues about my art journey. Thats right this issue will be inadvertently family friendly for the holidays.
One blazing as fuck summer day this summer, one of my friends texted me saying that she wanted to do pictures of her son. That sounds doable. We started discussing slave schedules and locations. She texted me a location that she saw on her mail route, but was open for other locations. Since data limits were a thing for me this year, I waited til I got home to google the area.
Not gonna lie, I wasn’t impressed…at all.
And I told her that. I suggested Freedom Park the same place where I shot (Insert issue link here) since 1.It actually has more visually as opposed to an open grass field with a raggedy ass swing that the original park had and 2. It would be more for her son to interact with.
She was down for it. We set a date for a Friday afternoon in August. I left the cotton field, grabbed a sandwich from Harris Teeter and headed to the park.
I told ya’ll this is a really simple story.
I waited for her to arrive. She called me at some point because she wasn’t sure of the area. Eventually she showed up and we walked into the park.
Remind me to never to do a photoshoot of a child after picking cotton all day.Lil dude was an energy dynamo, like Finn from Adventure Time. On god nigga, On god. I was struggling to keep up, but I took solace in the fact how much I was gonna pass out when I got home.We were there for 2 hours at best, and we dispersed to separate paths and life.
See like I said this a real simple issue. To see the jubilation of my friends child click here.
Anyway this is probably gonna be last issue of the year. I had hoped to release another one before the year was out, but the way my slavery schedule is looking and the physicallimits of this human vessel I inhabit that may not happen.
UGH
Hopefully I can, but spoiler alert don’t hold your breath.
Hopefully 2020 I will accomplish more of my goals on my journey. To be honest I am so disappointed with myself. I still have 2 stones left that have yet to acquire. If you have been paying attention to these issues and know about Thanos, I really appreciate ya’ll I do. If not well, go back and do some reading.
Need some guidance on stone journey? Well here ya go the stones I collected purple, pink, blue and green. Honestly the other issues I released this year were just, well for a lack of better words filler issues.
*shrugs*
As far as my comic saga Azure Ascendance, Man I’m so irked that I didn’t get as far as I wanted. Real shit this job exhaust the shit out of me, a nigga just wants to color like its 2016, that’s it. And ya know eventually get it animated on a streaming service,
Thats it.Ya know simple things.
Spoiler Alert, depending on how the next few months go will determine if I will be releasing issues monthly as I have the past few years. I’m literally all caught up in my photo journey after the next issue.
Yea…
Hail to the Guardians of WatchTower
Sun, Moon, star, north, south, east and west.
Osiris my king
Hekate my queen
Let 2020 be a more productive year for my photography. Let me acquire the last 2 stones, as well the other shoots that I want to do.Free me from this current cotton field and please let me be able to workon my comic series, Azure Ascendance and release issues on a more steady rate. While eventually working toward a way to get my series animated in the way I imagine.
First and fucking foremost, I am legit upset that I didn’t get superpowers from this spider bite on my leg. The only thing I got is 1. immense fragging pain 2. probably a huge bill for going to the Emergency Room for the first time in years, and 3. I didn’t get to wear my Vegeta costume that I ordered for Halloween last year, but didn’t arrive until after aforementioned Holiday because I was passed out in pain. NO NIGGA WE AIN’T YEETING HERE.
Maybe later in this issue but at this current point, nope this is a yeet free zone.
Anyway.
So for those who have not been paying attention on any of my social media channels and never clicked on my about me page. The picture above is of me, and I just did my first art show. I know right I am a pretty dude, and thank youuuuuu.
The lead up to this was legit unexpected but deeply appreciated it.
Side note, to avoid the excessive use of pronouns I will be referring to some people by their IG names.
So September day whilst I was picking cotton, well making sure the cotton was up to par before it got sent out to random cunts who I’ll probably never meet. One of the field slaves I shuck and jive with, PurpleKloudz, randomly started talking, ya know about anime, art, dreams to be chased and nigga shit. He was telling me how one of his goals was to be in an art show before the year is over, I was like yooooo go ahead and follow your dreams. As the convo went on,I found out it was an anime and art show that he was going to be in.
Hold up, I like anime and I’m an artist. The voices of my ancestors told me I needed to be part of this. Spoiler Alert, When the voices of your ancestors speak you listen, always.
I asked him for more details and how I could be a part of it, he said he would talk to our other slave we shuck and jive with for the scraps master give us, JohnnyLovely.
Look I get it, I am laying it on thick with the slave cotton field references, but I legit work in a plantation that contains majority cotton so I am allowed to say these things. Hella allowed, especially since this is my damn site.
Anyway.
So at some point after a day of picking cotton, me and both of the aforementioned fellow slaves had a nerd gathering in the parking lot. Thats where it went down. YEET YEET.
JohnnyLovely told me about how this is the second anime and art show that his friend was having. I asked could I show any of my pieces, and he was like ummmm idk. Fuck it, I’ll try anyway and I did. He gave me the information of the person who was orchestrating the event. I sent him the links to all of my galleries, ALL of my galleries. Need a reminder, no problem. Starting from oldest to the most recent we have Miasmic Emancipation, Velvet Sweaters,Numinously Noir, Emerald Evisceration and oh yeah my house party invites just for good measure.
And he said I was in. YEET YEET NIGGA. Actually Yeet didn’t really do justice for how excited I was, especially when you hear people saying you shouldn’t draw the things you draw. Well fuck you naysayers, especially those I am genetically linked to.
The next step was to choose which images I wanted to display. Eventually I chose the 3 below.
Yep that last one was def chosen. Not gonna lie the process was hard. When it was all said and done,I hit up one of my friends I use to pick cotton with at another field a few years ago. I asked him would he mind printing out my images for the show, and he said sure. It was going good but due to the amount of colors I use in my drawings, I kinda killed his blue printhead. Yea, I wasn’t expecting that. So for images 2 and 3, I had to go to Office Max to get those printed out. Pretty sure they were confused and concerned about what I had them make.
As if I give a fuck, Spoiler Alert I don’t.
I got my frames and bam, I was all set.Since I finally got my images printed and frame I could actually start posting ads for it on social media. The last thing I wanted to do was post I was going to be in an art show and not have my stuff ready. The day before I met with the organizer of the show, and briefly dropped off the above pieces along with some small ones I had made when I did the pop art show in 2017. I got home, did my hair because my hair was an arid dry mess, and passed the fuck out.
The day of the show came, and I wish I requested off. I was excited, legit excited as fuck. Me and my girl left the cotton field, grabbed food from Chick Fil A, and went back to my place. I changed first then she did. Joy is when you get to wear a shirt you ordered a month ago for the first time at a kool event that you are in.While she did I meditated, because sometimes you got to do that before something major in your life is about to happen. On the way there I legit was trying to find a song to amp me, this is the bad thing about primary listening to somber music. I did find some pleasure in Rapsody’s Nina and Cleo and J.Cole’s Middle Child. In hindsight I wish I remembered Awerooh’s- Its My turn now, that was my shit, 3 years ago when I was developing my website.
Eh, maybe next time.
We got to Camp North End, did a brief photoshoot before we headed to the event. Yo, real shit I am legit awkward in front of a camera, I am. Yea I take selfies but full body poses aren’t a thing I’m use to doing, even though I tell others what to do when I am behind the lens. The event didn’t start until 7, but I wanted to be there to see the set up process and place flyers for my site, and a copy of my book series for people to view.
The night flew by after that honestly. Lush Lofi flowed in the background,feeling as if I was in an episode of Samurai Champloo. Her and I walked around for a while at some point we saw our fellow slaves who were also having their art exhibited, the one’s told me about the show. As the night went on, I was both the subject and the usual detached observer while I took photos of the event. Its a weird feeling since I am never am the subject of an event.
I promise sometimes I feel like I am the unborn child of Samantha White and Lionel Higgins from Dear White People.
Our other slave friends showed up, and we were all like AWWW SHIT NIGGA. She helped get people to look at book, Yaaaaaaas honey Yaaaaaaas. In case anyone hasn’t noticed I’m shy as shit, so her amping me up defiantly helped my spirit. My friend who printed one of my images came with his wife and daughter, and at some point the 5 of us walked around. Eventually we doubled back to the event and they head out.
Another slave showed up, who I met in an odd way. Well not really odd considered the digital word we live in. We work at the same place, but our first interaction was when she liked a post I did of me starting a book on AfroFuturism by YTasha L. Womack.
I still need to finish that book.
At the time I didn’t know who she was, until one day at work I was stopped and she was like I think I liked your post. Oh shit, wasn’t ready. The convo couldn’t last long because if masta see’s us lil field niggas not picking his cotton we gets in bigs trouble, and we don’t wants no trouble.
But Jano, how is this relevant to the story?
I’m about to get to that, impatient ass.
She showed up with her daughter, and she was thoroughly impressed with the pieces that me and our fellow field slaves had to put up. From the perspective that we had worked hard to create something, and going to the extra effort of making our work being seen to the public something that some people hesitate to do. The fact that the artist space was primarily created by and for black artist thrilled her more. Thrilled her to the point that she felt inspired to do something similar and create an AfroFuturism con here in Charlotte.
Now you get the relevance.
Oh shit, that would be awesome. I’ve been hoping to do shows especially black themed sci fi art shows, it would be an added bonus if there was one here in Charlotte. Hopefully this will manifest into something flourishes, heavily.
The night trickled on, at some point there was a group photo taken of me and the other artist. Still awkward as hell for me to pose, so fucking awkward. After that me and some of the people I pick cotton with went on to go play Cards Against Humanity. I bounced back to the event to get my prints, at some point the dude who organized all this said there would be another one in March. Nigga I’m so down.
And thats it. I was talking with JohnnyLovely a few times before the day of the show. At some point he said a black art renaissance is heading towards Charlotte, and after this I can see it happening. Another conversation, I made reference to Dear White People, how after the Black Face Party there were a series of events that occurred after and it affected everyone differently. My ancestors say that both of our feelings are accurate. Was this event an adequate save point and it will propel me into another direction that will benefit me greatly or will I stagnate and float on in a void of despair?
Spoiler Alert, either result will be chronicled here as usual.
Hopefully this clearing will lead to an oasis that splinters many paths of abundance. In the meantime to see photos from the even go here.
Pretty sure this was a big save point in my art journey. Speaking of save points I’m gonna resume from the one in Final Fantasy 7 and hopefully beat it before the year is over. Also next issue we will go back to the regular flowing timeline. This was an omg I need to talk about it now so my spirit can go back to chill mode, and I have.
Yo I think Nigger heat season is officially over, never mind fall started like 2 weeks ago but whatever. Yay for global warming, not really the Earth is fucked.
Anyway as I type this, my homegirl is shooting a movie in my place. We will talk about that later. What I will say about it right now is that someone’s feet is horrendous as fuck and I am so damn over it.
FUCK BRUH! White people don’t be taking care of their feet I promise you, shit be smelling like old corn chips, mildew and expired grease.
DAMN.
Ok, thats enough for now
Anyway.
So this is peaceful issue, and by peaceful I don’t have the urge to cut anyone’s throat. At all.
Spoiler Alert.
So this story starts with a cotton field, the same cotton field that I am unfortunately about to be in for a whole year. Ugh.
Anyway through a series of events, ie our mutual friends who were smart enough to leave this cotton field, me and the model of this issue became close as time went on.
More so over this past summer.
Texting, post cotton field hang outs, and things of that nature. She told me her last birthday was trash on a stick. And since I do that thing called listening, I tried to figure out something to do for her bday that she might actually like.
At first the thought was an art museum, at first.
But at some point I met up with a friend I made at another cotton field. He was paying back for watching over his dog as well as me giving him back the keys to his place. We hang out for a while, since its been a while and we don’t share the same cotton field anymore. Within that time frame he told me about this place called Portal, which is an interactive art gallery.
I googled it and it made a nigga YEET.
August 4th came, and we got ready for the day. She got ready in the dress I got her, she told me not to look as she got ready. That was easy enough. When she came out, I was impressed.
Thoroughly impressed.
So impressed that I actually decided that I thought we could walk around downtown and shoot some images of her.
I wasn’t playing about this being a simple issue, this is an actual easy flowing issue.
We parked in the same parking deck as when I shot Sunday Stroll, the walk is relatively short. The wind burst to her attire were troublesome but it was short lived. Very short lived.
We arrived, if it wasn’t for the sign pointing to it we would have missed it completely. The space was small but effective. Despite what the website when I purchased the ticket there was no allotted time to be there. We could stay as long as we desired, which I’m grateful for because this place was an example of the word dope.
Dope as fuck.
There were at least 6-8 rooms. Within seeing the first two rooms and I asked one of the employees was it cool to go back to my car and get my camera. A few minutes later and it was business time.
Man that last part was corny, but this place was deemed to be worth of talking about on my website. At first glance it was going to be just a camera phone adventure.
Upgrade Motha Fuckaaaaaaa.
Despite the huge amount of selfies she has taken, she has never modeled before. It didn’t show at all. None what so ever. She took directions wonderfully, and improvised parts she wanted to try as well.
I legit like when people who have never modeled before, do a wonderful job on their own. Makes things so much more easier for me. So much.
However, because of mistakes on my part there weren’t as many good shots as there could have been. I totally need to practice in between shoots. The events that happened in this issue occurred in August, and the issue prior was April, before that ummm August 2018.
Yea you get the point.
I asked her would she model for me again, and she said yea. The aspiration is there, maybe I could use her for one of the stones I’m looking for.
Maybe.
MAN I hope so because looking for a model for that project has irked the fuck out of my soul. Ya’ll have no idea how much of an arduous journey that is going to be for me to type. FML with a god damn pig.
Anyway to see the images from her bday present from me. click here.
In other random news because sharing is caring and this is good news on my side of life, I am going to be in my first art show, YEET.
Some fellow slaves I pick cotton with at the same place that allowed this issue to happen told me about it. It will be an art show inspired by anime. Fuck yeah nigga I’m in there like cum in a bellybutton.
But Jano, you mean they saw what you draw and allowed it.
YAAAAAAS,
For those who live in Charlotte, it will be October 25th 7pm-10pm at Camp North End.
Spoiler Alert, I am both pretty as fuck and Awkward as fuck.
Depending on how life goes I may talk about it next issue.
AND
I may be in a RAW artist show on November 20th at the Filmore. That is still in the making, but I just accepted my invite.
My legit goal is to be like the music artist I’ve seen this year (Anderson Paak, Kilo Kish, Marsha Ambrosious , J. Cole, Kota the Friend, Banks, and soon to be Sabrina Claudio and Incubus.) promote art, have people buy said art, get easier to get models, and somehow SOMEHOW get my comic series animated, streamed on popular tv services and reap the seeds of what I sowed. Oh yeah and at some point to open up my own non profit.
Speaking of my comic series, I just off an urge to add a few pages to an issue and redo the cover of the next issue. As far as the actual progress of said AfroFuturism comic series,
SIGH
I legit need a new cotton field to shuck and jive in that doesn’t leave so fucking exhausted. A nigga just wants to color and follow his dreams. Thats all.
Anyway thats it for now, I legit have to get ready for said cotton field. 336 am comes early. If I don’t see you on October 25th, I’ll see you next issue.
Man I actually worked a full summer, that hasn’t happened in years. Def not a fan, even though I did get to do fun things this summer. The price of freedom yields monetary gain for joy. Yay Capitalism…. I suppose.
Anyway.
This another entry in the existential Infinity stone saga that started in the wee early days of 2017. For those keeping up this would be the fourth stone of the arc, 2 more and I’ll have a full set.
Side note, As I type this I am still in search of those two stones. As long as it has taken to get to this point I hope that they are worth it.
MAN, on god nigga, on GOD my nigga this concept was pretty simplistic, it was. But for some reason it took a year and four months to achieve it.
Spoiler Alert.
Who remembers that one part of the mermaid saga when I said I went to go scout Midtown Park for a possible shoot location? Well I am piggy backing off that for this issue. When 2018 started I remembered that location on that aggravating as fuck day. Couple that and the random images I see on the internet from Instagram and Pintrest, an idea gestated in my mind. I decide to do a 90’s era photoshoot.
But Jano that sounds like it would be simple to pull off. Why did it take so long?
Have ya’ll not been paying attention to my life? How often are any of my ideas simple? Exactly. I promise this art journey comes with more side quest than most modern video games. I should have hella trophies unlocked now. Fuck I should have bonus points for cussing anyone out. Wait would I get a trophy for actually loosing my cool? I might go for a trophy next time I get hit with some 1080 HD 4k fuckery.
I was scrolling through my IG timeline and thought to ask this girl I follow and models, who I thought would do it. I had asked her to model for me in 2017, but I didn’t really have an idea in mind unlike this time. I approached her with the idea and the time frame I wanted to do it, Ie when it wasn’t cold as fuck. She was down for it.
YEET.
I wasn’t saying Yeet last year, but I am now, So fuck it. Time travels is a fluid concept.
Eventually I bought an Old school 90’s boombox, ya know the type you would see on TV. The type you can carry on your shoulder and disturb all the peace, but be harmonious to yourself and those who appreciate the genre of music you like. I found some old blank cassette tapes I had in my room from when I use to actually listen to the radio, and record music off.
MAN the nostalgia of simple times, take a nigga back. Not gonna lie tho Spotify is def the best, especially since I can’t stand what is on the radio nowadays.
At this point we are in Mid March. I emailed her asking what songs would she want on the mixtape. I like going for a full effect of what the fuck I am trying to shoot if I can.
Ya’ll bitches be the worse. They do, the absolute fucking worse.
I would email her, and assuming that not everyone checks their mail all the time (even though our initial conversation about what I was trying to achieve with this shoot was via email and she replied, but whatever) I would message her asking if she got my email as a prompt for her to check it. Bitch would leave me left on read, but on god would like all my memes. All of em.
Bitch Whet???
At some point when I attempted to communicate with her, she did reply saying that she hadn’t checked her email. I took a screenshot of the msg and sent it to her via IG DM’s….and still no reply.
FUCK IT.
Just absolute fuck it.
Ya’ll think this is bad, wait til we get the last 2 stones. Oh boy those are true anime arcs, long as fuck. Filled with Daunting moments of existentialism.
Timeline wise we are near the nigger heat summer of 2018. I got laid off from my job, so I was free as fuck. Figured I’d make the best of my time the best I can. It was upsetting because on the photography part of the art journey, you can’t do a photoshoot without a model. And unlike the mermaid saga and the candy queen arc, this wasn’t a difficult concept.
AT ALL.
Summer came and I would fill my days of being laid off of going to restaurants, of stuffing my face, working on acts 3 and 4 of my book, while using their wifi to play hours of music on Spotify. At various points I would have random text conversations with friends.
One friend in particular, I was telling her about the aforementioned events. And she said she would do it. Awe struck I was, especially since she told me can’t be out in the sun for too long. Truthfully I had thought about asking her, but there was reasons I didn’t. Mainly because us hanging out is always difficult, typically the days we have attempted to hang out something always happened. At this point in time, we had only seen each other 2 times….
…and we had known each other for a few years. I know adult friendships are hard but this was final level boss hard.
I knew better, but hoped for the best.
Unfortunately the same patterns repeated themselves. The days when we had made plans to meet up to pick the songs for the mixtape, something drastic came up on her end. And at some point I stopped hearing from her for a while, found out who later on why which has no bearing on the rest of this issue.
Again this project was dead in the water. I kept searching, and eyeballing people of who I would want to do this. Eventually I started working a new job in October and 2018 ended and 2019 arrived.
Now we are getting to the climax of this story.
At some point in the cotton field I became cool with one of the fellow slaves. Due to the weekend shift being dissolved, her and a few others were now part of my shift. As time went on I noticed she had a 90s aesthetic. I figured maybe I should ask and see would she model for me.
So one February day in the cotton field I asked.
She seemed squeamish to the idea, but gave me her email anyway so I could give her all the details of what I am trying to do for the project. She told me she would give it some thought, I was like Koolio beanzo.
However, *deep sigh*
Her started to get complicated for various reasons which I don’t feel like typing. But emotionally she was starting to go through it. The tiny part of me that is humane thought it would be in bad taste to ask her about it.
I promise this could have been so simple, but was like Nah Nigga.
Anyway, One week I saw an art event on Facebook about Art, Beer and Chicken. And this nigga likes chicken and art.
Spoiler Alert.
Friday came, and I made an effort to stay awake post cotton field. If I passed out like I usually do I would have not made there at all. I got there and legit didn’t plan on seeing anyone I know at all. I didn’t. Social skills was not a thing I was planning on using that night.
Ironically enough I did.
At some point I went to the restroom, came back and while I was waiting in line there was a girl ahead of me in line. I recognized the green hair and the pointy cat ear frames, internally I was like I think thats a person I follow online. And it was.
You know how you what if scenarios play in your head? Well sometimes I have ones where I’m out and someone who follows me online sees me and they go OMG you are so kool, nice to meet you, you are hilarious as fuck. Well thats what happened.
We catch eyes and she starts talking to me, and me being the awkward, tired person I am finds myself in a scenario I legit never thought was gonna happen especially since I didn’t think I would run into anyone that night. Oh irony. We talk for a few mins, goes off to grab some food and thats it for our interaction for the night. I see her with 2 other people, but don’t go over to them because I legit didn’t wanna be a odd as fuck spare wheel who is socially awkward. At some point I leave to go home and pass out, but before I do send her a message sorry if I came off awkward as fuck. She said it was kool, she thought she was awkward and I was like nah you were ok.
Awww tender moments.
Ironically enough, I ran into her the next day at Abari’s block party and it was like we were friends from 10 years ago. It was me, her, the two guys I saw her with last night and my homegirl. It was a pretty chill day. At some point I started to think maybe she would model for me.
The following week I asked my aforementioned coworker when did she want to work on her mixtape. Man the apprehension and nervous on her face was all the answer I needed, and after a discourse she told me my least favorite words when it comes to a photoshoot.
I’ll let you know.
Essentially those words are nails in a coffin for me, because no one ever lets me know shit. Spoiler Alert, its several months later and I still have not been let known anything. I decide to message my recent internet friend to real life friend, and she said would totally be down.
YEEEEEET!!!!
HOLY FUCK, THE YEEET I FELT DEEP IN MY HEART. The ball started rolling finally. Something that should have happened last fucking spring finally was happening.
We started an email correspondence, of what songs she would want on the mixtapes, when each of us would be free, and what not. Her playlist was crack on a stick. I somehow downloaded all the songs from Spotify using some program, and the transferred them to a cassette tape.
Kinda.
The transfer didn’t go as smooth as I had planned. First I had to order a new flash drive because my kool Transformer Ravage one fragged out on me. Even after that I didn’t get the order of the songs arranged like I thought. And for some reason the last 30 secs to minute of the song would abruptly cut off, which was really fucking odd considering the songs were downloaded in full.
Odd, but not odd enough for me to sweat it. We chose Easter Sunday to do the shoot. As excited as I was, I was also nervous as fuck. To be honest I was nervous that it would be a repeat event of Incandescent Spirits, where I had acted like I never held a camera before Plus this was the first photoshoot Ive done since August 2018.That was humiliating for me and I didn’t want that to occur again. At any costs. As usual I spent the day mentally preparing how I wanted this to go down. I had recently scouted the area again, since the last time I was there was August 2017.
She and her boyfriend arrived, which was kool because he helped carry some of the things that were brought. Oh I forgot to mention, she had never modeled before which really didn’t matter because she did a great job. She had made a comment how she hated how she looks in photos, and then I showed her and she was like well damn.
Not to be cocky, but thats usually the reaction when I show people photos of them. Nice how I make people believe in themselves….even though I am a legit asshole.
As the shoot went on we laughed each time a song ended abruptly, not gonna lie it was hilarious and annoying when it was a song we all really liked. At some point we called it quits for various reasons. She was exhausted from her job which I totally understood, and there was a still a good amount of the park to shoot. Plus there were other areas we had to skip over because people were shooting there already. And she wanted to do her make up better than she had for today. We ended it for the day, and did the 2nd half a week later.
MAAAAN Listen. She came out her car looking like Rachel True from The Craft and I won’t mad at it. At all. We did the rest of the park with no problems.
Wait, no there was a problem. So at some point this random old white man, who we presumed was homeless and drunk. Decided to piss in the area where we are shooting.
NIGGA!, There is a whole park for you to piss in and you chose the area where we are. Smells like racism and expired Budweiser. Cunt.
And after that I fulfilled my promise of feeding her when it was over. She originally wanted to go this sushi restaurant, but at some point we were talking about how I went to this Ecuadorian restaurant that my friend took me to while I was in Raleigh J.Cole’s Dreamville festival which led us to Viva Chicken. OMG blessed be Viva Chicken and the purple and yellow sauce.
YEET NIGGA YEET.
Also Dreamville Festival is where I heard the word Yeet. It was during J.Cole’s performance, and at some point after he performed Middle Child this white girl yelled it and it has been part of lexicon ever since. Damn White girls.
Anyway to see the images from this shoot that honestly should have taken this damn long go here.
With this the 4th stone was collected. Green did infect beat gold after all.
Don’t ask.
Anyway I legit just spent a good while typing this, and I’m all typed out plus hungry for some chicken.
Until next time.
2 stones left.
UGH.
On another note, my goal is to finish Final Fantasy 7 this month and finish Grave Destiny by Kalayna Price. Since ya know they should have been done along time ago.
This has been a sporadic and slaveful as summer,at least for me. FUCK. Kanye West Spaceship is legit playing both in my head and on my Spotify Can my Azure Ascendance spaceship come in and so I can fly away and do art things instead.
Anyway.
This saga actually isn’t complicated, compared to some of the others I’ve shared. Its just more so a matter of waiting.
It literally started Spring 2017 with a white girl.
But Jano, how did it go from white girl to your friend we have seen model for you 3 times who clearly isn’t white?
Well if you shut the fuck up you will find out :).
At some point in Spring 2017 when I was unemployed as fuck, yep that unemployment streak that started January 2016. MAN that was an arduous time.
Anyway.
I random white girl followed me on IG. At the time I was not posting anything on any social media platform. At the time my mindset I wasn’t gonna post anything until I got a full time job finally…
HA I was foolish.
Anyway because of that some of the most recent things I posted were photos of cosplay images. She DM’d me saying she would like to do a cosplay shoot, and me at the time who has not done one yet was down.
What followed was a series of events that made me more so loose patience with humanity, more so.
For those who weren’t paying attention, I wasn’t employed at the time.Employment didn’t happen until mid April and lasted until Early June. Followed by me being unemployed for 2 weeks, working for a month, then unemployed again until September. All of which, except for the 1st weekend of new slavery, I had the weekends off.
I would hit her up multiple times, and yet despite it being her idea she was never available. I appreciated her actually replying but at the same time I was irked. From the time period of Mid July to September, asking became ridiculous. She would tell me that she had alot going on, but then her IG stories would have a caption of going to meet a photographer. Days later it would be photos up of her in the outfit from the IG stories from said photographers.
Ya’ll listen, the older I get the less fucks I give.
Spoiler Alert.
I’m not gonna continue to chase people down for something that was their idea. I’m not.That mindset translate into a lot of things these days. I don’t have the time nor patience from it.
If you have an idea that you want done, and you don’t make an effort to make it happen. I.E. if I keep asking and the only thing you tell me is you’ll let me know, I’ll let it go.
During the mermaid saga when I finally had my model solidified. I told my homegirl about the aforementioned treachery, and she told she would do a cosplay photoshoot for me.
So let me publicly gush for once. She is legit my favorite model out of all the people I worked with.
Spoiler Alert.
She is, she drove down to help me out multiple times to help me fulfill my art dreams and was willing to do it again. I’m sorry none of you others can compare to her at all. Some of you may be mad, but I don’t give a fuck. If I actually get to shoot any of them more than once for another idea of mine I will be surprised. So to my homegirl I want to say you are the best, and I’m glad we met at that winter comic convention in 2013. Whenever I see you again I owe you food for all the times you helped when I was unemployed, plus you left your brush here.
Tender moments are over.
Back to this journey.
Even though she had agreed to help me out, it wasn’t that a simple thing. No major reason, just schedule conflicts. We both were working retail, and even when my schedule switched to weekend availability in the Spring of 2018 she still wasn’t able to make it down. Which sucked because I did have an idea to do it during the Spring while the trees were blooming new leaves for the year after a frigid callous winter.
Eventually August 2018, it happened after the original agreement was formed in September 2017. The day came and she arrived at my house, it took a minute before we actually did the shoot. I was recovering from a lush filled night, ironically enough when I did the masquerade shoot it was the day after I drank on a Sunday in August too.
Eh.
She prepared herself make up wise, while I got my equipment ready. I drove to downtown where I envisioned this happening. The weather was perfect, as in I didn’t have to worry about her dying from heat exhaustion. It was a cloudy chill day so neither of us would sweat our spirits away.
Nothing extraordinary happened. She knew more about the character than I do, so my usual look at Pintrest for posing ideas was useless. The only other things that happened was that children thought that she was kool and wanted pictures with her. There was this one nigga, who was exactly that a nigga. I regret letting him take a photo with her, his last words were that picture will get ya’ll famous.
Negro please I didn’t even edit that nonsense.
I reject thou niggatry with the greatest power of the force.
Anyway.
We ended the shoot since she hadn’t eaten all day. We had talked about doing a night shoot but that didn’t happen. Partially because I was afraid it would be a repeat of what happened in Incandescent Spirits, the other half was because niggas were tired as fuck. OMG, I really need to start stretching before I shoot people I do.
At any rate, we went to get something to eat. She introduced me to Poke’bowls and Poke’ Burritoes. OMFG, they are so great. Blessed Be Korean food. We went back to my house and hung out, while she played her favorite songs.
Ugh, I just remembered how she played that foolishness of Kanye West Lift Yourself…OMG. I legit didn’t think it was him, and I’m upset I heard it.. A far from cry from Spaceship I mentioned earlier.
Someone save Kanye from Kanye
SMH.
At any rate to see the images from that day click here.
On another note, this is actually the photoshoot I did of 2018. Not by choice, not by choice at all. As far “Infinity Stones” go, at this point I have 3 of the 6 I am determined to get. Other shoots were supposed to happen, but ya know life and peoples fickleness.
Moral of the story, Don’t trust white girls who slide and your DM’s. As well don’t chase anyone down when it is their idea.
Next issue will take place in 2019. I am almost caught up with time…or something…whatever…..
Spiderman on Ps4 is a great game, I haven’t beaten it at all but I like what I’ve done so far. I def need to finish Final Fantasy 7 before I fully emerge myself into this masterpiece.
Speaking of Masterpieces
I’m finally releasing Azure Ascendance Issue 2.
YEET.
But Jano why the delay?
Yea well a lot of things, but thats not really important, ie I don’t feel like typing all that. I will say that I can finally afford the copyright for this issue. Point of the story is that I am releasing the next chapter of my saga which I conceived in the demon year of 2016.
At any rate lets dive into Issue 2.
Watatsumi and other members of the Posei Kingdom recover in the hideout of their unknown masked assailant. As they wonder how they will save Princess Yosei, threats loom within the enemy camp that threaten her life. Will the Posei Kingdom be able to save her in time? Or will Yosei fall prey to more anguish than she has already experienced?
I’m so excited to put the next issue out, I hoping to go at a faster rate. But fuck adulthood and having a job. I wonder is this how TeamFourStar feels when they produce videos.
Anyway to see a preview page, go here. And to actually purchase the issue venture forth to Amazon here.
And with that being said we now go back to our regular scheduled program. In the meantime I’ll be web slinging my spirit away or maybe I’ll finally finish Final Fantasy 7 so that I can enjoy Spiderman without wondering can I beat Sephiroth.
Sidenote, Fuck the whole PDF process that I have to go through to create this issue. The admin process is literally the worse.
Frag this shit, but at the same time I am glad to have it ooze out like juice out of a vagina.
Moist as fuck.
*Crosses Fingers that this gets me closer to having it animated on a streaming services, so I can stop working cotton fields that don’t feed my soul.
I know I said this at the beginning of my summer issues last year, but nigga its hot. Full Nigger heat is in effect, its more so aggravating since I can actually afford to use my ac this year and the shit is broke. American Home Shield is literally pissing me the fuck off.
Anyway. Let me not be a literal heated black man right now, at least one damn regard.
So this is one of those special issue things that wasn’t in the forecast for this year, but it is here now so fuck it.
To be honest this isn’t my first time going to ConCarolinas.
Sorta.
The first time I went was in 2014 but only for the room parties in the Hilton Hotel that it was being hosted at. I had no idea the con existed at all. I saw some other friends and made one I still talk to. While I was with them I saw George RR Martin, also didn’t know at the time who the fuck he was. But my friends did and they were like OMG thats the guy who made Game of Thrones, meanwhile I hadn’t heard of that either. Look Niggas I live in cave, is that established now? Good.
The next time I went was last year for the same reason. But this year it was for the actual con.
My favorite and only actress friend England Simpson, hit me up about having a guest pass and of course I was like Yasss, I’m so down. The day came and figured it would be a to wear my new DBZ Freeza Saga shirt. Yes I spell Freeza’s name that way and not Frieza the Amerikkka way.
Stay woke.
Anyway I arrive at the Con and I try to figure out where is my VIP pass that would have me feeling like a boss. I call her to let her know that I was in the building as I scoured around the venue. Side Note a pass really isn’t necessary at all, security was pretty lax to the point of non existence. But I’ll take that VIP Pass to feel like my Black Life Matters for once.
While I’m waiting for her, I overheard a group of people say her name. Usually I pay no mind to others conversations but for some reason I was like Huh, did someone say the name of my homegirl?
Not sure why I did that, but whatever. They were trying to remember her full name and I filled in the blanks. I introduced myself and then kept walking around because I am so awkward as fuck for no reason.
At some point I saw one of my homeboys who has a Guardian of Geekery podcast. Literally haven’t seen or talked to him in a year because adult friendships are hard kids. Spoiler Alert.
England came down shortly after, we got my badge and just walked around the venue. She spoke to other con goers and they were impressed by the panel she did the night before. From the sound of it I missed out, yay cotton field exhaustion causes me to miss out on all the kool things. We checked out the dealers room, saw the R2 D2 unit we saw last year.I asked her to take a picture of it with me. YEET.
The day went on as her, her family and I walked around until it was time to be part of a panel discussion. Also side note at this point I started to get hungry, so I started to zone in and out of life while planning of what I wanted to put in my mouth.
The first panel was about the adversity they have faced while attempting to be casted in films and such. Side note in case you haven’t paying attention England was the only black woman on the panel, everyone else white, white, white with sprinkles, white with wrinkles, and all white with privilege. Personally I was hoping for that Childish Gambino Stay woke ballad playing as they were illuminated by her truth, but instead they attempted to use their rationale to explain why things occurred the way they do.
Some white people can understand Namekian, Dothraki, Klingon, and R2D2’s native tongue but can’t understand white privilege at all.
Anyway, my hunger consumed me more and I mentally checked out of this underwhelming discussion. We left to go grab food and at some point some random person waved and I was like um me. It was one of those random people I spoke to earlier. The bad thing is I legit introduced myself to this girl, but never solidified her face in my head. Not gonna lie, didn’t think I was gonna see her again.
She was sitting with her mother and they reveled they were looking for her. The mother told her you have the full rights to illuminate her audience with what you have been through, regardless if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not since the people who gave you those experiences didn’t care for your comfort. Meanwhile I talked to aforementioned daughter about her personal journey in film, all while being hungry as fuck.
Look I’m sorry, but I was hungry as fuck ok. Having a convo while my brain saying feed me nigga feed me, is impressive.
Anyway fast foward, they exchanged contact info and recently met up to talk about stuff and thangs which hopefully have a ripple effect for all parties involved. Especially me since I kinda am the reason they met.
YAAAAAAS. Go Jano Go.
Anyway we ate from this food truck, and then we attended another panel that was about Microfilm. Annnnnnd…
Yea no lie, I wasn’t paying that much attention. Sooooo *hits fast foward button.
*Stops cassette.
Ok and that was pretty much it con wise. England was exhausted meanwhile I was still kinda awake. I took my equipment to my car and decided to check out this party this girl told me about during the con.
Ya’ll listen. I have been to lots of white parties in my day.Lots of them, but this was the first one where I heard my ancestors go
Nigga get out.
And I learned when the voice of your ancestors tell you to leave, you get the fuck out. Flashes of the episode of Dear White People when Reggie almost got killed came to mind and yea I couldn’t shake that. So I left.
The first year where I didn’t attend the hotel parties but the actual con.
Anyway to see the images from that day click here.
Before we get back to our regular scheduled program of Jano’s Photo Journey there is another issue coming this month.
Spoiler Alert, it has been a long time coming.
Anyway thats it for now, I gotta do my hair.It is a dry fucking mess, my ancestors would not be proud.
Also since Black Mermaids are trending, go check out my mermaid saga. Especially if you aren’t out here looking ridiculous saying that mermaids can’t be black.
Damn its that time of year again. Time for that nigger heat, the heat that oppressed my ancestors my ancestors in the times of slavery.
FUUUUCK!!!!!
*deep breath
So this issue is a lengthy one. Longer than the mermaid saga. This saga started September 2017 and ended June 2018.
Riiiiight.
So we are gonna skip how I don’t know how I feel about the series finale of Game of Thrones. Thats who rules over Westeros?? Never would have thought, even though apparently there were signs according to all the recent theories Google feels the need to suggest to me.
Anyway, make sure your wifi is on for this. It is a whole anime arc.
The saga of the summer projects ended, and the feeling was comparable to how the calm after big anime boss battles. Need examples that put your favorite heroes through hell, sure. Togoru, Sensui, Freeza, Majin Buu, The Dark Moon Clan, Lady Debonair, Mistress 9, Doflamingo, Apocalypse, Thanos, The Night King,Shredder (Not the 1990’s cartoon one, he was a joke), need I go on.
Niggas were exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was over the whole model search and legit just wanted to chill, finish act 2 of my book series, play video games and beat my meat in bliss. Ya know simple shit.
That legit didn’t last long.
At some point in September a friend I use to pick cotton with at my least favorite plantation, (Ikea for those who don’t know my life), hit me up. He told me about a girl that he thought would be a good model for me. He sent me her IG profile and I agreed.
Honestly at this point in time I had no idea what I wanted to bring to life, legit didn’t. The only thing saw artistically was inking act 2 of Azure Ascendance, nothing else mattered. Never the less I messaged her and tried to think of a concept and a possible location.
I didn’t have shit. None, No such shit existed.
I would scroll on my IG timelines and would lean toward flowery and Japanese themes. At some point I even went to Plato’s Closet to browse for possible things I may want to use. We would communicate during this process, I know this sounds vague in contrast to my usual vivid details but this part of the saga is a blur to me. Maybe it was because I didn’t have clue where the fuck I was going, or maybe it was because the job I just started after not working for 9 weeks was having me wake up early as fuck to set up for halloween fuckery.
Yay.
But one day I found a path to follow, and man it was a fucking path that will probably take a few hours to type. First google The Black Tape Project, go ahead I’ll wait.
This project has actually been in existence since 2013. When I saw it years ago I thought the concept was pretty kool and wanted to do something similar to it. Legit forgot all about it until one September day when I saw something pop on IG. In that moment abstract ideas I previously had amalgamated into one grand idea.
And when it did she stopped replying to my messages. Of course.
Jano, did you chase her down for this idea?
Nigga fuck no. After the war of summer 2017 my spirit no longer has no urge to chase people down who don’t want to be part of my life or art journey. She got one email to see if she was still down but after that, nah bruh.
So here I was with this idea with no one to shoot it with. Sadly even though I have mostly female friends, I’m pretty sure none of them would be down for me to cover their bodies in ribbons while being naked in front of me. Spoiler Alert, I’m the cutest loser you will ever meet.
So off to craigslist I go.
Again.
UGH,
I knew what I wanted I wanted a brown, dark skin girl with natural hair. Usually I don’t have a preferred genotype for the ideas I’ve done but this time I did. Replies were scarce as fuck. But before we continue can someone tell me why this white woman replied when I clearly stated that I desire the opposite of her. I even had a picture as an example. NIGGGAAAA!!!!
Dear White People, when I say I want a brown skin female you don’t meet the requirements. Your basic Becky aesthetic can be taken elsewhere.
Anyway at some point that fall I considered one of my coworkers for the part since met the criteria. Since I got a possible model for this project I started the how the fuck am I going to pull this off part, because ya know that is important. First, my homegirl who I shot in the park, let me borrow her eldest daughters cotton candy machine. I actually didn’t use since the shoot took longer to do than expected, and I didn’t want stop her from making cotton candy. Second, since my mermaid cosplay friend, knows the way of cosplay culture I asked her what can I use to adhere ribbons to the skin that won’t cause any type of discomfort. She told me of a spray that I found in hobby lobby one day post cotton field. I tried it on myself while shopping, yea that shit stuck.
I had told my coworker that I needed to get her measurements and I needed to test the spray on her. We attempted to make plans for this to happen, did it tho? Nah, not at all. After several attempts I said fuck it, especially since she told me she had gotten a second job, and ironically the days we planned on something came up.
Spoiler Alert, I’m so over that happening in all avenues of my life.
At this point it is December 2017, and the idea of shooting someone outside who was only ribbon cladded was as dead as the flowers I hoped to capture as a backdrop in this saga. Plus not gonna lie I’m not a cold weather person, not all….unless I’m getting paid. So figured I’d aim to do the shoot in the spring.
The way my life goes it would probably be spring when I found someone.
The search continued. I thought I found a potential one but of course she fizzled out of existence too, honestly there isn’t a point in bringing her up. Another friend who I met during the the mermaid saga, was interested but decided against it for reasons I’m not mad at.
If you give me a legit reason why you don’t want to do a shoot, opposed to just vanishing out of my life after saying you were down I won’t cast stones. Its only when you ghost me do I throw stones, salt, shade and sarcasm. All the painful S’s. Especially if you don’t reply to my message but like my fucking post on social media.
Fast forward to March 2018. One of my homegirls who I shucked and jived with at the plantation wanted to get dinner, we met at Zoe’s Kitchen and talked about how our lives were going. I told her about the shoot I was trying to do, and asked did she have any friends that I may want to shoot for it. She pulled out her phone and showed me her coworker…OMG.
Nigga, I was floored. She was gorgeous, I told her I want her for my bday (no literally my bday was coming up soon) she would be a great gift so I could end this search. She told me she would ask her and man this mystic hybrid was hopeful as fuck. The next time I saw her was at my bday party the following week, and her friend was down.
YAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Blessed Be!! Hail to the guardians of the watch tower.
I got her contact info, and we set up a meeting sometime during the following week.
Real Shit she was kool as fuck. I told her the whole project and was excited. She told me she never modeled before aside from this one thing at college where she was essentially the token black person on the college brochure. I took her measurements, and told her as it warmed up we could start thinking about a date. In the meantime I asked what her favorite type of candy was and liquor choices. She told me gummy bears and was down for any type of spirit consumption. As spring approached I bought a candy dish and a fan off Amazon. In May we met at Hobby Lobby one day post cotton field to see if the ribbons I wanted to use would be a good contrast on her. They won’t. The original intent was pastel colors but they appeared more sheer than anything. I chose 2 variations of the pink and purple I desired.
Side note, I like how after I actual found someone who I wanted and they solidified that they were down things flowed effortlessly.
When we got in the parking lot we talked about a date. She had told me that every Saturday in June she would be off in addition to the Tuesdays she is normally allotted off. We picked the Tuesday the 3rd week of June, and that Saturday as the back up date. In the meantime, my jobs project had ended and I began my 4 months of unemployment.
Not gonna lie,I legit kinda miss being unemployed. All I did was draw, chase my art dreams, eat and sleep in late. Sucks I couldn’t afford to turn on my a/c but I survived….somehow.
Anyway, at some point I fashioned a floral crown from supplies from Party City and Dollar Tree. Yay for the crown making experience points I gained during the mermaid epic. But the cape was a whole different thing. Spoiler alert, I don’t know how to sew, at all. Yay for my homegirls who told me about Hem tape and my cosplay friend who told me about chiffon because my cape may have not existed at all. Rigging the ornament of the cape was the hardest part. As the date came closer she bought a pair of shoes that were way better than anything I could have imagined.
The week came of the shoot FINALLY. OMFG, this took forever. If you think reading this was arduous try living it. That Monday I had called Mcgill Rose Garden to see that there were no events occurring the following day. This garden is legit kool as shit, however it is only open for a few hours a day and it is a popular place people like to have events. The last thing I need is for the background to be loaded with gawking people. That is way more editing than I prefer to do.
They told me no, so the rest of the day I spent buying gummy bears, making a new version of Jano Juice, buying a glass royalty would use and image training on how I wanted the shoot to go and hoped the awkward loss of words that occurred a few weeks prior wouldn’t repeat itself. At some point that night she called me to tell me that we couldn’t do the shoot the next day for a very good reason, her period came.
But Jano why does that matter?
Spoiler Alert, she is going to only be wearing ribbons. Only Ribbons. Pretty sure a females menstrual cycle involves light and heavy blood flow. And from what I heard the first few days are the heaviest, and the last thing that is desired is blood oozing from her while shooting. That is a whole lot of discomfort for her that can be avoided if we rescheduled. So we did for that Saturday. What is a few days compared to several months?
The day before I walked the venue again since I haven’t been there in months, and did the whole visualization thing. My only other hope was that the cops wouldn’t be called on us, that was def a thing last summer. Black people were getting the policed called on them for simple things like living, pretty sure someone would do it if they saw a black girl wearing only ribbons being shot by black photographer with a Black Dynamite Afro for following his dreams if they had the chance. On god my anxiety was high as fuck the night before.
Anyway, the morning came and I did not hear anything from her around the time we were supposed to meet up. My mind started to swell with fear and a million thoughts raced through my head. Was all this for nothing? Would she vanish on me like other models have the past few months? Fuck am I just trash to be thrown away so easily after all?
And those were only the nice thoughts.
I was having another existential crisis similar to what I had the past few months while trying to do other photoshoots, that to this day I still haven’t done 2 of the desired ones. Nigga its June 2019 still have yet to be done, the two aforementioned shoots were conceived October 2017 and January 2018. NIGGA!! A myriad of thoughts clenched my throat leaving me grasping for air, hoping to not drown in an ocean of depression again.
Yea I’m real fucked up and have a trash complex. Yay for conditioning.
Hold on, Let me breath.
FUCK.
I texted her hoping she had just overslept for good reason, and that was the case. The deepest sigh of relief came from me. But we only a had a few hours that the garden would be open. The goal was to be there by the time it opened, mainly to avoid human background traffic. Plus it would be less hot as fuck earlier in the morning, it would still be hot as fuck but not less as fuck. The place opened at 10, and that is when she got to my house around that time. She got to my place, stripped and I applied the ribbons as hastily as I could. There wasn’t any major issues, other than the adhesive getting stuck to me sometimes. I stuck to my design as much as I could, the application wasn’t as neat as desired but I knew I could fix it in photoshop. We got to the venue around 12ish, the place closes at 3.
Luckily barely anyone was there, the few that were there observed proper etiquette of staying the fuck out of our way. I poured her Jano Juice Volume 3 for effect, nice to know I can make good mixed drinks. If this art journey fails maybe I’ll be a bartender. I told her to channel the royal, bad and boujee side she keeps locked away. And she did successfully and elegantly. For someone who never modeled before she did a legit good job. It was worth the wait, of course I would prefer if my ideas didn’t take months to fucking flourish but whatever.
Anyway to see the culmination of my 10 month journey, go here.
*deep breath
That is the end of this epic, I would say saga but I feel epic is more appropriate given the length of time it took to do this. It damn near equated to a whole school year. Since this ribbon concept worked, hopefully I can do it again in another shoot. But will I? No seriously, I have no idea. I def want to but these model searches are so fucking taxing. If you are interested email me, with photos of yourself and please be in Charlotte, N.C.
Moral of the story; keep in touch with your friends from the cotton field they may help you follow your dreams.
Or something, infer what you want from this. Or not. I don’t care.
Thats it for now, I’m going to do something that doesn’t involve typing a narrative for 4 hours, like rewatch Durarara for the fourth time and getting for ConCarolinas.
Before we start can we talk Avengers End Game, like holy fuck. I won’t post spoilers, but damn my heart. Thanos was still slapping people with his big purple dick one year later. Then 2 days later I saw the Battle at Winterfell on Game of Thrones….NIGGA!!!! I was not ready for how that episode ended, at all. I need to rewatch this show when it is over in a few weeks because there is so much I don’t remember, like why the fuck The Night King was searching for Bran.
Anyway.
Ok so this actually a legit chill ass issue.
It is. There is no crisis, long search for a model, prop preparation, location search. None of the things that ya’ll have gotten accustomed to my issues is here.
None, no such dilemmas exist.
Thats next issue.
Spoiler Alert.
Its honestly comparable to one of those feel good stories episodes you see in a show after a vail of fog has been lifted and you see holes of light poking through illuminating the cast.
This issue is a continuation of this one, kinda. My homegirl from college recently surprised me with the fact that she was pregnant when I came to take pictures for their house unveiling for social media. This was in April 2018, this issue takes place June 2018.
She invited me to her gender reveal party, and obviously I went. I didn’t have to take my camera but I took my camera. Force of habit, plus since I was unemployed I had to give some type of gift and pictures of this big moment seem appropriate. For me this was an event like all the ones I attended when I volunteered at non profits and interned at church. Plus considering I barely I knew anyone there beside my homegirl, her husband and my one of our friends from our UNCG college days being occupied by my camera kept me from being completely awkward. I legit can’t contribute to conversations about stable jobs, families and having successful side business, I can’t. I know nothing of those lives.
When I wasn’t snapping photos of the event, I was mostly talking to our friend from college about how life has been since I haven’t seen him since December 2014 in Raleigh when I came for the mothers to be bday party. Between our convos there were games of guess the baby food (which seemed disgusting as fuck) and a few other ones.
Eventually we got to the big moment of the reveal, and my spider sense was right. But we will get that in a minute. The rest of the event was pretty chill, eventually everyone left and It was really my friends from college and their lovers as we sat outside and enjoyed a chill June night.
Look I told ya’ll this wasn’t a dramatic issue at all. Pretty relaxed, sometimes issues like this are good for ya, especially me since there is less I have to have PTSD about.
Anyway to see what my homegirl had go forth and click here.
See told ya this was a hella short issue, like hella fucking short. Now next months issue that’s gonna be lengthy, maybe as lengthy as the mermaid issue. In the meantime I’m gonna hopefully watch of all Gundam Iron Blood Orphans, I doubt it will be better than Gundam Wing but we will see. Finish up Naruto Shippuden and the DressRosa Arc of One Piece, I can promise you this I prob will never rewatch Naruto after this week. And work on the photos from the photoshoot I just recently did that I have been trying to do since last year.
The only thing now is to find a model for my Gold Stone Project, UGGGH.
I so legit relate to Thanos these days.
Hybrid Out.
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