Tag Archives: BLERD

Blackity Black Black Black as Fuck Catalogue

02 Tuesday Mar 2021

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Dear Friends of Jano,

Well here we are March 2021, a whole year into a pandemic.

Fascinating.

Terrifying and sobering as well. I’m glad I gave up hope of going to concerts and anime cons again. At this point wondering when this pandemic is going to end is like how many episodes there are left until Namek explodes. Just long as shit for no valid reason.

Anyway.

Time for another care free issue with less drama than any previous issue, Rpg or anime I’ve watched in general.

Side Quest time.

It is weird typing issues like this. But also, Spoiler alert, I’m still in the search of the last 2 “infinity stones” that I began in 2017.

UGH. We can talk about that whenever the fuck I get there….hopefully soon. Watch me finish my comic series and my infinity gauntlet around the same time…prob next year. This is all I live for. Wait, is that why some of ya’ll are still tuning in each month? Am I your new favorite saga, Jano Bizarre’s Art Adventure.

AWWW SHIT NIGGA!!!

Need a reminder of said stones before I continue? Sure take a gander or reminder depending how often you have been to my website. I should name these stones while I’m at, right?

Space stone.

Candy stone.

90s stone.

Blerd stone.

I’ll work on the names later, maybe.

So here we are summer of the trying times of 2020, corona has crippled the world. Literally. Activities are limited, bodies are crippled and demolished by the fiend known as corona. Meanwhile protest for social justice spread like wild fire, since cops seem to literally get away with murder for killing black people.

STILL.

If this sounds like an intro to a dystopian nightmare it is because it was the trying times of 2020, spoiler alert.

I had finished coloring act 2 of my comic series, and decided that my break needed a break. After months of my back curling up like a snail shell design.I decided to focus on helping the nonprofit I am apart of, called Back to Black.

But Jano what is Back to Black?

WELL, essentially it is a non profit organization whose goal it is to help improve the black community. It was started by my friend who I met at UNC Greensboro. One day in Fall 2019 I was picking up an order from her hair and beauty store, because ya know I need to stay pretty and have my curls flowing.

YAAAAAAAAAS.

We decided to get dinner the next day catch up and talk about things, and she told me about her non profit dreams to help the black community. I told her you need to pursue the vision you were given, because if not there is no point in having them.

A month later when we met up for a college friends bday, I found out she added me to her staff. MAN I was not ready, at all. I have non profit experience from the past decade of cotton field experience, but still.

Moral of the Story, sometimes I can be inspiring when I am not talking shit.

Fast forward to last summer, so I guess we are now just…rewinding….wait how does this work?

Anyway. She had planned to do a photoshoot for the clothing line we were launching. The initial goal was to use our fellow staff members, but life was like nah.

Insert me, and having friends. There is a 90s after school lesson somewhere.

I hit up my friend who helped me get the 90s stone….I really need to think of better name for these stones. I asked her would she, her boyfriend and other friends be willing to model for us. The concept was simple, black people living their best life and be unapologetically black. They agreed luckily, because this literally was a last minute thing. We met up at Camp North End under the scorching summer sun. It was a pretty chill event actually….despite the sun emitting full oppression nigger heat.

Like I said this this isn’t a dramatic thing, no long expose’s, no existential dread.None, no such things exist…

In this issue.

We decided to do another one at another time, but in downtown Charlotte a few weeks later.

And that’s it. Fade to black. End scene.

Wait, not yet. But thats all for the events of this issue. To check out the byproducts from the day the sun enter the group chat go forth here. Also check out the music page and CBD hemp store of one of the models.

Ok now we can end scene.

Cap and Gown in Corona World

11 Thursday Feb 2021

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Dear Friends of Jano,

I feel like this is a new concept to me again since I didn’t do this for the bulk of the tragic year of 2020…..which has spilled over to 2021. Spoiler Alert, it looks like coronavirus is gonna be sticking around for a while. UGH.

So bothersome, all of it.

Almost as much as me fucking up my back AGAIN at Cotton field 6.5. So here I lay typing another issues of Jano’s Bizarre Art Adventure with a sharp pain in my side. I can’t Yeet to this shit, I can’t.

This issue is actually less problematic and dramatic than the bulk of the issues I’ve written. On Kami.

*Hits Rewind button.

It was the trying times of 20 fucking 20. Coronavirus was running rampant, much like racism. The only difference is Corona don’t give a fuck your skin complexion nor beliefs. All it wanted was to fuck your life up and stop you from living your best life.

Side note, I’m really trying to speak in past tense, but the shit is still happening. Ugh as if.

Corona is the true definition of cancel culture, because that is exactly what the fuck it did. Concerts, cons, gatherings, school, jobs, fun functions, etc.

Graduations are included in the etc, in case you didn’t realize.

If I was graduating last year I would have been upset more so by this. Imagine your senior year finally arrives and all the things you had been excited about for the past 3 years because halted for safety concerns. Even though I legit didn’t care about any of that 19 years ago, I can empathize for those whose adolescent hearts desires were ripped a sunder.

Tragic.

Thats it for the preface for anyone new to life or for anyone who reads this from a decade from now.

As I mentioned last issue, my ancestors told me not to go back to the cotton field when it was mandated that we return since the stay at home order was no longer in effect. However, my girlfriend stayed and at some point she told me that a coworker wanted to pay for a cap and gown graduation shoot.

Sure, I’ll do it.

Her and I made contact with each other and made arrangements to do the shoot. We chose Freedom Park on a Friday after. A hot, blazing, torch filled afternoon in June.

FUCK. *Witchers voice.

She arrived with her mother, who I haven’t seen since ummmmmm March. We chatted for a little bit and then her and her daughter started to traverse in the park. At first she seemed nervous but as time went on she got comfortable. She was hesitant to smile hard for some reason, I told her that she is allowed to smile as hard as she wants and not to think about how anyone would perceive her.

Translation, fuck what people think.

Side note, I literally was the only who was sweating like a slave in the fields. How she wasn’t in a cap and gown is beyond me.

Nigger heat is real bro. Real and fucking oppressive as fuck. SHIT.

We were out there for at least an hour, I think. We made our way back to the parking lot where her mother paid me and we said our goodbyes.

And thats it.

Told ya this wasn’t a dramatic issue, at all. Honestly the most dramatic part of the whole day was after the shoot. I was going to give photography lessons to a friend who helped me out with a shoot at the same park. While I was waiting for her to arrive I sat on a bench under a web of trees the song Strange Fruit By Billie Holiday was playing in my head.

But Jano why?

Because at some point last summer, random black bodies were found hanging from trees.

Yea. Class can you say Jano was Shook? Because I fucking was.

ON KAMI.

FUCK.

Chills went through my body as I think about it.

FUCK MAN.

Anyway to see the image from that blazeful, blistering, sweaty day click here.

Thats it for me. I dead ass have an urger to BattleToads and Double Dragon on Sega Genesis right now. Which I think I’m gonna do. I’m pretty sure I won’t get far, but whatever.

Side note, I have 3 episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation left and I’m kinda sad about it. Yea there is still the movies that relate to that saga but still, my childhood man.

Ok issue over.

Incandescent Spirits

05 Friday Apr 2019

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o22

Dear Friends of Jano,

MAN I hate writing issues when I am tired as shit, but the way my life is setup currently this may be best time I get to write it. First off can we talk about the vocal range of Marsha Ambrosius. Nigga OMG, her cds don’t her justice. They don’t. I saw her in concert 2 days before my birthday last month at the underground. Happy Bday to me indeed.   Now this weekend I am going to go to Raleigh to see J.Cole perform at Dreamville Festival.  Him, Rapsody, 6lack, Teyana Taylor, Bas, and some other people who I don’t really care for but they are part of the ride.

And Pizza Hut bought the P’zone back, NIGGA what a time to be alive.

YES LAWD *Anderson Paak Voice

Anyway.

This issue is kinda complicated, not as complicated as the mermaid saga of 2017 but still complicated.

Spoiler Alert, its kinda awkward too.

So 2 thousand motha fuckin 18 was an ironic headache, truly. When the year started I thought I would get a jump on my model search to avoid the exhausting effort of trying to find people to shoot for the ideas I have. Part of that thought process included asking some of those who had modeled for me in 2017, this issue is the basis of that.

In February 2017, I was scrolling on my timeline and saw that my homegirl who modeled for me in this issue, had came back home from overseas military things. On a whim I decided to text her and asked if she would model for me again. She said she would, even though honestly I had no idea that I wanted to bring to life.  Good thing for the internet and all its many influences.

I scrolled on IG and let the barrage of images rape my eyes until some amalgamation of a concept hit me. At some point I decided to go by the arcade and drive by the light rail to get more of an idea of wtf I am doing with my life this time round. The concept I thought of was multi pronged as fuck. It would start off at her house doing some erotic photos, with her wanting to play video games but her systems were broke, so she would venture to the arcade and find joy there. I emailed her the idea, while inquiring about her wardrobe because part of the motivation for this shoot was the colorful  enticing outfits that I saw. She told me she liked what the models had on but didn’t have anything like it, but would buy similar ones for it since she wanted to update her wardrobe. In addition she wanted to loose some weight before you got shot in an erotic fashion, fair.

I told her I would contact her as the weather warmed up to see when she would be ready to get shot again. April came and I emailed her, and it was a complete 180. She went from I really like those type of outfits to I’m not gonna buy them because the guy I am talking to doesn’t like them.

Nigga what?

You and I had come to an agreement before this nigga was even in the picture, now my whole concept is thrown away for some dude that you probably won’t last with. Side note I legit have no clue if they are still together, but my spider sense says probably not.

Ugh Aggravated, Aggravated. *Judge Morty voice.

This whole shoot was based on her saying yes to certain things, one of which was shooting you in your house. But now because some guy came into the picture entered the picture who probably ain’t shit, I have to go and find a replacement. And this is one more reason why I hate fickle females. Moral of the story once again, Jano is trash when someone else comes into the picture for anything.

Typical.

Since I actually liked the concept I had to go find me a replacement person. So off to instagram I go. Craigslist was no longer an option because they started to charge per ad, and considering that the bulk of 2017 I only got 2 models out of a myriad of ads I posted, or my ads taken down because apparently it was suspicious to some one.There was no way I was gonna waste my money on something I may not get a return on.

Yes you read that right, out of all the ads I saw on craigslist me looking for a model was odd. I decided to test out this whole suspicious offensive content by posting an ad about I was looking for a model to do a photoshoot with a model covered in my cum. ON EVERY FUCKING THING that wasn’t flagged for being inappropriate at all. But trying to find models for a mermaid, a masquerade shoot, a shoot in a graveyard, and a goth School girl was a fucking problem. Ok.

Anyway.

I was going through IG profiles, legit requesting to follow some people just so I can see their profiles and to see if they were what I was looking for. At some point someone slid in my DMs for once,( Forreal that never happens like at all) it was one of the girls I had requested to follow. She told me saw that I was a photographer and wanted to know if I needed a model.

Time Frame Reference, we are in May right now. Just figured I throw that in there.

Yes, yes I do. I told her yea and about the current project I am working on. She wanted to meet me first, we picked a day and agreed to meet each other after we left our cotton fields at Amelies.  We met I was chill, she was chill, we were all chill. ( Did anyone catch that Good Burger Reference, nah, ya’ll niggas whack.) At some point during our meeting she told me she lived with an authoritative  family member, which essentially killed shooting them erotically at their place. But we will get that in a minute.

For some reason I was thinking that this meeting was just going to be that, so I didn’t bring my camera or anything. But she was willing to be shot that day, so we went to my house to which isn’t far, got my camera and went to the light rail near Abari. This was legit my first photoshoot since the mermaid saga.

But Jano what about the 3 issues after that?

Those don’t count, because those weren’t my ideas at all. Even if I were to count those, it still doesn’t explain how fucking awkward I was. I legit couldn’t articulate a single fucking thought on how I wanted her to pose.  At some point I tried to shoot her against the wall of the arcade, and my lens was not functioning at all. Nigga what?! It would try to focus on her but nothing. Shit was embarrassing. Even with the flash there was nothing. At some point we called it a night and said we will do the next portion at my house.  Man I was embarrassed as fuck, about my performance, of both me and my camera.  Since she didn’t stay on her own we decided to do the next portion at my house, which sucked. Why? Because my place legit has no fucking aesthetic at all.

None, no such aesthetic at all. Especially compared to my friends house where all this was supposed to happen at.

But Jano why don’t you decorate?

Have ya’ll missed the part of the story where I have been laid off and unemployed the bulk of the last 5 years? Kinda makes it hard to decorate when you lack funds.

I legit find myself lamenting the loss potential because of a fickle female right now. Ugh anyway. The night before we met, I practiced using my camera and lens in a low lit environment. I had black light bulbs in all areas of the house and hung Christmas lights in certain areas. It was lit.

Haha, sorry thought it would be appropriate to say that phrase this one time in life. HA, ok back to the narrative.

I told her I would feed her for coming over here. We ate Digorno’s  and started shooting.Ya’ll ….this shit….was ….TOUGH. My camera was still doing the exact same thing it was the other night.

But Jano, didn’t you practice?

Yes Nigga I practiced. None of the problems that occurred during practice happened all through the night. So fucking frustrating. Now I know how my parents felt when they got mad when I acted like a cunt ass nigga when we had company when I was little. There is a certain amount of guilt when someone drives from Huntersville to help you out and shit doesn’t go smoothly. Along with the light problems, I also had problems getting the shot I want since my lens isn’t wide enough.

Meaning, shooting in closed quarters is kind of a problem

We agreed to one more session the following week and I legit feared the results. We met and actually were shooting inside the arcade. For me I was having issues with lighting, lens width and articulating thoughts of how I wanted to shoot her.  The ironic part is that  for the bulk of the shoots that I have talked about that are my ideas, I always walk the area first before I shoot them and visualize how I want the shoot to go. On God my nigga you couldn’t tell with this one at all.

As we were were living, this dude came up to us as we were leaving. We ended up having a discussion about cameras.  Essentially I found out that not all camera lens are created equal henceforth why I was having trouble with my lens performing the way it did.  Probably would have found this out sooner but this was my first low light shoot ever.Moral of the story, not all lens matter.

Ugh, just thinking recalling this saga makes me gringe. Gringe as fuck. OMG so much fucking gringe. Anyway to see the images from this gringe fest check go here.

Anyway that is how I obtained my purple stone. 5 left. I promise I still feel like Thanos still.When I get the last 3 I want to feel snap my fingers and obliterate the population, I think I deserve it.

But for right now I am going to wash my hair.

Side note, if you ever decide to say that you will model for me (if I ask) and decide to be fickle as the friend I mentioned earlier. I will set your life on fire in the way Cersei did those holy fuckers in Game of Thrones.

Ok, now it is time to drench these curls.

Double Divulging Day

01 Friday Mar 2019

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fOY-J-4Q

Dear Friends of Jano,

YO its fucking March now, that shit is wild. Like holy fuck. The concept of time is blowing my mind right now, like woah. Almost as much seeing Anderson Paak in concert did. YES LAWD, that shit was amazing last week.  And then Kilo Kish this week. I think concerts maybe a new thing for me, just maybe.

Anyway.

So this months issue is one of those family friendly, wholesome, and full of tender moments that make you believe in humanity.  I guess things like this is good for you every once in a while.

Spoiler Alert, I probably won’t be ranting about the events of this shoot…probably.

Side note, I’m legit have some form of writers block right now so the writing in this issue may not be the best.

At some point in February last year while I was scripting my comic series Azure Ascendance, one of my homegirls I met in a Psychology and Law class at  UNCG during my last year hit me up. She told me her and her husband were in the process of closing on their first home, and wanted to do house reveal photos. After I gave a wave of holy shit congrats for being real adults, I told her I was down. I let her know I was available on the w.ends mostly.  I said mostly because I was technically working two jobs but one wasn’t scheduling me. Right it was odd, not that I was upset but thats another story.

Fuck retail.

Anyway, the date that she wanted to do the photos was actually on Easter and ironically we were close that day. Who knew? Real shit I didn’t know, I didn’t think some retail chains have souls.

*cough Ikea cough*

The day came and I headed to her new house after I got something to eat. I got in her neighborhood and was like oh yea I’m def poor poor and not a real adult.  Not at all, no such real adult exist. None.

I parked and walked up to the door.When she opened the door I looked down and saw a pregnancy belly as she yelled surprise.

HOLY FUCK. Wasn’t ready, at all. Like…HOLY FUCK.

Flabbergasted is putting it mildly how shocked I was, I had to sit down. I think I shouted Holy Fuck and Congrats multiple times, along with other things to that affect. Her husband walked in, and I said you couldn’t pull out could ya? We all laughed.

Side note, we all know how babies are made right?  Its 2019 and I’m not filtering my mouth for anyone because they missed sex education.

But in case you have no idea I’ll tell ya.

Spoiler Alert, babies are made when sperm bombs explode in a vagina hole.

Anyway after we caught up she told me what type of photos she wanted and we got to it.

Told ya this is a pretty undramatic issue. The only problem that existed was that I need a better lens for wide angle shots. I promise at some point I heard my knee pop while trying to get an all encompassing photo of their house.

FUCK!!!!

Anyway when it was over we went to get something to eat. She asked me if I could I get them done soon so she can do a big social media reveal. So when I got home I knocked it out within a few hours.

Spoiler Alert, I’m the magical pretty negro your parents warned you about.

So Jano what are they having?

Well that will be revealed in another issue. But for right now you can check out my knee popping images here.

If all my shoots were as straight forward as this, I probably wouldn’t be so existential. Just saying.

Thats actually all for this. As far as my comic is concerned I need to do better. Legit need to do better. I haven’t progressed as far as I would want since I restarted coloring mid January.

Jano how many pages have you colored?

6. 6 fucking pages. I’m so disappointed in myself. I blame my job, I do. I’m exhausted as fuck when I get off and have a weird sleep pattern because of it. If this cotton field shut down right now, I would legit be excited because I could color to my souls content.

I just want to see comic turned animated on Netflix and Hulu, fuck these jobs that do nothing for me and my soul. Any witches reading this please feel free to help. It’ll be a nice bday gift for me this month. That and Spiderman for PS4, just saying.

Anyway, I’m going to play X-men Vs Street Fighter since I finally got it to work.

Hybrid out.

Sunday Stroll

01 Wednesday Aug 2018

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unspecified-8

Dear Friends of Jano,

Yo On God my nigga, I hate summer rain forecast. How am I supposed to accurately plot out my life if it says it is going to rain, but yet it is as dry as all the old cum in my belly button. Now Summer Rain By Carl Thomas is playing in my head, great because I don’t have enough over emotional ass songs playing in my head.

Anyway.

Remember when I said I did 3 photoshoots last April, well this is the final one. AWWW the simple times of picking a location, asking someone to model for you, then shooting them on a set date. MAN, what a time to be alive.

But Jano what do you mean?

You’ll see in upcoming issues. Holy Fuck you will see.

Anyway.

Back in the cunt bag year of 2016 in August when I was unemployed and foolishly trying to get a stable job as a web designer.

I went to a crash course coding networking event for the now defunct as fuck Iron Yard. It was in Uptown/ Downtown Charlotte in this building called Packard Place.While I was waiting for this event aka waste of my time to start, I stared out the window and saw Romare Bearden Park. I started thinking it would be fun to do a shoot there.

Fast Forward to March 2017.

Two of my friends from college decided to visit me. At some point when they were having a conversation which I could contribute nothing to, so I started scrolling on Instagram.

Jano, that is so rude.

Fuck off, ya’ll do it too.

Anyway, I was scrolling and saw a photo from one of my former slave coworkers from the plantation, IKEA. At some point I decided to ask if she would model for me, she said yea, and I internally while externally went YAAAAS.

I promise ON GOD, ON GOD MY NIGGA, this is the last time that a model search will be this fucking easy for me. I legit just face palmed.

Anyway.

Even though me and her worked together at that cunt customer cotton field for 3 years, I legit didn’t know anything about her or fashion sense. Real shit majority of the time I saw her I talked shit to her. But not hardcore shit that would make someone do a Hannah Baker, but like soft core shit that you could put on a ice cream cone and serve up with a smile.

I just threw up in my mouth a little with that analogy.

We met up so I could browse her closet and we picked an outfit each, picked a date, and caught up about life after. The next day I went to downtown to plan a route for how I wanted this shoot to go. Because ya know its important to storyboard mentally how you want events to go that you are planning. At least in my world.

Alicia Keys so simple is so playing in my head right now.

The day came and I was one of the few who realized that drinking and driving isn’t a good thing and spent the night at a friends house after a bday party. Safety First. Fast Forward through slow service at Midnight Diner, Goodbyes, college buddy group photos, and me going home to showering (because ya know hygiene is key), it was shoot time.

She had never modeled before and I was like girl you’ll be fine.

And she was, Legitly.

She had a lot of excitement and I didn’t regret my choice. She channeled her Americas Next Top Model as she got comfortable being in front of the camera. I almost felt bad for all the soft serve shit I gave her in the cotton field. Almost.

Everything for the next few hours were Kool….. except when my nuts met a guard rail. HOLY FUCK OF FUCKING FUCKED CUNTS, FUCKING JOB HAZARDS. She told me to shhh my yelling because a child was near by. NIGGA FUCK THAT CHILD!!. My tender freshly clean nuts just got more tenderized by this fucking metal guard rail. NIGGA!!!!

Spoiler Alert, if we do a shoot and I get hurt in an extreme way I will yell. No fucks shall be given about the opinions and ear drums of the surrounding people. None, no such fucks shall exist.

Anyway to see the by product of this blissfully planned day go here.

In case ya’ll have been wondering why I keep emphasizing how easy things went is because the next four photoshoots I talk about were arduous as when Vegeta was trying to become a Super Saiyan. Didn’t get that anime reference? Fine, it was like trying to avoid spoilers on the internet when you haven’t seen an episode or movie yet. Actually I rather try to avoid spoilers then deal with the fuckery I dealt with last summer.

Ironically enough despite planning it is happening again this year.

Spoiler Alert, the next few issues will be full of shade, sarcasm and salt. So much Salt that you would think I was gonna put Mortons Salt out of business.

The moment you realize that your Art Journey is similar to a Role Playing Game.

Have I leveled up yet?

Refreshingly Weird as Fuck

16 Friday Mar 2018

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Refreshingly Weird as fuck.jpg

Dear Friends of Jano,

Man I draw I some weird shit and I am ok with that.

A few weeks ago I said I would be doing 3 issues this month, well this is the 3rd one and which is coming out today on my bday. Yep I am that narcissistic to drop an issue on my bday, this year at least,

Man it feels good to just be fucking laying here, and not in the cotton field not getting whipped to do a repetitive task. Not gonna lie I’ve been drawing lately while I  should have been picking mastas cotton, hell I redrafted that image while there HAAAA *Jadakiss laugh.

Speaking of that image is an invite for my bday party tomorrow. The actual invite has Sega font on it, excitement doesn’t begin to describe the way I feel when I found that font.The goal is to  get schwifty as fuck tomorrow while rocking a portal gun….and hopefully not black out. Yeah that’s a thing, hey I actually didn’t last time I had a house party.  Look at me being a responsible adult….kinda. Am I still an adult if I’m waving around a portal gun?  Not like I can use it to exile nuggas from this time and space.

As far today goes the chill goals are gonna be tremendous. My main goals is to take a walk in the park while eating a mango.

Spoiler Alert Im serious.

And to watch some of my favorite movies. Hyper Speed Grandoll (OMG still a fave from when I was 16), Dope, and probably The Craft. Oh yeah to eat Japanese, gotta eat Japanese plus playing video games. Maybe continue playing Sonic Mania and Etta Bond like I did last night .MAN FUCK THE FLYING BATTERY ZONE that stage can suck my whole dick, veins and circles.

Huh Sorry, kinda.

Probably listen to Savage Garden, and oh shit Logic has a new CD.Time to vibe yo.

Anyway thats roughly gonna be my life today, hopefully ill see some friends in the process while having my hair  out in full force.  I’m hoping Ill check Spotify at some point  and see Azealia Banks Fantasea 2 is released today, that would be a great bday present. YES LAWD *Anderson Pack Voice.

Alright, fuck it I’m done typing. I just woke up Im surprised I wrote this damn much. I updated my house party flyers here., minus the font of course. Don’t want y’all nuggas knowing where I live.

Wait Jano, How old are you?

Magic Nigga,Magic and weird as fuck.

 

Mad Monster Party 2018

04 Sunday Mar 2018

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Dear Friends of Jano,

Yo today was a legit chill ass fucking today, despite me waking up early as fuck on my day off.

I was like yo let me edit the pictures from my first Mad Monster Party, but first I need to watch something. I started the new DevilMan CryBaby series on Netflix, yo how come no one told me how nice this series is. My friends who watch anime and who didn’t tell me about it, ya’ll nuggas are on prohibition. Anyway after 2 episodes I decided to start work on the images, while listening Krizz Kaliko: Go and Hannibal Burress: Live from Chicago. Watched my shows, did my hair, chilled all day then just finished watched the latest Justice League Movie……it was ok, it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was gonna be. Legit can’t deal with Ben Affleck as Batman, whose Mans is this that thought it would be a good idea to be Batman. HOW SWAY?!

Anyway the party.

So back in 2016(GRRSSSSSH that year), my actress home girl England Simpson, (Spoiler alert, I took her profile picture but we will talk about that later… no literally we will). told me about the Mad Monster Party and I was like word I wanna check it out one day.

Fast foward to February 17, 2018, she put me on the list to get in that day.

Yo I’ve never been on the list before, I felt so important in my life. I almost wanted to walk around with my meat out and swinging. Swoosh Swoosh nuggas.

Anyway.

I arrived at the Hilton and met up with her, at some point we made it down to where show floor. MAN so many people in cosplay, OMG. Like OMG. I low-keyed geeked out at some peoples outfits. Nigga, I saw Mick Foley at one of the tables, internally I was going oh shit.I’ve seen you on TV getting bruised, battered and beaten so many times and know you are right here in front of me.

Jano did you say that in front of him?

Fuck no, he would have beaten me worse than the people that have beat his ass over the years.

Anyway we walked around, and yo I’m not gonna lie my years of being a hermit gave me a bad case of hush mouth. I legit had trouble asking people for pictures. Yay for friends because England def helped me shoot my shot.

I was trying for a basketball reference, did it work.Nah ok. Moral of this part of the story I need to not let social anxiety stop me from getting photo worthy photos….best analogy I got right now, deal with it.

The show was pretty dope though. At some point her sister came and it was the three of us traversing the horror film fest grounds. We checked out the Cosplay beauty pageant and spoiler alert this girl I randomly I added on facebook a few years ago was hosting it. I was like I know that girl….not really.

Side note, I liked how many white people looked at us like what are you niggers doing here? Duh, enjoying our lives you Plumbus face diseased cunts.

Dear White People, just because you kill black people off first in horror movies doesn’t mean we won’t come to genre themed conventions. Spoiler alert we like this shit too.

Eventually we made it down to the movie premiere of Prelude: A Love Story. Spoiler Alert it was the movie England made with her sister Ingrid had produced, and which England starred in.

I liked it, there was one part which I thought was hilarious as fuck. Spoiler alert….nah I’m playing I don’t do spoilers for films especially if my friends made them. You’ll just have to wait and see.

I think thats it, to see some of the pictures I took go here on the internet.

Oh yeah one more thing.

Ya’ll listen.

If you ever find yourself in front of someone taking a picture of someone else, don’t just stand there in front of the lens. Move, as in Move Bitch Get outta the way Get outta the way bitch Get outta the way.

That stupid fucking cunt acne faced blonde ditz.

Ok that’s it, Im out.

Nature Badge

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

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pe16

 

Dear Friends of Jano,

Holy fuck its fucking cold. I’ve never been so ashy in my entire life. Nigga have you ever been so cold that parts of your body are in pain. NIGGA. Thats where I am in my life right now, just colder than Chilly Willy Snowflake.

What did you think I was gonna start this off with Happy New Year? By the time I post this you prob have heard it more times than you care to. So why continue the cycle. I will tell you I am really enjoying listening to CD’s I ain’t heard in years. Right now its Toni Braxton’s Secrets and Changing Faces, All day and All Night albums. YAAAAAASSS.

Anyway it may be 2018 now but I am still stuck in the past as I continue my photographic  journey. This episode is actually the last photoshoot I did in August of the fuck boy year of 2016, but first a flashback. One day back in August 2015 though I was feeling social and decided to visit one of my homegirls. I asked if I could photograph her eldest daughter and she said yea, fast forward one year later and that brings us this episode.

Spoiler alert: She is the koolest 11 year old I know. Also side note the only 11 year old I know, I’m not out here making friends with children that will be weird as fuck.

Spoiler alert 2:  I hate kids. Real Shit I do. I bet you won’t expecting that shit. Well there are exceptions. I like my friends kids, thats it. So if you and I are friends and you have a child, I will like your child. Everyone else, Nah Bruh not at all.  The ironic part is that kids like me, why I have no fucking idea.

Anyway it took a while for this adventure to happen only because of conflicting schedules, but once it happened it was fun especially for my friends daughter. She is a member of the Girls Scouts and likes nature so she really enjoyed herself. She never modeled before in her 9 years of life (when this shoot occurred) but she really did a great job. I was such a proud uncle. *inserts joy here* I told her to tell all her friends at school she was model so they can get jealous, and they did. HA, take that children I care nothing about at all. Did I just throw shade at children, fuck yea I did.

Anyway to check out our adventure at Reedy Creek Park check them out here.

As far as the rest of my life goes, I hope that I can regain the motivation I had for my projects as I use to. It probably would help if the cotton field didn’t drain the fuck out of my soul. If this was an RPG I would use an item to regain my focus ability because right now that shit is trash on all fronts. I am currently plotting out photoshoots for the year and my sincere hope is that I deal with the fickle fuckery that I dealt with last year. I hope the souls of those who emitted that fickle fuckery die of soul AIDS, or real AIDS which ever comes first. I legit give no fucks

Spoiler alert, my mouth will probably be worse this year. This is your chance to get out now because there will be no other warning.

Anyway if you are interested in modeling for me send me an email with an image of yourself, and I’ll be in contact with you. Ummmmm I think thats it for right now, I think. If I keep going I will just start rambling how I want a new Dragon Age game to be released this year, Boruto to get interesting, The new season of The Magicians premiere this week, I need more episodes of Black Mirror,Deadpool 2 is gonna give me joy when it gets released, and I how I legit hate winter. OMFG can it be spring time already. It feels like that dragon that was possessed by the Night King in the season 7 finale of Game of Thrones is raping us all with his dead ice dragon breath. FUCK

 

Moonside Sound

23 Saturday Dec 2017

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jn36

Dear Friends of Jano,

Yo Real Shit I wanna pass back out after just waking up a few hours ago, never mind I kinda I have to so I can be in the cotton field in a few hours. Right now the only thing keeping me awake is listening to Hannibal Buress as I type this.  Damn it Spotify stop fragging up on me. Why are you like this?

So anyway since it’s the holidays and there was a period between September and November when my posting schedule got fragged cuz of adjustment to slavery and ain’t shit nigga fuckery. I decided to do another issue this month.

Fuck, I’m so fucking tired. Fuck.

Anyway where am I in this journey, oh yeah August 2016. Like I said a few issues ago I had this grand idea of a photo series about those with artistic abilities. Ya know acting, writing, music, etc. Most people had dropped out but luckily one of my friends was still able to do it. One of my boys I met when I was picking cotton.

Yeah, you read that right, picking cotton. Where? Everyone’s favorite plantation, IKEA. That nazi slave camp, but real shit I met some kool people in the process of shucking and jiving. Spoiler Alert, there will always be a strong slave solidarity against snobbish ass white people.

Anyway.

My fellow freed slave is Producer and Beat Maker Justin Nelms, who makes candy for your ears. Nigga when I say your ear drums will cum slowly from hearing his sounds that is not an exaggeration. If you like Nujabes then you will def like his material. Probably because he was born into a family of music. Genetics can be a good thing at time especially when said source material is augmented by dedication to your craft.

The photo session was insanely chill especially since I didn’t end up in pain like I did in the Scarlet Tracks issue. Unfortunately it was cut short because he had a deadline to meet but we def shot some good material within the time span we were allowed.  Despite that it was a good shoot and fun to see one of my fellow slaves free and enjoying life.

Some of the photos from said adventure are here. As for my friend check out his website here, his sound is definitely worth the money. And as with everything please don’t waste anyones time if you decide to work with him. Professionalism is key *inserts flashbacks*, man fuck 2016.

Anyway this is probably going to be the last issue for this year. Sucks right, I am working on Act 2 as we speak, well not currently as we speak because obviously I am working on this issue but you get the point. I am doing coloring videos on my instagram snap chat thingy from time to time, feel free to check that out. You ever see someone color to a soundtrack, no? Ok there ya go. Talk to ya in 2018, here’s hoping I won’t be so damn tired next issue. Meanwhile I’m gonna try to see the new Star Wars, Thor, and Justice League movies. Yeah I’m behind.

Oh yea, Fuck IKEA like 2016.

 

Ok now I’m done.

Spoiler Alert: Summer Projects

20 Friday Oct 2017

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Dear Friends of Jano,

Holy Fuck it actually feels like fall outside, a month later after its initial arrival. I legit will miss summer minus the days it felt like having skin wasn’t necessary. Along with several other things from this past summer.

Things like what Jano?

Well not being employed, living with someone who didn’t clean after themselves, and fickle ass models. Which brings us to the subject of this issue, nice segue right?

So this summer I decided to expand my portfolio with four specific ideas. Two of which were inspired by me JUST now seeing The Craft movie ( I know I’m 20 years late), a masquerade style shoot and a mermaid. What should have taken a few weeks literally turned into a four month fucking god damn journey. Holy fucking fuck.

However.

After an unnecessary amount of bullshit from fickle ass people, I finally brought these ideas to life. I am legit satisfied as fuck with the four who helped me out, They are the real damn MVP.

But Jano what about those who were fickle as fuck with you?

I don’t give a fuck about their lives and they can get raped by a gaggle of squirrels, catch AIDS, and get their vaginas bashed with a bag of rocks superglued with glass fragments. They are completely useless to me and should be gone from my sight. Spoiler alert, no apologies at all. I’m actually pretty darn chill until you waste my time.

I’ll go into more details when I reach these shoots in my timeline, but for right now I just wanted to give a preview of what is to come. In other news I am about to start inking Act 2 of my comic series, Azure Ascendance. On another note it is amazing how much better I can focus now that I don’t live with a filthy odorous ogre.

Man there is a lot of salt in this issue, oh well. Consider your eyes seasoned for the day  🙂

In non salty news, I legit love the new Star Trek Discovery. The Gifted is ok so far, what the fuck is this Mutant Holocaust they keep alluding to? As far as this season of Gotham I hope it isn’t trash, legit getting possible trash vibes. Not as trashy as Boruto, that shit is growing flies daily. Sadly it will probably go on for another 10 years, it can’t be worse than Dragon Ball Gt, right? Never mind that may be a thing.

Man, now that I got all of this salt out of my system I feel like a person again. I’m still an asshole, but ya know a friendly asshole.

 

 

 

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